Prince Roderick Meets A Wolf, page 29
“What are they saying?” Philip asked.
Serilda curled her lips into a smile. “They are saying that Prince Charming has finally met someone who can save him.” She pointed at Jack, and then to Philip, to make clear exactly who the people involved were. “And they are so very pleased. To give you an example, I spoke to three people at the inn where I am staying. The cook told me that she believes this is the love that will stick, that the two of you will bond over adventures, where polite damsels have never held your interest.
“The innkeeper confided in me that he had heard rumours, that perhaps women had never held Prince Charming’s fancy, and that perhaps you have been waiting for the right man to be your husband, someone you were confident the kingdom would find worthy. He was of the opinion it is about damn time. The bartender was of the same opinion, although he lamented the lack of cute little Charming Juniors.”
“Ah,” Philip said. “So, they are…”
“Very supportive,” Serilda finished. “If you intend not to go forward with a relationship, then do not use your people as an excuse. They adore you, and they wish to fawn over a royal wedding, in whatever form it takes.”
“Well,” Philip managed, sounding choked. “I suppose it is not the worst idea.” He deliberately set about choosing a pastry as a way of signalling an end to the topic, even if it left them with that entirely ambiguous end to the debate.
“No one is saying anyone has to do anything,” Goldilocks repeated, a tad unnecessarily. “Not yet, anyway. But it is nice to see that everyone is so supportive, right?”
“As opposed to running us out of the kingdom with pitchforks?” Jack asked. “Yes, that is nice.”
Goldilocks frowned at that, appearing genuinely puzzled. “Why on earth would anyone run after you with a farming tool?” Her expression brightened and she leaned forward. “Is there some sort of legend I have not heard that spells doom if a man sleeps with another man? Like some infamous murderous gang who all slept together? Ooh, or some curse people think will befall them if sex does not have a chance of creating a baby?”
Her four companions were absolutely bewildered. Roderick, surprisingly, was the first to recover—or at least the first to think of a response. “Goldilocks, I thought you understood that people disapprove of men being with other men, ahem, sexually. You said so when you thought that I…” He waved his hand in the general direction between the two of them. “There are no curses–” That any of them knew of. “– it is just not well liked.”
She nodded slowly, miming as if she understood. “Oh, I know some people can be odd about it, but I thought perhaps there was some greater reason, since you all seemed so sure.”
Serilda snorted. “People are just odd.” Which seemed to sum it up fairly well.
“All the more reason to get married, then,” Goldilocks decided. “That way you can make it accepted throughout the kingdom, and other men can marry, too. If Prince Charming marries a man, no one will have any reason to feel strangely about it anymore.” She paused a little too long, the addition she made next so obviously reluctant that Roderick briefly wondered if someone had had to kick her under the table to prompt it. “When you are ready, of course.”
Philip decided to fall back on his usual diplomacy, even if it was entirely lost on the thief. “If we do decide to marry, you will be the first we will tell.”
“Do not worry about it,” Goldilocks replied, waving her hand dismissively. “Tell your family first. Then you can tell me.” The prince’s annoyance seemed entirely lost on her. She turned her attention back to the cakes, browsing through the selection before carefully picking a pink, iced delicacy out of the pile. Almost offhand, she changed the subject. “So, Wolf, has Roderick told you he can talk to animals?”
“Oh?” Serilda replied, turning her intense gaze on Roderick.
“I have no idea what she is referring to,” he replied, almost automatically. He had spent weeks trying to pretend he did not understand everything an animal said in his vicinity. It did not occur to him that he might not continue that denial.
Serilda raised a single sceptical eyebrow.
“I may have some idea of what she is referring to.”
“It is an unusual ability,” Serilda commented, her tone mild. “Although it does explain how you managed to keep track of a single frog. If you are embarrassed because talking to animals is traditionally a gift reserved for princesses in the stories, then… do not be.”
“I had not considered that until you mentioned it,” Roderick replied, mildly horrified because it was true; in the tales, every princess seemed to have befriended an animal or two. But no prince ever had the same ability to understand animals.
“Well,” Serilda said. “Um. Forget I mentioned it?” It was a rare moment of embarrassment for a woman likened to a wolf, and inarguably one of the most dangerous people in the kingdom.
Roderick let out a long sigh. “It… it is fine. I am not embarrassed that I can understand animals,” he said, then paused, because that was not strictly true. “I am not overly embarrassed,” he amended. “I simply do not wish to discuss it.” Another pause, and then the absolute truth. “Nothing any of them say is worth hearing. Nothing. The horses hate me, the goose thinks she is the next Queen, and the squirrels talk about the filthiest topics.”
Serilda took this in metaphorical stride. “So, there will be no royal pets in our future, then?”
Roderick took her comment in the exact way it was intended—as a thinly veiled flirt and assumption of future royal marriage. “I would say not. And most definitely not any squirrels.”
EPILOGUE
Happily Ever Afters
In which the various quests are over and done with, our protagonists have been reunited, and the long, complex lives that followed are summed up all too briefly as ‘happily ever after’.
Epilogue 1
Rapunzel Does Not Need Another Tower
A castle is an improvement over a tower without doors, certainly, but that improvement is not always as staggering as a princess might hope. Rapunzel could consciously accept her new life as a princess, with two sisters she was growing to adore, but her parents less so. She missed Charming and Roderick, and spent weeks without hearing any news, worrying about them. No amount of letters that she sent (and she sent a great many) helped ease her worry.
She followed Aurora and Odette about, much as she had Charming and Roderick in her first stay in a castle. Neither were quite sure what to do with the half-wild, partially-magical new sister they had acquired, but they made a valiant effort. They threw parties and taught her to sew, and played games with her.
Her parents were less sure how to deal with the half-wild, sort-of princess. Etiquette lessons were slow going, and her tutors were still trying to map out what she did and did not know (which was a haphazard scattering of things, with no apparent reason for what her captor, the governess, had taught her, and what she had not). There was also the matter of marriage. Odette and Aurora had been engaged almost since birth, but even if Rapunzel still had a fiancé—she did not, all potential suitors having already been engaged to others in the years she was missing—it was a rare person who might have an interest in a girl who had not known the first thing about being a princess before she arrived home, and knew only a little more now. Hardly a marriageable princess if ever anyone saw one.
Understandably, after having to arrange a hodgepodge of different tutors for the different levels of her learning, and being entirely depressed by her slow progress with etiquette and her own wilfulness, her parents were at their wits end. (Not to mention having to arrange a special barber for her unique hair cutting needs, with an endless challenge to make her hair presentable at all times, no matter how long it has been growing.) It was a relief when Rapunzel’s endless letters finally received a reply. Prince Charming was no longer a frog, and everyone was home safe.
Not long after they heard rumours of an unconventional royal marriage, but that was ignored as unimportant gossip. (If there was a wedding, there would be a royal invite, no doubt. This was discussed with a complete lack of irony, given that no such royal invite had been sent by them for Aurora’s wedding.) It did, however, prompt the Waterleaf King and Queen to consider that it was possible it was too late for a conventional approach to their youngest daughter. What sort of approach was appropriate was not something they could guess.
Over the course of a week, her parents worked up to broaching the subject, eventually ending in an entirely awkward conversation—awkward for them, it should be said; Rapunzel rather enjoyed being asked what she wanted. Both her parents, despite having discussed it at length beforehand, were still behaving as if they were facing an army rather than their strange teenage daughter.
“We have been talking,” her mother began, “and we wonder if perhaps you would appreciate some say in how to proceed. Given the unusualness of the situation, we are considering an unusual response.”
Rapunzel was aware this was her parents’ attempt at politely asking her what she wanted to do, and saying they did not much mind if she came up with an unprincessly answer. It was all just very out of the blue. The only thing about being a princess that she would never be happy with was the idea of being a pretty bird in a gilded cage. “I never want to be put in a tower again,” she answered.
“Of course not!” her father declared, his face set in the commanding King visage that he held so often, as if he was ready to make it law that instant that such a thing could never happen. If nothing else could be said of the Waterleaf King, he most definitely loved his daughters. “You will never be imprisoned again, in any way.”
That last part was improvised, but when Rapunzel leapt up to hug him, muttering “thank you thank you thank you” against his shoulder, it was decided.
Which led, bizarrely, to her father suggesting she take up fencing and archery, and to be given full permission to travel wherever she wished in the kingdom—accompanied, of course, by what soon became fondly referred to as the Princess’s Guard. A Guard of ten highly trained men and women, they were chosen for warm personalities as much as their fighting skills, and each and every one carried a pair of scissors, in case of adventure and the accompanying hair problems.
Epilogue 2
A Palace is Just Right
There was very little fault to find in a palace, Goldilocks decided. Sure, the magical goose was never going to warm to her, and the King and Queen were not welcoming her as the daughter they always wanted. Mostly, they seemed more bewildered by her than anything, given her lack of romantic ties to either prince, along with her unwavering presence in the palace.
She got along very well—very well—with the palace cooking staff, who were flattered by her ongoing and very vocal appreciation of their efforts. She also became rather infamous among the knights and the King’s Guard for her vast knowledge of raunchy (and often hilarious) tales.
She made herself at home in the palace, determined never to leave again. After all, it was a palace. What else could she want?
Epilogue 3
A New Adventure Begins
The rumours of marriage were persistent, no matter how often Prince Charming denied them. His parents seemed not to believe him either, spending an embarrassing amount of time trying to convince him to at least marry another prince or a nobleman, not some commoner. (Charming was not entirely sure which part of that particular conversation bothered him more; that they would prefer someone of noble blood regardless of the gender, or that they had spent years arguing the point that a male partner was politically impossible, and then dropped it at the first rumour of romance with a heroic commoner.)
It was perhaps not a surprise at all, then, that the first hint of a quest—a sea monster suspected of sinking fishing boats off the coast—had Charming packing a bag and saddling a horse before the day was over. Similarly unsurprising was that Jack, also restless, and out of place amongst royalty, was quick to follow.
They returned months later, looking entirely too pleased with themselves, even accounting for the death of a sea monster. They also had not quite shaken off the new habit of casual touches between the both of them. The serving staff did not bother to hide their approval of any happiness the beloved crown prince found.
There were also a great many preemptive wedding gifts that arrived near daily, ranging from the hand crafted to more expensive bejewelled rings sent by noble families who seemed comfortable to send it either in total seriousness or amused teasing, depending how it was received. It did not go unnoticed that the denials had all but disappeared after that particular monster slaying adventure.
The common consensus was that it was a very big commitment for two men to make, particularly two who were often distracted by heroic adventures. Everyone agreed they would marry eventually, and no one was especially bothered if they were together unwed—indeed, the lack of children for either of the extremely handsome men was a much tougher thing to accept (and was hotly debated, with a great many people suggesting that adoption or mistresses were an easy solution)—because it seemed entirely worth it for two very noble, very well liked men to find love, even if it was perhaps not in the way anyone had expected (excepting a few who heard rumours of Prince Charming’s preferences and believed them, and who were now quite smug).
One day there would be a royal marriage between two men, but until then everyone was entirely happy to wait. With, perhaps, a great deal of hinting and expectation and quiet cooing when they saw the prince together with the prince-to-be. One day.
Epilogue 4
A Wolf Among Royalty
The King and Queen accepted Serilda with much less fuss than Roderick expected. (He remembered the conversation about Jack, and particularly the importance of noble blood for the partner of a prince.) That she walked among the court as if she owned it may have had something to do with it. She was surprisingly knowledgeable of court politics and had an air of command that seemed to cement in the minds of those who met her that she was some strange princess from a distant, foreign land.
In point of fact, when the King and Queen were introduced to her, and defeatedly accepted this unknown woman as a future member of the family, they suggested that such a backstory would make things easier. Roderick, after all, was not Prince Charming. His choice of partner would not be forgiven as readily as his brother’s. (Roderick was not entirely convinced by this, as he wondered if anyone would notice his choice of partner at all.)
Serilda took the suggestion in stride, and almost overnight a complex backstory for the odd, beautiful woman had made the rounds of the palace (and perhaps beyond). Something about a hidden queendom and magical doorways. It was assumed Roderick already knew her background, so he never got the complete story. (He did, however, hear the story of a magical horn, a secret he wisely kept to himself. Some magics are best left secret, especially when one’s future bloodline might be uniquely capable of using said magic, and most especially when such a magic might incriminate one’s beloved in the murder of three noblemen.)
Given she was supposedly a princess, her stay in the palace, even in another wing, was apparently unseemly beyond six months—or so the Queen declared. (It was entirely possible she simply wanted one of her sons to be married before a decade passed.) Roderick had spent those months having it proven on a near daily basis that, yes, he was happy with the courtship with Serilda, and time seemed only to make him all the more certain of his feelings for her.
After some prompting about making things official and making an honest woman of Serilda (which seemed an entirely ridiculous and contradictory statement about Wolf), Roderick sought out Serilda for an official proposal. It was perhaps no surprise at all that, two words in—those two words being “I wish”, which could not have told her much at all—Serilda smiled a predatory smile and asked him, “Will you marry me?”
He said yes, of course, although he was distracted for a few moments wondering if his mother had spoken to her as well. Serilda beamed, the predatory twist to her smile gone and replaced with bright warmth. She threw her arms around him and kissed him.
The wedding was filled with an excessive amount of fanfare that left both bride and groom uncomfortable, and three guests somehow managed to steal the spotlight of the couple—a beloved crown prince, his heroic maybe-future-husband, and a goose that flapped her wings when the couple kissed and laid an egg of pure gold that every guest found entirely more interesting than the second prince and the new princess kissing.
Their wedding day remained a source of wry amusement long after (and not simply because a goose celebrated the marriage by laying a golden egg). But unrelated to that one specific day, a day in which people had drunk to an excess and two men and a bird had been the most important attendees of a wedding that was not their own, Roderick and Serilda found a lot of love for one another in the years that followed. There was always more to find, it seemed, like an infinite mine.
So it was that, in a grand simplification of life itself, two princes, a princess with absurdly long hair, a Wolf, a thief, and a giant slayer lived happily most of the time after.
THE END
Other Books By This Author
The Herophobia Series (completed)
Book 1: Herophobia
Book 2: Compulsion
Book 3: Misanthropy
Alex Lane, Prince Roderick Meets A Wolf
