Call Me Mr Smith, page 25
part #6 of The Fallen World Series
https://chriskennedypublishing.com/philip-s-bolger/.
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The following is an
Excerpt from Book One of The Shadow Lands:
Shadow Lands
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Lloyd Behm, II
Now Available from Blood Moon Press
eBook and Paperback
Excerpt from “Shadow Lands:”
The combatants, for lack of a better term, were both resting at the edges of the dance floor. To the left was a very butch-looking blonde in what looked to be purple leather, along with her entourage, while to the right, a petite, dark-skinned Hispanic in a princess outfit stood, surrounded by meat popsicles wrapped in leather. Vampire fashions make no damn sense to me, for what it’s worth. There were a few ‘normals’ huddled against the far wall, which showed signs of someone’s face being run along it, repeatedly. Sure enough, the London ‘Special’ was in the DJ booth. He killed the sound as soon as he realized we were standing there.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce the final players in our little drama, the Reinhumation Specialists of the Quinton Morris Group!” the Special said into the mike.
“Fuck me running,” I said.
“With a rusty chainsaw,” Jed finished.
The two groups of vampires turned to face us.
“Remind me to kick Michael in his balls when we get back to the office,” I said.
“You’re going to have to get in line behind me to do it,” Jed replied.
“You can leave now, mortals,” the blonde said with a slight German accent. She had occult patterns tattooed around her eyes, which had to be a bitch, because she would have had to have them redone every six months or so. Vampires heal.
“Like, fershure, this totally doesn’t involve you,” the Hispanic said, her accent pure San Fernando Valley.
“Jed, did I ever tell you how I feel about Valley Girls?” I asked, raising my voice.
“No…”
“Can’t live with ‘em, can’t kill ‘em,” I replied, swinging my UMP up and cratering the Valley vampire’s chest with three rounds into the fragile set of blood vessels above the heart. Sure, the pump still works, but there’s nothing connected to it for what passes as blood in a vampire to spread. On top of that, company-issue bullets are frangible silver, to which vampires have an adverse reaction.
With that, the dance was on. The damn Special in the DJ booth at least had the good sense to put on Rammstein. Mien Teil came thundering out of the speakers as we started killing vampires. Gunny ran his M1897 Trench Gun dry in five shots, dropped it to hang by a patrol sling, and switched to his ancient, family 1911. I ran my UMP dry on Valley Vamp’s minions, then dropped the magazine and reloaded in time to dump the second full magazine into the Butch Vampire as she leaped toward the ceiling to clear the tables between us and the dance floor. As soon as Butch Vamp went down, the remaining vampires froze.
“Glamour,” the Special called, stepping out of the booth. “I can control a lot of lesser vampires, but not until you got those two randy cunts thinking about how much they hurt.”
“You. Fucking. Asshole,” I panted.
Combat is cardio, I don’t care what anyone else says.
“Yes?” he replied.
I looked him over. He was wearing a red zoot suit—red-pegged trousers and a long red jacket with wide shoulders over the ubiquitous white peasant shirt, topped with a red, wide-brimmed hat. He even had on red-tinted glacier glasses.
I felt his mind try to probe mine, then beamed as he bounced off.
“My that hurt,” he replied.
“You know, we don’t work with Michelangelo for nothing,” Jed replied. Apparently the mind probe had been general, not specific.
I went through the messy side of the business—staking and beheading—assisted by Capdepon. Crash helped Jed sort out the normal survivors, followed by prepping the live lesser vampires for transport. The Special leaned against a wall, maintaining control of the lesser vampires until we could move them out. Once all the work was done so the cleaners could move in, and the lesser vampires were moved out of Eyelash, I stepped wearily to the Special.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“You can call me,” he paused dramatically, “Tim.”
I kicked him in the nuts with a steel-toed boot. Even in the undead, it’s a sensitive spot.
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Get “Shadow Lands” now at: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KX8GHYX/.
Find out more about Lloyd Behm, II and “Shadow Lands” at:
https://chriskennedypublishing.com/imprints-authors/lloyd-behm-ii/.
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Alex Rath, Call Me Mr Smith
