The Rules: The Complete Series : A LitRPG Epic, page 84
Sam felt his heart rate slowly coming down, clutching at his chest and trying not to start yelling at the grinning girl. Sleeping for almost two straight days was pretty extreme, even for him, but that was far better than sleeping for a week.
“Well, seeing as you’re awake now, how about we grab some breakfast, just the two of us?”
“Who else would be joining us?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. “Have they let the others in at some point?”
“No, though I did talk to them last night. They seem to be doing alright, though Greg is starting to get antsy and Daisy wanted to break in to see you. It seems like you’ve made quite the impression on that skunk.”
“Don’t remind me,” he groaned, wondering just how bad things were going to be when they left.
Then again, they were going to be killing the owner of this place and robbing them of their two most valuable treasures, so leaving after that would be much easier.
As though reading his mind, Emma said, “I had a look at that Divine Warrior gear the other day.”
“And?”
“Definitely worth stealing. I wouldn’t even feel bad about it, especially after the way that saleswoman looked at me when I didn’t have enough to buy it.”
“Yeah,” Sam said. “What the hell is up with these people?”
“Beats me,” she replied. “Oh, by the way. The gear we ordered from the dwarves should be just about ready by now. Wanna go check it out?”
Sam’s stomach growled then, and he shook his head.
“Food first, then the gear.”
He began moving to get out of bed when he finally noticed something that had previously slipped his attention. He’d already realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt, but that much he didn’t really mind. What he did mind, though, was discovering that under the blankets, he wasn’t wearing anything at all.
“Emma…” he said, turning on the still-smiling girl.
“Yes?” she asked coyly, playing with a lock of her hair.
“Why am I naked?”
“Oh, are you? I hadn’t noticed,” she said, her eyes innocent and wide.
“Really?” Sam asked, feeling a vein throbbing in the corner of his temple. “If you’re the one who brought me to bed, then who took all my clothes?”
“Albert, of course,” she said. “I couldn’t let you sleep in your clothes.”
“And Albert took my pants and underwear?”
“We had to make sure everything was cleaned,” Emma replied, still playing at being innocent.
“You are a very sick and perverted girl. You know that, right?”
“And proud of it!” Emma said, giving him a wide grin. “I’ll just hop up and go get dressed. Meet you by the door in ten!”
That said, she hopped out of bed, revealing that while she was wearing a loose-fitting shirt, her lower body was clad only in a pair of silky underwear, the type that didn’t cover all that much. Emma didn’t look back but purposefully wiggled her hips as she walked, letting his shoulder-devil wolf-whistle and make lewd suggestions until she left the room.
The day was already off to a great start, Sam could tell, but he was well-rested at the very least and was planning on doing a whole bunch of questionable things himself today. It was going to be a very busy one indeed, and one that the people here wouldn’t soon forget. He’d have his revenge on the snooty shop-guy soon.
That’ll teach him to look at me funny, Sam thought as he pulled on his Monster Mage robes, which had been laundered and smelled nice and fresh. Not even a hint of the swamp remained, and for that, he was incredibly grateful. When he and Emma killed Hay Deez and burned the big store to the ground, he’d make sure Albert didn’t get caught in the crossfire. Beatrice, too, if he could manage it. She’d been nice to him, and it was because of her that he’d even found these treasures.
As Sam tied the sash tight around his waist, he began planning the attack in his mind. Getting Hay Deez out of the way would be their top priority. They’d need to cause a distraction for that, something that would force people to evacuate. It would have to be large enough to keep them out for at least a few minutes, so that both the false god and the heist could be dealt with.
Ideally, they’d be able to get away without even coming under suspicion. Still, things never seemed to work out for them, so he was planning on either having to fight his way through gaggles of moronic soldiers hellbent on their deaths or being pursued until the end of this quest. Either way, today was going to be eventful.
His stomach growled once again then, breaking him from his thoughts. Eventful day or not, right now, he needed to get some food into his system because he had a feeling it would be one of the last good meals he’d have in a while.
29
“So, have you come up with a plan yet?” Emma asked, tucking into her breakfast stew, complete with eggs, meat, and some sort of weird, stringy vegetable.
“Maybe,” he said, picking at his own food. “Do you have any idea how this qualifies as a stew?”
“Don’t ask me,” she replied, taking another bite. “All I know is that it tastes good and isn’t just meat, potatoes, and broth. So, I’d say to enjoy it while it lasts.”
“And how much is this enjoyment going to cost?” he asked, taking a bite of his stew and finding it quite tasty.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said with a grin. “It’s my treat.”
“Why?”
“Because we’re on a date, silly,” she said, swatting his arm.
“Wow, how progressive of you,” he deadpanned.
“I know, right?” she replied, licking her thumb. “Hold still. You’ve got a little something on your lip.”
“Oh, hell no!” Sam said, quickly wiping his hand over his mouth.
He wasn’t about to be part of some gross trope, especially where this shit was concerned.
“Aww,” Emma said, lowering her hand. “You’re never any fun, you know.”
“How about we just get back to planning, hmm?” he said, trying to steer the topic away from weirdville.
“Fine,” she said, going back to her food. “So, lay it on me. What are we doing?”
Sam had been thinking this over and laid everything out according to what he thought would give them the best chance at success.
“This, of course, all hinges on us getting a meeting with the big boss,” Sam finished, having outlined his plan in such a way that the readers would not be privy to information until it happened.
“That’s not a bad idea,” Emma said, taking another bite of her stew. “Do you think we’ll get to meet Hay Deez tonight?”
“Of course,” Sam replied, taking a bite of his food. “We need the plot to keep moving, after all, and there’s only so long we can drag out our stay here.”
“What?” Emma asked, giving him an odd look.
“Nothing,” he replied. “Don’t mind me.”
The two of them finished their breakfast in silence. Emma tried a few more things, but Sam managed to avoid anything too bad, though she did manage to get one of those wipe-the-food-away-and-eat-it things, which caused him to nearly lose everything he’d eaten so far.
“I’m so sorry,” Emma said once again as they exited the inn. “I had no idea that would make you so nauseous.”
“Why wouldn’t it make me nauseous!?” Sam groaned, clutching at his head. “You ate something that was stuck to the corner of my mouth! That is so disgusting!”
“But they always look so sexy when they do it on TV,” Emma said, sounding a bit defensive.
“That’s because it’s TV!” Sam said, trying to get the image out of his head. “And whoever came up with that disgusting idea should be flogged, hanged, and flayed, all at once! In fact, they should hand the knife to a group of sadistic kindergarteners and let them do it!”
“Okay, okay, message received,” Emma said, “I won’t do it again.”
Sam shuddered once more, trying to force the image from his mind, but not being very successful. Thankfully, a distraction soon appeared, in the form of the smithy building, which already rang with the loud clanging of a hammer, despite the early-morning hour. Well, technically, it was already half-past nine, but for rich people – at least the lazy ones who never had to work for their money and had instead received daddy’s inheritance – that was still early.
“Good morning,” Betty, the massively busty dwarf, said as they walked in. “You’re just in time.”
Of course, we are.
“Grandpa is putting the finishing touches on your weapons now.”
“Have you decided on a price?” Sam asked, not voicing his disbelief that they would be finishing up their project right as they walked into the shop.
“Take a look at the items first and let me know if you’re happy. If not, we can always make some adjustments, but grandpa is pretty good at what he does, so I’m confident you’ll like what he has to offer.”
“You better damn well be!” the old, gruff dwarf said as he trundled over, slamming Sam’s staff and Flintlock down on the counter. “It wasn’t easy upgrading these, especially with how powerful they were already!”
“Do you have my sword?” Emma asked excitedly when she saw the new additions to his weapons.
“Finishing up with that now,” the dwarf said. “I’ll be done in a few minutes.”
“So, what do you think?” Betty asked, clearly struggling not to go running back and whack the old dwarf over the head for being so rude.
“They look amazing!” Sam said, running his hand along the upgraded weapons.
The shining green orichalcum wound all along the body of the staff, twisting up until it met the head, at which point it flared out into five separate points. The staff itself seemed to be shining as well, emitting a soft light from the tip, where more orichalcum was wound tightly around the gem that had been mounted there.
The Flintlock looked much the same, with intricate patterns of the shining green metal worked into both the grip and barrel, turning the already beautiful weapon into something spectacular. The holster was quite impressive as well, containing some more pattered work and finishing the look nicely. But looks aside, Sam was excited to see how their stats had changed.
ITEMS FOUND!
Name: Orichalcum Hand Cannon
Durability: 12,000/12,000
Rarity: Legendary
Quality: Reinforced
Damage: Total Attributes divided by 4
Effect: Three times a day, you can use Multi-shot ability at the cost of 10 Durability. Once per day, you can use Charge-shot ability at the cost of 100 Durability
Requirements: Deadeye skill
Estimated Value: 10,800 Gold
Name: Orichalcum Holster
Durability: 6,500/6,500
Rarity: Legendary
Quality: Reinforced
Armor: +10
Effect: Passively restores Durability to Hand Cannon Weapons. Power increased if the weapon is holstered between shots.
Requirements: Deadeye skill
Estimated Value: 6,900 Gold
Name: Weeper’s Orichalcum Pillar
Durability: 10,000/10,000
Rarity: Legendary
Quality: Reinforced
Damage: +47-69 (Ability), +31-39 (Blunt)
Effects: -35% to Mana cost when using Mage abilities, +15% Damage when using Mage abilities
Requirements: Level 18 Mage (Sub-Class does not affect the ability to equip)
Estimated Value: 9,999 Gold
“Well, I’m happy with these,” Sam said, doing all he could to stop himself from starting to jump up and down and pump his fists like a nutjob.
There were enough people who thought he was crazy as it was. The last thing he needed was to add to that list.
“I’m glad you like it,” Betty said, giving him a wide smile. “Is there anything you want to change?”
“Nope. I’m happy with them the way they are,” Sam replied, already imagining how much easier it would be to take monsters or false gods down with weapons like these.
The biggest change across all the weapons wasn’t in their overall strength or improved abilities, but rather, the sheer, monstrous durability that had been added to each. They’d all jumped from having disabilities in the low hundreds to into the thousands, and he had a feeling that had something to do with the orichalcum.
“Now, we only have to settle the matter of cost,” Betty said. “We used about half your orichalcum in the upgrading of your weapons, so we can either charge you 80 electrum, or you can just leave us with the other half.”
Sam stared at her for several long moments, then let out a light snort.
“That was almost funny,” he said. “I could have sworn you just asked for eight-thousand gold, just to have my weapons upgraded with materials I provided.”
“That is what I said,” Betty replied, her smile unwavering.
“You’re kidding, right?” Sam asked, his brows drawing down. “You’re seriously trying to tell me that your work is worth that much?”
“Oh, come now, I’m sure you can afford it,” Betty said, leaning forward on the counter and causing the buttons on her top to strain even further.
“Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I don’t particularly enjoy being ripped off,” Sam said flatly. “Now, give me the actual price, or you can undo all of the work and I’ll take my business elsewhere.”
“But, sir, we can’t undo the work. If you feel the price is unfair, maybe I can convince you it is,” she said suggestively, popping a button on her blouse and revealing a hefty expanse of pale cleavage.
“Hey! That’s my line!” Emma said, grabbing the poor dwarf girl and hauling her halfway over the counter. “Listen here, you little tramp. You’re going to charge us a fair price for the work done, and if you try and make a pass at my Sammy again, I’ll tear your fucking head off! Understand?”
The dwarf looked genuinely terrified at Emma’s threat and nodded her head quickly.
For his part, Sam was just glad that Greg hadn’t been here to hear that. There was no way he’d have let Sam live that one down.
“Look, let’s just settle on a fair price, and give me something that doesn’t make me want to unleash this very angry and jealous woman on you,” he said.
“Hey!” Emma replied, giving him a hurt look.
“What? I’m not the one who just treated you like their personal property,” Sam retorted, completely unapologetic.
“Yeah, but you didn’t have to say it like that,” she pouted.
“How about we give it to you for free, for allowing me to work with such a fine metal?” the grumpy old dwarf said again, coming to place Emma’s sword on the counter.
This time, Betty did whack him over the head, thumping him so hard that she knocked the poor man out cold.
“Don’t mind him,” Betty replied, laughing in a slightly manic way. “Now, let’s discuss what you consider to be a fair price, shall we?”
30
After nearly an hour of haggling, Sam and Emma left the smithy with their items in tow. Sam felt like going back in there and ripping the bitch’s head off for wasting so much of his time with the pointless haggling and refusing to tell them what price she wanted. If she was going to accept the three electrum, she should just have started with that in the first place and saved everyone a huge headache.
It was still a huge sum of money to pay for a couple of weapon upgrades, but seeing as the damage had been increased by so much, Sam didn’t feel nearly as bad as he would have, had he been talked into paying eighty electrum for the work. Instead, he now had the half bar of the green metal in his Soul Ring, as well as both of his weapons attached to his side. His staff hung across his back, feeling only slightly heavier than before, and his Flintlock sat at his waist, just waiting to be drawn.
“Is it just me, or does it seem like that Betty girl kept us there for longer, just so that she could keep ogling at you?” Emma asked, glaring back over her shoulder at the smithy.
“I’m just pissed we had to waste so much time sitting around there,” he muttered. “Let’s just go meet the others and get this planning out of the way.”
“Would you like to have a butler accompany you, or would you perhaps like to have one of our private coaches?” the butler at the gates asked.
It seemed that he was privy to the status of whoever was staying, and seeing as Emma had so graciously dropped seventy-five grand on a hotel room, they were playing nice.
“No, thank you,” Emma said, wrapping her arms into one of Sam’s. “My husband and I only wish to go for a quick stroll around the walls to get a little privacy.”
She added a wink and a giggle to this, which simultaneously made the butler smirk knowingly and roll his eyes.
“But, of course, madame,” the butler said, bowing out of the way. “When should we be expecting you back?”
“Oh, it shouldn’t be more than an hour,” Emma replied. “Though if my husband is feeling especially feisty, we might take longer.”
“I understand, madame,” the butler said, once again giving them that knowing smile. “Enjoy yourselves.”
“Oh, I will,” Emma said, covering another giggle as they headed out of the gates.
“Why the hell do you insist on pulling this shit?” Sam asked once they were out of earshot.
“Because it’s the only time I can say we’re dating or married and not have you immediately deny it,” she replied. “It feels kinda nice.”
“You know, I still don’t understand your strange fixation on me, of all people,” he replied. “Greg is a good-looking guy who would definitely say yes. Why not just go for him?”
“Because I’m not interested in him, silly. I’m interested in you.”
“But why?” Sam almost shouted. “I’m not all that special. I’m below average in just about every sense of the word!”
“It bothers me that you have such a low sense of self-worth,” she said, pulling his arms just a little tighter to her side. “You have a lot to offer, but you just can’t seem to let go of your self-doubt and self-hatred. But don’t worry. As long as I’m around, you’ll know how amazing you are because I’ll never stop bugging you.”
