Alone & Lonely, page 6
Picking up her phone, Amya scrolled through her contacts. She could call one of her sisters, Beth or Morgan or even Carrie. She had seven of them to choose from, but the only one she trusted to actually talk to and not share with anyone else was Morgan. She understand confidentiality and all the nuances that came with it. But Morgan was touchy whenever it came to cheating, and Amya was not going to go near that with a ten foot pole.
She needed someone to talk to, someone to vent to. She’d sorely neglected most of her friendships since Kit and Peter had come to live with them, almost right at the same time too. She’d had to get used to parenting a seventeen-year-old and a twenty-one-year-old in one go of it. They’d instantly become a family of four. Well, they’d instantly become a family. Grace cared and loved her, but they were never going to make anything official, that much was clear.
Her thumb hovered over Crystal’s name in her contact list. Crystal always had great insight into Grace. They’d been friends almost as long as they’d been alive at this point, and Crystal could say things to Grace in a way that would make her understand just how dire the need was. And Grace needed to take off her blindfold and face facts. Paige had a crush on Grace, and she was willing to push boundaries to get what she wanted no matter what Grace said or did, and that scared Amya.
Pressing the phone to her ear, Amya listened as it rang and rang and rang. She was just about to give up with Crystal answered with a worried tone. “Amya, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Her voice shook as she answered, and she knew Crystal was observant enough to hear through it.
“Amya, you don’t usually just call for chit chat. What’s going on?”
“You got time?”
“To talk or to come over?”
“Both?”
“Yeah. I’ll be right there.” Crystal hung up.
Amya rubbed the back of her neck, trying to ease the tension that seemed to take up permanent residence at the base of her skull. It ached. She wouldn’t have much longer to wait, Crystal only lived a short five minute drive, something Amya was pretty sure Grace planned when she’d bought the house all those years ago.
The knock on the door was sharp, but Crystal didn’t hesitate as she walked right in. Her gaze softened as she caught sight of Amya on the couch. “What happened? What’d she do? I’ll beat her up for you.”
Amya snorted. “It’s not that.”
Crystal ditched her shoes and jacket and folded herself in half on the couch with Amya.
“I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”
“You didn’t. Quit beating around the bush. What’s going on?”
Amya opened her hands to the house and moved it around. “It’s Sunday.”
“Okay?” Crystal cocked her head to the side as she looked around. “So it’s Sunday.”
“No one is home. I mean, I expect Peter and Kit to work. They have entry level jobs. They work when they’re told, but Grace? Detectives are only scheduled Monday through Friday unless they’re on call. She’s been ‘on call’ every weekend for months.”
“I noticed that, too.” Crystal looked down at her hands. “She keeps saying Paige is making her stay late.”
“See! At least you get that out of her. I don’t even get that. I just get silence or that she has to work and has no other option.”
“I’m not sure she does,” Crystal muttered.
“What do you mean?”
“If she causes too much of a fuss, it’ll affect her job.”
“She can’t keep working hours like this. No one can, but especially in a job where it takes such a mental toll on us. She can’t keep working this way.”
“I think we all know that.” Crystal reached across and pressed a hand to Amya’s thigh. “Are you mad she working or are you mad she’s working and Paige is there?”
That was it. Leave it to Crystal to ask the hard question she didn’t want to ask herself. No matter what Amya did, no matter how much time had passed, she was still jealous. She could stuff that emotion away inside her as much as she wanted, but it was still there at the center of it all. She could mask it with concern for Grace and Grace’s well-being, but in the end, it was all because she was completely uncomfortable with Paige. She had no trust in Paige or in Grace when she was with Paige.
“That’s what I thought,” Crystal added. She pushed a hand up into her hair and rested her elbow on the back of the couch as she faced down Amya. “Remember when you were so flipped out by Paige and Grace that you literally abandoned ship and came to my house for the night?”
“Yeah.”
“I talked to Grace about that. Not about anything you said, but about what she felt on it. She loves you, Amya. I have never seen her be so entranced by someone before. She sucks at showing it—trust me, she is not the friend you go to have these emotional conversations or talk about love—but she does love you. You’re her world, and if you were to vanish from it, I’m pretty sure she would be completely lost without you.”
Amya clenched her jaw, not sure what to say. Grace would never say something like that. She was getting better about sharing those things, but still it was slow to work them out of her. Sometimes Amya just needed the reminder.
“What do I do?” she asked.
Crystal sighed. “I don’t know. When Grace gets backed into a corner, she shuts down and shuts the world out. She’s such a people pleaser and tries to make everyone happy, and in this situation, she can’t do that. She’s going to have to figure out what’s important to her.”
“I’m not sure how much longer I can wait for her to do that.”
“Just hold on. I promise you, she’ll make the right decision when the time comes.”
They lapsed into a silence. Amya had forgotten how helpful Crystal was and how in tune she was with Grace, even though they hadn’t seen each other in weeks if not longer. Amya shifted and put her head on Crystal’s shoulder. “Thanks for coming over.”
“Any time. You’re like my sister, you know that, right?”
Amya groaned. “I have too many sisters for that to always be a good statement, but I appreciate the sentiment.”
Crystal chuckled. “So…what’s for dinner?”
Laughing, Amya pushed herself up from the couch and moved toward the kitchen. “Food. Food is what’s for dinner.”
She rummaged around for some leftovers and made them each a plate. As they sat down again, Amya asked the one question that had been burning in the back of her mind. “What do you think it’ll take for Grace to make a decision?”
“She’s going to have to lose something she really loves. And I don’t think it’ll be you, Amya. Trust me on that. But she’s going to be faced with her love for what the job gives her and Paige, and she’s going to make a pretty swift decision after that. Grace doesn’t balk once a decision is made.”
Amya knew that. From them dating to her moving in, Grace had hedged at every opportunity, but as soon as the decision was made, that was it, and Grace was all in. She was loyal to the core, too, which was probably why she was stretched so thin. Crystal spent the next few hours with her until it was time for Amya to go get Kit from her first day at work. As they parted ways, Crystal gave Amya a big hug and whispered, “Hang in there.” Amya only hoped she had the patience to withstand the storm.
###
Grace had managed to get home that night just before seven, which was perfect because dinner was planned for seven. She’d done enough work on Sunday that when Monday of Thanksgiving week rolled around she’d snuck out when Paige wasn’t looking and headed home with her face tilted down. They could all have dinner together, and she could get up early in the morning and go back to work.
Abrams hadn’t managed to find Jonas for an interview with him that day, and they were going on a hunt to find him in the morning. They needed to have a serious in depth conversation with him. Grace got out of the cruiser and headed inside, welcomed by the scent of Thanksgiving dinner all laid out on the table before her.
Amya was in the kitchen, bent over something. Kit and Peter were setting the table, and the dogs were laying on the couch, watching to see what was happening. Grace slipped into the bedroom and changed out of her suit and into something far more comfortable. Originally she’d wanted to help Amya cook, but after figuring out that it wasn’t going to likely happen, she’d given up that idea and hadn’t even suggested it to Amya.
Her phone buzzed on the dresser as she was walking toward the door to the bedroom. She cringed when she saw Paige’s name and almost ignored the text, but Abrams had also texted. She opened it up and read it. He wanted an update on the subpoena to get the names from Felicia’s phone records.
Grace texted back her response that they should have the records in the next couple of days if they managed to do it before the holiday. Then she made the mistake of checking Paige’s text, which was a shot in the dark about why Grace had left the office early and some annoyance as to when she’d finish up all her work. She had half a mind to completely ignore her.
Texting back that she’d get to it in the morning, Grace pocketed her phone and walked into the hallway. Kit was talking about work and a cute girl that also started with her and sat through orientation together. They’d even gotten lunch together.
Grace listened in before stepping into the room because she knew as soon as they knew she was there, the conversations like that would stop. Kit had been clamming up around her a lot lately, and Grace had no one but herself to blame. Her phone buzzed again. Cursing, Grace picked it up. This time it was a phone call.
“What’s up?”
“I needed those reports tonight.”
Grace shot Amya an annoyed look. “Tomorrow.”
“No. Tonight, Halling.”
“Then write me up for insubordination, Paige. I’m spending the evening with my family.” Grace hung up and shoved the phone back in her pocket. She knew she’d been loud, but when she glanced up, she was surprised to find all of them staring at her with mouths agape. “What?”
“Did you really just talk to Paige like that?” Amya asked.
“You’ve wanted me to do that for months, don’t start now.”
Amya put both her hands up in the air in defense. “I wasn’t. Would you grab the turducken?”
“The what?” Grace looked disgusted as she stared at the counter top with what looked like a turkey sitting on it, but if what she’d just heard from Amya’s mouth was actually what was on the counter, she was not going to enjoy dinner.
“The turducken.”
“Why the hell would you buy that?”
Amya looked flustered. “I told you I was buying it.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Yes, I did. I even texted it to you.”
Grace narrowed her gaze. “I think I would remember if you said you were buying that thing.”
“I thought we would try something new this year.”
“A turducken?” Grace was still unimpressed and quite shocked that this was the route Amya decided to go. “You could just pick a different pie? Like, I don’t know, pecan or something.”
“I have pecan pie.” Amya pointed to a pie sitting on the corner of the counter.
Grace balked. She hated pecan pie, and she hated duck. She’d have to just eat around the nastiness in the center of the turkey. “Fine.”
Moving to the counter, Grace went to grab the turducken and her phone buzzed in her pocket again. Ignoring it, she took the food to the table and sat down. When her phone didn’t stop ringing, she finally rolled her eyes at Amya, showed her the phone and stepped out of the room.
Answering with a gruff, “What?” Grace sat on the edge of the bed.
“You don’t hang up on me, Detective.”
“I’ll have the reports to you in the morning, Paige. I’m working all week and not taking a day off, again. I need time with my family.”
“We need to find Andrew.”
Grace ground her molars. “I’m fully aware of that. Abrams and I will be interviewing Jonas tomorrow morning, and we’ll go from there. We’re working on the phone records, but we can’t do much until we get the order signed by the judge. I have given you all these updates already, Paige.”
“You better be in on time tomorrow.”
“Plan on it.”
Sighing, Grace hung up and stalked back out to the dining room. They had all waited for her. As soon as she sat next to Amya, they all held hands. Grace shot Kit a look to see how she was feeling about the praying thing. They’d had one talk about it months before, but they only ever did it when they all sat down together for a meal, which had become increasingly rare.
Peter spoke first. “Gracious God, bless this food we are about to eat, the family we have made, the friends we will meet, and may our love for each other be conveyed. Amen.”
Amya muttered her “Amen” and they all dug in. They had been seated and eating for only twenty minutes when Grace’s phone buzzed again. She was going to kill whoever called her. She didn’t even want to look and see who it was because then she might have to answer.
When her phone rang again, this time catching Amya’s attention, Grace issued her an apology and glanced at the name. She sighed. It was Paige. Again. There couldn’t possibly be something else that she was calling for that needed to be addressed right that minute.
“Who is it?” Kit asked, catching on to what Grace was trying to hide.
“Work,” she muttered. “I’ll just be a minute.”
Once more, Grace traipsed to her bedroom and answered the call.
“What is it, Paige?”
“Did you try the sister?”
“Which sister?” Great, now she sounded like Amya. “We talked to Jonas’ sister and to Felicia’s sister. I really think we need to put out another media blast, and you need to approve it. The longer we wait, the worse it’ll be.”
“I’ll consider it.”
Grace rolled her eyes. Paige was going to make her grovel for everything. That’s what she had done every moment of this case, and it only pushed Grace further behind than she already was. “Consider this, Paige, if you don’t do this, you are the one who is preventing us from finding Andrew, not my lack of attention to detail or my inability to work twenty-four-seven.”
“Grace.” Paige’s tone was soft and gentle.
She didn’t want to hear it though. It was the round and round they seemed to always go lately. “I will interview Jonas in the morning with Abrams. After that, I will double check on the subpoena for the phone records.”
“That’s all I wanted to know,” Paige answered.
Grace had already told her that a dozen times, so why Paige kept on calling was beyond her, except with the specific intent to interrupt the family dinner Paige knew they were having. Two minutes after the phone call ended, Grace got an email. Abrams was obviously still working tonight.
Not even bothering to read the email, Grace left her phone on the dresser and went back out into the main area of the house. She wanted a nice family dinner, a Thanksgiving even if it was with turducken, because she desperately needed to reconnect with her family. Felicia’s body wasn’t going anywhere, and they weren’t going to make a breakthrough in the next twelve hours. If they did, Abrams knew how to get hold of her. This was her boundary line, and she was drawing it. Bending to kiss the top of Amya’s head, Grace sat down at the table and found her plate still half full. Everyone else was working on dessert.
“Everything okay?” Amya asked.
Grace grunted. “It’s nothing. I’m here now.”
She spent the next few hours focusing as best as she could on Kit and Peter, giving them the attention she had neglected to give them in the past few months. It almost felt normal, except for the looming struggle in the back of Grace’s mind. She just had to keep telling herself, one foot down and then the other. She could rebuild a work life that she enjoyed. All she had to do was set boundaries.
Hours later, with a full belly, Grace curled up against Amya in their bed, naked and satiated. She pressed a gentle kiss to Amya’s temple and closed her eyes, ready to sleep for hours and get a good full nights rest. Sighing, she settled in for the night, but Amya would not stop wiggling against her. Growling, Grace tugged Amya in tight.
“Stop moving.”
“Can’t get comfortable.”
Scoffing, Grace moved to lay on her back, her arm thrown over her eyes. She’d wanted a good evening, and she’d been the one to ruin it. She just had to answer the text and the phone call. At least she was putting down some boundaries. It was a start.
“You didn’t eat a lot of dinner,” Amya murmured.
“I don’t like duck.” Grace turned to look at Amya in the dim light.
“Since when?”
“Since I was nine.”
Amya furrowed her brow. “Why?”
“We ate a lot of it for an entire year when we had no money. I’ve sworn on my mother’s grave I will never eat another duck in my life.”
“Oh.” Amya’s cheeks tinged red.
Grace turned back onto her side, skimming a hand over Amya’s curves. “I thought I’d told you that.”
“You don’t ever talk about your mom, Grace.”
Swallowing the lump in her throat, Grace nodded. “You’re right. It’s still hard.”
“What was she like?”
Moving her gaze up to Amya’s eyes, Grace let out a sigh. “She wasn’t the most loving mother out there, but she had her fair share of shit to deal with, so I don’t blame her.”
“She looked exactly like you.”
“Yeah. I prefer that over the alternative.” Grace pecked Amya’s lips. “As much as I’d love to tell you about my mother, I’d really like some sleep. Especially since I haven’t been getting much lately.”
“Okay.” Amya didn’t look okay though.
Grace wanted to pry, wanted to push a little and get some kind of response, but she was way too tired, and five in the morning was going to roll around faster than she could imagine. “Will you be able to take Kit to school tomorrow?”
