Heart's Compass, page 42
To place kisses all along his rugged jaw. Up his cheeks, across his forehead. To delve her fingers through his head of thick silky hair.
But most of all, she longed to gaze upon him naked as she had done so long ago. To have him look upon her like she was the most important thing to him in the world. To see desire flare in his eyes, not as a lad, but as a man.
He looked across the table at her. As if he could read her mind, his eyes darkened. The emotion swirling in those chocolate depths was very clear to her. He desired her. Now. Still. After all this time.
Unable to keep her own gaze unheated, Leona looked away. She tried to focus on the exchanges around her but every time she glanced in Trace’s direction he was staring at her. Straight through to her soul, where he read what she wanted in big block letters.
After breakfast the children ran to go play outside for a while. Lucien and Ciara were going with. They left Leona and her guest at the door to one of the receiving rooms. There was tea and biscuits already set out. With a nudge, both were in the room and alone.
“Missed you, kitten.”
Leona struggled to maintain her control, so she walked over to the window and looked out into the backyard. “What was it that you needed to talk to me about?”
“Can we sit down?”
“Go right ahead.” She stayed facing the window.
“Will you sit down with me?”
The hesitation was long enough to geld him. Leona walked back and sat down in a large chair before she pinned him with two tawny daggers.
“I need to tell you—” He broke off. After all this time, he couldn’t find the right words. “I have gone over what to say so much it should come to me, but it won’t.”
“Start at the beginning.”
“I’m just so confused.” He made a fist with his hand over and over so he wouldn’t jump up and touch her. Had to get through the talking first.
“Can I ask you some questions?” Leona sat primly beside him but her gaze, as always, was direct.
Relief? Most likely. “Please. Ask whatever you want.”
“Where were you?” There was no need for her to elaborate on that question, for he knew exactly what she meant.
“Steven and David had tied me up and locked me in one of the closets. They came back after and told me bits and pieces of it before they beat me into unconsciousness.”
Her eyes stayed on him. There was a war raging inside her and he saw it. He didn’t blame her. Hell, it was nothing more than an excuse, talking about how he’d been tied up and beaten by his own brothers when he was well aware of the hell she’d gone through.
“I know now it doesn’t mean much, but I am so sorry for that. I promised that I would protect you. I failed. I failed you.”
She watched him without flinching, but neither did she move away. He took that as a good sign.
“I was laid up for about two weeks, then I found out you and your mom had escaped. I prayed that you two would find safety somewhere and that you would not believe what Steven told you about me being with my next girl. That you were just a passing fancy. That was not true. There was never anyone else for me.”
Continued silence from Leona, and it made him uneasy. Did she believe him? Had she already made up her mind about him? His son?
“A few months later I went into the army. Since I had nothing to live for, I was dangerous and reckless. Apparently good qualities for what they were looking for. Once they got rid of my recklessness, I moved up through the ranks quickly. One of my trips home I met Bethany, from up the road. We were married and Falcon came later. I still don’t know if he is my son or Steven’s, not that it matters, for I love him all the same.”
He wanted to believe she softened at that. “Then the need for more slaves began.” Leona’s eyes grew sharp and shuttered. “I took a regiment to your island—still don’t know why, other than we were ordered there—and apparently walked into a trap set up by Steven. Then I woke up in your house. Did you always know it was me?”
Leona nodded. “From the second I turned you over on that frozen ground.”
“After all I did—or didn’t do—for you, why did you save me?”
“I had to.”
“Why?” He needed the reason.
“Because.”
“Tell me.” A command now, and he didn’t think it would be disobeyed.
“Because I had to.”
“Tell me.” He implored not only with his words but also his eyes.
“Because I was still in love with you. Because at one time you were my friend. Because I couldn’t sit there and let you die without trying to save you.”
‘Was. Was in love with.’ What the hell is with the past tense? “And now? How do you feel? About me? About us?”
“There is no us. Don’t you get it? You were the master.” She spat the word with disgust. “I was the slave. What we had…it was not real. It was just a disillusioned childhood fantasy for me, and I’m not sure what it was for you.”
“No! Damn it, I won’t accept that. You can’t sit there and tell me that it was nothing. There was something between us, there still is. I can feel it and I know you can. We are connected, Leona. We always have been.”
“You have a son, Trey, by another woman. You own slaves.”
“No, I don’t. I do not own any slaves. There are workers on my plantation, but they’re paid. Very well.”
There was no denying her shock at his statement. “What do you see when you look at me?”
He had zero hesitation when he answered. “I see the most beautiful woman in the world. I see the adolescent girl who stole my heart who went and grew into a stunning woman who takes my breath away every time I look at her. Yes, at one time you were a slave, but make no mistake, I do not see a slave when I look at you. I see the other half of my soul. I love you, Leona. I always have.”
“What about the color of my skin?”
“What about it? It looks wonderful on you.”
“I’m different.”
He shook his head. “You need to get over this. I love you for you. Stop throwing obstacles in our path. I am declaring myself to you. I will be competing with the other suitors to win your hand. I hope I am not wrong about where your heart already lies. I’ll find a way for you to trust me again.”
When she said nothing, Trace shuttered his eyes to conceal his pain. He realized that he had a long battle ahead of him.
“Tell me about your son.”
Perhaps a safer topic for the moment. “Well, his name is Garrett, but he prefers to be called Falcon. When I got back from your island, I found that he had been living in the slave quarters. Steven and Bethany beat him often. He was scared and timid, but we’re working through it.”
“I am sorry for what he went through. No one deserves that. Especially a child.”
Trace stood up and walked over to where Leona sat. Pulled on her hand to get her to her feet. Then he walked them both over to the chair closest to the roaring fire. He sat himself down in front of the chair, placing Leona between his legs so her back was flush with his chest.
“Tell me about it.”
Chapter Sixteen
Leona shuddered and tried to move away, but he held fast. She inhaled deeply before she began. Again, there was no need to clarify the request, for she knew exactly of what he spoke.
“After I was ripped away from you, I was taken to the pit. You remember that, right? The pit?” Her body trembled against his but she stayed there and soaked up his strength. “After dinner they brought me out. Stripped me naked and hung me by my wrists until my toes barely touched the ground. Then they whipped me in front of everyone.”
Trace’s hands caressed both of her wrists, the motion gentle and soothing. Calming. “After that?”
“After that Mama was allowed to take me home and she nursed me. I believed that you had betrayed me. Steven stopped by just to tell me that you were with your newest slave girl. That hurt worse than any beating I could have received, for I fancied myself in love with you and believed that you felt the same about me. I dreamed that one day we would be together. Married. Not having to hide our feelings. That was just a dream. As soon as I could move Mama ran with me. To the island, Saba. Once on the island, Mama met Jackson. They were in love and not afraid to show it.”
She licked her lips, glad he couldn’t see her face. “He encouraged my painting habit and sold my first painting for me. He has been investing my money ever since. Anyway, then I saw you again and came here to England.”
“I’m so sorry. I promised to protect you and I failed,” he murmured. Then his words became even fainter. “I would have given my life for you. I would still to this day.”
Leona snuggled up against his chest, the heat from the fire warming her front and the heat radiating from the man behind her keeping her warm from the back. How perfect was this? For the first time in years she felt perfectly content. She turned a little to the side and placed her face against his rock-hard chest.
He smelled like sandalwood and spice. She fell asleep as he sat there stroking her hair, lost in thought.
* * * *
After a while, she roused from her sleep. She was still warm and content on the floor in front of the fire, wrapped up securely in Trace’s arms.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to doze off. That was really rude of me.”
“Don’t worry about it. I like holding you in my arms while you sleep. Can I ask you a question?”
“Um-hum.”
“Does it matter to you that I have a son?”
“No. Should it?”
“Well, he was concerned that he would remind you of the plantation. And to be perfectly honest, so was I.”
She sat and tucked some hair behind her ear. “Trace, you remind me of the plantation. But I would never take anything out on a child.”
“I know. But I had to ask.”
“I think he looks a lot like you did at his age.” She smiled at him.
“Do you? I don’t see it but between the two of us, you were the one who looked at me more,” he teased.
They shared a moment of silence.
Trace cleared his throat. “Where do we go from here?”
“What do you mean?” Leona was still leery, but she knew that he would ever be the only man for her.
“I mean, where do we go from here? I love you, Leona. I want to fall asleep every night with you held in my arms and wake in the morning to you as well. I want to learn your body all over again, and show you just how beautiful I think you are. I want to spend days making love to you. Most of all, I want you to look at me like you used to, as though I had just handed you the moon and the stars. I want to see you grow large with our child. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” His hands curved around her abdomen as if he already anticipated a child growing safely in there.
“What about Falcon?”
“What about him?”
“How do you think this situation would make him feel? Not to mention how giving him a sibling might make him feel.”
“He’ll be fine.”
“This is too fast. I need time to think. To sort out my feelings.”
“What’s to sort out? You love me, right?”
“I…I…I just need some time.”
“All right, kitten. Some time. I’ll not stop coming around. I will be here every day to make sure you don’t forget me.”
As if that were possible.
Traced closed his eyes for a moment before he continued, “I’m not much for flowery words, or soft sentimental feelings. I never have been, and you know it. If that’s what it will take to get you to only want me then that is what I will do. I only want to make you happy. Please tell me you understand. Tell me.”
Back to his commands.
Trace tightened his arms around her. “Do you remember anything good about Hawk’s Cove?”
“Yes. The time I spent with you. The adventures that we had, the times we spent together as we explored Eden. All of that is a happy memory for me. Every second that we spent together was wonderful. You taught me what it was like to love, to be loved. What it was like to be a woman. It doesn’t matter, Trace. None of that will change that what I need now is time. Can you understand that?”
He stiffened slightly. “Yes, I understand. Will you at least give me a chance to make you see things as I do? That we belong together, always. I’m not in this for one night. I want to be with you until we’re both old and gray.”
“So I get time, but you’ll be there to try to influence my decision? Is that right?”
“Every step of the way, I will be there. I’ll not lose you to some dandy from this island. I will not lose you to anyone.”
He’d begun to caress her, fanning the flames that burned within her. Within moments, her body arched against his. Soft mews were born deep within her throat.
This time they were not teens bumbling around in inexperience. They were adults and knew just what they wanted. Every hair on Leona’s body stood on end—it was electrifying, being held in his arms.
Leona struggled to regain her control. She slid out from his arms and stood. “Come with me. I have something I want to show you.”
Trace rose with his usual fluid grace. Leona had to swallow a few times before she calmed herself enough to precede him out of the room and up the stairs.
Trace followed her willingly. He stared his fill as he walked behind her and watched her body move under her dress. Her hips swayed gently with each step she took. He still couldn’t get over how gorgeous she had become.
They went to the third floor and he realized what room they had entered once they got there. It was her studio. There were portraits and sketches in an organized mess all over the room.
A warm fire blazed within the hearth and it made the room very comfortable. She led him silently over to a table and stood there with apprehension on her face as she waited for him to look over the papers that lay scattered there.
Keely hadn’t been lying. Every single paper that covered the large table was of him. Different poses, head views, profiles and full-body sketches. And every single one of them had him happy with a sparkle in his eyes—the same sparkle that was in the picture she had given him when she’d returned his rings.
His mouth dropped as he stared at the sight before him. Her ability astounded him. She was absolutely amazing. And her artwork wasn’t that bad either.
Her mute admission about her feelings rocked him to the core. What she couldn’t say to him downstairs had just been yelled loud and clear.
She still loved him.
With a deceptively casual movement, he turned to her. Leona’s eyes were downcast, and her hair had fallen over part of her face, keeping her in the shadows. His body was tense and ready to pounce but he kept his actions calm.
“Look at me.” His tone was husky and seductive.
Her head came up slowly. A faint flush had settled on her cheeks but her eyes were what hit him hard. They glittered like jewels with unshed tears.
“Oh, kitten.” His voice was like velvet, and it reached and embraced her, he had no doubt it encased her in its softness. He could feel it too.
She made to step back and he acted. Just like a bird that swooped down on its unsuspecting prey, she was in his clutches.
It took mere seconds for his lips to find hers. That was all. Leona ran her hands up his body to lock around his neck. Everything she felt was in that kiss.
His tongue gained swift entrance to her mouth, where it proceeded to tangle with hers. His body was on fire. From her reaction, so was hers.
He backed her up to the bed that was along the wall and stopped. “Are you sure?” The question was guttural, admitting he had a hard time asking it.
“Yes. Please, Trey.”
It was his nickname that did it, did him in. He had her dress off in mere seconds, to pool on the floor. Her undergarments followed without delay and soon she was naked in front of him. He stopped and took in the sight before him.
She was magnificent. Her body was firm and tight. Her breasts were full and begged to be touched. Her legs were slim and long.
Trace stepped up to her and took the pins out of her hair so it cascaded down around her. She looked like a darker, more beautiful version of Venus as she came out of the water. As soon as her hair fell, he smelled the normal scent that he did around her, only this time he could place it. Orchids.
“You still smell like orchids. You always did.” His words were murmured as he stepped back to her.
“My turn.” Leona ran her eyes over him.
She slowly removed his shirt from his pants, then she began to unbutton it. Little by little his chest was revealed to her.
It was still broad, still firm. Still covered in that dusting of brown hair. He had a few scars, though, which she kissed as they became exposed.
With his shirt on the floor, she moved on to his pants. Leona unfastened them and pulled them down over his lean hips. His arousal pushed against his undergarment. Moments later he too was naked.
Trace pulled her back into his arms. It had been so long and all he wanted to do was ravish her, and yet at the same time he wanted to go slowly.
He placed kisses all over her face as he lowered them onto the little bed. His hands ran down her body to massage and tease her until she writhed with desire.
One large hand covered her as a finger dipped between the glistening curls to seek access to her heated core. Her thighs spread wider to accommodate him.
She lifted her hips to meet his finger. She was wet. More than ready for him.
“Please, Trey. Now.”
“Not yet.” He moved his mouth to her breasts and sucked them. First one, then the other, until they had hardened and were tender.
“Trace,” she moaned.
“Yes, kitten? What is it? What do you want?” His words were coarse with the strain of maintaining control of the situation.
“You. I want you, Trey.”
Trace settled himself between her legs, guided his hard length to her velvet heat and with one stroke encased himself fully within her.
