Fall of the Elves, page 37
part #1 of Elves of Asarton Series
I frowned, not sure why that information was relevant. Perhaps that was for the dreamer. It felt strange, to realise somebody else was watching everything that happened through my eyes. She was a stranger to me. Perhaps we were the same person, but she’d be brought up in a different culture. Different values, different friends, different family.
Different love.
Whoever she was, I hoped she'd had a good life. A peaceful life.
“Your Majesty,” Husi said softly, rousing me from my thoughts. “It is time.”
I nodded slowly, thinking. “You will all keep your memories?”
“Yes,” Jusedoral assured me.
“Good. Then know this.” The emptiness I had pushed aside for the conversation consumed everything else in me until there was nothing left, and I allowed ice to enter my voice. “You may think I have forgiven you for your lies, that after what you have told me I might release my anger. I have not. Lying to me, to your queen, was unnecessary. Simply remembering this when I was human would have been enough. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to forgive you for forcing me to desert my people. You made me into a fool, a puppet queen.” I turned hard eyes on Rana, who flinched back at my look. “Especially you. There is a fine line between love and hate, Rana, and I fear you have crossed that line.”
You would never have agreed to this if we told you, Rana said softly.
“I would have,” I argued. “I would have resisted, certainly. But ultimately, Torren would have explained how necessary it was, you would have said something that wasn’t in any way helpful, and I would have conceded.”
“Your knowledge would have affected your emotions…” Jusedoral began, before trailing off at the harsh look I sent her.
“Enough about my emotions,” I growled. Perhaps I was still drowsy from my long sleep, but their reasoning seemed a little off to me. I had no doubt they were telling the truth, and believed what they were saying wholeheartedly, but it simply didn’t add up. Emotions fuelled magic, yes, but not to the extent they seemed to believe it would.
Drawing in a deep breath, I pushed everything aside to deal with later. I looked up when I was ready and smiled, though it held no warmth.”
“Okay then.” I held out my arms. “Make me human.”
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
When I woke, Maria was pacing. I sat up and she turned to me, eyes wide. “Tessa?”
I pulled the leather thong over my head and untied it, sliding the ring off. When I slipped it onto my finger it glowed with a white light, the band readjusting to fit my finger—wider than it was in my true body. It had never fit before, always been too big or too small. But then, I hadn’t had my memories when I’d tried it on in the past. The moment it settled in place, Maria fell to her knees, head bowed.
“For what I did, Your Majesty, I know I can never be forgiven,” she said, voice thick with emotion. She was crying. “But, I hope that someday you might find it in your heart to allow me to atone for the mistake I made that day.”
Slowly, I got out of bed and knelt in front of the crying woman. Gently, I reached out a hand to lift her chin, feeling sick to the stomach for what I had put her through. “Oh, Sevia. We were children. You knew better, yes, but we should not be held responsible for those actions. It is I who should ask your forgiveness. For I am sorry, truly sorry, that I have held a grudge against you all these years.”
My old friend burst into tears. I gathered her close, rocking her gently. With the return of my memories had come a clarity the likes of which I hadn’t had in that cave twenty years ago. Seeing my own life through human eyes had changed me.
“Enough crying,” I whispered, pulling back and tenderly drying her tears. “We are sisters, are we not? Sisters fight, but they always make up.”
That only made her cry harder.
I held her until she quietened. Rana’s final words to me resonated in my head. She was right—I never would have agreed to it. But, as it turned out, it was the only way.
I stiffened at the thought of my dragon and Sevia pulled back, watching me. She was still in her human form, and it was both strange and familiar to see her this way. Sorting the lives of both Zariah and Tessa was easy. They happened in chronological order, after all. And my confusion of the past few weeks had lifted, leaving me with the emotions my friends had promised would be there.
I could feel something inside of me, responding to my emotions. What it was, I did not know. But the feeling… it was familiar to me. In some way, it was. But I pushed it away for now. It wasn’t time. Not quite yet.
“How many times did I see my dragon in this life and forget her?” I asked.
Sevia hesitated. “Every few months since you were ten.”
My heart clenched painfully and I put a hand to my chest. “So often? How it must have hurt her to see me, knowing I would forget.” Her happiness at seeing me in that clearing the second day made sense now. How many times before had she waited there while I’d gleefully gone about my business, having forgotten the promise I made to the dragon the day before. “How she must have hurt. I have to… I have to see her.”
“Of course, Your Majesty,” Sevia said, standing quickly. “She is—”
“I know where she is,” I said quickly, coming to my feet. With my memories returned, I was finally able to identify our bond. It had always been there. As a human, I’d simply never known what it was.
I ran out of the room, barefoot, hair a mess, but thankfully not in my nightdress. I hadn’t had time to change before I’d slept. I received a number of stares as I ran past, but ignored them. The stares might have had something to do with the fact that my hair was now completely grey. Sevia had made sure that while I was human and days passed as I slumbered, my body would be kept healthy. But I was still in my human body and the constant strain of magic had finally worn it out.
I would need it to hold on, though. Just for a little longer.
I spat out a gob of blood—as elegantly as one could possibly spit out a gob of blood, which was not at all—but didn’t let my imminent death slow me down.
I found Rana in a small courtyard, a different one from the other day but no less hidden. She had been avoiding me. Of course she had. I couldn’t imagine how she must have felt, knowing I would soon regain my memories. Thinking I would hate her.
“Rana!” I called, skidding to a halt a few feet from her. Tears, unbidden, sprung to my eyes.
She watched me for a moment before snorting and tossing her head. Yes, okay. I lied to you. My elf is alive. Happy?
I blinked, confused, before I realised I’d asked Sevia to tell nobody I’d gone back to sleep. In Rana’s mind, I still had one dream left. I shook my head and stepped forward, the motion causing the tears to tumble from my eyes and down my face. “I don’t hate you.”
Rana paused. Tessa?
I choked on a sob. “I could never hate you.”
…Zariah?
“I’m so sorry.”
With a wail, the dragon lunged forward and I flung myself at her, plastered myself against her chest as she wrapped her wings around me and pecked at me with her muzzle. We pulled apart only when the bells rang, signalling the approach of the ragtok armies. Apprehension shot through me, nervousness at what I would have to do.
What would happen if I failed?
I shoved my emotions deep again, locking them away. I would need them. Later.
I pulled back and looked at the dragon, choking down tears. “You’ve gotten so big.”
Yes, I know. I’m magnificent. But there will be time for a proper reunion later, Rana said. For now, you know what you must do.
I took a few steps backwards and Rana’s sapphire eyes gleamed as she lowered her head. Grinning wildly, I ran forward and planted my bare foot in the centre of her head. She jerked her head up, sending me flying high into the air. I screamed my happiness as I began to fall. Rana caught me just as I began my descent, and we headed toward the summit.
The human monarchs weren’t nearly so calm as they had been before. I could hear their shouts before we’d even entered through the giant hole Rana had smashed in the wall.
When we did enter, however, everything became very quiet. I glanced at Aidric, whose eyes had immediately lit on me, and I winced. I would have to have a talk with the poor boy. There might have been a chance while I was still human, but there was truly no use in holding out hope, now.
I slid off Rana’s back, and ignored Aidric’s beckon. I would not sit in a chair by the Isetenilan royal family. As a queen, it simply would not do.
Instead, I strode over to the throne that had been set up for the Cetorian king. I did not sit, not yet. The humans would not stand for a mere countess sitting on a throne. Instead, I stood before it.
I met the horrified gazes of the human monarchs who took in my rumpled appearance, blood-stained lips, bare feet and grey hair.
“With Rana’s permission,” I said to the onlookers, “I will represent the elves in this final summit meeting before the attack.”
Rana settled herself at my back in case anybody got any ideas about going up against me.
“Why are you even here?” King Jarvin demanded, blue eyes cold as ice. “You still have one dream left. And what has happened to your hair?”
“No, I do not. I asked my sister to keep that I had woken a secret. There were answers I needed, answers I now have. As for my hair, well I am, to put it simply, dying. The amount of magic involved in constantly experiencing Zariah’s memories is more than any human body could cope with. But that isn’t what’s important right now.”
Aidric watched me, eyes glossy. I suppose my death was upsetting to him, though in a way he looked proud at the supposed sacrifice.
There was silence before Queen Aria spoke. I almost broke down right there at seeing how similar she looked to my old friend. I understood why Jusedoral had lied to me in that cave. Knowing the truth of what had happened to my human sister might have broken me. “What happened to the elves?”
If I’d thought the room was silent before, I was wrong. Nobody moved, fixated on me. Waiting for me to uncover the mystery.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said simply. “Not with the enemy on our doorstep. What matters now is that I know how to drastically reduce the number of ragtok we need to face, while at the same time expanding our own armies.”
“The last time you made such a big promise Isetenila lost its crown prince for a month on a fool’s errand,” King Jarvin said, sprawled arrogantly on his throne. “What makes this time so different?”
“I saw it in a dream,” I said evasively. Rana made a strange wheezing noise behind me and I smiled. “The fact is, you don’t have the luxury of questioning me. My plan to summon the elf queen’s spirit to ask her directly was my idea. This idea now, is Zariah’s. Ready the soldiers, but leave them behind the walls of the stronghold for now. I will face the ragtok alone.”
“You can’t,” Aidric nearly shouted. His mother glared at him, but he ignored her.
“I can.”
“How? What can one human girl do against an army of those monsters?”
“One human girl? Not much,” I answered truthfully. Then, feeling I needed to reassure the humans somehow so they wouldn’t storm the army anyway and ruin everything, I added, “I will have Rana with me. I’ve already told her my plan.”
No, you haven’t, the dragon said to me alone.
I ignored her. “And she has agreed that this is the best course of action.”
I certainly have not.
“All in favour of giving the girl time alone with the army,” King Pers said, glancing at his son who looked like he’d come out of his seat at any moment.
Hands went up around the room, Queen Aria and King Tristian being the first to agree. Varal was loyal to the elves, and if I said I was doing as they instructed I knew they would not go against me.
The vote was thankfully supported by all three kingdoms currently in attendance, though King Jarvin was somewhat hesitant. Aidric did not raise his hand, but his parents did so it didn’t matter.
I nodded and clasped my hands together. “Right. No time to lose, then. I will put my armour on and go face the ragtok. Wait for my signal to attack.”
“What will the signal be?” King Jarvin asked.
“I’ll send Rana to you. Do not attack until then. If you do, you could ruin everything.”
King Jarvin opened his mouth, most likely to say something that would undoubtedly annoy me, so before he could I walked out of the room. Rana left through her hole, going to wait for me to change.
I wasn’t all that surprised when Aidric ran out after me
“Tessa, wait!” he called.
“Go back inside, Aidric,” I said, striding quickly down the hall. “I will talk with you after.”
“You just announced that you’re dying and you want me to go back inside?” he demanded, catching my arm and pulling me to a stop. He eyed my grey hair and swallowed.
“It’s not a big deal. I’m not actually going to die, it’s just my body. I have it all figured out. Nothing to worry about.” I pulled my arm from his grip and hurried down the hall.
“Just hold on a minute, would you?” He ran after me, catching me before I could get very far. Sister Moons, if this human didn’t take a hint very soon, centuries of planning would come to nothing. The ragtok would take the city while I was stuck in this conversation. Curse my human strength and speed. Apparently, most of my abilities wouldn’t come back until my proper body did. His dark eyes searched mine, brow furrowing. “You’ve changed. What happened in your last dream? What did you find out?”
“You’ll know soon enough,” I said.
He grabbed my left hand and pulled it up. “Why are you wearing this?”
I looked at the ring and shrugged. “It fit.”
It was enchanted to be a perfect fit for me and me alone, no matter what form I was in.
“It’s not yours.”
A fresh surge of anger went through me as the memory resurfaced of the young prince taking my ring and handing it out to countless humans. But, no. I could not blame him. He’d only been doing what he thought best. Instead, I simply said: “It’s not yours, either.” Glancing over his shoulder, I bit my lip and groaned. “Look, while you’re here, we do need to talk.”
“About?”
“Aidric, you’re sweet,” I said taking his hands. “But, I’m sorry. I am devoted to my husband. And though he may not be here, I will not dishonour him.”
He blinked, staring. “Your husband? The man who dallies with a mistress behind your back.”
I know he didn’t know the truth, couldn’t know it. But nevertheless, his words stung. The falsities in them, the blatant though misguided disrespect. I couldn’t let it stand. “My husband’s eye has never once strayed. His heart is mine as mine is his.”
“Tessa, you’re delusional.”
“No. For the first time in a long time, I can see clearly. It turns out seeing through human eyes puts everything into perspective.”
He frowned. “What?”
I smiled, not unkindly. “You will understand soon enough. Wait for my signal.”
Then, before he could say anything else, I slipped past him and darted down the hall.
I slipped into my chambers. It seemed my entire household had gathered to see me off. The maids—Lillianna, Annie and Angelique. Chef Resnon and the butler, Gerard. Julia, Herlon and Leon stood at the forefront, talking in low voices.
I glanced at Sevia, who was still in her human form, and she shook her head.
“Tessa,” Herlon said. “Where have you been? The ragtok are coming. You need to go back to sleep. Dream your last dream. Now.”
“Enough, Garlen,” I said softly, speaking Elvish.
His expression shuttered and he took a step back. “What?”
“I said enough.” Turning to Julia, I smiled. “Thank you for lending me your husband, Jusedoral.”
My friend’s hand fluttered to her mouth and her eyes went glossy with unshed tears. When she spoke, it was in our own native tongue: “Your Majesty?”
I turned to Leon. “It seems you were the only one who kept your distance, Husi. You all told me in that cave that I would recognise you, but not know you. What happened?”
My friend dropped to his knees, bowing his head.
It was Garlen who spoke. “We… we did try. But the Count of Newshire contracted a fever and passed away before he could marry you. So, I took his form and posed as him. And the others came to act as your household.”
“So that is why your form is different from the one you showed me in the cave.”
“How did you know it was me?” Garlen asked.
I grinned. “I’ve known you since we were children. You think our friendship so inconsequential I would not know you with a different face? Elf or human, you are the same person.”
“Your Majesty…” Garlen’s eyes were misted over, and I grinned.
“That, and I knew Jusedoral would never stray. Her form is the same.”
Garlen let out a weak chuckle before turning back to his wife.
I looked over at the rest of the household, remembering their forms from my dream. The remaining four were part of the royal guard who had escorted me to the cave. Lilliana was Ketinla, Chef Resnon was Reseyon—he really hadn’t changed his name much. Gerard and Annie were the twins—Nared and Maeva.
“I suppose it makes sense now,” I said. “As a human, I never quite understood why our household was so small. You were certainly rich enough to keep on more staff. I suppose you simply didn’t want any humans getting in the way.”
Finally, I turned to Angelique. “I must say, Niyashe, I never expected to see you as a maid.”
Tears were falling from her eyes and she bowed her head. “Forgive me my deception, Your Majesty.”
“Forgive you? You saved my life.” She looked up at me and I smiled. “Don’t you remember? You made me carry daggers around. I ran into a group of ragtok in the forest and the weapons you forced on me are what kept me alive until Rana came. Thank you.”
