Fake, page 20
The first time I saw Mina, she was giving herself a pep talk, probably pumping herself up to battle the nerves she felt before meeting her idol and a famous client, now that I think about it. Watching her made me laugh for the first time in a long time, and I got out of my car promising I’d do it more. That I’d stop being an asshole and go back to being myself.
But that didn’t happen.
Not until Mina reminded me who I really am simply by being with me.
“I’m sorry I was rude that day.” I swirl my whiskey and take a sip. “I wasn’t at my best, which is putting it lightly,” I finish with a smirk.
So much about my life has changed since then.
So much about me has changed since then.
“I got the feeling you were going through a lot and forgave you a while ago. Of course, at the time, I thought you were just another rich prick who thought he deserved more than the rest of us. But I see now that’s not who you really are. That was a mask you put on to hide behind after Blossom.”
I flinch, uncomfortable with how close she is to the truth.
There’s a second of silence, laden with anticipation. The condenser on the fridge hums to life and I drop my gaze to my fingers gripping my glass. “Maybe,” I finally manage.
“That’s okay.” Mina pats my hand, smiling gently as she straightens. “You don’t have to talk about it.”
She’s disengaging. Assuming my terse answer has something to do with her when really, it has everything to say about me. I don’t want her to know the side of me that’s weak. The side of me that not only let Blossom into my head, but then allowed her to burrow in, claws hooked deep into my psyche.
“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it,” I say. “It’s just…”
I don’t know how to finish that sentence.
The pause lengthens, the silence lingers.
“Not with me. I understand.” Mina drops her gaze, seeking her escape, even as she smiles again to make me feel better.
“You don’t though.”
“You could enlighten me.” Her head is cocked, her heart wide fucking open in front of me. She slides herself into my arms like she was designed to fit there.
And that’s the key that unlocks everything.
Because I’m starting to think she was designed to fit there.
With a slow sigh, I wrap my arms around her, close my eyes, and let her in. “Micah and Angela told you about Blossom. My girlfriend.”
“Oh my God.” Mina draws back, surprise lifting her brows. “Is The Prince of Darkness really going to shed light on his origin story?”
Everything in me bristles at her joke. “Do you want to hear this or not?”
“I do.” She mimes zipping her lips, then gestures for me to continue.
“So—"
“Wait, wait, wait.” Mina unzips her lips. “Time out. Pause.”
“I thought you wanted to hear this…”
“Something tells me this story shouldn’t be shared standing in the kitchen.” Taking my hand, she leads me into the living room and pushes me onto the couch, then hands me a pillow before sitting next to me, smiling expectantly.
“What’s this for?” I stare at the thing like I’ve never seen it in my life.
“You put it in your lap. And hug it. Like this.” She grabs the other pillow, crosses her legs underneath her, and wraps her arms around it. “It’s the classic posture for difficult stories.”
With a roll of my eyes, I put the pillow behind my head, throw my arm over the back of the couch, and invite Mina to cuddle in, where she belongs.
“You’re right. That’s a much better idea.” She lays down on her back, her head in my lap, staring up at me with a heartwarming grin. “Okay. Now. Hit me with this origin story.”
I trace my fingers along her features, memorizing the feel of her cheeks, her brows, the gentle upturn of her nose. My thumb drags across her bottom lip and I better start this story soon, before I’m too distracted to continue.
“I met Blossom through the foundation, which crosses all kinds of ethical lines, I know. Hear me out before you judge.”
“Who says I’m judging?”
“Everyone judges, HM. Day in, day out, we’re judging everyone we see. Just imagine if we spent half as much time working on ourselves as we do complaining about other people.”
“That’s a lovely existential point, but you’re stalling, your highness.”
I’m not, but I move on, rather than distract us by disagreeing. “Blossom has two daughters. She came to the foundation because she wanted them to have a better life than she could provide. She was right on the line of qualifying for assistance. Like right there. In fact, if two other families with greater needs hadn’t applied at the same time, she probably would have qualified and none of this would have happened. It’s only because she didn’t qualify that I started talking to her as a person and not a client.”
I’ve spent too many sleepless nights wondering what would have happened if she had qualified for assistance and I hadn’t asked her out. If she hadn’t come into my life to use me, I wouldn’t have decided to push the world away. I wouldn’t have leaned into playing the villain, enjoying my money instead of trying to make up for having it in the first place. I would have just been my normal happy-go-lucky self, living in my modest house…
…and I probably wouldn’t have met Mina. Six months ago, a life without Blossom was my favorite daydream. Now, I can’t imagine missing out on my Hot Mess Express. Mom always said life’s greatest difficulties turn into blessings once you’re on the other side. I’m starting to see her point.
“Anyway,” I say, running a hand through Mina’s silky hair. “I have this tendency of seeing the best in people.”
“You?” She laughs, twisting to meet my eyes. “You think you see the best in people.”
“I do. Or at least I used to. And didn’t you promise to stay quiet?”
She sits all the way up, eyes twinkling. “How can I stay quiet in the presence of such bullshit?”
“Fine. Storytime’s over.” I drop the pillow into my lap and give it a hug. Turns out, it is a surprisingly comforting posture. “You happy now?”
“Nope. Totally discontent. Zero stars. I will not be returning to this establishment.”
Annoyed by how much I like hugging the pillow, I put it back where it belongs and scooch my butt to the edge of the couch. “See if I ever open up to you again.”
“I’m kidding, Nathan.” Mina pushes on my shoulders until I sit back again. “I’ve been around you enough to know you probably did spend most of your life seeing the best in people. I’m teasing because I feel safe with you. Safe to be myself. Safe to be a little silly. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”
My heart swells to the size of the sunrise over the ocean and I draw her into my arms and kiss her deeply. “I like that you feel safe with me.”
“Good. Now show me that you feel safe with me.”
I tell her about Blossom. About the way she presented herself as a victim of a difficult childhood, trying to do better for her kids. “She’d blow up at me over the smallest things. Or expect me to do everything for her, even be a parent for her girls when we weren’t even living together. I took it in stride because I thought all she needed was a little kindness to grow into the best version of herself. The part that was hiding from the light or whatever.”
She was so fucking awful to me. I’d bring her to family gatherings and we’d end up alone somewhere, her yelling at me for abandoning her or not paying enough attention to her if I so much as talked to a cousin. And then her kids would do something shitty and it was my job to fix it. It was humiliating and I kept letting it happen, which made me feel weak and worthless. I share all that with Mina, my voice gritty with truth.
“And then you found out she was cheating.” She shakes her head like she can’t believe what she’s hearing. I haven’t even gotten to the hard part yet.
“When she told me, she was proud of herself. She wasn’t sorry for hurting me or using me or letting me into her kids’ lives. She gloated. Like she was so glad to take the mask off and let me see what a dumb fucking asshole I’d been. She told me she’d never loved me, just my money. She used to say, ‘a man like you deserves to get what you want.’ I wanted it to be a compliment, but it was a way of distancing herself from me. Like I’m somehow other because of my money. You said it that first day we met, and it didn’t help my impression of you.”
“I said it because I thought that’s what wealthy people wanted to hear. No, worse than that. I believed that’s how wealthy people saw themselves. I can imagine how it landed, now that I know you better.”
Everything about Mina softens. She sees all of me now. She knows me now. And I promised I would never let that happen again, but with her, I’m not afraid.
At least not yet.
“And then, to make things worse, we had this rush of applications at the foundation. All from people who had more than enough money to provide for themselves but were happy to steal charity from those who genuinely need it. Everywhere I looked, I saw greed and selfishness. So, I decided to fight it by expanding the foundation, which led me to a man named Dominick Taylor. He’s got a nose for money, but he’s a cynical fuck. He’s been telling me from the start that people like you only see dollar signs when they look at people like me. That I need to lean into my wealth. To accept my role. To play the hand I was given. So that’s what I’ve been doing. In fact, I was on the phone with him during that first meeting and he was going on and on about how I should avoid you.”
I flare my hands because there it is. The truth. The reason I withdrew from the world. Now that it’s out, the story doesn’t sound as devastating as it did when it was trapped in my head.
Have I been just as self-centered as the people I’m retreating from?
“That would be enough to make anyone a little bitter.”
“A little?” I arch an eyebrow then surprise us both by laughing.
“Okay, fine. You were a lot bitter.” Mina returns my smile. “I don’t see you as a dollar sign, by the way. I see you. Nathan West. A man who only needs a glimmer of goodness in someone to trust that’s who they really are. I’m sorry if I ever gave you reason to believe otherwise.” She grabs both my cheeks and kisses my forehead. “Forgive me?”
“There’s no need to apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Are you sure? Because my apology was going to come with a blow job. You got on your knees for me. The least I can do is get on my knees for you.”
“Shit, woman. What are you waiting for then? Apologize!”
THIRTY
Mina
“Oh my God, Fallon! It was the best night ever!” I plop onto my friend’s orange velvet couch with a dreamy sigh, then frown. “I think that’s the first time in a long time I haven’t shown up at your apartment specifically to complain.”
Fallon picks her nail and arches a knowing brow. “There’s been a lot of awful in your life since you met Nathan.”
“Not recently,” I shoot back, annoyed. As my best friend, she should know that. “And not last night,” I continue. “The whole thing was surreal. And magical. And beautiful. But awful? No. It wasn’t that.”
I pull Fallon’s chenille throw off the back of her couch and stand, wrapping it around my shoulders like a hug. A big, fat Nathan hug with his warmth and his strength and the goodness that goes right down to his bones. Right down to his family’s bones. Kindness is genetically coded in his DNA.
The chances this conversation will go well are slim. Fallon has dug her heels in on Nathan being an asshole and won’t change her mind easily.
Thankfully, I have all the ammunition I need to prove she’s wrong about him.
“Best friend code engaged?” I ask and she waves a dismissive hand through the air.
“Sure. Yeah. Best friend code engaged.”
Grinning unabashedly, I unload the entire night, from the limo and driver with our audience murmuring on their porches, to how comfortable I feel with Nathan’s family. From the ambiance and atmosphere to his creepy friend glaring at me from a distance to the champagne and music and elegance of a night under the stars in evening wear. I tell her how nervous I was to step on the stage for the auction and how strange it felt for people to fight to pay money just for a few hours with me.
“I mean, it really wasn’t for me,” I say, snuggling deeper into the throw. “The whole thing was just a cute way to make giving to charity fun. But then Nathan’s grumpy friend started bidding on me, like these insane amounts and that didn’t feel fun at all until Nathan got protective and started bidding on me too. But!” I whirl, caught up in the drama of the moment, the blanket fanning out with my skirt like I’m a bohemian goddess twirling in a meadow. “It was Benjamin Bancroft who won. He called me his hundred-thousand-dollar girl the rest of the night.”
Fallon’s entire demeanor changes. A slow smile melts the frost in her eyes, and I realize it’s been a long time since she hasn’t looked like a watchdog on alert. “You spent the evening with Benjamin Bancroft?” she asks, her smile still growing, the ice still melting. “Meens! This is big. No wonder you’re in such a good mood!”
“Believe me. I’m just getting started on why I’m in such a good mood.” I tell her about Benjamin parading me around like a prize, then the two of us sitting alone while he offered me a dream come true. “Bancroft and Blake Design! Benjamin freaking Bancroft wants to partner with me! Of course, we still need to hash out the details. There’s a lot to consider before I’m ready to commit, but just the fact that a man like that wants to work with a nobody like me…” I trail off, overcome with awe over my life. Mom’s getting better. I’m with a wonderful man. My money worries might be over. I want to go back to young me and tell her to just keep on keepin’ on because it gets better. It gets so much better.
“You’re not a nobody,” Fallon retorts with a ferocious shake of her head that sends her silky locks swinging.
“I know, I know. You’re gonna say a bunch of positive ‘ra ra go Mina go’ stuff, but in the scheme of things, Benjamin has made a name for himself, and I haven’t. Not yet anyway. He’s established. He wins awards. I work for a tiny firm here in the Keys. There’s a difference. Just like there’s a difference between me and Nathan. His entire family is dripping with money and stability and opportunity and I haven’t experienced much of that. Like ever. Not to mention they break every single stereotype I have of the rich and famous. They’re kind and generous and welcoming…”
“Too bad Nathan doesn’t fit that description,” growls the watchdog.
“He might be the best of them,” I retort with a warning arch of my brow. Again, if she’d been paying attention to anything I’ve said over the last five or six months, she’d know this.
I tell Fallon about his plans to expand the foundation, leaving out the whole Blossom story as the catalyst. I won’t share Nathan’s tragedies. Fallon has proven I can’t trust her with the juicy bits.
“Are you gonna use your connection with him to apply to the foundation and get your mom’s medical bills taken care of?” Fallon asks, crossing her arms and stalking to the window to stare at the sky. “Like pull some strings and jump to the front of the line?”
“What?” The suggestion is so shocking I actually step back. “No. Why would I do that?”
“Why wouldn’t you?” Fallon sounds disgusted with me, and I can’t for the life of me figure out why. If anyone should be disgusted, it should be me, seeing as I now have to explain how not to take advantage of a person you care about to someone I thought knew better.
“Nathan and I just started dating. What we are is brand spankin’ new—”
“You’ve been together for six months, Mina.”
“But it didn’t get real until recently.” I furrow my brow. “There’s no way I’m going to him with my hand out, expecting him to solve my financial problems. That’s just not how you handle relationships.”
“So now it’s a relationship.” Fallon looks like she wants to choke on the word. “Isn’t the whole thing supposed to be fake?”
Is she really calling me out on not being in a relationship when just five seconds ago, she suggested we’ve been together long enough to ask him for money?
What am I missing?
How are we miscommunicating?
“It was fake. But now it isn’t. If you’d just listen, you’d know that, especially because I haven’t gotten to the best part. I was at Nathan’s house last night. This morning too,” I finish with a grin that feels a tad forced.
“You slept with him?” Fallon leans against the window and the grim set of her jaw says she hasn’t been listening at all. She’s too busy being protective. Given what she thinks she knows about Nathan, I can understand.
Time to remedy her misconceptions.
“We had that night, Fal. You know the one. There’s talking and making love and it's intimate and sweaty and beautiful and you know, just connecting with another human being on this personal level with all the physical stuff thrown in to make it real and raw and…” I trail off because Fallon’s just standing there. Staring at me.
No…glaring at me.
“Are you done?” she barks, and I recoil.
“I am now. Why do you look like I just force fed you garbage?”
“Because you did!” Fallon’s jaw drops like I’m an idiot for asking. “For God’s sake, Mina! What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking I’d share the best night of my life with my friend, and she’d be happy for me.”
“How can I be happy when you’re being a damn fool?” Fallon closes her eyes, exhaling slowly, then softens her tone. “We talked about this. Nathan is using you.”
She emphasizes the last sentence, speaking deliberately, enunciating every messed-up syllable.
Now I’m genuinely annoyed. She’s obviously not heard anything I’ve said lately.
“We did talk about this.” I enunciate even harder than she did. “And I informed you that you’re wrong about him.”
