Show Me the Scary Part, page 18
“Good. I want to know what you’ve been up to.”
“I’ve just been focused on being a mom for the most part. I couldn’t go to school without my parents’ help, so I started studying for my GED. I took it when I turned eighteen and immediately started applying to local colleges.”
“That’s great, Whitney, I’m glad you pushed forward. I have a question for you, though.”
“Go ahead.”
“Why didn’t you call once you turned eighteen? I understand you didn’t do it before then, but why not after?”
“I was scared, Nadine, and I still am. I left, but that doesn’t mean the issues I had before have suddenly gone away.”
“I’m not your parents, Whitney, and even if it was just one call telling me that you were alright, I would have been okay with that.”
“There were so many times I picked up the phone to call you, but I couldn’t, Nadine. Talking to you once wouldn’t have been enough for me. I guess it was a little selfish of me, but I couldn’t do that to myself. I can’t lose control of myself because I have a son. Every step I take, I have him in mind. It tore me up to leave you,” I was getting emotional.
“I guess I was just feeling a little selfish, too, but you leaving also tore me up. I never got over it.”
I took a breath. “I don’t understand how someone I’ve known for all of three months could have such a huge effect on me.”
“We didn’t meet each other under normal circumstances. I found you only moments after giving birth to your baby. I watched you deliver your placenta for Christ’s sake. I did everything I could to ensure that you were taken care of and well protected. How could we not have a huge effect on each other?”
“Do you regret finding me and taking me in?” I asked.
“No, I can’t ever regret meeting you, and that’s the truth. I’ve felt what it’s like not to have you in my life, and I don’t want to feel that ever again. You’re stuck with me this time, okay. I promised to always be there for you and Ryder. That still stands.”
I smiled. “I don’t need a caretaker, Nadine, but I do need you and want you in my life.”
“Okay, Whit, I’ll be whatever you need me to be,” she smiles at me.
“Thank you. I missed you, Nadine.”
“I missed you, Whitney.”
Nadine
Tonight was going pretty well; it got a bit emotional for a moment, but I expected that. I was just so happy to be in the same room as her.
Dinner was great. Whitney learn a lot while she was gone; she couldn’t cook at all before. Whitney is incredibly smart. She could do anything she set her mind to.
“Alright, messy boy, are you ready for a bath?” Whitney said to Ryder.
He was quiet the entire time during dinner, preoccupied with his food. Whitney said that he loves to eat, and her food was good, so I didn’t blame him.
I was blown away by how big Ryder was. It’s so crazy what changes in a short amount of time.
“You want to help me give him a bath?” Whitney asked.
I smiled. “Sure.”
“Alright, come here, bud,” she says, taking him out of his highchair.
Whitney had me hold him while she got his nightclothes and ran his bath water.
He just stared at me the entire time I was holding him. This child was so beautiful and perfect.
“He likes you,” Whitney says.
I laughed. “How do you know?”
“He’s not crying,” she smiled. “He cries when anyone holds him.”
“I think he’s still a little skeptical because he keeps staring at me.”
“I read that when babies stare at you, they think you’re beautiful,” she says.
“Seriously, you think I’m beautiful?” I asked Ryder.
He just stared at me some more.
“Your silence is staggering,” I smiled at him.
“His bath is ready,” Whitney said.
I helped get him undressed, and Whitney placed him in the tub. We both knelt in front of the tub while he played with his bath toys.
“He looks so much like Scott,” I said.
That was supposed to be an inside thought.
Whitney looked at me. “He does,” she agrees.
“We kept in contact after you left,” I shared.
She chuckled. “You and Scott are friends. I never would have seen that coming. How is he?”
“He’s getting married in five months,” I shared.
She looks at me. “I knew it would happen soon. Is it the girl his parents picked for him?”
“Yeah.”
“Good for him.”
“He misses Ryder, but he knew that you had to do what’s best for him. He wasn’t going to be the father Ryder deserved anyway.”
“Maybe not the father he deserves, but the father that he has. I never wanted to take Ryder away from him, but in hindsight, maybe it’s best that Ryder didn’t get attached to him before ultimately ditching him to start a legitimate family,” she voiced.
“I’m here now, okay, I’m here for you and Ryder. Always.”
She smiles warmly. “Thank you. Are you going to tell Scott that you found me?”
“Not unless you want me to, other than that it’s your business.”
“I think we’ll leave it as it is for now.”
I understood; it didn’t make sense to reach out to him.
After washing Ryder and getting him ready for bed, we both tell him goodnight, and she puts him in his crib.
Whitney and I left the room, and she closed the door behind her.
“You’re going to stay a little while longer?” Whitney asked.
“If that’s what you want.”
She smiles. “I want.”
Whitney takes my hand and leads me to the living room.
“So, have you still been listening to music?” I asked, sitting on the couch.
She smiles, sitting beside me. “Yes, and I found some artists I like.”
“That’s great.”
“I always think about you when I listen to music.”
“That’s cool, it’s great to be thought of,” I smiled.
I was trying so hard not to blush; it was great hearing that she thought of me.
“I’ve also been watching movies and TV shows,” she shared.
“Yeah? I guess you have so much to catch up on. I didn’t get a chance to show you all of my favorites.”
“Maybe we can have a marathon one day,” she suggested.
“Yes, we should. I hope I’ll be seeing a lot of you.”
She gives me a small grin. “I hope so, too.”
“So, lunch tomorrow?” I beamed.
She returned my large grin and nod. “Absolutely.”
EIGHTEEN
Nadine
It was so great catching up with Whitney, and I couldn’t wait to see her again today at lunch. I was in class now and Parker was sitting beside me, not only is she in the same college as me, she’s also taken up the same major. So, she was in all of my classes.
I’m more than convinced she followed me here. I didn’t think our relationship would extend to college; yet, here we are.
“Where do you want to go for lunch?” she says, beside me.
“I’m having lunch with a friend,” I said.
She frowns. “We’ve only been here for a few days, what friend?”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. “Does it matter?”
“Why don’t I just go with you? Is it exclusive?” she questioned.
I pressed my lips together. I did not want her tagging along.
“No, it’s not, but we have a lot of catching up to do. I don’t want you to be left out.”
She looked upset. “It’s that girl from the other day, isn’t it?”
“Yes, she and I are close friends.”
“A close friend you don’t want around your girlfriend, sounds like more than a friend to me.”
She was frustrating me, and her clinging was getting to be too much.
“You know what, she is more than a friend, and I want to spend time with her without you hanging off of me,” I voiced.
“Why are you so mean to me?”
I took a frustrated breath. “You’re so goddamn suffocating.”
I could see the hurt on her face from my admission, and I didn’t want to hurt her, but she was bugging me.
“I just want to be with you. How is that suffocating?” she questioned.
“Let’s drop it for now, okay, I’m trying to pay attention to the professor,” I said, facing the front again.
This wasn’t going to last much longer.
* * *
“You’re just going to run off to her without even talking to me,” Parker said.
As soon as class was over, I headed for the door, and like always, she was hot on my trail.
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” I said nonchalantly.
“Why have you never told me about her?” she asked.
She was keeping me from Whitney, and it pissed me off.
“I didn’t want to tell the girl I’m fucking about the girl I’m in love with,” I spat.
She stood there dumbfounded.
I hadn’t meant to be that mean to her, but I couldn’t take it back now. The best thing to do was to just walk away.
“I’ll talk to you later,” I said, leaving her there in her confused state.
I had to go to Whitney.
I met up with Whitney in the parking lot, and we greeted each other with a hug. Her presence was just so warm and inviting. We got into her car and she drove us to a restaurant that she went to often.
“Ryder and I go to the beach a couple of times a month. I love it.” Whitney said happily.
“I would love to go with you the next time you go,” I said.
“Yes, that would be great.”
“The last time I was at the beach was when we went to Scott’s beach house.”
She smiles. “That was great, the sunset with you was great.”
“That was great.”
She looks at me for a moment. “You seemed a little upset earlier when you got in my car. I wanted to know if you were okay.”
“I was a little upset, I’m not going to lie, there is a personal matter I have to take care of. I’m okay now, though,” I grinned. “I’m with you.”
She smiles widely. “Well, I hope everything works out.”
“We’ll see.”
“So, I never asked you what you’re majoring in.”
“I thought I’d follow in my parents’ footsteps and go into law. My mother said I’ll make an excellent lawyer one day.”
“Yes, I can see that, you’re going to be great.”
“What about you? What are you majoring in?”
“I haven’t quite figured that out yet, but I have time,” she shares.
“Yes, you have time. Have you been able to go horseback riding since you’ve been here?” I wondered.
She looks down at her food sadly. “No, I haven’t, I haven’t been on a horse since I got pregnant. I miss it.”
“I’m sure you do. Why haven’t you gone? Isn’t Florida the horse capital?” I asked.
“I would love to go horseback riding, but I’ve been too preoccupied with being a mom. That’s who I am right now, not the champion horseback rider for five consecutive years. I’ll get back to it one day, for right now, I want to work on a career so that I’m able to provide for my son. I’ve been dependent on people since Ryder was born, and I can’t live the rest of my life that way. I could just live off of my grandmother’s wealth for the rest of my life, but I want something more; I want purpose. You know what I mean?” she says.
“Yes, of course, I get it. It makes me happy to hear you say that.”
“I just want to set a good example for my boy.”
“You will—you are.” I gave her a reassuring smile.
Whitney’s phone started to ring. She picked it up, looked at it, then glanced at me.
“Do you mind if I take this?” she asked.
“I don’t mind,” I said.
She answers. “Charlotte.”
Whitney listened, and she looked a bit skeptical. I wonder who this Charlotte person is.
“Um, I guess I’ll see you tonight. Bye.”
She hangs up the phone.
I wanted to ask her who that was, but it wasn’t any of my business, and I didn’t want to impose.
“Charlotte’s one of my grandmother’s house managers. She runs her Tuscan mansion, and she helps with my home and expenses.” Whitney informed.
“You two close?” I inquired, hesitantly.
She looks down at her food before meeting my gaze again.
“What’s that look? You can tell me anything.”
“I’m fine. Charlotte is the most consistent person in my life right now. I guess that makes us close.”
She looked like she wanted to tell me something, but I didn’t press her on it.
Her hand was sitting on the table, and I couldn’t help myself. I placed my hand on the table, taking her hand in mine.
She gives me a soft, approving smile, running her thumb along the back of my hand.
“Can I take you and Ryder out Saturday?” I asked.
Her smile widened. “I would love that.”
After lunch, Whitney drove us back to campus, and I decided to walk her to class. I didn’t want to say goodbye just yet.
“We’ll get together sometime before Saturday. I have to take Ryder for a checkup at lunch tomorrow, so we won’t be able to do lunch.” Whitney says.
I sighed. “Can you call me later?”
She smiles. “Sure.”
“Good, talk to you later,” I said.
We stopped in front of her classroom door.
“Talk to you later.”
I hugged Whitney before heading to my class.
I was dreading having to see Parker, but she wasn’t there when I entered the class; she showed up just when the professor was opening the door. She looked right at me and, before taking a seat far from me.
I was okay with that.
She did catch up with me after class was over and asked if we could talk.
“You said that I’m just the girl you fuck,” she states, anguish apparent on her face.
Okay, I do feel like shit for saying that to her.
“I’m sorry I said that,” I apologized.
“So, you didn’t mean that?”
“No, I didn’t mean that. You mean more to me than that. I’m just a little overwhelmed by everything.” I said.
“You said that you’re in love with her,” she mentioned.
“It’s the truth, but that doesn’t mean I’ve acted on those emotions. We’re just friends,” I explained.
“I don’t think I want to be a part of whatever this is, if you’re in love with someone else, this doesn’t have the potential to go anywhere. College is for exploring anyway, so maybe we should just end this here,” she says, then walks off.
Well, I guess that was the end of that.
I took a breath and went to my car.
When I walked into my apartment, I could hear a commotion then these twin boys ran up to me with smiles on their faces. I was a bit confused by the little humans running around the apartment.
“Um, who are you two?” I smiled at them.
They just looked at me with identical grins and giggles.
Deena and a girl who looked so familiar walked up, and I couldn’t figure out where I’d seen her before.
“I’m sorry, they don’t know how to sit still,” The familiar girl said.
“This is my best friend, Nadine. I was telling you about her, remember.” Deena introduced. “Nadine, this is Kenya.”
“We’ve met before in Maryland, in my school’s daycare, you were visiting your friend Whitney and her baby,” she says.
“Yes, I knew I recognized you, but I couldn’t place where. It’s nice to see you again, and your boys are so big.”
They were babies when I last saw them, now their standing up and walking around.
“I know they’re turning two soon,” she says.
“How do you two know each other?” I wondered.
“We met last year during the college tour, and we kept in touch after,” Deena shared.
I wonder why she never told me.
“That’s great, it’s cool you’re here. Whitney’s here too, coincidentally,” I said.
She looked shocked. “Really? She just disappeared.”
“I know, she has a good reason for that.”
“I’m sure.”
“Well, we’re going out. I’ll be home around seven,” Deena says as she takes one of the boys’ hands, and Kenya takes the other.
“Okay, have fun.”
I watched as they left the apartment. There was something Deena wasn’t telling me; that’s why she left so soon.
I went to my room to start on my homework, and when it started getting late, I realized Whitney didn’t call me. I picked up my phone and contemplated calling her, but decided against it. I wanted to call her, but I didn’t want to be annoying—at the same time, I was afraid that she would disappear again. I just had to trust that she wouldn’t; we will talk soon.
* * *
Whitney
I put Ryder down early tonight because Charlotte was coming over, and I didn’t like her around him.
My grandmother wasn’t here, so Charlotte handled everything. I love my grandmother, but she hires people based solely on their credentials. Charlotte may be qualified for her job, but her character is definitely in question.
The doorbell rang and I gulped. She comes over whenever she feels like it, and I hate it every time she does. I took a breath as I walked to the front door. I already wanted her gone, and I hadn’t even let her in yet.
I opened the door to her smiling face, and I knew exactly why she was smiling.
“You took a while to open the door. Were you going to leave me standing here all night?” She says as she walks into my house.
Charlotte was 33 and had a very demanding disposition; she was the type of person who didn’t take no for an answer. It doesn’t matter how far that answer pushed someone. She was fit, and she took special and meticulous care of her body. Her dirty blond hair was never out of place, and her outfits were always kempt and precise. She was admittedly beautiful and could have anyone she wanted, yet every week she bangs on my door.
