Sleigh Ride with the Single Dad, page 11
Possibly not. She had thought she’d found love but she’d always known the connection hadn’t been as fierce as the one she’d found with Charles that night.
‘It was just after that that I met Nina,’ he continued. There was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. ‘Even then, I thought, well...if you could get married and live happily ever after, I’d better make sure I didn’t get left behind.’
The silence was very poignant this time.
‘I’m sorry,’ Grace whispered. ‘Everybody knows how much you loved her. I’m so sorry you didn’t get your happily ever after.’
‘I got some wonderful memories. And two amazing children. You reminded me just how lucky I am, on your first day at work.’ Charles drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. ‘I hope you have things to feel lucky about, too.’
‘Of course I do.’
‘Like?’
Grace swallowed hard. She was leaning against that wall in her heart now, as if she needed support to stay upright.
But maybe she needed more than that. To hear someone agree that she was lucky?
‘I’m alive,’ she whispered.
She could feel his shock. Did he think she was making a reference to Nina? Grace closed her eyes. She hadn’t intended saying more but she couldn’t leave it like that.
‘I found a lump in my breast,’ she said slowly, into the silence. ‘I’d been married for about a year by then and Mike was keen to start a family. The lump turned out to be only a cyst but, because of my mother, they ran a lot of tests and one of them was for the genetic markers that let you know how much risk you have of getting ovarian or breast cancer. Mine was as high as it gets. And some people think that pregnancy can make that worse.’
‘So you decided not to have kids?’
Grace shook her head, glancing up. ‘No. I decided I’d have them as quickly as possible and then have a hysterectomy and mastectomy. Only...it didn’t work out that way because they found another lump and that one wasn’t a cyst. So...I decided to get the surgery and give up any dreams of having kids.’
She had to close her eyes again. ‘Mike couldn’t handle that. And he couldn’t handle the treatment—especially the chemo and living with someone who was sick all the time. And later, my scars were just a reminder of what I’d taken away from him. A mother for his children. A woman he could look at without being...’ her next word came out like a tiny sob ‘...disgusted...’
Maybe she had known how Charles would react.
Maybe she had wanted, more than anything, to feel his arms around her, like this.
To hear his voice, soft against her ear.
‘You’re gorgeous, Grace. There are no scars that could ever take that away.’
She could hear the steady thump of his heart and feel the solid comfort of the band of his arms around her.
‘You’re strong, too. I fought external things and I’m not sure that I did such a great job but you...you fought a battle that you could never step away from, even for a moment. And you won.’
Grace’s breath caught in a hitch. She had won. She would never forget any one of those steps towards hearing those magic words...
Cancer-free...
‘Your courage blows me away,’ Charles continued. ‘You not only got through that battle with the kind of obstacles that your jerk of a husband added but you took yourself off to work in places that are as tough as they get. You didn’t let it dent your sense of adventure or the amazing ability you have to care for others.’ His arms tightened around her. ‘You should be so proud of yourself. Don’t ever let anything that he said or did take any of that away from you.’
Grace had to look up. To make sure that his eyes were telling her the same thing that his words were. To see if what she was feeling right now was something real. That she could be proud of everything she’d been through. That she could, finally, dismiss the legacy that Mike’s rejection had engraved on her soul. That she was so much stronger now...
How amazing was this that Charles could make her feel as if she’d just taken the biggest step ever into a bright, new future?
That she’d found someone who made it possible to take the kind of risk that she’d never believed she would be strong enough to take again?
And maybe she had known what would happen when they fell into each other’s eyes again like this.
As the distance between them slowly disappeared and their lips touched.
That door in the wall in her heart had been so well hidden she hadn’t even realised she was leaning right against it until it fell open with their combined weight.
And the other side was a magic place where scars didn’t matter.
Where they could be touched by someone else. Kissed, even, and it wasn’t shameful. Or terrifying.
It was real. Raw. And heartbreakingly beautiful.
No. It wasn’t ‘someone else’ who could have done this.
It could only have been Charles.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE SOFT TRILL advertising an incoming text message on his phone woke Charles.
It could have been from anyone. One of his siblings, perhaps. Or a message from work to warn him that there was a situation requiring his input.
But he knew it was from Grace.
He just knew...
And, in that moment of knowing, there was a profound pleasure. Excitement, even. An instant pull back into the astonishing connection they had rediscovered last night that was still hovering at the edges of his consciousness as he reached sleepily for the phone on his bedside table.
Okay, he’d broken rule number one, not only by allowing female companionship to progress to this level but by allowing it to happen under his own roof and not keeping it totally separate from his home life—and his children.
And he’d broken an even bigger, albeit undefined, rule, by doing it with someone that he had a potentially important emotional connection to.
Had he been blindsided, because that connection had already been there and only waiting to be uncovered and that meant he hadn’t been able to make a conscious choice to back off before it was even a possibility?
Maybe his undoing had been the way her story had touched his heart. That someone as clever and warm and beautiful as Grace could have been made to believe that she didn’t deserve to be loved.
Whatever had pushed him past his boundaries, it had felt inevitable by the time he’d led Grace to his bed. And everything that had happened after that was a blurred mix of sensation and emotion that was overwhelming, even now.
Physically, it had been as astonishing as that first time. Exquisite. But there had been more to it this time. So much more. The gift of trust that she’d given him. The feeling that the dark place in his soul had been flooded with a light he’d never expected to experience again after Nina had died. Had never wanted to experience again because he knew what it was like when it got turned off?
It was early, with only the faintest suggestion of the approaching day between the gap of curtains that had been hastily pulled. Grace would be at work already, though. Her early shift had been the reason she hadn’t stayed all night and Charles hadn’t tried to persuade her. The twins might be far too young to read anything into finding Grace and Horse in their apartment first thing in the morning but what if they dropped an innocent bombshell in front of their grandparents, for instance, during the family’s Thanksgiving dinner tonight?
He wasn’t ready to share any of this.
It was too new—this feeling of an intimate connection, when you could get a burst of pleasure from even the prospect of communication via text.
He wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about it himself yet, so he certainly didn’t want the opinions of anyone else—like his parents or his siblings. This was very private.
There was only one other person on the planet who could share this.
Can’t believe I left without doing the dishes again. I owe you one. xx
For a moment Charles let his head sink into his pillow again, a smile spreading over his face. He loved Grace’s humour. And how powerful two little letters could be at the end of a message. Not one kiss, but two...
Powerful letters.
Even more powerful feelings.
They reminded him of the heady days of falling in love with Nina, when they couldn’t bear to be apart. When they were the only two people in the world that mattered.
Was that what was happening here?
Was he falling in love with Grace?
His smile faded. The swirling potentially humorous responses to her text message vanished. He’d known that he would never fall in love again. He’d known that from the moment Nina’s life had ebbed away that terrible day and he hadn’t given it a second thought since. That part of his life had simply been dismissed as he’d coped with what had been important. His babies. And his work.
It had been a very long time before his body reminded him that there were other needs that could be deemed of importance. That was when rule number one had been considered and then put into place.
And he’d broken it.
Without giving any thought to any implications.
The jarring sound of his phone starting to ring cut through the heavy thoughts pressing down and suffocating the pleasure of any memories of last night. His heart skipped a beat with what felt like alarm as he glanced at the screen.
But it wasn’t Grace calling. It was his mother.
At this time of the day?
‘Mom...what’s up? Is everything all right?’
‘Maybe you can tell me, Charles. Who is she?’
‘Sorry?’
‘I’m reading the New York Post. Page six...’
Of course she was. Anyone who was anyone in New York turned to page six first, either to read about someone they knew or about themselves. It was a prime example of the gossip columns that Charles hated above everything else. The kind that had almost destroyed his family once as people fed on every juicy detail that the Davenport scandal had offered. The kind that had made getting through the tragedy of losing his wife just that much harder as the details of their fairy-tale romance and wedding were pored over again. The kind that had made him keep his own life as private as possible ever since in his determination to protect his sons.
‘Why now?’ Vanessa continued. ‘Really, Charles. We could do without another airing of the family’s dirty laundry. Especially today, with it being Thanksgiving.’
He was out of bed now, clad only in his pyjama pants as he headed into the living area. His laptop was on the dining table, already open. It took only a couple of clicks to find what his mother was referring to.
The photograph was a shock. How on earth had a journalist got hold of it when it had been taken only yesterday—on Grace’s phone?
But there it was. The boys on their bikes on either side of Houston. Himself with his arm slung over Grace’s shoulders. And they were all grinning like the archetypal happy family.
His brain was working overtime. Had that friendly stranger actually been a journalist? Or had Grace shared the photograph on social media? No... But she had shared it with Stefan and Jerome and they had many friends who were the kind of celebrities that often graced page six. Easy pickings for anyone who contributed to this gossip column, thanks to a thoughtless moment on his behalf.
‘She’s a friend, Mom. Someone I went to med school with, who happens to be living downstairs at the moment. Dog-sitting.’
‘That’s not what’s getting assumed.’
‘Of course it isn’t. Why do you even read this stuff?’
He scanned the headline.
Who is the mystery woman in Charles Davenport’s life?
‘And why are they raking over old news? It’s too much. Really, Charles. Can’t you be more careful?’
Speed-reading was a skill he had mastered a long time ago.
It’s been a while since we caught up with the New York Davenports. Who could forget the scandal of the love child that almost blew this famous family apart? Where is she now, you might be asking? Where are any of them, in fact?
Moving on with their lives, apparently. Dr Charles Davenport is retired, with his notoriously private firstborn son taking over as chief of the ER at Manhattan Mercy in the manner of the best dynasties. He’s become something of a recluse since the tragic death of his wife but it looks as though he’s finally moving on. And isn’t it a treat to get a peek at his adorable twin sons?
We see his own twin brother Elijah more than any of the family members, with his penchant for attending every important party, and with a different woman on his arm every time. Their sister Penelope is a celebrated daredevil and the youngest brother, Zachary, is reportedly returning to the family fold very soon, in more ways than one. He has resigned from the Navy and will be adding his medical skills to the Davenport team at Manhattan Mercy. Watch this space for more news later.
And the love child, Miranda? Well...she’s so much a part of the family now she’s also a doctor and it’s no surprise that she’s working in exactly the same place.
Are the New York Davenports an example of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger? Or is it just window dressing...?
Charles stopped reading as the article went on to focus on Vanessa Davenport’s recent philanthropic endeavours. His mother was still talking—about a fundraising luncheon she was supposed to be attending in a matter of hours.
‘How can I go? There’ll be reporters everywhere and intrusive questions. But, if I don’t go, it’ll just fuel speculation. Everybody will be talking about it.’
‘Just ignore it,’ Charles advised. ‘Keep your head high, smile and say “No comment”. It’ll die down. It always does.’
He could hear the weary sigh on the other end of the line.
‘I’m so sick of it. We’ve all been through enough. Haven’t we?’
‘Mmm.’ Charles rubbed his forehead with his fingers. ‘I have to go, Mom. The boys are waking up and we need to get ready. It’s the Macy’s Thanksgiving parade today and we’ll have to get there early to find a good place to watch. I’ll see you tonight.’
* * *
It should have been such a happy day.
Some of Charles’s earliest memories were of the sheer wonder of this famous parade. Of being in a privileged viewing position with his siblings, bundled up against the cold, jumping up and down with the amazement of every new sight and adding his own contribution to the cacophony of sound—the music and cheers and squeals of excitement—that built and built until the finale they were all waiting for when Santa Claus in his sleigh being pulled by reindeer with spectacular gilded antlers would let them know that the excitement wasn’t over. Christmas was coming...
This was the first year that Cameron and Max were old enough to appreciate the spectacle and not be frightened by the crowds and noise. They were well bundled up in their coats and mittens and hats and their little faces were shining with excitement. They found a spot on Central Park West, not far from one of their favourite playgrounds, and Charles held a twin on each hip, giving them a clear view over the older children in front of them.
The towering balloons sailed past. Superman and Spiderman and Muppets and Disney characters. There was a brass band with its members dressed like tin soldiers and people on stilts that looked like enormous candy canes with their striped costumes and the handles on their tall hats. There were clowns and jugglers and dancers and they kept coming. Charles’s arms began to ache with the weight of the twins and their joyous wriggling.
He wasn’t going to put them down. This was his job. Supporting his boys. Protecting them. And he could cope. The three of them would always cope. The happiness that today should have provided was clouded for Charles, though. He could feel an echo that reminded him of his mother’s heavy sigh earlier this morning.
That it was starting again. The media interest that could become like a searchlight, illuminating so many things that were best left in the shade now. Things that were nobody else’s business. Putting them out there for others to speculate on only made things so much harder to deal with.
He could still feel the pain of photographs that had been put on public display in the aftermath of the family scandal breaking. Of the snippets of gossip, whether true or not, that had been raked over. The fresh wave of interest in the days after Nina’s death had been even worse as he’d struggled to deal with his own grief. Seeing that photograph that had been taken at their engagement party, with Nina looking so stunning in her white designer gown, proudly showing off the famed Davenport, pink diamond ring, had been like a kick in the guts.
What if that photograph surfaced again now, with gossip mills cranking up at the notion that he’d found a new partner? Grace was nothing like Nina, who’d been part of the kind of society he’d grown up in. Nina had been well used to being in the public eye. Grace was someone who kept herself in the background, working as part of a team in her job where the centre stage was always taken by the person needing her help.
Or making two small boys happy by baking cookies and trashing his kitchen...
She would be appalled at any media interest. She’d as much as told him how she wouldn’t be able to cope.
‘I can’t imagine what it must have been like. Life can be difficult enough without having your privacy invaded like that. I couldn’t think of anything worse...’
The cloud settled even more heavily over Charles as the real implications hit him.
He knew her story now. That she had been broken by the reaction of the man who had been her husband to the battle she’d had to fight. That she’d actually hidden herself from the world to come to terms with being made to feel less than loveable. Ugly, even...
