Silver Lining, page 17
His turquoise stare focused on me. “Lena, whatever this is between us is special. I’ve never felt this way.”
No, because you’re a baby.
I didn’t say that.
“Give it twelve more years.”
He sat taller. “I’m hardly a virgin.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
His gaze drilled into me. “Have you? Felt this way? You have the twelve years. Tell me, am I just another man in a long succession…?”
I sat up against the headboard. “No and yes. There have been many men. I won’t lie to you.” Inhaling, I looked down at my hands and back up, fearful to admit that CJ was special, but also unwilling to lie to him. “You’re right. There’s something about you that’s different—special. I haven’t investigated my feelings enough to know what that is.” Squaring my shoulders, I pulled a blanket over my breasts. “Listen to me. You’re a good man. I trust you. I feel like I can be open around you. With you, I’m free to think and do what I may not otherwise do, but that doesn’t trump the fact that I’m not a good person. I’ve put my success over everything and everyone. CJ…” No. “Chandler, you shouldn’t be tied down with a woman like me. Look for someone your own age, someone without a history of destruction. Please stay with Architech.”
Sitting up, he untangled himself from the blankets and stood. In two strides he was at the large windows. Beyond the panes, the sky was filling with a light blue. Turning my way, CJ gave me a full-frontal view of his sculptured, Adonis-like body complete with the erect appendage.
Before I could give that more thought, he spoke.
“Didn’t you say that you and Jeremy have a history…an intimate history?”
I shrugged. “Yes, but it’s only been a physical thing. Our friendship isn’t about sex.”
“What did you say his role has shifted into at Montgomery Holdings?”
Trying to recall my words, I finally said, “An independent contractor. That isn’t the way it always plays out legally…taxes and all.”
CJ’s face lightened, his smile brightening. “I don’t want to be employed by Venus. I want to be a subcontractor. I’ll work for myself, just as I’ve done. I’ll offer my services to Venus in an overseeing role with Architech.”
I shook my head. “Jeremy and I don’t come home to one another every night.”
CJ was back by the bed, sitting at my side. “Are you saying that’s what you’d like, to come home to one another?”
“Yes. No.” I lifted my hands to my face and sighed. “It would never work. I’m an awful person. When I’m mad, I’m explosive. When I’m stressed, I overwork and under sleep. I’ve been known to eat too little and drink too much. I’m up every morning before dawn working out, and I appreciate my alone time.”
“I’m all for working out in the morning,” he smiled. “Today’s workout was especially enjoyable. We buy a house big enough for us to have our own space.”
As much as I was intrigued by what CJ was proposing, there was another pressing matter. That of my stalker. That of my life.
My gaze met CJ’s. “If he wins... If whoever is stalking me succeeds, I want you to know that you are my silver lining in all this mess. You have made my final weeks and hours unforgettable.”
CJ stood. “Don’t talk that way. You’re not allowed to discuss your final weeks and hours until you’re ninety-five and I’m eighty-three. Women live longer, you know?”
Getting out of the bed, I placed my hands on CJ’s strong arm, lifted myself to my tiptoes, and brushed his cheek with a kiss. “I mean it. Thank you.”
“Lena.”
“I’m going to shower.”
“Coffee?”
I nodded. “I saw you had yogurt. Once I’m showered and dressed, it is time to face real life.”
“You’re not facing it alone.”
“I am. It’s how I’ve always been.”
CJ reached for my hand. “Not now. I’m not negotiating. You’re more important than Architech. Until this person is found, you’re stuck with me. I didn’t send that tweet, but you know what? Since it’s out there, fuck them. I, Chandler Johns Thompson, am in an undefined relationship with you, Lena Montgomery.”
“Lena Anne,” I said, unable to stop sharing.
He tugged me closer, pulling me against his chest. I needed to crane my neck upward to see his turquoise stare. “Lena Anne, this is me taking the reins, if only for a moment.”
The conviction in his voice, in every word, resonated through me, through my circulation, into every cell.
“I don’t care how badass you are or need to be. Sometimes it’s nice to be able to let your guard down. You can do that with me. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. I’ll never think less of you or believe you’re less because you enjoy the freedom of submission.”
I laughed. “CJ, I’m not submissive.”
“Neither am I. But I can share and so far, you’ve shown me a willingness to do the same.”
“I-I…” The realization hit that what CJ was saying had more than a grain of truth. I took a deep breath as I stepped away. “Shower. Coffee. Then real life.”
Making my way into the attached bathroom, I met my reflection.
My fingers skirted over the pinkened splotches on my skin. My mind filled with the cause—CJ’s scratchy jaw and cheeks, and the way his attentions abraded my flesh while at the same time bringing me pleasure.
CJ was special.
I could admit that to myself in my own head.
I’d admitted it to him because if the stalker wasn’t stopped, I didn’t want to die without CJ knowing the truth. Holding back tears that I rarely shed, I went to the glass stall and turned on the shower.
With my face under the hot spray, I gave in.
Into the realization that I may have met the man I could share the rest of my life with.
Into the reality that it could be too late.
Into the grasp that my quest for success was at the root of my stalker’s motivation.
Into the understanding that accepting CJ’s offer—or demand—would put him in danger.
Into the decision that I needed to sever whatever this was that we had.
Into the anguish that I didn’t want it to end.
Those and other thoughts overwhelmed me as I succumbed to the mass of all I’d done. Funny, I’d carried the weight forever without feeling the burden, and now, as the walls around my heart crumbled, the load felt too heavy to bear.
I was lost in my thoughts not hearing the bathroom door open or noticing that I was no longer alone. With tears in my eyes, misery in my heart, and terror in my thoughts, as the large hand reached for my shoulder, I screamed. My self-defense training came back as the butt of my palm shot toward his nose.
Chapter Thirty-Two
CJ
“Whoa,” I said, ducking and narrowly avoiding a broken nose. Quick reactions and years of bad softball pitches had taught me well.
“CJ.” Lena’s eyes opened wide as she began to tremble. “I’m sorry.”
Wrapping her in my arms, Lena collapsed against me, her body shuddering with sobs. For more time than I knew, I held her, my lioness. There were many things I didn’t know about Lena Montgomery, things I was willing to learn. However, what I did know, in the depth of my soul, was that the woman in Cancún was the real Lena. The woman in the boardroom was the real Lena. This woman, the one whose anguish cut at my heart, wasn’t. Or at least she wasn’t the woman Lena often allowed to be seen.
As her breathing evened, I reached for a small bottle of shampoo. Squirting a dollop into the palm of my hand, I took a step back and massaged it into her hair.
“CJ.”
“Shh,” I whispered. “Let me pamper you.”
Turning, she looked up at me with a shattered expression. “I don’t deserve that.”
My cheeks lifted with my grin. “It’s not your decision, Ms. Montgomery. It’s mine.”
I’d never washed or tended to another person, and yet as Lena acquiesced, something within me took over. From the shampoo and conditioner to the bodywash, I cared for her, gently caressing and molding, giving her not only my attention, but offering her my strength.
Once I’d towel dried her hair and had her wrapped in another towel, Lena looked up at me. Her tears had ceased, leaving her eyes red and puffy. “I feel like I say it a lot, but CJ, this isn’t me.”
“You’re multidimensional. I’m absolutely fascinated with each and every one of them.”
With a towel around my waist, I led us to the kitchen where I had a pot of coffee brewing. It was a good thing coffee was a constant at open houses as it was the only thing of substance that we had in abundance.
Sitting at the breakfast bar, I placed a warm mug in front of Lena along with a container of yogurt and a plastic spoon. For the longest time, she sat unmoving.
“I can feed you,” I offered.
It was as if my words brought her out of her thoughts.
“I sold myself.”
“What?”
Lena squared her shoulders. “When I was twenty years old, my parents died in an automobile accident.”
“Lena, I’m…”
She lifted her hand. “Please, CJ, let me tell you who I really am. I want you to understand why you need to leave.”
“I’m not leaving.”
She nodded. “You will.”
I swiveled my stool to give Lena my full attention.
“Have you ever heard of a company called Infidelity?”
“A company? No.”
She smirked. “It no longer exists. Back in its day, it was an escort service, of sorts. Contracts were for a year. They claimed to not sell sex but rather companionship.” She sighed. “They sold sex.”
“You worked for this company?” I asked, trying to wrap my head around what she was saying.
“When my parents died, the two of us were left alone. Since my sister is two years younger, I was supposed to take care of her. No one expects to die at their age, yet our parents were wise. They left us with a substantial life insurance policy and some inheritance. I was young, but I knew what was needed to provide for Madison and me. I met an attorney.” She inhaled. “His name is Logan Butler.”
Lena paused.
I shook my head. “I’ve never heard of him.”
She nodded. “He was in Chicago—is in Chicago. He was supposed to be my knight in shining armor. He promised me the stars, moon, and sky. He was going to invest our money, making Madison and I set for life.”
My stomach twisted. “He didn’t.”
“No,” Lena said, “he didn’t. He also began a relationship with me. I trusted him.” She sat taller. “By the time I realized what he’d done, our money was gone. Madison wanted to study art. I was desperate. I went to Infidelity. They promised housing and what I believed at the time to be a lot of money. My only stipulation was that I wouldn’t be paired with Logan.”
“And what happened?”
“My contract was purchased by a man named Avery Nicholson.”
“I don’t know him,” I said.
Lena shrugged. “Hell, I barely did. He signed the contract, showed proof of an apartment in Chicago where I could live, and paid for the year.”
I fucking hated hearing this story. At the same time, I knew Lena needed to share. If she thought this was going to make me run, she was wrong. “What happened?”
“Nicholson handed me over to Logan Butler. I don’t even know their whole agreement. By purchasing my contract, Avery repaid a debt he had with Butler or something. I never saw him again.” Lena shook her head and lifted her mug of coffee for the first time. “It wasn’t enough for Butler to steal our future; he was determined to ruin me.”
A grin came to my lips. “He failed, Lena. You’re not ruined.”
“It happened more than once, but one night was particularly bad.” She took a drink of the coffee and left the rim of the mug near her lips. “He beat me.”
As she spoke, red like I’d never known infiltrated my thoughts. I didn’t know this man, but I’d happily return the favor.
“I wanted to kill him.” She turned my direction. “I had a gun. I was ready.”
“I believe you. You’re also not in prison. Or is that part of the story?”
“No. A friend, one of the few I have, came to my aid. He got me out of the apartment. Compared to the Butlers, at the time, my friend and I were nothing.” She grinned. “Infidelity no longer exists because my friend and I refused to be nothing.” She shrugged. “We’re both doing okay.”
Okay?
“Would I know your friend’s name?”
“Maybe. If I live, maybe you two could meet.”
“I’d like that.”
“CJ, I picked myself up that night. I had my friend’s help, but I made the decision that nothing would stop me. I’d been dabbling in investing. You see, Logan Butler underestimated me. He made mistakes, leaving accounts open on his laptop, assuming I was too stupid or ignorant to understand. I watched and learned. Life became my teacher. That night I walked away with months remaining on my contract and a few million dollars in overseas accounts.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “You stole from him?”
“I did.”
“Did he ever find out?”
“I think he knew, but we had the goods on him for other indefensible acts. I made it my life’s goal to succeed, to make a name of Lena Montgomery. Recently, I was part of a conspiracy to bring attention to Logan’s brother and sister-in-law.”
“Attention?”
“The SEC received a reliable tip. A grand jury has filed an indictment. There’s no guarantee that they’ll be found guilty, but they should. It’s the publicity that has hurt. Deals that were in progress with Marlin and Gwen Butler have been rescinded. The publicity is affecting Logan too. Until my stalker, I was popping popcorn and watching their world shatter.”
I stood, securing my towel. “It’s got to be them, the people responsible for the fish and candy.”
Lena shook her head. “Logan was our first thought. If he’s doing this, he’s doing it from afar. Logan would also know that Madison isn’t in Missoula. He wouldn’t make that mistake. He’s only the first of people who probably deserves to hate me.” Picking up the plastic spoon, Lena turned to me. “Run, CJ. This is who I am. I’m a thief and a prostitute.”
“Listen to me,” I said. “It sounds to me like you’re a fighter, a survivor, and a winner. You’re a lioness who has had to kill to survive.”
“Murder is one crime I’m not guilty of.”
I reached for Lena’s cheeks and tipped my forehead to hers. “If that story was supposed to scare me away, I’m sorry. You didn’t succeed. I choose to see a strong, successful woman who has had to overcome extreme obstacles.” I kissed her lips. “I’ve been a little busy to follow up on my research about Lena Montgomery, but I’d guess what you just told me isn’t in your biography.”
She shook her head. “Infidelity was…” She inhaled. “They had clients from all walks of life from celebrities and politicians, to royalty and entrepreneurs, to sports icons. The average person would be gobsmacked by the revelation they’d been deceived or people they admired paid for such services. Those records are sealed tight. If the company did anything right, it was to go down without publicity.”
“So, what you’re saying is that you trust me.”
“No, yes. You’re only one of a handful of people who know that story.”
My smile grew. “Thank you for trusting me.”
Lena sighed. “I think I told you because I’m saying you don’t want this.” Lena gestured to herself. “I’m not exactly the woman you want to bring home to your mom.”
A scoff escaped my lips. “My mom is actually pretty cool herself. I’d never share anything you didn’t want shared, but I’d bet my mom would admire your fortitude. My dad too.”
“CJ, I can’t and won’t darken you.”
“Since I saw you in that big white hat, sexy bikini, and large sunglasses, you, Lena, have been a light that beckons me. I had no idea that you became who you are without the backing of family or family money. Hell, I admire you even more. Colton and I come from average parents—cool parents—but average. Having the money from the sale of Architech made me feel like a fish out of water.” I scrunched my nose. “Sorry. Bad metaphor.”
Lena smiled.
“I love your smile. I also like the fact that I know you aren’t interested in me because of that money.” I laughed. “I got it from you.”
“I learned the hard way that involving myself with a man for his money is the wrong reason.”
“What do you look for in a man?” I asked.
“I don’t.”
“Humor me.”
Lena stepped down from the stool. “Everything I see in you. I wasn’t looking, but now that you’re here, you’re too good to be true. You’re everything I never knew I wanted.”
“Get dressed,” I said. “I’m not scared away. I’d gladly keep you here naked forever, but we’re not letting this person win. And you’re not getting rid of me.”
“People will think that the sale of Architech…”
I placed my finger on her lips. “Do you, Lena Montgomery, truly give a shit what people think?”
“Some people.”
“Who?”
“I care what people think of you and your brother.”
Tugging at the top of her towel, I grinned. “If I go down in history as the man who snagged the strong, resilient, successful” —I let her towel fall— “sexy, and insatiable Lena Montgomery, I’m all right with it.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lena
I watched out the windows of CJ’s Range Rover as he drove us to his apartment. I’d called Adam, alerting both he and Kelsey that we’d be arriving by ten in the morning. We’d yet to disclose our hiding place. Maybe it was because there was part of me who wanted to return, to eat turkey sandwiches and yogurt, to avoid real life and embrace the silver lining.
