Golden Void, page 19
part #3 of Black Blade Series
“S-sorry,” he says as he reaches ground level, “Is T-T-Tyson all right? I’m not sure what happened?”
Kendrick looks at me again.
“No clue, wasn’t there,” she says, “sounds like he fell.”
“Oh,” Castor paces past us to peer out into the fog, “has Marion gone to-”
“See if that damned sword has washed out to sea?” Kendrick asks, “Who knows? Nobody tells me anything.”
“I’ll l-look, if that’s all right?” he says, swiping at the fog, “I think i-it might be clearing, actually.”
“Please yourself.” Kendrick crosses her arms, leans back against the wall of the lighthouse and closes her eyes.
That “nobody tells me anything” comment was probably directed at me, so I won’t. Not until Castor’s gone.
Sunlight filters in through the fog, and I start to work up some courage.
“I used magic on her.”
“Is that so?” Kendrick opens one of her eyes. “Satisfying. You seem to be getting the hang of it,” she yawns, “honestly I thought that book I gave you was more of a paperweight, but you must’ve taken something in.”
“It didn’t work,” I tell her, trying not to remember how it felt to think I could make a difference only to be proved wrong. I think my wrist is bruising where Mom grabbed me. “It didn’t work, she had a weird hand and-” I can’t help it, tears are escaping down my face again, I-
“Okay, okay,” Kendrick’s hands are on my shoulders, “what can I say? You’re okay, aren’t you?”
“I t-think,” I hold up my hand, “she grabbed me, said she would take me back, and my w-w-wrist really hurts, and I think she killed Tyson, so…”
Her sweater muffles anything else I have to say. She’s not very good at hugs, she feels like a gym bag full of coat hangers, but she knows how long to hold on for, and when to let go.
“She still around?” Kendrick asks as she lets me go.
“I think so,” I nod, “she fell but-”
“Good,” she rolls her shoulder and throws her carpet bag into her lap. “This 'weird hand’ whatever it is, might stand up to magic, but if I had to guess…” she starts fishing in the clinking depths of weapons with both arms, “…a perfectly mundane bullet should do the trick nicely.”
“I guess, I mean, you shouldn’t…” I don’t know if it’s true or not, or if it’s how I feel.
“Shouldn’t what?” Kendrick asks, “Marion more than owes me a favor. We can cover up the disappearance of one woman, even if she is foreign.”
“Yeah, but-” I start, until I see Marion returning through the thinning fog.
“F-false alarm,” Castor says, “we think Tyson’s been very l-lucky.”
“Tyson?” I ask as he steps into the lighthouse and closes the door behind him.
“Yeah,” he scratches his head, clothes stained a little from the blood, “I think I’m okay.”
“He’s unharmed and he has Excalibur,” Marion says as Tyson holds it up to show us.
“How can he be okay?” Kendrick asks, “Did the cliff-side break his fall?”
“Don’t act so disappointed,” Tyson says, “it’ll take more than that.”
“But, you’re like,” I’m looking him over, trying to figure out if he’s limping or bruised, “totally fine?”
“Yeah,” Tysons laughs, “it was crazy, it-”
“He claims,” Marion says, interrupting, “that he was caught.”
Walk Not The Earth
Agatha
“Come out, Agatha,”
“Shan’t.” My reply to Drucilla echoes around the cupboard I’ve picked.
“You can’t stay in there forever,” she says. “Listen…I’ve already smoothed things over with Lord Marten.”
“Good for you.” Can’t admit to being grateful. She’d lord it over me for god knows how long. Not that she doesn’t already.
“Do you expect some sympathy?” Her voice rumbles through the dark wood. I stare at inside of the door and imagine her standing on the other side. “Unlike you, I have goals,” she explains, “and I’ve had to take a great deal of time out of my apprenticeship with the governess to tidy up your mess.”
“What a shame, losing out on an opportunity to coddle more spoiled brats.” I extend my leg to bang on the cupboard door, shaking a curtain of dust loose from the ceiling, “You must be devastated.”
The silence sits for a while, punctured by a long, low sigh.
“I know you think Lord Marten won’t dismiss you,” she says, “but you can’t stay on like…” Something interrupts her, possibly some toady tapping on her the shoulder. “I have to go. You…the world isn’t going to change just because of your stubbornness.”
She likes the sound of her own voice, and I’ve known her to pretend to walk away just to get the last word.
But her footsteps are getting further away. And the silence is rushing in again.
It seems ridiculous, trapped in here like this for telling the truth to someone important.
I wait for as long as I need, pick myself up and unlock the door.
Never liked the nights in the manor. Too many memories of running up and down, telling ghost stories, hide and seek, making up stories about the people in the portraits.
The hell of it is, she’s probably right.
All the cleaners are new.
Mum’s in the ground, Hecuba’s gone. Engaged, her letter said. Didn’t bother to enclose an invite to anything. Or at least, not for me.
No way I’m sleeping, so I head for the conservatory. Not sure I believe Drucilla about smoothing things over, either.
Manor’s quiet, no sign of Drucilla leaving, or anyone else, really. Better that way.
The dead of night’s always cold, dark. Nobody wants it, so I’ll stake my claim.
Never liked the flowers and bushes here, either. Not since I saw them ripping up the ground, cropping the roots to fit in their pots.
There’s an idea. Maybe I could pick up some gardening.
The gate’s locked, but of course, I have the key.
I step out into the cold. Part of me wants to put words to the idea that’s buzzing around inside me. Just running away.
I have two arms and two legs, don’t I? And I’m still young, not that it feels that way, I could…
A rough shadow by the edge of the grounds catches my eye, and the idea makes more sense.
I could run away, but it doesn’t have to be far.
I pick my way down the grassy slope, riddled with roots, to the groundskeeper’s cottage.
It’s just a hut, really. Seen him a few times, making his way around the woods, making sure none of the wildlife intrudes on the manor grounds.
He has a dog. And a gun.
There’s a little square hole, and some flickering light coming from inside.
Yes, some stupid part of me feels like hesitating, getting over-emotional.
The thought stops my hand inches from the wood.
What if he just tells me to bog off?
Then I’m back to where I started, staring up at the bunk above me in the servant’s quarters.
Never really thought of them like that before.
My hands slips, and by instinct, I follow up the first knock with two more.
Silence, a breath of wind, and then a bark, almost like a wheeze.
And the door creaks open.
“Oh, uh…” He’s not quite rubbing sleep from his eyes with those giant hairy hands. If I had to guess from his breath, I’d say he’d been drinking. The red bags under his eyes and the drooping jowls make him look like the dog that peers, growling from around his leg. “One of the maids, Agatha, is it?”
It’s dark, and I didn’t think to bring a light. I suppose he can make out my face, anyway.
“Yes. You’re…Kendrick, aren’t you?” It stings for a second, thinking about the best way to explain myself. “Sorry to bother you.”
“No bother.” His smile, jagged and yellow, grows around the edges. “No bother. Everything all right up at the house, miss? Only, I heard some commotion, thought better of stomping all the way up and disturbing the fine folk, but-”
“I’m the commotion,” I tell him, “and I know this will make me sound like…I can’t be a maid anymore, things are…”
I can feel myself losing control of my breath, tears are forcing their way up my throat.
“Thinking of staying the night?” He chuckles, moving aside to make a path into his cabin and soothing his dog with a huge hand on his head, “haven’t much else to offer, I’m afraid, but I’m no stranger to the Lord’s temper if that’s what you’re fearin’.”
“Temper?” I ask as I step inside, the warmth of a simple stone fireplace washing over me, “you know him?”
“Aye. We were quite the pair, once,” he says as he eases the door closed, nudging it with his foot where the wood doesn’t quite fit the frame. “Always wondered what he was up to, keeping you around,” Kendrick says, settling back into a wooden rocking chair, “not to say he should’ve been rid of you, it’s just, I heard him complain over rumors around your parentage,” he shakes his hand at me, “more’n a few times.”
“Oh.” I take a small chair by the table and drag it closer to the fire. The dog watches me, ears dangling as it raises its head.
Shouldn’t pretend that any of this was a surprise to me. “I came here for something.”
“I’ll give what I can,” he says, staring into the fire, “although it’s not much.”
“Drucilla, my sister,” it sounds stupid, when the word “sister” makes me think more of Hecuba, “she’s an apprentice governess.”
“Aye, I heard,” Kendrick nods his head, “spending less time at the manor.”
“I think I need something too, more skills than just…” I look down at my hands, all bony and paper thin in the firelight, “tidying up. I can’t stand big houses or lords. And I know it’s an imposition, but, could I be…your apprentice? There has to be a need for groundskeepers, and…I like your dog.”
He just laughs.
“He likes you,” Kendrick says as his dog sniffs across my knees, almost snorting with the effort. “As for an apprentice? Have to say, never thought about it. It’s no’ easy, you know. Spend most of my time out in the forest. You’d have to learn how to shoot…” He rubs his chin, “aye, all right,” he nods, “move your things down here tomorrow morning, I’ll teach you the paths.”
“Oh…thank you.” It’s all I can think to say. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet,” he grunts, “forest’s no’ for everyone.”
Megan
“Could be useful,” Kendrick says as she cleans the lens of the gas mask with her fingers, “it smells like @&#^”.
It’s dumb I suppose, but at some point the sound of the honk sound she makes when she tries to swear became comforting. I mean, no-one else makes that sound.
Marion and Castor are leading the way down the lighthouse stairs, out into what’s left of the day.
The fog’s fading, but the town is still silent.
At least I think we understand where we’re going again.
There’s a path down the cliff-side, it’s grass at the moment, but there’s an opening up ahead. Never would’ve seen it from up above.
This can’t be far from where Mom fell. I probably shouldn’t think about that.
“What’s going to happen to the people?” I ask Kendrick, watching the clouds burn from inside with the sunset.
“Who knows,” she shrugs, “the Somnologist’s Guild might be paying enough attention to get them out, but there are the rest of the Dreamers, too.” she whistles. “Most of them are after us, or running ahead into the open earth. If I had to guess, I’d say there are plenty that’ve filtered out into the countryside. I’ll be getting easy jobs for weeks.”
“Yeah, so…these guys are all over?” The darkness of the cave cuts out the warmth of the sky in an instant.
“Aye,” Kendrick says with a shrug, “or no, they’re not that organized, it just happens a lot. You try some magic, you burn out, you get depressed, if you don’t have someone looking out for you. It’s easy to end up like them, running around in the yellow pajamas they hand out, tagging along with the first scheme you can remember anyone mentions to you.”
“Oh.” Without the sound of wind, all I can hear in my ears is hissing silence. “I guess I didn’t really think about their…person-ness.”
There’s another issue for the stack.
I definitely set some of them on fire. Hurt them, maybe even killed them.
I would’ve done the same thing to Mom, too.
The ground’s uneven and wet, little trickles of running water sparkle in what’s left of the light. Sorta reminds me of lights down the aisles in a movie theater. It’s probably tacky of me to compare something beautiful and natural to a place you’d find garbage and fast food.
“It hasn’t hit you yet,” Kendrick sighs, “I have to admit, this is something I really hoped I’d never share,” she says, looking up at the invisible cave roof in the darkness, “but, it’s really the only thing about living I feel like I know.”
“What?” my voice matches hers, wondering if she means something that Tyson, tagging along behind Castor, shouldn’t hear.
“It’ll break you down if you let it,” she sighs, “killing, I mean, there’s nothing spiritual about it. It’s instinct, that’s all. You’ll feel bad, you’ll get over it, everybody does, they just do it at different speeds. If you hadn’t popped those f@*#&s, we’d all be dead right now, not that Marion would admit it.”
“Okay,” I tell her, watching Castor’s back in the dark.
I don’t know if she’s right, but I don’t think I want to be the sort of person who “gets over it”.
“It’s a lot to take in,” she says, still not meeting my eyes, “so just remember this. Unless you’ve got ice in your veins, which we know you don’t, the most dangerous thing an opponent can have on you is humanity. We’re fighting for our lives here, Meg, don’t give it up for some @#$* in banana pajamas.”
“Yeah,” I nod. It’s not that I think she’s right, she might not be, I don’t know, but I don’t have the energy to argue.
Would we really all be dead if I hadn’t thrown that fire? I’m not sure if it was there before, but a part of me wants to say it was a good trade.
But I also appreciate that you can’t measure people’s worth like that. Even if you could, I don’t have the right.
I guess the real question is, if it comes down to them and me again, will I able to do the same thing?
Or…
If I don’t, will I just die? Something about it feels closer than ever. Death, I mean.
Not in a bad way, just…closer. Like, it would mean that the ache in my arms, the tight, sickly feeling of empty nausea in my stomach, the fear of a future full of things I don’t understand, they’d all be gone.
I almost chuckle.
If it’s not so bad, then what’s the big deal about boiling all those guys?
I’m just thinking myself in circles again, so I glance around in the darkness, looking for something to take my mind off things.
We’re going toward the sea, by the way. And this is a cliff. We should’ve just walked out into open air by now.
I’m going to assume this is another Fold thing.
Maybe I could ask Castor about it, but even though my steps get longer, I’m second guessing myself. He hasn’t said much since the lighthouse. Sucks for him, I guess. Do you think he was expecting all this stuff when he signed up to help Marion?
“Hey,” Tyson slows down to whisper to me, “how come nobody cares?”
“Huh?” I look over at him, eyes straining a little to make him out in the surrounding gloom, “about what?”
“The, like…the fall thing?” he says.
“I guess?” I shrug at him, “You’re like, alive? What difference does it make? Maybe Excalibur can do that, levitate you or something. I don’t think Lance ever fell, so I don’t think it ever got tested. Marion said you were yelling about somebody catching you.”
“Somebody did!” Tyson’s voice echoes around the tunnel, “I swear, it was super weird, I felt it for like, a second, maybe halfway down, then I was on the ground. Didn’t see anybody, it was like, then I’m there, I’m fine!”
“Unusual,” Marion says. I have to admit, I almost jumped. Guess I didn’t expect him to say anything when nobody’s talking to him, “but an issue for another time.”
“So…” I keep my voice down and hope Marion can’t hear, “why d’you jump out like that?”
Probably not a good idea to push him like this, but I feel like we really need to persuade him to stop doing stuff like that.
“Like what?” Tysons says with a shrug. “She was a bad guy, right? What’s the harm? No way we would’ve stayed hidden in there.”
“She would’ve talked to me,” I tell him, “we didn’t have to fight.”
“You set her on fire!” His voice does exactly what I didn’t want and carries through the tunnel, “So what, your fancy powers mean you can do anything you want, but I don’t get to do anything?
“That’s not what I mean,” I sigh, “it’s just, you kind of-”
“What?” Tyson hisses, trying to keep his voice down again, “I’m here, I matter, get used to it.”
“Okay.” I’m not exactly going to argue. In fact, I should probably try to change the subject “Where are we actually going?” I ask out loud, hoping to get some new information to take Tyson’s mind off things.
“We’ll camp once I’m confident of our location,” Marion replies, “Castor’s mapping of the caverns that emerge with the Grail are somewhat vague.”
Are we in a cavern? I guess it’s too dark to get any idea of how big this cave really is.
“Should I…” my voice catches in my throat, “…like, make some light? Would that help?”
Yeah, I asked before I knew if I could. My mind races, trying to figure out if I remember anything beyond the Biting Sparks. I guess I could look at my notes, but-
