Magic by Any Other Name, page 13
“It’s normal to want to trust our parents,” he said, quoting from a book he’d read recently, “even when past experience tells us not to.”
Georgette smiled, her expression appreciative but doubtful. She flicked the dead seedling into the trash.
“I filled out all the program applications,” she went on, picking another seed from the bag, “got accepted, and started making travel plans.” Gently patting the seed in her palm, she began spinning another spell. “Then I called Mom about the money.”
“She wouldn’t give it to you.”
Georgette shook her head. Before the sunflower seed cracked open, she dropped it back into the bag. “She said if she loaned me the money for the summer program, she wouldn’t be able to help me with a down payment on a house someday.” As she talked, anxiety crept back into her voice. “When I told her I was already signed up, she laughed like I’d said something cute and changed the subject.”
“Had she ever mentioned helping you buy a house?” he asked.
“Never before,” replied Georgette, “and never again.”
As he poured the refill bag of buckthorn bark, enjoying the subtle, woody aroma, Nico tried and failed to imagine his own mother giving him such an excuse.
“What happened with the summer program?” he asked.
“By then it was too late to apply for a loan, and I was contractually on the hook for the cost of the program even if I backed out. I couldn’t stop crying. I was still crying when Aunt Laurel called for our weekly chat. When I told her what happened, she got me the money.” Georgette exhaled with remembered relief. “I usually spent my summers traveling with her and my cousin Poppy, so she gave me the money she would have spent on my plane tickets and expenses. That, combined with my personal savings, covered the cost.” She chuckled quietly but her expression was humorless. “When I asked my mother why she didn’t tell me sooner that she’d changed her mind, she said she didn’t know what I was talking about.” Georgette’s blue eyes, magnified by her glasses, looked to Nico, full of pleading. “Was she lying?”
Her childlike desperation for answers tugged at his heart. Keeping his face impassive, he said, “You know the answer to that.”
She looked down at the floor again, a fog of doubt surrounding her.
Nico put the buckthorn bark away and picked up a different container, giving her time to think, before saying, “You don’t need my confirmation to know what’s true. The reason you think you do is because your mother has been gaslighting you all your life.”
“Gaslighting?” Georgette squinted at him.
“Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse,” he explained, “that involves making someone question their sanity, perception, or memory by using lies or misdirection to rewrite past events.”
Georgette bore an expression halfway between horror and amazement. Before he could decide what to say, she exhaled in a whisper, “It actually has a name? Oh my God.” One hand covered her mouth as she teared up. “I thought I was crazy.”
“You’re not,” he said firmly. “You can trust yourself. These dreams you’re having make sense. I think your subconscious is confronting you with memories because now that you’re away from your mother, you can finally see how these things really happened—experience them without her coloring your perception. You know what you saw, you know what you heard, you don’t need anyone to confirm it. The dreams may be traumatic, but they serve an important purpose: they’re helping you heal.”
“Doesn’t feel like it,” Georgette said softly.
“You say you’re not changing yourself as much as your aunt told you to, but I disagree. You are undoing a life’s worth of emotional turmoil. That’s hard work. Don’t sell yourself short.”
“Maybe,” she said, sounding unconvinced, “but Aunt Olive said I need to live as free of attachments as possible. I have Mei-Xing and Ishak, I’ve got a job at Nocturne, I’ve got these meetings with you, and I’ve got Neil.”
Despite her obvious anxiety, Nico noticed how Georgette smiled when she mentioned Neil. Other names came and went in their conversations, but only Neil’s made her so obviously happy.
“How are things with Neil?” he asked.
“Really good.” She looked at him with sparkling eyes. “Spending time with him is refreshing.”
“Refreshing?” he asked. “Why’s that?”
“Neil’s nothing like my ex-fiance Zach,” she said. “He’s sweet, thoughtful, always asks for my opinion … Zach never wanted to hear my thoughts on anything. We were only together because my mother had made a deal with his family.”
Arranged marriage? Nico wondered. His aunt had told him that brujas hereditarias often saw themselves as the royalty of the magic world. Maybe arranged marriages were a part of that culture. “Was it typical for her to do that?”
“Oh yeah. She’s picked out boyfriends and husbands for my older sisters too.”
“They didn’t have a problem with that?”
“Clove did,” said Georgette. “She brutally rejected the guy Mom pushed on her when she was sixteen. Said he was fat, ugly, and miles beneath her. Mom was pissed. The guy was from a wealthy, influential family and Clove ruined Mom’s chances to connect our family with theirs. After that, she wouldn’t let Clove date for years.”
Damn, Nico thought in amazement. “And your other sisters?”
“Mom lets Lily pick her own men but only because Lily’s already good at catching rich guys.” Georgette rolled her eyes. “She’s been the mistress of a married banker for over a year. And Holly never argued with Mom about David. Not a surprise, honestly.” A joyless smile crossed her face. “Holly’s kind of … docile. They got married five years ago when Holly got pregnant.”
“Unplanned pregnancy?”
“Pretty sure the baby was planned.”
“Really?” he said in surprise. “They didn’t want to get married first?”
“Oh, I mean planned by Mom,” Georgette told him. “Mom told Holly when to start having sex with David and when to stop using birth control. Holly’s lucky, though,” she added quickly. “David’s a good guy. He cares about her, and he loves their daughter.”
Holy shit.
Ordering her daughters to sleep with men they didn’t choose for themselves … it turned Nico’s stomach. It must screw the hell out of their concept of consent. The worrying thought came to him that Georgette had jumped into a sexual relationship with Neil very quickly. Had she slept with him because it was what she wanted or because it was what she thought he would want? With her upbringing, was she even capable of seeing the difference?
“How long did you and your fiancé know each other before your Mom told you to get involved?”
“We didn’t. We met on our first date, which Mom set up. She told me to date him, so I did. For years. Then Mom announced our engagement to all her friends and Dad’s associates at the family’s Fourth of July party.” She puffed a breath through tight lips, shaking her head. “I had no idea it was coming. I was alone in the middle of the applauding crowd with my mouth hanging open. In front of everyone, Zach gave my mom diamond earrings, gave my dad a box of Cuban cigars, and didn’t even give me a look. I tried talking to Mom, but she was busy accepting congratulations. I grabbed my dad as he was leaving the party, but he just told me to mind my mother. Zach avoided me. He and I never really talked again.”
“Wow,” Nico mumbled. The vessel he’d taken off the shelf sat on the counter before him, its refill bag unopened beside it. “You’ve been through so much. You’re strong.”
Her freckled cheeks flushed and she looked away. “Olive said that to me,” she told him. “She said that because I’m the only one of my sisters to run away, I’m the strongest.”
“Believe her,” he urged. “Believe in your strength. It’s brought you this far and it will keep taking you forward.” He smiled with all the encouragement he could muster. “You’re doing well. You really are.”
For a moment, he saw a glimmer of true confidence on her features. It filled him with professional pride.
27
Neil
AFTER COMPOSING AN EMAIL TO ONE OF LI INTERNATIONAL’S clients, Neil noticed that the office was almost empty. Mr. Li wasn’t in; he was on a flight to Shanghai. Taylor, Mr. Li’s secretary, was still at her desk but she was on her cell phone, chatting casually and looking at her computer screen. Neil guessed that she was using office hours to shop for her upcoming wedding again.
The rest of the employees had cleared out hours ago. That wasn’t surprising. When Mr. Li left for the airport that morning, Neil had known his son, Jin Li, would be gone by lunch. The other employees, knowing Jin wouldn’t be back, had left soon after. Neil would have taken off too if he didn’t have work to finish. But once he wrapped up these last few emails, he could go. Then he would turn his full attention to the more interesting issue of how to schedule time with Georgette.
Neil worked full time five days a week at this job and dedicated most of his off-duty time to getting his MBA. Georgette worked six nights a week—including weekends, when Neil was off—at her new job. Each was often sleeping while the other was working, which made seeing each other difficult. They often managed to meet for early dinners in the short time between Neil getting off his job and Georgette starting hers—Mr. Li wasn’t picky about Neil’s work hours, so long as he put in a full day and kept making sales—but those dinners were too brief for Neil’s liking. Today, though—today was Monday, the one day of the week Georgette was off, and he was counting down the minutes until he could leave work and spend time with her. He was determined to make the most of the night.
I deal with scheduling issues all the time, he reminded himself. Plenty of couples overcome bigger hurdles than this. He silently grinned, realizing that he already thought of them as a couple. It’ll definitely work.
His last email sent, Neil shut down his computer and leaned back in his seat with a long exhale. He checked his watch: 3:30 p.m. Georgette would be getting up soon. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the computer screen. He was smiling like an idiot. He didn’t care. He hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Not since before he caught Lyndsey messing around.
Lyndsey. Since their breakup, just hearing her name had been enough to send him spinning into self-pity. But not since he met Georgette. Suddenly, he didn’t give a damn about Lyndsey.
“I’m heading out,” he called to Taylor.
Taylor waved one hand without skipping a beat on the phone. As Neil exited the office, he heard her asking, in a voice that reminded him of his ex, “Should I hire a professional calligrapher for the place cards? It’s expensive but so pretty!”
I can’t imagine Georgette wanting something like that, he thought happily.
Headed up the street, he called her number. The phone rang twice and then cut to voicemail. He was about to leave a message when he got a text from her.
Five minutes, it read.
He reached the bus stop at the same time she called. “Hey,” he said, leaning against the bus stop sign. “I wasn’t sure you’d be up yet.”
“I’ve been up for over an hour,” she said. She sounded tired, as she often did, but even so hearing her voice was like listening to a favorite song. “I’m running errands.”
“When will you be done?”
“Soon. I just have to stop by the Botanica.”
“The Botanica?”
“It won’t take long. I’ll meet you later, okay?”
“Yeah, fine,” he said, the smile gone from his face. “See you soon.”
The Botanica? His heart sank into his gut. She sure seemed to go there a lot. He knew her boss was a regular customer, so maybe she was there on business. But this was her day off.
No, he thought, his inner voice full of resentment, she’s going to see Nico.
The bus arrived and he boarded, lost in thought. Unwelcome images of Georgette and Nico together swarmed his brain. Flopping down in a window seat, he tried to shake it off. Even though he wasn’t certified yet, Nico was a therapist through and through: he felt driven to help people who were suffering. Georgette is seeing Nico because his counseling makes her feel better, Neil told himself.
A feeling came over him—wormy, rotten, sticky. Nico makes her feel better. Not me. Flinching, he tried to bury the feeling deep. She’s not cheating, he scolded himself. This isn’t like how Lyndsey lied for months about that guy being her “tutor.” Both Georgette and Nico were completely open about the time they spent together. What they weren’t open about was the subject of their therapy sessions.
I know we don’t get to pick our families, he thought. So why won’t she talk to me about it?
Staring vacantly out the bus window at the flowing river of city blocks, he reviewed all the things he knew about her family. Georgette was the fourth of seven sisters, only a couple of which she got along with. Their father was a bigshot in an aerospace and defense corporation and he traveled frequently. Georgette spoke fondly of the “sober summers” she spent traveling with her Aunt Laurel and the elder of her two cousins. Their relationship reminded Neil of his bond with his nephew, except he liked to think Danny would never describe him as a “seasonal alcoholic.”
As Neil gradually put together the puzzle that was the woman in his life, one gap remained: her mother. Neil knew Georgette’s mother was the reason she had cut ties with her family, but whenever he so much as mentioned it she got flustered and shut down. He sighed. If the abuse was half as bad as Nico had implied, he couldn’t blame Georgette for having so much baggage around it. He just wanted her to talk to him about it.
Why am I already so attached? he asked himself. But the truth was, he couldn’t seem to help himself. Just the thought of her thrilled him. He wanted all of her—the good, the bad, everything. And knowing that she was reserving some part of herself for someone else tore him up.
Neil’s gut twisted and his chest tightened as a maelstrom of emotions roiled inside. Jealous, possessive, brooding—he didn’t like himself like this. With great effort, he hauled his mind out of his emotional mire and swung it toward the subject of tonight. He would meet Georgette at the restaurant, they would eat and talk, and then see where the night took them.
At that thought a smile, albeit a small one, turned up the corners of his mouth.
28
Mei-Xing
MEI-XING GLANCED AT GEORGETTE AS THEY WALKED UP the street, watching how she spoke cheerfully into her phone, smiling brightly. It was a smile she saw on her friend often lately.
In the two weeks since they’d met, Georgette had spent a ridiculous amount of time talking to Neil MacCana on the phone. When she woke in the afternoon, she immediately checked her phone for texts. And they were always there, just waiting to make her smile.
Mei-Xing had never seen Georgette so happy. It worried her.
Georgette was not a trusting woman; within the Nichols O’Reilly family, trust was only ever rewarded with betrayal. For her to have taken to this Neil guy so quickly meant that he was either a very good man or a very convincing fraud. Not having met him, Mei-Xing couldn’t say which—but she feared the worst.
Neil’s roommate, the curandero, also concerned her. Right now, they were on their way to get spell ingredients from the Botanica. While there, Georgette would talk to Nico. Again. Twice this week she had visited the shop, and both times she had returned to their hotel room in good spirits. Mei-Xing wanted to believe that the curandero was being helpful out of the goodness of his heart—but in her experience, it was not a common motive. A combination of curiosity and a desire to protect her friend was what had driven her to tag along to the herb shop now.
Despite her worries, Mei-Xing was enjoying this outing. With Georgette working nights at Nocturne, sleeping during the day, and spending her free time with Neil, she often found herself alone these days—and she was unused to loneliness. She’d spent the majority of her life as part of a grove, and since leaving China she’d always had Georgette at her side. Distracted though her friend was at the moment, the Nymph was glad to have this time with her.
It was late afternoon as they approached the Botanica. Mei-Xing glanced at the sun sinking between the buildings and reflected that Ishak would probably be winding down his daily patrol about now. Ever since the branding, he’d spent all day every day walking the city streets and loitering near KK Inc., using his heightened senses to keep its employees under surveillance. With new clothes on his human form, he was free to explore areas he hadn’t been able to access as a hyena. He had not yet been able to determine where the off-site storage facilities were, but he was confident that his wife had not been sold; he smelled the familiars coming in and out of the building, and he said he was sure Kalilah had not been among them thus far.
Georgette ended the call and dropped the phone into her bag just as they reached the Botanica’s door. She pushed forward, and Mei-Xing followed her across the threshold.
A bell chimed, followed immediately by a woman’s voice saying, “Welcome! How can I help you today?”
“Hello, Ms. García,” Georgette said.
“Oh, Nico’s amiga bruja!” said the middle-aged lady, her smile the very picture of congeniality. “So nice to see you again! Just a moment.” She disappeared behind a beaded curtain, calling out, “Nico!”
The aroma of incense and herbs washed over Mei-Xing as she drifted deeper into the shop. She flinched at the intensity of the scents; it made her uncomfortable to smell so many plantbased scents at once. These plants did not all grow together in the wild. It was unnatural.
“Hey,” said a man’s voice, drawing her attention. “How’re you doing?”
“Hey Nico,” Georgette said.
Peering through a display of bottled oils, Mei-Xing inspected the young man behind the counter. Stocky, with messy dark hair and bright, sharp eyes, he gave her the impression of a man who cared more for his studies than he did for his looks.
