Better Hide (The Run and Hide Duet Book 2), page 13
“Jayden,” Cole says with a note of warning in his tone.
I glare up at Jayden. I hate him. I hate him and his bossy, asshole self. I snarl, “Sure, big man. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself.”
Jayden leans down so fast I think we’re going to knock heads. “You think I won’t fuck you right here to teach you a little respect?”
No one talks to me like that, and I see red. “You’ll clearly fuck me anywhere and in front of anyone just to prove a point. Well, guess what? You’re a selfish asshole who only cares about himself.”
Jayden’s eyes flash a second before his hand is around my throat again.
“Jayden!” Cole barks. “Get the fuck over here and help me.”
Jayden glares at me for a second longer before glancing at Cole, who is gripping Ralph by the back of the neck. Jayden looks back at me, giving me a long look. “Don’t fucking move. You hear me? You’ll stay right there.”
I narrow my eyes at him.
Jayden smirks meanly, then gets up.
Ralph backs up, hands in the air, trying to escape from Cole and get out of the room.
“I don’t know what the problem is. I’ll give you guys anything you want,” Ralph sputters.
Jayden stalks over to the bedside and grabs a laptop there. “Couch,” he demands.
Cole shoves Ralph to the couch. Right in front of me.
Yeah, fuck this. I stand, but before I can walk out of the room, Jayden has thrown the laptop down and is gripping me by the hair. Immediately, I turn to fight him. I kick as hard as I can, making contact with his leg, but he doesn’t even flinch.
“Let me go, motherfucker.” I whirl to claw at Jayden’s face, and he simply stiff-arms me away from him. He grabs a decorative bowl of flowers with a gravel base off the coffee table and throws it on the floor. Tiny rocks skitter all over the floor.
“Knees, Jo.”
“Fuck you!”
“It’ll hurt less if you do it yourself,” Jayden warns.
I glance at the small rocks. Jayden has a strong grip on my hair, causing tears to rush to my eyes. I struggle again, and Jayden yanks on my hair so hard that I yelp. Then he shoves me to the ground.
A rock digs into my right knee, shooting pain through me. I suck in a breath and struggle to get off it, but Jayden leans into me. “No. Take your punishment for being such a fucking whore.”
I hiss. The rock hurts, and it’s digging into my skin. I try to put all my weight on my left knee.
“Now.” Jayden glances up at Ralph, who is watching us with huge eyes. “Where were we?”
Ralph trembles.
“Oh, that’s right. You were going to be a good samaritan and help your brother in need.”
Jayden leans into me, forcing more pressure on my knee, and I growl. Cole throws Jayden a harsh look, and Jayden doesn’t respond.
My knee throbs, but it doesn’t take away from my anger. Jayden is barking orders at Ralph, who gets on the computer. I can’t believe I even thought about trying to get close to this monster.
My heart pounds. Jayden leans down, whispering in my ear, “Oh, kitten. Your face is all red. Did you think you could just do anything now that you’ve cozied up to Cole?” He grabs a handful of my hair and yanks my head back. “Tsk, tsk. Silly girl. Silly, vulnerable kitten. You know what I love best?” He leans into my face. “Breaking girls who don’t know how to stop fighting.”
Hatred flashes through me. Why the hell does he have to be so horrible? I blame his harsh grip on my hair for the tears that are pricking my eyes.
I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. How could I have let my guard down?
“Jayden, enough.” Cole’s voice sounds harsh.
Jayden lets go of my hair, and I face forward, overwhelmed by a rush of anger, shame, and loneliness. Horrifyingly, I want to cry.
Oh fuck. I can’t cry. I can’t do that. My knee throbs, and I lean into it. The pain overwhelms the need to cry just a little.
I’ll never be seen here. All I’m wanted for is something to break, and I’ve been weak to think there could be something else.
The rest of what Jayden does goes by in a blur. At some point, Cole comes over and asks softly if I’m okay. I just nod blankly. He frowns and gets in my face. “Jo,” Cole says in a warning tone.
I can’t look at him. His searching gaze scares the hell out of me. I lean into the bite of pain in my knee. It keeps me grounded.
“I’m gonna kill him,” Cole mutters. He pushes me gently, lifting my knee off the rock. Suddenly, panic runs through me. I need that! Oh fuck, don’t take that from me. I scramble to get it, but Cole leans into me. “You don’t have to sit here, little one. Let us take care of this. Go get a glass of water. I’ll be right there.”
I blink, and my vision is foggy. Oh fuck. I might actually cry after all that effort not to. My face burns, and I scramble to my feet. Jayden is hovering over Ralph, who’s working on the computer, but Jayden’s gaze darts to mine.
“Don’t even think about it,” Cole snaps.
I just need to get anywhere but here. I snatch the keys and my stuff and dart out of the room. I blindly search the house until I find the garage.
And there’s our car. I fumble with the keys until I get it unlocked and sit inside, panting.
I was stupid. This will never work. I was being stupid.
Unwanted feelings overwhelm me. I’ve never been wanted. Not by my parents, not by Kyle, and clearly not by them.
Well, maybe by Cole, but he’s a package deal with Jayden.
My hands tremble. I hate feeling things. I hate being out of control. I need it to stop. I need it to stop so I can think about what to do next.
My eyes drop to the knife I brought with me, and suddenly, all I want to do is feel the bite of the blade across my skin. To feel the relief.
This is the only thing that can help me.
I grab the blade and put the cool metal against my wrist. My hands are shaking. Not because I’m afraid of the cut, but because everything is so stopped up inside me. I just need it out. I need it out.
Carefully, I drag the blade along my skin. The burn of the slice runs through me, and immediately, I feel relief. It feels good. It feels like when I’d pick fights with my dad and would leave bloody. It feels like relief.
Why the hell haven’t I done this sooner? I let my head sag back against the seat.
I just need a minute. A minute to feel nothing but the bite of the blade. Then, I’ll figure out what to do next.
33
JAYDEN
I can’t stop.
I can’t stop the rage. The anger. The blind wrath. I’m not even sure what I’m mad about anymore, but I can’t stop.
Cole let Jo walk out of here before I was done with her. Instead of chasing her, I lean into Ralph’s face. “Where’s your porn, hmmm? Delete your history? Go onto the dark web?”
Ralph shakes. We’ve been watching the account that I’m having him transfer his Bitcoin into. I made him damn near empty his accounts to make sure we have enough, plus a little extra to set us up for where we’re going. I want a nice little home where I can lock Jo up until her resistance fucking whithers away.
Jesus Christ, it’s taking a while.
“Here, let me check on something.” Cole grabs the computer.
“Where’d Jo go?” I snap.
“She’s cooling down, give her a minute.” Cole taps on the keyboard.
I don’t want to give her a fucking minute. I don’t want to give her anything! I had her where I wanted her. I saw it in her eyes, and Cole ruined it.
I broke her. I fucking broke her.
Cole already gave her a leg up by dismissing her from the room, but I’ll break that down quickly. Once I ensure we have the money to spirit her away, I’ll teach her to obey.
My hands shake with impatience. I whirl on Ralph. “Give me your fucking phone.”
Ralph shakes as he hands it over. Rage courses through my veins. I go through it, trying to find something, anything to settle me. I can’t find any porn searches. I even check Reddit, WhatsApp, and Snapchat. Nothing.
I growl in frustration, then search a folder he has labeled “Extras.” Kik is in there, and I open it with glee.
Oh, this stupid motherfucker.
As I go through the messages, I find nothing but dick pic after dick pic. All adults. With nasty messages back and forth.
Ralph is sitting still, staring straight ahead. I shove the phone in his face. “What the hell is this?”
Ralph takes a second to focus on what I’m showing him and swallows.
“Well?” I grip Ralph's hair and yank his head back.
“That’s…nothing.”
I bark out a laugh. “Really? Cause it looks like a whole lot of dick to me.”
Ralph starts shaking again. “Please…it was a mistake. Just don’t tell Marian.”
I toss the phone down in disgust. Ralph is boring me. Just like Sage bored me. He’s frozen. Not fighting me, not running, just frozen.
I’ve broken him. And all it took was a punch to the face.
It should mean everything, but the victory is empty. Hollow. His submission is not what I want. I want Jo’s. In fact, I need it more than my next breath.
I snap to my feet.
“Please,” Ralph pleads. “She doesn’t know.”
What a puke. I whirl and land a punch on Ralph’s face. “Where is the kiddie porn?”
“What?” Ralph wails. “What are you talking about? If you want it, I don’t have it.”
“I don’t want your fucking filth.” Rage courses through me, and I don’t think before I throw another punch. “Did you touch Sam?”
“Sam?” Ralph screeches.
I go for another hit.
“Wait!” He screams. “I don’t know what you’re talking about! Marian wanted to adopt Sam, and I said go ahead. It…looks good, you know? A happy family. Please, I’m just running a business.”
I stare at him.
Ralph sobs. “Please don’t hurt me.”
“Why were you friends with Pat?”
Ralph sobs harder.
I lean down by his ear and chuckle as he flinches away. “Why?”
“We fucked, okay! We fucked.” Ralph cries fully now.
I freeze. That’s not the answer I expected.
Cole chuckles. “Does that make us Eskimo brothers?”
I snap a nasty glare at Cole, and he throws up his hands. “We’ve got it.” He shows me the computer screen, flipping to my wallet. The Bitcoin is showing live.
I turn on Ralph. A look of relief covers his teary face. “It worked!”
Suddenly, I have no more use for Ralph.
“You’re not going to say anything, are you?” I grab a decorative pillow.
Ralph gives a giddy laugh. “Never! I’d never. This stays between us. Thank you, thank you.”
“You’re right, it does.” I grab Ralph and shove him so his back hits the couch.
“What?” His eyes widen, but not in time.
I drop the pillow over Ralph’s face and put all my weight into it, dropping my knees on Ralph’s chest to push all the air out of him.
Ralph screams and panics, flailing his arms and legs. He gets a good hit in, which only pisses me off further. I lean my entire weight into him.
“Jesus, Jay,” Cole mutters.
“You want to run the risk he runs to the cops?”
“Course not,” Cole scoffs. “But try not to look so crazy, will you? This is just business.”
I snort. Like fuck it’s just business.
But part of me hates myself. I’m reacting. I never react. I think through everything. But I can’t stop. I can’t fucking stop.
Ralph puts up a good fight, but I’m too big. When he stops moving, I continue sitting on him for a while to ensure he never draws another breath.
“Where the hell is Jo?” I snap.
“She’s taking a breather!” Cole snaps right back. “You went too hard on her, Jayden. Even I’m fed up with you.”
“Too hard? I almost had her!” I curl my fingers into the pillow.
“You’ve never been further from having her, Jayden.” Cole’s voice is full of disgust, and he looks down at me. “I don’t know if she’ll forgive you for any of this! I’m starting to not recognize you anymore.” He steps into my face. “And, in fact, you’re starting to act a lot like Pat.”
The words hit me straight in the gut. My world grinds to a halt.
Cole shakes his head and stalks away.
He thinks I’m acting like Pat?
I’m not. I’m not acting like him.
Suddenly, I’m more angry than I’ve been all morning. This anger burns through me with betrayal.
How dare he? How fucking dare he?
I jump off Ralph’s body and stalk after him. “Don’t fucking walk away from me.”
Cole ignores me and slams the bathroom door shut.
I pause, frozen between beating down the door and chasing after Jo.
Frozen.
Again.
Fucking hell! I rip myself away and stalk to the bedroom. I saw Jo grabbing something from here before she left, and I confirm my fears.
She took the keys.
A slow grin curls up my face. Oh, she’ll pay for this.
34
JO
Peace. Safety.
Pain.
I’ve cut two more times into my left wrist, sinking further into the escape each time. I almost don’t hear the garage door open.
But I do, and when my eyes pop open, I see Jayden storming toward me.
Panic floods me, and I scramble for the lock button. I hit it right as Jayden reaches the door. He slams into the car and rattles the handle.
“Jo.” Jayden’s voice is slightly muffled, and he has a manic grin on his face.
My heart is still pounding.
“Jo, open the door,” Jayden singsongs.
I laugh a little to myself. Fucking hell. And now he’s ruined what little peace I found. I try to close my eyes again.
“Jo!” A hint of alarm fills Jayden’s voice. “Fuck. Blood.” Jayden aggressively yanks at the door handle.
I glance around, then realize what he means. Oh shit. My wrist. I hide my arm to my chest. “It’s fine.”
“Either you unlock this door,” Jayden growls. “Or I’ll break the window in.”
Jesus Christ! Clearly I’m not going to get any rest.
I moan, “I’m fucking fine. Leave me the hell alone.”
“Like fuck you’re fine.” Even though his voice is coming through the car door, it still sounds dangerous.
“Go away, Jayden.” I close my eyes and lean my head back.
A loud sound explodes near my head. I jerk my eyes open and glare at Jayden, who’s shaking his fist. He hit the window. His chest is heaving, his eyes are wild, and there’s a hint of…fear.
“The cuts aren’t deep, Jayden. Jesus.”
“It’s not that.”
“What is it then?” I look away from him and stare blankly through the front windshield.
Silence. I want to sleep. I want to rest. I want peace away from people who will hurt me.
Jayden’s voice startles me, “You’re not allowed to cut yourself.”
“Oh, you’re the only one who can hurt me?”
“Exactly,” he growls.
What the fuck? I laugh to myself. “Oh yeah, you think you own me.”
Jayden tries the handle again so aggressively that I feel the car shake. He slams his fist on the glass, and despite myself, I jump. I feel his gaze boring into me. It makes the hair on my arms prickle. But I refuse to look at him.
“You think knowing everything about you is not owning you?” He growls. “You think arranging my whole life to fit you in is not owning you? You think I’d hunt you down to the ends of the earth if I didn’t own you?” Jayden shakes the whole car again. “I had a whole life planned for us in the cabin.” His voice gets angrier. “Before everything fucking happened.”
I clench my jaw. “What kind of life, Jayden? One where you push Cole and me out? Where the only time you show any emotion is when you’re angry?”
“You haven’t seen fucking anger yet.”
“Please,” I scoff. “That’s the only thing I’ve seen.”
Jayden is silent.
I shake my head. “Are you going to kill me?”
“What?” Jayden leans into the glass.
“Are you going to kill me?” I ask slowly.
“Never,” he swears softly.
I just shake my head.
“You don’t believe me.”
I laugh, but it’s not humorous. “You’d rather kill than feel. Of course I don’t believe you.”
Silence.
“Big words for someone who puts up a fight at every turn.”
Anger fills me again, then helplessness. Why am I even having this conversation? “Fuck you, Jayden. I’m done. Just let me live my life in peace.”
“You’re not done till I fucking say you’re done.”
“Suck a dick.”
“Not my style.”
My emotions bubble over. “I fucking hate you!”
“Good. Hate I can work with.” Jayden rattles the door handle. “You have five seconds to open this, or I’m breaking it.”
“Go to hell.”
“Fully plan on it. Four.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Three.”
“Jayden!”
His voice gets dangerously low, “Two. Look away from the door.”
“Fuck off!”
“One,” he growls. “Close your eyes and face away from me.”
“You can’t do shit.” But the way Jayden backs up and ducks down scares me. He pops back up and slams something against the back window. It shatters, glass flying everywhere. I duck instinctively.
“I warned you.” Jayden reaches around, unlocks my door, and rips it open. “You always have to test me, hmmm?”
I scramble to get away, but two huge, warm hands grip me by the shoulders and yank me out of the car.
I fight, kicking and clawing.
“Now, now.” Jayden yanks me to the front of the car and slams me on the hood. His strong arms hold me down. “Let me show you just how much I don’t care.”
I glare up at Jayden. I hate him. I hate him and his bossy, asshole self. I snarl, “Sure, big man. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself.”
Jayden leans down so fast I think we’re going to knock heads. “You think I won’t fuck you right here to teach you a little respect?”
No one talks to me like that, and I see red. “You’ll clearly fuck me anywhere and in front of anyone just to prove a point. Well, guess what? You’re a selfish asshole who only cares about himself.”
Jayden’s eyes flash a second before his hand is around my throat again.
“Jayden!” Cole barks. “Get the fuck over here and help me.”
Jayden glares at me for a second longer before glancing at Cole, who is gripping Ralph by the back of the neck. Jayden looks back at me, giving me a long look. “Don’t fucking move. You hear me? You’ll stay right there.”
I narrow my eyes at him.
Jayden smirks meanly, then gets up.
Ralph backs up, hands in the air, trying to escape from Cole and get out of the room.
“I don’t know what the problem is. I’ll give you guys anything you want,” Ralph sputters.
Jayden stalks over to the bedside and grabs a laptop there. “Couch,” he demands.
Cole shoves Ralph to the couch. Right in front of me.
Yeah, fuck this. I stand, but before I can walk out of the room, Jayden has thrown the laptop down and is gripping me by the hair. Immediately, I turn to fight him. I kick as hard as I can, making contact with his leg, but he doesn’t even flinch.
“Let me go, motherfucker.” I whirl to claw at Jayden’s face, and he simply stiff-arms me away from him. He grabs a decorative bowl of flowers with a gravel base off the coffee table and throws it on the floor. Tiny rocks skitter all over the floor.
“Knees, Jo.”
“Fuck you!”
“It’ll hurt less if you do it yourself,” Jayden warns.
I glance at the small rocks. Jayden has a strong grip on my hair, causing tears to rush to my eyes. I struggle again, and Jayden yanks on my hair so hard that I yelp. Then he shoves me to the ground.
A rock digs into my right knee, shooting pain through me. I suck in a breath and struggle to get off it, but Jayden leans into me. “No. Take your punishment for being such a fucking whore.”
I hiss. The rock hurts, and it’s digging into my skin. I try to put all my weight on my left knee.
“Now.” Jayden glances up at Ralph, who is watching us with huge eyes. “Where were we?”
Ralph trembles.
“Oh, that’s right. You were going to be a good samaritan and help your brother in need.”
Jayden leans into me, forcing more pressure on my knee, and I growl. Cole throws Jayden a harsh look, and Jayden doesn’t respond.
My knee throbs, but it doesn’t take away from my anger. Jayden is barking orders at Ralph, who gets on the computer. I can’t believe I even thought about trying to get close to this monster.
My heart pounds. Jayden leans down, whispering in my ear, “Oh, kitten. Your face is all red. Did you think you could just do anything now that you’ve cozied up to Cole?” He grabs a handful of my hair and yanks my head back. “Tsk, tsk. Silly girl. Silly, vulnerable kitten. You know what I love best?” He leans into my face. “Breaking girls who don’t know how to stop fighting.”
Hatred flashes through me. Why the hell does he have to be so horrible? I blame his harsh grip on my hair for the tears that are pricking my eyes.
I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. How could I have let my guard down?
“Jayden, enough.” Cole’s voice sounds harsh.
Jayden lets go of my hair, and I face forward, overwhelmed by a rush of anger, shame, and loneliness. Horrifyingly, I want to cry.
Oh fuck. I can’t cry. I can’t do that. My knee throbs, and I lean into it. The pain overwhelms the need to cry just a little.
I’ll never be seen here. All I’m wanted for is something to break, and I’ve been weak to think there could be something else.
The rest of what Jayden does goes by in a blur. At some point, Cole comes over and asks softly if I’m okay. I just nod blankly. He frowns and gets in my face. “Jo,” Cole says in a warning tone.
I can’t look at him. His searching gaze scares the hell out of me. I lean into the bite of pain in my knee. It keeps me grounded.
“I’m gonna kill him,” Cole mutters. He pushes me gently, lifting my knee off the rock. Suddenly, panic runs through me. I need that! Oh fuck, don’t take that from me. I scramble to get it, but Cole leans into me. “You don’t have to sit here, little one. Let us take care of this. Go get a glass of water. I’ll be right there.”
I blink, and my vision is foggy. Oh fuck. I might actually cry after all that effort not to. My face burns, and I scramble to my feet. Jayden is hovering over Ralph, who’s working on the computer, but Jayden’s gaze darts to mine.
“Don’t even think about it,” Cole snaps.
I just need to get anywhere but here. I snatch the keys and my stuff and dart out of the room. I blindly search the house until I find the garage.
And there’s our car. I fumble with the keys until I get it unlocked and sit inside, panting.
I was stupid. This will never work. I was being stupid.
Unwanted feelings overwhelm me. I’ve never been wanted. Not by my parents, not by Kyle, and clearly not by them.
Well, maybe by Cole, but he’s a package deal with Jayden.
My hands tremble. I hate feeling things. I hate being out of control. I need it to stop. I need it to stop so I can think about what to do next.
My eyes drop to the knife I brought with me, and suddenly, all I want to do is feel the bite of the blade across my skin. To feel the relief.
This is the only thing that can help me.
I grab the blade and put the cool metal against my wrist. My hands are shaking. Not because I’m afraid of the cut, but because everything is so stopped up inside me. I just need it out. I need it out.
Carefully, I drag the blade along my skin. The burn of the slice runs through me, and immediately, I feel relief. It feels good. It feels like when I’d pick fights with my dad and would leave bloody. It feels like relief.
Why the hell haven’t I done this sooner? I let my head sag back against the seat.
I just need a minute. A minute to feel nothing but the bite of the blade. Then, I’ll figure out what to do next.
33
JAYDEN
I can’t stop.
I can’t stop the rage. The anger. The blind wrath. I’m not even sure what I’m mad about anymore, but I can’t stop.
Cole let Jo walk out of here before I was done with her. Instead of chasing her, I lean into Ralph’s face. “Where’s your porn, hmmm? Delete your history? Go onto the dark web?”
Ralph shakes. We’ve been watching the account that I’m having him transfer his Bitcoin into. I made him damn near empty his accounts to make sure we have enough, plus a little extra to set us up for where we’re going. I want a nice little home where I can lock Jo up until her resistance fucking whithers away.
Jesus Christ, it’s taking a while.
“Here, let me check on something.” Cole grabs the computer.
“Where’d Jo go?” I snap.
“She’s cooling down, give her a minute.” Cole taps on the keyboard.
I don’t want to give her a fucking minute. I don’t want to give her anything! I had her where I wanted her. I saw it in her eyes, and Cole ruined it.
I broke her. I fucking broke her.
Cole already gave her a leg up by dismissing her from the room, but I’ll break that down quickly. Once I ensure we have the money to spirit her away, I’ll teach her to obey.
My hands shake with impatience. I whirl on Ralph. “Give me your fucking phone.”
Ralph shakes as he hands it over. Rage courses through my veins. I go through it, trying to find something, anything to settle me. I can’t find any porn searches. I even check Reddit, WhatsApp, and Snapchat. Nothing.
I growl in frustration, then search a folder he has labeled “Extras.” Kik is in there, and I open it with glee.
Oh, this stupid motherfucker.
As I go through the messages, I find nothing but dick pic after dick pic. All adults. With nasty messages back and forth.
Ralph is sitting still, staring straight ahead. I shove the phone in his face. “What the hell is this?”
Ralph takes a second to focus on what I’m showing him and swallows.
“Well?” I grip Ralph's hair and yank his head back.
“That’s…nothing.”
I bark out a laugh. “Really? Cause it looks like a whole lot of dick to me.”
Ralph starts shaking again. “Please…it was a mistake. Just don’t tell Marian.”
I toss the phone down in disgust. Ralph is boring me. Just like Sage bored me. He’s frozen. Not fighting me, not running, just frozen.
I’ve broken him. And all it took was a punch to the face.
It should mean everything, but the victory is empty. Hollow. His submission is not what I want. I want Jo’s. In fact, I need it more than my next breath.
I snap to my feet.
“Please,” Ralph pleads. “She doesn’t know.”
What a puke. I whirl and land a punch on Ralph’s face. “Where is the kiddie porn?”
“What?” Ralph wails. “What are you talking about? If you want it, I don’t have it.”
“I don’t want your fucking filth.” Rage courses through me, and I don’t think before I throw another punch. “Did you touch Sam?”
“Sam?” Ralph screeches.
I go for another hit.
“Wait!” He screams. “I don’t know what you’re talking about! Marian wanted to adopt Sam, and I said go ahead. It…looks good, you know? A happy family. Please, I’m just running a business.”
I stare at him.
Ralph sobs. “Please don’t hurt me.”
“Why were you friends with Pat?”
Ralph sobs harder.
I lean down by his ear and chuckle as he flinches away. “Why?”
“We fucked, okay! We fucked.” Ralph cries fully now.
I freeze. That’s not the answer I expected.
Cole chuckles. “Does that make us Eskimo brothers?”
I snap a nasty glare at Cole, and he throws up his hands. “We’ve got it.” He shows me the computer screen, flipping to my wallet. The Bitcoin is showing live.
I turn on Ralph. A look of relief covers his teary face. “It worked!”
Suddenly, I have no more use for Ralph.
“You’re not going to say anything, are you?” I grab a decorative pillow.
Ralph gives a giddy laugh. “Never! I’d never. This stays between us. Thank you, thank you.”
“You’re right, it does.” I grab Ralph and shove him so his back hits the couch.
“What?” His eyes widen, but not in time.
I drop the pillow over Ralph’s face and put all my weight into it, dropping my knees on Ralph’s chest to push all the air out of him.
Ralph screams and panics, flailing his arms and legs. He gets a good hit in, which only pisses me off further. I lean my entire weight into him.
“Jesus, Jay,” Cole mutters.
“You want to run the risk he runs to the cops?”
“Course not,” Cole scoffs. “But try not to look so crazy, will you? This is just business.”
I snort. Like fuck it’s just business.
But part of me hates myself. I’m reacting. I never react. I think through everything. But I can’t stop. I can’t fucking stop.
Ralph puts up a good fight, but I’m too big. When he stops moving, I continue sitting on him for a while to ensure he never draws another breath.
“Where the hell is Jo?” I snap.
“She’s taking a breather!” Cole snaps right back. “You went too hard on her, Jayden. Even I’m fed up with you.”
“Too hard? I almost had her!” I curl my fingers into the pillow.
“You’ve never been further from having her, Jayden.” Cole’s voice is full of disgust, and he looks down at me. “I don’t know if she’ll forgive you for any of this! I’m starting to not recognize you anymore.” He steps into my face. “And, in fact, you’re starting to act a lot like Pat.”
The words hit me straight in the gut. My world grinds to a halt.
Cole shakes his head and stalks away.
He thinks I’m acting like Pat?
I’m not. I’m not acting like him.
Suddenly, I’m more angry than I’ve been all morning. This anger burns through me with betrayal.
How dare he? How fucking dare he?
I jump off Ralph’s body and stalk after him. “Don’t fucking walk away from me.”
Cole ignores me and slams the bathroom door shut.
I pause, frozen between beating down the door and chasing after Jo.
Frozen.
Again.
Fucking hell! I rip myself away and stalk to the bedroom. I saw Jo grabbing something from here before she left, and I confirm my fears.
She took the keys.
A slow grin curls up my face. Oh, she’ll pay for this.
34
JO
Peace. Safety.
Pain.
I’ve cut two more times into my left wrist, sinking further into the escape each time. I almost don’t hear the garage door open.
But I do, and when my eyes pop open, I see Jayden storming toward me.
Panic floods me, and I scramble for the lock button. I hit it right as Jayden reaches the door. He slams into the car and rattles the handle.
“Jo.” Jayden’s voice is slightly muffled, and he has a manic grin on his face.
My heart is still pounding.
“Jo, open the door,” Jayden singsongs.
I laugh a little to myself. Fucking hell. And now he’s ruined what little peace I found. I try to close my eyes again.
“Jo!” A hint of alarm fills Jayden’s voice. “Fuck. Blood.” Jayden aggressively yanks at the door handle.
I glance around, then realize what he means. Oh shit. My wrist. I hide my arm to my chest. “It’s fine.”
“Either you unlock this door,” Jayden growls. “Or I’ll break the window in.”
Jesus Christ! Clearly I’m not going to get any rest.
I moan, “I’m fucking fine. Leave me the hell alone.”
“Like fuck you’re fine.” Even though his voice is coming through the car door, it still sounds dangerous.
“Go away, Jayden.” I close my eyes and lean my head back.
A loud sound explodes near my head. I jerk my eyes open and glare at Jayden, who’s shaking his fist. He hit the window. His chest is heaving, his eyes are wild, and there’s a hint of…fear.
“The cuts aren’t deep, Jayden. Jesus.”
“It’s not that.”
“What is it then?” I look away from him and stare blankly through the front windshield.
Silence. I want to sleep. I want to rest. I want peace away from people who will hurt me.
Jayden’s voice startles me, “You’re not allowed to cut yourself.”
“Oh, you’re the only one who can hurt me?”
“Exactly,” he growls.
What the fuck? I laugh to myself. “Oh yeah, you think you own me.”
Jayden tries the handle again so aggressively that I feel the car shake. He slams his fist on the glass, and despite myself, I jump. I feel his gaze boring into me. It makes the hair on my arms prickle. But I refuse to look at him.
“You think knowing everything about you is not owning you?” He growls. “You think arranging my whole life to fit you in is not owning you? You think I’d hunt you down to the ends of the earth if I didn’t own you?” Jayden shakes the whole car again. “I had a whole life planned for us in the cabin.” His voice gets angrier. “Before everything fucking happened.”
I clench my jaw. “What kind of life, Jayden? One where you push Cole and me out? Where the only time you show any emotion is when you’re angry?”
“You haven’t seen fucking anger yet.”
“Please,” I scoff. “That’s the only thing I’ve seen.”
Jayden is silent.
I shake my head. “Are you going to kill me?”
“What?” Jayden leans into the glass.
“Are you going to kill me?” I ask slowly.
“Never,” he swears softly.
I just shake my head.
“You don’t believe me.”
I laugh, but it’s not humorous. “You’d rather kill than feel. Of course I don’t believe you.”
Silence.
“Big words for someone who puts up a fight at every turn.”
Anger fills me again, then helplessness. Why am I even having this conversation? “Fuck you, Jayden. I’m done. Just let me live my life in peace.”
“You’re not done till I fucking say you’re done.”
“Suck a dick.”
“Not my style.”
My emotions bubble over. “I fucking hate you!”
“Good. Hate I can work with.” Jayden rattles the door handle. “You have five seconds to open this, or I’m breaking it.”
“Go to hell.”
“Fully plan on it. Four.”
“Leave me alone.”
“Three.”
“Jayden!”
His voice gets dangerously low, “Two. Look away from the door.”
“Fuck off!”
“One,” he growls. “Close your eyes and face away from me.”
“You can’t do shit.” But the way Jayden backs up and ducks down scares me. He pops back up and slams something against the back window. It shatters, glass flying everywhere. I duck instinctively.
“I warned you.” Jayden reaches around, unlocks my door, and rips it open. “You always have to test me, hmmm?”
I scramble to get away, but two huge, warm hands grip me by the shoulders and yank me out of the car.
I fight, kicking and clawing.
“Now, now.” Jayden yanks me to the front of the car and slams me on the hood. His strong arms hold me down. “Let me show you just how much I don’t care.”
