Show Me the Scary Part, page 23
“Okay.”
Nadine got on her hands and knees, and I put Ryder on her back.
“Are you ready for the horsey ride?” Nadine says.
“Yes,” he said in his little voice.
Nadine started to crawl around the floor slowly so that Ryder wouldn’t fall. My heart swelled watching the two of them. Ryder was laughing so hard. This was perfect.
I just sat and watched the two blissfully until the doorbell rang.
“That would be Scott,” Nadine said.
I nod, then I got up from the couch and got Ryder off her back. Nadine gets up off the ground, and she starts towards the door, but stops when Ryder starts to whine after her.
“You want Nadine?” I asked.
He continued to whine while he reached out to her.
“Here, take him, I’ll answer the door,” I smiled at her.
“Okay.” She took Ryder from my arms and started kissing his cheeks.
I started towards the front door, and I wasn’t nervous, oddly enough. I opened the door, and there he stood with a big smile on his face until he realized who I was. He stood there for a moment in shock before lifting something in his hands.
“I um, brought cake,” he smiles at me.
I looked at the cake box and smiled. “That’s great.”
He sighs. “I had no idea. It’s good to see you, Whitney.”
“You too. Come in.” I said.
He steps in and we side-hug, then I close the door.
“Have you been here the whole time?” he asked.
“Yeah, this is where I’ve been.”
“This is a great place.”
“Thank you.”
As we get farther in the house, you can hear Ryder’s giggles. When he was with Nadine, it was a constant giggle fest.
Scott stopped. “Is that Ryder?”
“Yeah.”
“He sounds so big,” he says.
I looked at him, and he looked like her was about to go into heart failure.
“You okay?” I asked.
“I wasn’t prepared to see you and Ryder today. It’s just a little overwhelming, that’s all. I would have been better prepared if I had known, I wouldn’t have just come with a cake. I would have brought gifts for him, I hadn’t seen him in such a long time, and I’m empty-handed.”
He was freaking out, and I’ve never seen him like this, even when I told him I was pregnant.
“Calm down, Scott. I should have let Nadine tell you, but I didn’t think it was a good idea. You’re here now, and I don’t think that Ryder will care that you’re empty-handed; he’s only one after all. Besides, you seem to have brought the one thing that I know he responds well to.” I said.
“What is that?”
“Food,” I said, pointing to the cake.
He smiles. “Oh yeah. Really?”
“Are you ready to go in there now?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
We walked into the living room where Nadine was sitting on the floor holding Ryder, their faces were together, and she was placing a series of kisses all over his face. He was eating every bit of it up. I couldn’t get enough of those two.
“We have company,” I said to the two of them in their little world.
Nadine looks over at us and smiles.
“Scott, how crazy is it that you’re here?”
Nadine got up from the ground with Ryder in her arms.
“Yeah, it really is,” he says.
“It’s good to see you,” she says.
“You too, I mean that, although you’ve been keeping a big secret from me.” He looked at Ryder and me.
“Not my secret to tell.”
He looks at Ryder. “Hey, little guys, you remember me, I’m your—” He stopped. “Um, I’m Scott.”
It shocked me a little how he stumbled over that; he was his dad before I left. Now he isn’t anymore? I know he hasn’t been in Ryder’s life for a year and a half, but he was still Ryder’s father.
Ryder didn’t seem amused by him and just lay his head on Nadine’s shoulder.
“I see you’ve brought cake,” Nadine says.
“Oh yeah, I should put this in the kitchen.”
“I’ll lead the way,” I said.
“I’m just going to play with Ryder some more before his bath,” Nadine says.
“We’ll be right back,” I told her.
Scott followed me to the kitchen and placed the cake on the counter.
“I’m sorry about that in there. I didn’t know whether I should have introduced myself as his dad or not.”
“That’s entirely up to you, Scott. I never wanted to keep him from you. Leaving was the only way; I hope you understand that,” I said.
“I read your letter, Whitney. I understand. It was hard at first. I read that letter every day until I was convinced it was for the best. I know I didn’t get to spend much time with him, but I missed Ryder; he’s my son, and I connected with him. It was really hard, but I knew that I would never be the father he deserved. There was no way I could ever claim him in public,” he spoke.
I knew the situation from the beginning, but it still hurt to hear it.
“I know,” I said simply.
“I want to know him, though, and I still want to help if you’d let me.”
I nod. “Yeah, that’s completely up to you. It’s your choice what you want to be to him.”
“To be completely honest, the role of father was taken way before I stepped into the picture,” he voiced.
I gave him an inquisitive look.
“Come on, Whitney, seriously? Nadine has been there from day one. Looking at the two of them out there-there is absolutely no mistaking it.”
“You’re saying Nadine is more of a father to Ryder?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying. The first time I met Nadine, she introduced herself as your baby mama. I know that she was just joking, but that’s what she is.”
I know that he was right, I’ve known that shortly after my son was born. She has been there when Scott had seen Ryder less than a handful of times.
“I love her, you know,” I said.
“I know, and I believe that you two are going to be very happy together,” he said with a sincere smile.
I returned his smile. “Thank you, Scott.”
“No problem, Whitney.”
He gives me a quick hug before we join Ryder and Nadine in the living room.
Ryder didn’t take to Scott; it was points where he would just stare at him like he was wondering why he was here.
Later, I decided to leave the two alone to catch up while I gave Ryder his bath.
Nadine
Whitney just left with Ryder to give him a bath, which left me and Scott.
“So, you found her,” he smirks.
I smiled at him. “We bumped into each other, we go to the same college.”
“What are the odds of that happening?”
“I know, I never thought I’d see Whitney and Ryder again,” I said.
“You never gave up hope, though,” he says.
“No, I didn’t. I’m going to spend the rest of my life with her,” I admitted.
“You two are so perfect for each other, and you’re amazing with Ryder.”
“I love that kid—speaking of which, you didn’t seem to know what to introduce yourself as.” I pointed.
“Oh yeah, I love Ryder, but I know that I won’t be who he needs me to be. I’m getting married in two months.”
“Why are you getting married before your residency is over?” I asked.
“That’s what my parents want,” he answered.
“Is this what you want?”
“I didn’t want to get married this young, but I like who I’m getting married to, that’s all that matters, right?”
“Um, I think that statement is supposed to go: I love who I’m getting married to,” I said.
He shrugs. “Love will come eventually.”
“I hope it does. Are you nervous?”
He nods. “Hell yeah, but my older brother Clay went through this. He’s been giving me advice on how to handle the whole situation.”
“Is your brother happy?”
He laughed. “Clay was never very cheerful to begin with; he’s a lot like my father in that respect. They are both very brooding. But he has two kids that he adores, a boy and a girl. It worked out perfectly for him; his life is picture-perfect.”
“Well, I’m happy for you,” I said.
That wasn’t entirely true. He’s going to have this whole life without Ryder. I know he feels that he’s not what Ryder deserves, but he’s going to find out about Scott one day, and he’s going to find out that he didn’t fight for him.
We steered the conversation in a different direction, to something less serious. Whitney came back into the living room with Ryder in his pajamas to tell us goodnight. I gave Ryder several kisses and a warm hug before she took him to bed.
When Ryder was asleep, we went to the kitchen to eat the cake that Scott brought.
Scott’s visit was nice and very short; he was leaving for the airport first thing in the morning. He hadn’t gotten a hotel yet, so Whitney offered him one of her guest rooms. He gladly took it because he was extremely tired. I was shocked that he made the trip when he said he worked one hundred hours this week.
Whitney and I went to her bedroom after we saw that Scott was settled.
“This was the best Thanksgiving I’ve had,” I said.
I grabbed some pajamas out of the drawer Whitney cleared out for me. I stayed over here pretty often.
“Why is that?” she smiles at me.
“I got to spend it with you and Ryder.” I returned her smile. “I would have been getting harassed by family members that I only see once or twice a year if I went home.”
“That’s sweet, I’m so happy that you stayed.”
“See, you would have missed me.”
I place the clothes on the bed.
“Of course I would have missed you, so would Ryder.”
“I love that boy,” I admitted.
“I know, I love how you are with him. It makes me happy when I see you two together.”
I smiled. “I love us together.”
“Then let’s stay together,” She says.
* * *
“Come on, Marshmallow, we’re taking your mommy somewhere special today. It took me a while to set this up, but I think she’s going to like it.”
I just got finished getting Ryder ready for the day.
“Where are we going?” Whitney said entering Ryder’s room.
“It’s a surprise,” I said.
“I can’t wait,” she says hesitantly.
“I know you don’t like surprises, but I promise you’re going to love it.”
I picked Ryder up and walked over to her.
“I trust you,” she smiles at me.
“Then let’s get going,” I said with a beaming smile.
We took Whitney’s car, and I drove us to our destination, which was about forty-five minutes away.
Ryder still wasn’t a very good car rider, ironically, and the only way he calmed down was when Whitney sang to him. I could listen to her sing all day. She was an excellent singer. He fell asleep fifteen minutes in, so the ride wasn’t that bad.
“I love your voice. How is it that someone who only listened to classical music until a year ago sings so well?” I asked.
“I don’t sing that well,” she says.
“Yes, you do, I just hate that you weren’t able to explore your talents,” I said.
“I am now, at least, I don’t want to be a singer or anything like that, but I love singing for my son.”
“You’ll sing for me too, right?” I smirk.
“Yes, anytime you want me to.”
“Great, maybe in the bedroom,” I suggested, with raised eyebrows.
She laughs. “One day, maybe.”
“Are your parents okay with same-sex relationships?” I asked.
I have no idea why I asked that right now, but I’ve been curious about it for a while.
“I don’t think they have an outright problem with it, but I highly doubt they would accept one of their children being in one.”
“What about you?” I asked.
“What about me? I don’t have the same views that my parents have,” she says.
“I know, it’s just that I think about the future and I know that I want to be with you, but I never really asked if you wanted that also,” I said.
She takes one of my hands while my other hand stays on the steering wheel.
“If you’re asking if I’m into you, I am. I want to be with you, Nadine. I can’t imagine being with anyone else. I see a future with you. You, Ryder, and I are a family. This right here,” she motions around the car. “Is my family.”
I smiled. “I want to kiss you right now, but it isn’t time yet. When the time comes, I’m never going to stop kissing you.”
I could hear her take a breath. “I love you.”
“I love you.” I smiled at her warmly before turning to look at the road.
I started to laugh.
“What is it?” she asks.
“I’m just really happy,” I said.
She just smiles at me.
* * *
Whitney
“Oh my god! I can’t believe this.”
Nadine had brought me to a horse ranch, and this was the best surprise ever. It’s been so long since I’ve been around a horse.
“I hope you’re ready, you are riding today,” she smiles at me.
“Really?”
“Yes, I bought you some brand new riding gear, it’s in the trunk. I just wanted to do something special for you.”
“Thank you so much, Nadine.”
“Don’t mention it, babe, are you ready?”
“Yes.” Excitement radiated off of me.
This place made me so nostalgic, the smells and the atmosphere. Things were never really simple for me, but everything faded away when I was around horses.
I got changed into the equestrian attire that Nadine got for me, and it fit perfectly. Nadine and Ryder were waiting for me outside the changing room. Ryder was in his stroller.
“How do I look?” I asked.
She could not pull her eyes from me.
“You look great. I had no idea I needed this in my life. We’re going to have to come here often if it means you get to dress like that.”
I blushed slightly. “Thank you.”
“Come on, the owner said he has the perfect horse for you. I let him know that you were a seasoned rider, and he set up a course for you.”
Nadine and I went to the fields where beautiful horses were galloping around. I felt excitement stir up in me; I was back in my element after so long.
I reached out for Nadine’s hand and gently squeezed it, and she gave me a warm smile.
“Hello, nice to see you again, Nadine. This must be Whitney, and who is this little guy?” said a man approaching us.
“This is Ryder,” Nadine introduced.
He smiles. “I love that name,” he turns to me. “I’m Brett Langsford,” he introduced, holding out his hand.
I took it. “Hello, Whitney Delaney.”
“We’re going to set you up with Caspian over there; he’s great with strangers, and it’s one of our best show horses,” he pointed over to this large black stallion.
“Wow, he’s absolutely beautiful,” I said.
“Yeah, he’s my most prized stallion. I usually wouldn’t let anyone ride him, but I looked up your credentials, and you’re exceptional.”
“You looked me up?” I asked.
“I did, I hope that’s okay?”
“No, it’s fine,” I said.
He smiles. “It would be nice to have you on my team.”
I laughed. “Well, I’m a little out of practice.”
“You’ll be fine. Let’s go get a saddle on him,” he said.
He pointed Nadine to where the bleachers were so that she and Ryder could sit while I rode.
Nadine blew me a kiss, then she left with Ryder and went to the bleachers.
Brett got Caspian, and I helped put the saddle on him, making sure the measurements were right, so that I would have a comfortable ride.
“Are you ready?” he says, handing me a helmet.
I don’t take it. “Just a second.”
I ran my hand over Caspian’s black coat, then I walked in front of him so I was face-to-face with this large, beautiful creature. I touched his muzzle and I stroked the white fur there.
“Hello, big guy, I’m Whitney,” I said softly.
He leans his face onto me so gently.
I giggled. “Such a gentle giant.” I kissed his muzzle.
I ran my hand over his muzzle one last time before putting on the helmet and mounting him.
“What was that you just did with him?” Brett asked.
“I don’t get on any horse without connecting to them in some kind of way,” I said.
He smiles. “Wow, that’s remarkable.”
I grabbed hold of the reins, mounted the horse, and led it out of the barn, with Brett walking beside. He led us to the fences with the hurdles, and I got a little nervous when I saw them, but I also felt overwhelming excitement.
He opened the gate, and I rode Caspian in, and Brett closed the gate behind us. I looked at the bleachers, seeing Nadine and Ryder sitting there watching me. I waved at the two of them, and they waved back.
I examined the fields, assessing all the jumps, and decided to start small first. It’s been so long since I’ve done this.
“Alright, Caspian, let’s go.”
I give the horse a command to trot, and I let him build up a little momentum before I make the first jump. I made sure that I wasn’t putting much pressure on him and that I wasn’t pulling too tight on the reins.
He glided over the jump effortlessly, and I felt a rush when he cleared it. I felt pumped after that. I missed this so much.
This horse knew what he was doing, so I went for the more difficult jumps. The combinations that were there had several jumps that required control and precision.
I could hear Nadine and Ryder clapping in the bleachers, and I couldn’t help but smile.
I got lost in riding and jumping, but I stopped when I believed Caspian had had enough, didn’t want to overwork him.
