A Paramedic to Change Her Life, page 14
Cade didn’t want to feel that slam of emotion. He wasn’t ready. He knew it was going to come at some level, because he’d felt the stirrings of it for little Toby who wasn’t even his own child, but he still needed some form of protection. Until this miracle baby had, at least, entered the world safely and he’d got past the point where his life had crashed and burned last time he’d been in this position. It was difficult, however. Cade found himself standing, his muscles as tense as if they were poised for flight if necessary. He was far enough away from Jo that, if she reached out her hand, she wouldn’t be able to touch him and he was keeping his gaze firmly on the shifting shapes on the screen, rather than risk any of the kind of silent communication that eye contact with Jo seemed to spark.
Not that she was looking at him. Jo also had her gaze fixed to the screen, which was understandable. At this stage of her pregnancy it was possible to see details like fingers and toes, perhaps even facial expressions and to possibly discover the gender of the baby, but Cade had found a new safety net. He could focus on what the technician was doing, as she moved cursors and clicked on points to make measurements and screen for any anomalies. He could watch the clinical data that was being collected as the limbs and spine, the brain, kidneys and heart were examined and measurements recorded.
Cade could see that Jo was as tense as he was, by the way the hand he could see at her side was clenched, but he knew the reasons were very different from his own. Jo had no barriers that could prevent her wanting and loving this child as much as every child deserved to be wanted and loved. Her anxiety was all about how healthy her baby was. Cade’s heart gave a painful squeeze when he saw her swipe away a tear of relief when the technician told her that, while a doctor would double-check her findings, she was happy with everything she’d seen. There was a wobble in her voice as well.
‘Can you tell whether it’s a girl or a boy?’
‘Are you sure you want to know?’
Cade couldn’t avoid catching her glance as Jo turned her head, her eyebrows raised, asking how he felt about it. The muscles in his jaw might be bunched but he managed what he hoped was a smile that threw the decision back to her. He added a shrug for good measure. He didn’t care. It was only the health of the baby that mattered.
‘Yes,’ Jo said. ‘I’d like to know, please.’
‘It’s just a bit early to be a hundred percent sure,’ the technician said, moving her transducer again over the skin of Jo’s now obviously rounded belly. ‘But I did get a good look earlier. And...there...that’s a good angle too. Those legs can’t be hiding anything significant, so I’d put good money on Team Pink.’
Oh...man...
A girl.
A daughter.
He could hear his own voice in the back of his head from a time when the plan of fathering a baby for Jo had been a very different proposition.
I hope it’s a girl. I’d like her to grow up to be as awesome as her mum...
He’d planned to take Jo out to dinner after this appointment. He had some properties shortlisted and wanted to show her the brochures and get her opinion. He’d hoped she might come with him to view the houses, especially the lovely old villa he’d found on the peninsula, not far from those woodland gardens, with an amazing view of the harbour.
Instead, he found himself fishing the phone he’d put on silent out of his pocket, as if he’d felt it vibrating to signal a call. He was pretending to read a non-existent message as the technician was using soft paper towels to wipe the gel off Jo’s skin.
‘Sorry,’ he said to her. ‘But I’m going to have to go. They’re desperate for someone to fill a gap on night shift.’
‘No worries.’ Jo was pulling up the elastic band of her skirt to cover her belly. ‘Thanks for coming, Cade. We’ll talk soon, yes?’
‘Sure thing.’ Cade was already heading for the door.
Heading towards an escape that would give him time to settle the chaos in his head. And his heart. Time to pull the remnants of the defence he needed around himself and shore it up so that it could last the distance. He needed distraction. Maybe a blast of wind in his face from taking his bike out on the open road would do the trick. Because freedom could also be safety, couldn’t it?
* * *
Jo felt the baby move for the first time about a week after that ultrasound appointment. A tiny ripple of sensation in her belly that was earlier than she’d expected but was unmistakably the movement of those miniature limbs.
Her first thought was to share the news with Cade. To call him. Or hope that he would come into the department with a patient so she could tell him face to face. To find a private space and let him put his own hand on her belly, perhaps, in the hope that he would be able to feel it himself?
Her next thought was a panicked U-turn as she imagined his hand on her belly, knowing that he was only touching her to feel the baby. It was bad enough having him show her pictures of houses he was thinking of buying, knowing that he was only staying in the city because of his need to embrace the responsibilities of fatherhood. She was gradually getting used to the idea of having Cade as no more than a friend and co-parent in the future but it was too soon to think she could cope with him touching her and not have her heart break into even more pieces.
It was, however, time to tell people at work. Not that she’d have to scale back her time on duty or anything, but they’d need time to organise a locum to cover her maternity leave. When the extra pager Jo wore on duty buzzed to let her know a call was coming in for an air rescue that required a doctor on board, her first thought then was that she would have to give up the extra risk that this part of her job presented. Maybe she should step back now, in fact.
Even when she picked up the phone to learn that this was an MCI—a multiple casualty incident, with a crash involving a camper van and a group of cyclists in a gorge not far out of the city and that every resource the emergency services had was being mobilised, Jo was still on the point of telling them she would send someone else from the emergency department. But then she heard that there were children involved and she knew she had to go. This would be the last time. She wouldn’t put herself or the baby in any danger but she needed to be there. She needed to do whatever she could to help.
* * *
The road was unsealed. It was narrow enough to present a huge logistical challenge to get large emergency vehicles like a fire engine close enough to the scene to be able to do their job which, in this case, might involve getting steel cables attached to a camper van that had tipped over the side of the gulley road after trying—and failing—to avoid a collision with a group of cyclists as it rounded a downhill hairpin bend.
There was a family trapped in that camper van with only a rocky outcrop and a tree that was now on a sharp lean acting as an obstacle to it rolling further towards the bottom of the gully and the river, which wasn’t a huge distance but could potentially turn a minor injury into something life-threatening. Nobody could get near it until it was stabilised and there was a terrified family trapped inside. It had been Cade who’d scrambled down, at a safe distance, to try and assess the situation and the first impression was not great. A man was in the driving seat, his head tipped back and his eyes closed.
‘Hello...can anyone hear me?’
A woman’s face appeared around the unconscious driver’s body. There was a trickle of blood on her cheek from a cut on her forehead.
‘Me... I can hear you. Help...’ She gave a strangled sob. ‘I’m too scared to try and get out because I can feel the van move. And I think my foot’s stuck, anyway... Please...help...’
‘That’s what we’re here for, sweetheart. And don’t move for the moment. Stay as still as you can. My name’s Cade. What’s yours?’
‘Jules.’
‘Okay, Jules. I can’t get any closer just yet but we’re working on making it safe to get you all out as quickly as possible. I need you to tell me everything you can for the moment.’
He quickly discovered that the man in the driver’s seat was her husband. He was unconscious but breathing and did not appear to be bleeding heavily. Jules thought she might have broken her arm but she was more concerned about the three children who’d been riding in the back. She could just see her two children aged six and four and a toddler of eighteen months who were huddled in a mess of bedding against the back door, amongst the debris of items that had been dislodged as the van had rolled sideways and possibly glass from the smashed back window. With her foot trapped under bent metal, she was distressed that she couldn’t get to her children but Cade was actually happy to hear them crying loudly in the background because it meant that they were conscious and breathing.
‘Try not to panic, sweetheart,’ he told her. ‘Keep talking to the kids. Keep them as still as you possibly can. I’m going back up to the road to let everyone know what’s going on but I’ll be back very, very soon and then I’m going to stay with you until we get you out, okay?’
He needed to pass on all the information he’d gained to the scene commander from the fire service. He also needed to see what extra resources were needed and bring a kit back down with him. As soon as it was safe, he had to get close enough to the van driver to assess him properly and start treatment before they extricated him.
Geoff was working in the triage area that had been established to assess and treat the cyclists involved in the accident but, luckily, none of them seemed to be seriously injured. There was another ambulance arriving on scene already and he could see the helicopter he’d requested hovering as they came into their landing area, which had to be further up the road, far enough away to not be creating a problem with dust and stones being thrown up from the unsealed road.
For just a split second, Cade was taken back to the first day he’d met Jo, when she’d flown in with the helicopter crew to work with him in that icy river. That first, utterly captivating glimpse of the intelligence and passion he could see in her eyes was something Cade was never going to forget. Pushing the flash of memory aside came with a feeling of relief that those days were over for Jo. There was no way a pregnant woman would be allowed to jump into a helicopter to take part in any dangerous rescue missions. And thank goodness for that...
He skirted a pile of mangled bicycles.
‘Any change in the status of patients?’ he asked Geoff.
‘No. All status three and four, but most of them are going to need transport. We’ve got fractures, lacerations and one woman with neck pain and paraesthesia in her hands. We’re just getting her on a back board and into a collar. She’ll be the priority for transport.’
Cade nodded and kept going. He could see the fire chief directing the deployment of cables and other officers were setting up cutting gear that might be needed to access the interior of the camper van. Beyond the fire truck, he could see that the helicopter had landed and the crew were getting out and loading the equipment they needed onto a stretcher. At that distance, with their flight suits and helmets on, it was impossible to recognise anyone but...there was a smaller figure amongst them who seemed to be working with a determination and focus that sent a chill down Cade’s spine.
He shook it off. No... It couldn’t be...
By the time he’d rapidly relayed what information he had about the number of victims in the camper van, where they were and what condition they were in as far as he could tell, the helicopter crew had covered the distance between their landing point and when Cade turned his head again they were more than close enough to recognise someone he knew. Like Tom. And the woman walking beside him.
That chill that he’d felt moments ago was still there but it was becoming something very different as it spread. By the time he’d pulled in a breath it was a heat filling his chest that was a powerful mix of utter disbelief and...and anger...
Fury, even.
His eyes were narrowing as he took a step closer to Joanna Bishop. He lowered his voice, instinctively keeping what he was saying between only the two of them, but it had the effect of making his words even more vehement.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing here?’
CHAPTER TWELVE
THIS WAS A moment like no other.
Jo had never experienced a ‘sliding doors’ kind of moment when it was easy to recognise a decision that had changed the whole course of her life, but this was how she’d met Cade Cameron, wasn’t it? She’d climbed out of a helicopter and walked into his life and, by the time they’d worked together in that tense situation when it seemed likely that they’d have to amputate a young woman’s leg in order to save her life, she had known that this meeting was significant.
The flashback was instantaneous and took only a heartbeat of time. Jo could hear the engine noise of the helicopter diminishing behind her as it was shut down. She could hear the pneumatic gear from the fire service being set up and tested and the shouts of officers as they worked on getting the unstable vehicle safe to approach. She could see a pile of damaged bicycles and paramedics working with at least half a dozen people who were sitting or lying on blankets that had been laid on the ground.
That was where she needed to be and where she would be in a matter of seconds. What felt like an unfair attack from Cade wasn’t about to slow her down but, even as she kept walking, Jo was momentarily caught by that flashback. And she must have slowed a little because Tom was well ahead of her within a few steps. Or had Tom heard the outrage in Cade’s voice and sped up to avoid being caught in what was clearly a very personal exchange?
What felt like the opening salvo of a confrontation was the jarring note in what was almost a recreation of the first time they’d met, with Jo stepping out of a helicopter to walk into Cade’s professional arena. It wouldn’t be happening at all if she’d made a different choice the day they’d met and had gone through a different set of doors. She’d known that an invitation from Cade had been hanging there that day, just waiting for her to decide whether or not she wanted to accept it. She’d seen the admiration in his eyes. She’d known perfectly well that he was interested in more than an update on their patient when he’d written his phone number on her glove.
But this...this couldn’t be more different. There was nothing like admiration in his eyes right now. Cade was so angry with her. It looked as if she was the last person he wanted to see. That she couldn’t possibly do anything that could earn his approval, let alone his admiration. If he’d looked remotely like that the first time they’d met she would never have sent that text message to accept that invitation. They would never have got to ‘know each other’ so well, with all the emotional, and now physical, repercussions.
There were echoes there of the way Jo’s parents had looked at her all too often as she’d been growing up. Her father annoyed that he was being disturbed, with any approval or affection so closely guarded it was almost impossible to get within touching distance. Her mother disappointed, yet again, because she wasn’t behaving in an acceptable manner.
There was another layer over that too, with a flash of remembering the way Cade had pushed her away when they’d worked together at the scene of that horrific car crash when they’d had to fight to save the life of that young boy. Another sliding doors moment, perhaps, because she’d been quite prepared to walk away from any kind of relationship with Cade at that point? Until she’d learned that there was a very good reason why he’d been so upset.
And suddenly Jo knew exactly why he was reacting like this now. Because she was pregnant. With his child. It wasn’t that he cared that she might be putting herself in danger, was it? It was because there was something—someone—far more important at stake.
And, just as suddenly, Cade wasn’t the only person who was angry because maybe that was Jo’s only defence against having her heart broken that little bit more. Did he really think that she was about to put this precious baby she was carrying into danger? She was trusting him by letting him close enough to be the father he wanted to be to this child, but where was his trust? It made no difference that she’d known it would be wise to step back from this part of her job because of her pregnancy. Or maybe it did. Maybe she was feeling guilty that she’d followed her instincts of needing to help and she was angry with herself as well as Cade. Or maybe she was automatically tapping into the mode where she’d always had to fight for the things she wanted, or needed, for herself even when she knew she was losing the battle. When she simply wasn’t good enough...
Whatever...
‘I’m doing exactly the same thing here that you are, I expect,’ she snapped. ‘My job...’
Cade was still right beside Jo as she reached the treatment area for the cyclists, where Tom was standing in front of a whiteboard that was keeping track of patients, their status and their injuries, talking to a fire officer who was wearing a vest designating him as the scene commander. Cade stooped to pick up a paramedic kit from where equipment and supplies were being stored and then turned away to head to the edge of road where she could see the cluster of rescue personnel focused on what was happening below them.
‘Stay here,’ Cade ordered Jo. ‘Do not, under any circumstances, come anywhere near where we’re working on the camper van.’
He still looked furious as he slung the strap of the pack over one shoulder and strode away but Jo could feel her own anger dissipating into a fleeting acknowledgement of something else. Sadness that she was being ordered around like someone who’d failed to do what was expected of her? Or perhaps it was a poignancy that her baby had something she would never have herself, a person who loved her enough to do whatever it took to protect her?
Again, whatever...
This wasn’t the time to unpick any stray emotions. As she’d told Cade, Jo was here to do her job and that was the only thing she was going to focus on. There would, undoubtedly, be way too much time to think about any personal issues later.
