End Scene: A Dark Romantic MM Thriller, page 12
“Are you on a budget?”
Did I look poor? “Yes.”
“I have a few on sale.”
I left the store with a gun and some ammo, hoping to feel safer but feeling like a walking target.
*
“Someone’s in a good mood,” Jenny declared as I entered the studio the following day.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She eyed me before nodding knowingly. “You had sex. No doubt about it.”
I shrugged and walked to my station. “A gentleman never tells.”
“That’s for ladies.”
“Then I’m a gentlelady.”
“You sure are!”
I turned on the stereo, which Jenny had decorated with stickers of flowers and kittens, always adding her personal touch to anything she found plain. I expected her to try decorating me eventually. “Mind if I put on some music?”
“Put on Meat Loaf.”
“Too dramatic. Oasis?”
“I’ll settle for Coldplay if we’re taking a trip to bloody Britain.”
“Coldplay it is.”
I worked for three hours on a new sculpture that one of my anonymous clients had requested. When my muscles started aching, I took a break and updated my eBay page. It was ridiculous how quickly my silly jewelry sold, even after I’d raised the prices a few times. I’d need to make more of those.
Toward the end of the day, Jenny and I took a break to share a joint next to the open window. I wasn’t a fan of anything that reduced my self-control, but Jenny’s weed wasn’t strong.
“So…” She nudged me with her elbow.
“So?”
“Don’t play coy with me, Jonah. Who was the one who deflowered you?”
“A man.”
“Well, of course it was a man. Cut the mystery, Nancy Drew.”
I sighed. “It was Hayden.”
“Hayden Hayden? Oh shit! Are you two back together?”
“We’re not.” I couldn’t allow us to get carried away while so many things were uncertain. Just having him back in my life felt like a lot.
“You never told me why you two broke up. It came out of nowhere.”
It had. One day, he showed up at my house, flushed and trembling, demanding to know about the disturbing videos of me that someone had sent him anonymously. I had always been a quick thinker, but seeing the rage in his eyes paralyzed me. He grew angrier, and I switched to survivor mode, lashing back with everything I had.
That hellish fight still echoed in my head.
My phone rang where I’d left it at my station. I handed Jenny the remaining joint before going to answer the call. It was Hayden’s number. With my heart beating slightly faster, I picked up the call. “Hey.”
“Hey, you. Still at work?”
“Yes, about ready to head home.”
“Cool. It’s been ages since I’ve been to the studio. Got any new pieces on display?”
He used to say “stuff” and “things” when referring to my work, but I’d taught him to say “pieces” instead.
I looked around. “A few.”
“Is the ‘Hipster’s Mattress’ still there?”
I smiled. “Yeah, it should still be here somewhere. When can you stop by?”
The big entrance door slid open. “Is now a good time?”
I hung up and walked to him, still not used to his presence after all these months. “I can find an open slot for you.”
“Please do. Hi there, Jenny.”
“Hayden!” She waved while still holding the joint, then realized what she was doing and hid it behind her back.
“Too late, young lady. I could smell it from downstairs. You’re leaving me no choice but to frisk Jonah.” He pulled me into a deep kiss. Jenny whistled in the background.
“Do you always frisk with your tongue?” I asked when he released me.
“Whenever I can.”
I would never feel completely natural sharing public affection with a man, even if the public was just Jenny. I had grown up when the world was less tolerant of people like me, and although things had changed a lot in the last few decades, it was too late for me to grow out of my instincts.
“All right, you two, I’m out of here.” Jenny picked up her purple bag. “Good seeing you again, detective. Try not to leave too many stains around—the maid was just here.”
“Jesus,” I grumbled.
Once Jenny left, Hayden said, “Sorry for not giving you a heads-up. I was in the neighborhood.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I was in a neighborhood.” He leaned to sniff my neck. “Seems like Jenny wasn’t the only one being naughty.”
“Are you going to arrest me?”
He held my gaze. “I don’t need to arrest you to tie you up.”
A pleasant shiver ran down my spine, settling in my crotch.
Hayden cleared his throat. “Sorry. I should be more careful with my words.”
“What do you mean?”
“The tying-you-up thing.”
It took me a few moments to understand his meaning. “If you can’t speak freely with me, I don’t think we should speak at all.”
“Jonah—”
“I’m not a delicate flower, and I can’t have you walking on eggshells around me. It’s not fair to either of us.”
He raised his hands in surrender. “Okay. I hear you. No eggshells. Promise.” He glanced at my side of the studio. “Show me what you’ve been working on.”
I went over my recent pieces—those I needed to send to buyers, and those I was hoping to sell so they wouldn’t end up collecting dust. Hayden listened to my explanations, asking questions about my technique and running his fingers over metal and copper. When we started dating, I thought he was only humoring me by pretending to care about my art, but he insisted on learning about my work, and I grew excited to share it with him.
After I finished going over everything, Hayden hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my head. “I can listen to you talk for hours, but I wouldn’t mind a nude demonstration next time.”
I turned around to face him. “I did it once because you bugged me for weeks, and I told you not to get used to it.”
“If I remember correctly, I made it worth your while—right here on this desk. And on the couch. And against that wall…”
“Okay, I remember!” Nobody could make me blush like he could. “Want to head up to the roof? The mattress should be in the closet.”
“Lead the way.”
The ‘Hipster’s Mattress’ was hidden behind some of Jenny’s junk. I’d received that mattress as a gift from a dance group that used to practice on the first floor. They called themselves ‘The Hipsters,’ which wasn’t a name real hipsters would ever use.
When we got to the roof, we wiped the dust from the mattress and lay down next to each other. It was already dark, but there weren’t a lot of stars so close to the city. At least the moon was almost full. We were far enough from the road to enjoy a peaceful silence.
“I bought a gun,” I said, wanting to get it off my chest.
He turned his face to me. “Really? You were less than thrilled when we talked about it.”
“I still don’t like it, but there’s no point pretending I’m not in danger.”
“Which one did you get?”
“A Glock 19.”
“Good choice. Let’s make sure you’ll never use it.” He cleared his throat. “I tried to talk to the Chief about the investigation again.”
“How did it go?”
“Horribly. It turned into a fight until he threw me out of his office.”
“Please don’t lose your job because of this.”
“I won’t lose my job. At least now I know his decision is final. Anyway, I pulled out all the missing person cases in LA from the last twenty years involving male actors. You said not everyone they kidnapped came from acting, but I wanted to narrow the search. I came up with eighteen names, almost all of them from over ten years ago. Seems as if The Society has either slowed down or shifted the focus elsewhere.”
“I remember hearing that their numbers were dwindling.”
“Really? Interesting. I also found another thing most of those men had in common.”
“Agatha?”
“Yes.”
I rubbed my face, not surprised but shaken by how many had been ruined because of that woman, caught in her web. “How come nobody figured out that something wasn’t right? It’s not a small coincidence.”
“Twenty years is a long time for any investigator to miss a pattern. If they had been missing children, or even missing women, someone would’ve investigated more thoroughly.”
Good to know.
“The number could be higher,” I said. “Not every missing person gets reported, right? Like me.”
“True. I still find it hard to believe no one reported you missing.”
“I barely had any friends back then. I stayed away from the gay scene, and my interactions with people in the industry were superficial. Once I met Eliot, I didn’t want to make more friends—he was enough.”
Hayden sighed. “Well, if it helps, I can see why you fell for him; he’s charming like the devil.”
Bile burned in the back of my throat. “I’m glad you’re impressed.”
Hayden held my hand and stroked it with his thumb. “Strictly an observation. I’m putting together everything I can before going to the FBI. Agatha is shaping up to be our strongest link, but I prefer to see what else we can find.”
“Will your aunt be able to get you access to the FBI? You mentioned she doesn’t work there anymore.”
“Yeah, it was a mess when she left, but she can probably direct me to the right people.” He didn’t sound fully convinced.
“I’m sure The Society has people in the FBI who’ll get in your way.”
“That is why I’m taking it slowly. At the moment, I only care about gathering information without drawing attention. I’m still working on those mugshots based on what you’ve told me about Bo. I’ll get an update once they’re ready.”
There was something I needed to ask—something that had been nagging at me ever since Hayden returned into my life. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to think before answering.”
“I don’t believe I’ll like that question, but all right.”
“If I weren’t involved in this case, would you still go through with the investigation despite being told to drop it?”
He remained silent for a long time before finally saying, “I would have dropped it. There are other cases waiting on my desk.”
I exhaled, not surprised but troubled. “Then please rethink your decision. I don’t want you to risk your job or your life because of me.”
“And what’s the alternative? You’ll wait another year for them to show up and hurt you? You’ll keep walking with a tracker for the rest of your life?”
“Yes. I’ve been doing that for over a decade, and I’m fine.”
He snorted. “You’re not fine, Jonah. Have you ever been to therapy? Did you talk to anyone about what happened?”
My skin grew hot. “I spoke with a shrink.”
“How many times?”
“For four years. I’m not fucking stupid, Hayden; I knew I should talk to someone.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid. Why did you stop going?”
“Because I was fine.” Though I never told Rebecca about the needles that calmed me down, the tracker in my leg, or the yearly visits. “I went to her when I could afford to pay. After a few sessions, she offered me a discount, so I kept seeing her for years, every single week. Rent, bills, food, and Rebecca—that was how I spent my money.” She had been the one who encouraged me to try sex again, something I had refused to do for years. Since being let go and returning to LA, I had perceived sex as an act of evil, a means of control and degradation. It took a long time and a handful of bad experiences before I could once again enjoy another man’s touch and intimacy.
“I’m glad you got help.”
“Why wouldn’t I? They didn’t break me. Don’t act like I’m broken.”
He moved swiftly and lay on top of me, his face looming above mine. “I don’t think you’re broken. I think you’re so fucking strong it makes me feel weak. Hey, look at me.”
My eyes itched, my vision turning blurry. “I can’t.”
He kissed my chin. “I want so badly to be with you in this, but I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing and driving you away again.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Not if I could help it.
“Good. Just promise to let me know if I ever hurt you.”
“You can start by not squashing my balls.”
“What? Oh.” He slid away.
“Can we just stay quiet for a bit?” I wiped my eyes.
“Sure.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling lighter as another piece of my past lay bare between us. I wonder how much more I could reveal and still have him stay. At what point would dark become too dark?
When I was about to suggest we go eat, Hayden’s phone rang. He pulled it out and answered. “Yeah, Sue? For real? That was fast… great, thank you… did you remember to keep this between us? You’re the best.”
He hung up and moved to lean on his elbow. “The mugshots I asked for are ready.”
My stomach churned. I thought we had more time. “Oh.”
“You can look at them whenever you’re ready. No pressure.”
If I had to think about those mugshots waiting for me, it would drive me crazy. “Can we go now?”
“Are you sure you’re up for it?”
“No.” I pushed myself to my feet. “But I want to get it over with.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Due to the late hour, the station was relatively quiet. The few cops we saw asked Hayden why he was there so late, and he said he’d forgotten something in his office. He led me up the stairs—the same ones I couldn’t bring myself to climb a few days prior.
His office was spacious, but he shared it with another detective who wasn’t currently there. He pulled back his chair for me to sit, as if we were on a date.
“Can I see the menu first?”
“I’ll order us pizza.”
His desk was very clean and organized, with a framed photo of a smiling Maya, resembling him by the shape of her eyes and nose. He also had a few stress relief toys. I grabbed one shaped like a banana, figuring I’d need it.
“Before you start with the mugshots, do you mind looking at the photos of the other missing actors? You might recognize some.”
I squeezed the banana. “Okay.”
He pulled out a folder from his drawer. I opened it and browsed through photos of handsome men, some younger than others. They were all smiling in their photos, likely believing their best years were ahead of them, their dreams right around the corner. “I don't recognize any of these men.” Though I could barely recall the faces of the other captives, their hatred had likely driven me to hide them in a dark part of my brain.
The sudden knock on the door startled me. I hurried to close the folder as a young female officer entered.
“Hi, Sue.” Hayden put a hand on my shoulder. “This is Jonah.”
She came to shake my hand. “Hi, I heard a lot about you.” She said to Hayden, “Everything you asked for is in your inbox. Delete it once you’re done. The Chief was loud and clear about this case.”
“Yeah, he was definitely loud.”
She snickered. “You know you’re still his favorite. Anyway, I’m out of here. Nice meeting you, Jonah.”
After she left, Hayden started his computer. His desktop background was of Robocop, his favorite film. He had made me watch it twice with him, including the shitty sequels. He was about to open one of the folders when there was another knock on the door.
My breath caught in my throat when the Chief walked in. He was as tall as Hayden, with gray hair and a gray mustache. While Hayden wore civilian clothes, the Chief wore his uniform like he had been born in it. His hawk nose set under two dark eyes that looked straight at me. I’d met him twice in my life, and he’d been friendly, but the circumstances were different now.
I hurried to my feet, though that might’ve made me seem even more suspicious.
“Working late?” The Chief’s voice was as deep as a rolling thunder.
“We’re not working,” Hayden said stiffly, “just searching online for good places to eat.”
“I see. Jonah, nice to see you again.”
“Hello, sir.” I cleared my throat. “We can’t decide on where to go for pizza. Any recommendations?”
“Are you still vegetarian?”
His memory caught me by surprise. “I am.”
“Try Alfred and Sons. Thick slices, plenty of cheese. They’re generous with their vegetable toppings.”
“Sounds good,” I said. “We’ll go there.”
The Chief nodded and asked Hayden, “Is everything okay with you?”
“Sure. Any reason it shouldn’t be?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You tell me.”
“Everything’s fine, sir.”
“Okay, then.” He turned around. “Have a nice evening, you two. Enjoy your pizza.”
Alone again, Hayden slumped onto the chair next to me, rubbing his face. I wondered if I should offer him the banana toy.
“He shouldn’t have seen you here,” he muttered. “Fuck.”
“We got out okay.”
“He didn’t buy it.”
“Then maybe we should leave.”
“No.” He turned to face me, the familiar stubbornness in his eyes. “We’re doing this.” He opened the file with the mugshots. “I know we’re searching for Bo, but you might also come across other people who worked there. Don’t dismiss a face you don’t immediately recognize. I’ll go order pizza. Be back in a sec.”
Once alone, I grabbed the banana toy and squeezed it.
Just photos. I was just going to look through some photos in the hope of coming across the monster I had fought years to forget. Easy peasy.
Hayden returned as I began clicking between rapists’ mugshots. He moved behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I flinched and shook him off. “I don’t want you touching me while I’m looking through rapists.”
Did I look poor? “Yes.”
“I have a few on sale.”
I left the store with a gun and some ammo, hoping to feel safer but feeling like a walking target.
*
“Someone’s in a good mood,” Jenny declared as I entered the studio the following day.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
She eyed me before nodding knowingly. “You had sex. No doubt about it.”
I shrugged and walked to my station. “A gentleman never tells.”
“That’s for ladies.”
“Then I’m a gentlelady.”
“You sure are!”
I turned on the stereo, which Jenny had decorated with stickers of flowers and kittens, always adding her personal touch to anything she found plain. I expected her to try decorating me eventually. “Mind if I put on some music?”
“Put on Meat Loaf.”
“Too dramatic. Oasis?”
“I’ll settle for Coldplay if we’re taking a trip to bloody Britain.”
“Coldplay it is.”
I worked for three hours on a new sculpture that one of my anonymous clients had requested. When my muscles started aching, I took a break and updated my eBay page. It was ridiculous how quickly my silly jewelry sold, even after I’d raised the prices a few times. I’d need to make more of those.
Toward the end of the day, Jenny and I took a break to share a joint next to the open window. I wasn’t a fan of anything that reduced my self-control, but Jenny’s weed wasn’t strong.
“So…” She nudged me with her elbow.
“So?”
“Don’t play coy with me, Jonah. Who was the one who deflowered you?”
“A man.”
“Well, of course it was a man. Cut the mystery, Nancy Drew.”
I sighed. “It was Hayden.”
“Hayden Hayden? Oh shit! Are you two back together?”
“We’re not.” I couldn’t allow us to get carried away while so many things were uncertain. Just having him back in my life felt like a lot.
“You never told me why you two broke up. It came out of nowhere.”
It had. One day, he showed up at my house, flushed and trembling, demanding to know about the disturbing videos of me that someone had sent him anonymously. I had always been a quick thinker, but seeing the rage in his eyes paralyzed me. He grew angrier, and I switched to survivor mode, lashing back with everything I had.
That hellish fight still echoed in my head.
My phone rang where I’d left it at my station. I handed Jenny the remaining joint before going to answer the call. It was Hayden’s number. With my heart beating slightly faster, I picked up the call. “Hey.”
“Hey, you. Still at work?”
“Yes, about ready to head home.”
“Cool. It’s been ages since I’ve been to the studio. Got any new pieces on display?”
He used to say “stuff” and “things” when referring to my work, but I’d taught him to say “pieces” instead.
I looked around. “A few.”
“Is the ‘Hipster’s Mattress’ still there?”
I smiled. “Yeah, it should still be here somewhere. When can you stop by?”
The big entrance door slid open. “Is now a good time?”
I hung up and walked to him, still not used to his presence after all these months. “I can find an open slot for you.”
“Please do. Hi there, Jenny.”
“Hayden!” She waved while still holding the joint, then realized what she was doing and hid it behind her back.
“Too late, young lady. I could smell it from downstairs. You’re leaving me no choice but to frisk Jonah.” He pulled me into a deep kiss. Jenny whistled in the background.
“Do you always frisk with your tongue?” I asked when he released me.
“Whenever I can.”
I would never feel completely natural sharing public affection with a man, even if the public was just Jenny. I had grown up when the world was less tolerant of people like me, and although things had changed a lot in the last few decades, it was too late for me to grow out of my instincts.
“All right, you two, I’m out of here.” Jenny picked up her purple bag. “Good seeing you again, detective. Try not to leave too many stains around—the maid was just here.”
“Jesus,” I grumbled.
Once Jenny left, Hayden said, “Sorry for not giving you a heads-up. I was in the neighborhood.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I was in a neighborhood.” He leaned to sniff my neck. “Seems like Jenny wasn’t the only one being naughty.”
“Are you going to arrest me?”
He held my gaze. “I don’t need to arrest you to tie you up.”
A pleasant shiver ran down my spine, settling in my crotch.
Hayden cleared his throat. “Sorry. I should be more careful with my words.”
“What do you mean?”
“The tying-you-up thing.”
It took me a few moments to understand his meaning. “If you can’t speak freely with me, I don’t think we should speak at all.”
“Jonah—”
“I’m not a delicate flower, and I can’t have you walking on eggshells around me. It’s not fair to either of us.”
He raised his hands in surrender. “Okay. I hear you. No eggshells. Promise.” He glanced at my side of the studio. “Show me what you’ve been working on.”
I went over my recent pieces—those I needed to send to buyers, and those I was hoping to sell so they wouldn’t end up collecting dust. Hayden listened to my explanations, asking questions about my technique and running his fingers over metal and copper. When we started dating, I thought he was only humoring me by pretending to care about my art, but he insisted on learning about my work, and I grew excited to share it with him.
After I finished going over everything, Hayden hugged me from behind, resting his chin on my head. “I can listen to you talk for hours, but I wouldn’t mind a nude demonstration next time.”
I turned around to face him. “I did it once because you bugged me for weeks, and I told you not to get used to it.”
“If I remember correctly, I made it worth your while—right here on this desk. And on the couch. And against that wall…”
“Okay, I remember!” Nobody could make me blush like he could. “Want to head up to the roof? The mattress should be in the closet.”
“Lead the way.”
The ‘Hipster’s Mattress’ was hidden behind some of Jenny’s junk. I’d received that mattress as a gift from a dance group that used to practice on the first floor. They called themselves ‘The Hipsters,’ which wasn’t a name real hipsters would ever use.
When we got to the roof, we wiped the dust from the mattress and lay down next to each other. It was already dark, but there weren’t a lot of stars so close to the city. At least the moon was almost full. We were far enough from the road to enjoy a peaceful silence.
“I bought a gun,” I said, wanting to get it off my chest.
He turned his face to me. “Really? You were less than thrilled when we talked about it.”
“I still don’t like it, but there’s no point pretending I’m not in danger.”
“Which one did you get?”
“A Glock 19.”
“Good choice. Let’s make sure you’ll never use it.” He cleared his throat. “I tried to talk to the Chief about the investigation again.”
“How did it go?”
“Horribly. It turned into a fight until he threw me out of his office.”
“Please don’t lose your job because of this.”
“I won’t lose my job. At least now I know his decision is final. Anyway, I pulled out all the missing person cases in LA from the last twenty years involving male actors. You said not everyone they kidnapped came from acting, but I wanted to narrow the search. I came up with eighteen names, almost all of them from over ten years ago. Seems as if The Society has either slowed down or shifted the focus elsewhere.”
“I remember hearing that their numbers were dwindling.”
“Really? Interesting. I also found another thing most of those men had in common.”
“Agatha?”
“Yes.”
I rubbed my face, not surprised but shaken by how many had been ruined because of that woman, caught in her web. “How come nobody figured out that something wasn’t right? It’s not a small coincidence.”
“Twenty years is a long time for any investigator to miss a pattern. If they had been missing children, or even missing women, someone would’ve investigated more thoroughly.”
Good to know.
“The number could be higher,” I said. “Not every missing person gets reported, right? Like me.”
“True. I still find it hard to believe no one reported you missing.”
“I barely had any friends back then. I stayed away from the gay scene, and my interactions with people in the industry were superficial. Once I met Eliot, I didn’t want to make more friends—he was enough.”
Hayden sighed. “Well, if it helps, I can see why you fell for him; he’s charming like the devil.”
Bile burned in the back of my throat. “I’m glad you’re impressed.”
Hayden held my hand and stroked it with his thumb. “Strictly an observation. I’m putting together everything I can before going to the FBI. Agatha is shaping up to be our strongest link, but I prefer to see what else we can find.”
“Will your aunt be able to get you access to the FBI? You mentioned she doesn’t work there anymore.”
“Yeah, it was a mess when she left, but she can probably direct me to the right people.” He didn’t sound fully convinced.
“I’m sure The Society has people in the FBI who’ll get in your way.”
“That is why I’m taking it slowly. At the moment, I only care about gathering information without drawing attention. I’m still working on those mugshots based on what you’ve told me about Bo. I’ll get an update once they’re ready.”
There was something I needed to ask—something that had been nagging at me ever since Hayden returned into my life. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to think before answering.”
“I don’t believe I’ll like that question, but all right.”
“If I weren’t involved in this case, would you still go through with the investigation despite being told to drop it?”
He remained silent for a long time before finally saying, “I would have dropped it. There are other cases waiting on my desk.”
I exhaled, not surprised but troubled. “Then please rethink your decision. I don’t want you to risk your job or your life because of me.”
“And what’s the alternative? You’ll wait another year for them to show up and hurt you? You’ll keep walking with a tracker for the rest of your life?”
“Yes. I’ve been doing that for over a decade, and I’m fine.”
He snorted. “You’re not fine, Jonah. Have you ever been to therapy? Did you talk to anyone about what happened?”
My skin grew hot. “I spoke with a shrink.”
“How many times?”
“For four years. I’m not fucking stupid, Hayden; I knew I should talk to someone.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid. Why did you stop going?”
“Because I was fine.” Though I never told Rebecca about the needles that calmed me down, the tracker in my leg, or the yearly visits. “I went to her when I could afford to pay. After a few sessions, she offered me a discount, so I kept seeing her for years, every single week. Rent, bills, food, and Rebecca—that was how I spent my money.” She had been the one who encouraged me to try sex again, something I had refused to do for years. Since being let go and returning to LA, I had perceived sex as an act of evil, a means of control and degradation. It took a long time and a handful of bad experiences before I could once again enjoy another man’s touch and intimacy.
“I’m glad you got help.”
“Why wouldn’t I? They didn’t break me. Don’t act like I’m broken.”
He moved swiftly and lay on top of me, his face looming above mine. “I don’t think you’re broken. I think you’re so fucking strong it makes me feel weak. Hey, look at me.”
My eyes itched, my vision turning blurry. “I can’t.”
He kissed my chin. “I want so badly to be with you in this, but I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing and driving you away again.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Not if I could help it.
“Good. Just promise to let me know if I ever hurt you.”
“You can start by not squashing my balls.”
“What? Oh.” He slid away.
“Can we just stay quiet for a bit?” I wiped my eyes.
“Sure.”
I leaned my head against his shoulder, feeling lighter as another piece of my past lay bare between us. I wonder how much more I could reveal and still have him stay. At what point would dark become too dark?
When I was about to suggest we go eat, Hayden’s phone rang. He pulled it out and answered. “Yeah, Sue? For real? That was fast… great, thank you… did you remember to keep this between us? You’re the best.”
He hung up and moved to lean on his elbow. “The mugshots I asked for are ready.”
My stomach churned. I thought we had more time. “Oh.”
“You can look at them whenever you’re ready. No pressure.”
If I had to think about those mugshots waiting for me, it would drive me crazy. “Can we go now?”
“Are you sure you’re up for it?”
“No.” I pushed myself to my feet. “But I want to get it over with.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Due to the late hour, the station was relatively quiet. The few cops we saw asked Hayden why he was there so late, and he said he’d forgotten something in his office. He led me up the stairs—the same ones I couldn’t bring myself to climb a few days prior.
His office was spacious, but he shared it with another detective who wasn’t currently there. He pulled back his chair for me to sit, as if we were on a date.
“Can I see the menu first?”
“I’ll order us pizza.”
His desk was very clean and organized, with a framed photo of a smiling Maya, resembling him by the shape of her eyes and nose. He also had a few stress relief toys. I grabbed one shaped like a banana, figuring I’d need it.
“Before you start with the mugshots, do you mind looking at the photos of the other missing actors? You might recognize some.”
I squeezed the banana. “Okay.”
He pulled out a folder from his drawer. I opened it and browsed through photos of handsome men, some younger than others. They were all smiling in their photos, likely believing their best years were ahead of them, their dreams right around the corner. “I don't recognize any of these men.” Though I could barely recall the faces of the other captives, their hatred had likely driven me to hide them in a dark part of my brain.
The sudden knock on the door startled me. I hurried to close the folder as a young female officer entered.
“Hi, Sue.” Hayden put a hand on my shoulder. “This is Jonah.”
She came to shake my hand. “Hi, I heard a lot about you.” She said to Hayden, “Everything you asked for is in your inbox. Delete it once you’re done. The Chief was loud and clear about this case.”
“Yeah, he was definitely loud.”
She snickered. “You know you’re still his favorite. Anyway, I’m out of here. Nice meeting you, Jonah.”
After she left, Hayden started his computer. His desktop background was of Robocop, his favorite film. He had made me watch it twice with him, including the shitty sequels. He was about to open one of the folders when there was another knock on the door.
My breath caught in my throat when the Chief walked in. He was as tall as Hayden, with gray hair and a gray mustache. While Hayden wore civilian clothes, the Chief wore his uniform like he had been born in it. His hawk nose set under two dark eyes that looked straight at me. I’d met him twice in my life, and he’d been friendly, but the circumstances were different now.
I hurried to my feet, though that might’ve made me seem even more suspicious.
“Working late?” The Chief’s voice was as deep as a rolling thunder.
“We’re not working,” Hayden said stiffly, “just searching online for good places to eat.”
“I see. Jonah, nice to see you again.”
“Hello, sir.” I cleared my throat. “We can’t decide on where to go for pizza. Any recommendations?”
“Are you still vegetarian?”
His memory caught me by surprise. “I am.”
“Try Alfred and Sons. Thick slices, plenty of cheese. They’re generous with their vegetable toppings.”
“Sounds good,” I said. “We’ll go there.”
The Chief nodded and asked Hayden, “Is everything okay with you?”
“Sure. Any reason it shouldn’t be?”
He narrowed his eyes. “You tell me.”
“Everything’s fine, sir.”
“Okay, then.” He turned around. “Have a nice evening, you two. Enjoy your pizza.”
Alone again, Hayden slumped onto the chair next to me, rubbing his face. I wondered if I should offer him the banana toy.
“He shouldn’t have seen you here,” he muttered. “Fuck.”
“We got out okay.”
“He didn’t buy it.”
“Then maybe we should leave.”
“No.” He turned to face me, the familiar stubbornness in his eyes. “We’re doing this.” He opened the file with the mugshots. “I know we’re searching for Bo, but you might also come across other people who worked there. Don’t dismiss a face you don’t immediately recognize. I’ll go order pizza. Be back in a sec.”
Once alone, I grabbed the banana toy and squeezed it.
Just photos. I was just going to look through some photos in the hope of coming across the monster I had fought years to forget. Easy peasy.
Hayden returned as I began clicking between rapists’ mugshots. He moved behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders. I flinched and shook him off. “I don’t want you touching me while I’m looking through rapists.”
