Carved in Ashes, page 18
I tilted my head from side to side. “It doesn’t seem to.”
“That kind of makes sense. Magic probably can’t create an anti-magic device.”
I confessed how I had hidden the magic, afraid it was evil. And shared Kai’s theory about creation, noting the time that I made the defective coffee mug from home, as well as the other trinkets that I’d accidentally made in the training room.
“The items I created in the training room the other day vanished after a couple of hours.” I lifted my wrist to look at the bracelet. “I thought I’d see how long this lasts, since I created it more carefully and on purpose.”
“That’s amazing.”
I smiled, my gaze drifting to the colorful forest around us. “Kai will be adorably smug when I tell him he was right about this magic.”
“Oh?” Lyric said in a teasing voice. “Did someone finally figure out the ‘it’s complicated’ thing with the dragonborn?”
The more I tried to hide my smile, the more I couldn’t.
“Oh my gosh, you really like him!”
Squeezing my eyes shut, I bit my bottom lip. “Lyric, I think I more than like him.”
“I’ve never seen you like this.”
I looked up at the canopy of leaves. “It’s so different from what I had with Jeff.”
“Ugh!” Lyric said. “That guy was pathetic, and there were definitely no sparks when you talked about him.”
“Oh, and you can see the sparks with Kai?”
She smirked. “Fireworks.”
My chest swelled. I felt them.
“Tell me everything.” Lyric situated herself to face me and clapped her hands.
I laughed. “It seems crazy to be this attached, but I feel like I’ve known him forever.” Warmth spread through me.
“Nothing like near-death experiences to bring people together.”
I smiled. “Kai does keep showing up to protect me.”
Lyric fake swooned. “Your life is like a movie.”
I leaned in. “I never told you this, but, after you ascended,… I kind of lost it.” I gestured with my arms as I spoke. “I unleashed magic of every color, and the entire room was crumbling around me.” I brought my hands to my head, remembering the turmoil. “I was so out of my mind that Alifar and his inner circle could have killed me; I wouldn’t have even fought them. There were a few who tried.”
Lyric gasped.
“But Kai dropped in like the god of death and protected me.” A smile pulled across my lips. “I was falling apart, and he took me in his arms and flew me out.”
A lump formed in my throat, remembering how the cloak I’d been wearing burned his skin. So much of my life had been fear. For the first time in a long time, he’d made me feel safe. Like I could relax.
“He risked everything to come back for me.” I looked at my hands. “I think that was the moment I fell in love with him.”
“And you still came back to the Realm of Stars?” Lyric’s tone was scandalized. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
Glancing at my sister, I sighed. “I didn’t tell you because Kai sent me away.” I dropped my gaze. “He told me he didn’t want me around, and it hurt; I was humiliated.”
“That’s crushing.”
I bobbed my head. “Now I know he was trying to protect himself from getting hurt again.”
“But at the time, you did your shut-down thing.”
“You know me well.” I scrunched my nose, and nodded. “I went back to what was familiar and comfortable.”
“Ignored your little sister’s dating advice.” Her tone was grave.
I laughed once. “Yeah, I tried really hard to make something out of Jeff’s interest in me.”
“Threw all your energy into the art institute thing.”
“Honestly, it all sounds ridiculous when we say it out loud.”
“You were running away from your pain.” My little sister’s wisdom was uncanny.
“I really was. And honestly, I just haven’t felt like I really belong anywhere.”
“I don’t know, Astrid. That might be an old story.” Lyric considered me. “Right now, you seem less lost than I’ve ever seen you before.”
I chewed on my lip. “There’s more…”
“What?” She patted my knee with both hands. “Don’t hold out!”
I told her about the mating ritual disguise and how intimate and sacred it had felt when Kai painted his runes on my skin and kissed me. Then how I found out what it really meant, how Kai was serious about it, and that I was going to have to eventually choose.
By the time I was done, Lyric had both hands covering her smile. “That is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard!”
I squeezed my eyes shut and tipped my head back against the tree. “Is it crazy that part of me wants to complete the ritual?”
“No.” Lyric didn’t even hesitate. I looked at her, and she shrugged. “Sometimes you have to just do what feels right, even if it sounds crazy.”
“Says the girl who chose the goddess ascension hours after she found out about it.”
“Exactly! It felt right, and I have no regrets!” She paused and then took my hand. “Except one.”
“One regret?” I arched my eyebrows.
“I’m really sorry that I caused you so much pain that day.”
I squeezed her slender fingers. “I’m just glad I didn’t really lose you.”
* * *
I sat in the forest long after Lyric had gone.
Contentment surrounded me. Embracing my magic, all of my magic, had felt a lot like self-acceptance.
Lyric had been right. In the absence of my fear of the indigo magic, the sense of belonging I had been searching for had somehow found me.
Closing my eyes, I basked in the sensation.
I belong to myself.
My heart began to race at the thought. No matter where I went or who I was with, I could always belong.
Self-acceptance was a choice that I would always get to make.
I could live in any realm, and be with anyone, or be alone, and I would still belong with myself.
The thought empowered me, and I drew in a deep, cleansing breath.
I jumped on my bike and started the engine. I was anxious to share my discoveries with Kai. Speaking the words out loud to Lyric had made me realize the depth of my feelings for him.
I never wanted to lose him.
The approaching battle would be dangerous. I knew I was risking my life, we all were.
I raced along the path to the rebel base.
I knew what I had to do.
Twenty-One
I found Kai in the training room, sparring with Ryder. When I burst through the door, out of breath, they both turned, concern plain on their faces.
“What’s wrong?” Kai stepped towards me.
Swallowing, I lifted my chin and squared my shoulders. “I know what I want.”
He narrowed his eyes at me, a silent question, even as they darkened with desire.
Ryder looked back and forth between us. “I… might need to go check on something.”
Kai’s gaze remained locked with mine as Ryder left, latching the door behind him.
Kai was dressed in leather and fully fitted with weapons—a warrior for the ages. The desire in his eyes made my heart race.
If I hadn’t already been sure of my choice, seeing him standing there, ready to fight my battles with me, made me even more certain.
As much as my body wanted him, my soul wanted him even more.
He set his battle axe down and leaned it against the vine-tree. Stepping closer, he tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
My skin ignited where his fingers trailed to rest against my neck.
His eyes searched mine, questioning.
“I never want to lose you,” I whispered.
He gently took my face in both of his hands. Tipping my face up, he bent to kiss me.
I went up on my toes, eager to press myself closer.
As I pulled him towards me, my body became frantic for him. I dug my fingers into his rock-hard biceps, my chest swelling with need. Kai matched my intensity.
His hands worked their way down my back, trailing fire as he went.
Locked together, we stumbled towards the nearby table.
Kai picked me up and set me onto it, without breaking the kiss.
Impatient, I began unstrapping the leather baldric that crossed his chest.
He let out a soft, low growl.
He bent to brace himself on the table, on either side of me. His gaze locked on mine, the rise and fall of his chest hinting at his threadbare control. “Are you sure?”
I dropped the leather to the floor with a coy smile before placing my hands on either side of his chiseled face. Feeling his stubble against my hands made my palms tingle and sent a glow of tenderness through my heart.
“I never want to be without you.” I pulled his mouth back to mine.
This kiss started tender and grew more passionate as we deepened it.
When I nipped at his bottom lip, Kai dug the pads of his fingertips into the small of my back and growled.
He pulled me in and trailed kisses across my jaw and down my neck. My skin came alive everywhere his lips touched me. When his teeth grazed my neck, I gasped, arching my back as waves of heat coursed through me.
He released me just long enough to shove everything from the table to the floor, in a single motion. Weapons clattered to the ground.
I smirked. “Good thing this room is soundproof.”
Kai growled and came back in for my lips.
“Wait.” I placed my hands on his chest. “Drop your glamour.”
Kai raised a scarred eyebrow at me. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
I reached up and caressed the tip of his scar with my thumb. “I don’t want you to hide from me.”
His chest rose and fell several times as I held his gaze.
With a shuddering breath, his glamour fell away.
His wings created a shield of translucent black halfway around us.
A rush of wonder filled my chest.
I traced my fingers over the solid black runes that adorned his wing.
Kai closed his eyes at my touch and tipped his head back, releasing a low sigh of contentment.
“Mine,” I whispered.
His eyes flew open to look at me, a predator’s gleam in his stare.
I slid my hands across his powerful shoulders and ran my fingers up through his hair, finally caressing the ridges of his majestic black horns.
“Mine,” I whispered again.
Kai’s chest rumbled, in response, as he laid me back.
* * *
Mated.
My heart felt like it would expand out of my chest.
Forever.
I bit my bottom lip and smiled at the thought.
Lying in Kai's arms, with my head on his chest and his arms around me, I felt peace like I’d never known.
I reached up and traced lazy circles at the nape of his neck, where his warrior braid was slowly growing back. It made me think of how he’d traded his braid for the fae water to save my life.
How did I not see his heart before?
I adjusted myself so I could look at his profile. “I love you.”
A smile spread across Kai’s lips, and his arms tightened around me for a breath before he adjusted his head to look at me. “You have marked my soul.”
My stomach fluttered.
I had no idea it was possible to feel this happy.
“What made you decide to complete the mating ritual?”
My gaze followed the lines of the vines on the ceiling. “I know we haven’t known each other very long, but I feel like we’ve belonged to each other for a long time.” I glanced at his profile. “I couldn’t risk going into battle without letting you know how I really feel.” I stretched up and kissed his cheek. “Even if we only get two weeks, I want our two weeks.”
“We’ll have more than two weeks.” Kai’s arms tightened around me. “I won’t let him hurt you.”
Not wanting to ruin the moment, I didn’t let myself think any more about the looming battle.
Looking up at my dragonborn, I ran a finger over one of his horns.
Kai shook his head, in disbelief. “You are so beautiful.”
I leaned up on my elbow. “So we’re mated now?”
He nodded. “Until the end of time.”
I nibbled my bottom lip. “Should we, you know… make sure?”
He raised an eyebrow and smiled at me. “Anything my queen desires.”
Leaning in, I kissed him long and slow.
Twenty-Two
The next few days were a mix of Kai and me stealing time together, wherever we could find it. Usually between magic training with my various mentors and sword practice with the dragonborn assassin—who proved to be an excellent weapons tutor, when we weren’t otherwise wildly distracted.
Was it wrong to be blissfully happy with so much at stake in our future?
I couldn’t bring myself to think so.
In fact, I was starting to think that maybe it was the only way to live—finding happiness in the crevices between whatever life throws down next.
The more time I spent in Kai’s arms, the more I was determined to survive this mission against Alifar; I needed more than two weeks with my mate.
Kai and I arrived in the mess hall, for breakfast, when everyone was nearly finished eating. We got our food and found space at the table with Tyler and the rest of the tech team.
“We weren’t sure if you two would ever make it in time for breakfast again,” Sibel teased.
My face flushed.
Ryder leaned in from across the table. “Yeah, I was starting to worry I’d seen the last of my best friend.” He winked at me.
“Oh, my word.” I touched my forehead and glanced sideways at Kai.
He wore a smug smile.
"Holy Wonder Woman, Batman!” Tyler said, “You're looking extra toned."
I shrugged off his comment. "It's probably the enhanced strength that comes with mating a dragonborn."
"Sweet deal!" He elbowed me playfully and added, "But really, Astrid, Glad to see you're letting Kai eat every now and then."
“Okay, enough about us.” I scrambled for a subject change. “What have you guys been working on in the lab?”
Mateo’s head came up. “We actually made a breakthrough on the magic suppression device, yesterday.”
I raised my eyebrows, genuine curiosity taking over. “Does it work?”
Tyler had mentioned their idea to me several days ago—a device that used the magic suppression stone in my mother’s cuff, combined with what was essentially a Wi-Fi signal. Tyler theorized it would create a dome of airspace that would nullify any magic that entered.
He had begged to borrow the stone from my bracelet, and after he’d sworn it wouldn’t get damaged, I let him use it.
“It works just like I thought it would.” Tyler was beaming. “All the magic cuts off.”
“We only tested a ten-foot circumference,” Mateo said, “but the broadcaster we’re using should be able to go a hundred feet or more, without the signal weakening.”
“Next, we’re going to create a ray gun with the technology,” Tyler added.
“When this is all over,” Mateo said, “we have to figure out how to watch movies; Tyler keeps describing them.”
I laughed. “As soon as we get done with this mission, we’ll all have to take a trip to Kansas City.”
“Yes!” Tyler said. “We can take them to a movie on the big screen!”
“I’ll buy the popcorn,” I added.
The south entrance to the mess hall crashed open. “Commander!” An ashen-faced Hiram ran down the steps, waving a small piece of paper above his head. “Commander, they’re coming!”
I had never seen the halfling lose his composure, but his voice shook with panic.
I shot to my feet, along with everyone else.
My heart hammered as I watched the Commander step away from her table and take the note from Hiram.
A murmur of strained speculation rolled through the room.
I held my breath as my aunt read the message. The blood drained from her face. I stepped away from the table to approach her, but she looked up and addressed the crowd. “We’ve just received word from our scouts.”
Her eyes scanned the room and landed on me.
I held my breath.
Syn continued, “Alifar himself is headed here, with his inner circle and the entire army.”
Fear clenched my gut. This is not how it’s supposed to happen.
“Are you sure?” Someone I didn’t recognize spoke.
“We’ll find out in about an hour, when they get here,” Hiram said.
“That can’t be,” another woman said. “How did he find us?”
“We were supposed to have another week and a half to prepare.” My voice was strained as I worked to keep my composure. “We had a plan.”
Commander Syn silenced the murmur in the room and called for everyone’s attention. “Adjust your battle strategy,” she ordered. “For the next twenty minutes, fortify the base any way you can.” She turned to Yana. “I need every earth mage we have to build a perimeter around our base.”
Yana nodded. She and the four other earth mages charged for the door.
The Commander called out orders for archers to rally their supplies and report to the barricade that would soon be erected.
I spun towards Kai. “I’m going to help Yana.”
He nodded. “I’ll be right behind you.” He was already heading for the door at the other end of the hall. I didn’t have to ask him to know he was getting his weapons.
“Tyler!” I said, whirling around and almost bumping into someone who was rushing past.
“Over here!” Tyler tossed me an urgent wave.
“Sakashi?” I asked, hoping his wyvern would come to help us again.
“I already called her.” He turned and bolted for the door.
Moving to stand with my aunt, I grabbed her hand, and she gave mine a squeeze. “Can I say something?” I asked.
