My Forbidden Professor: An Age Gap Off-Limits Romance, page 1
Copyright © 2023 by A.L. DeRose
All rights reserved.
No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.
Contents
1. Avery
2. Jonah
3. Avery
4. Jonah
5. Avery
6. Jonah
7. Avery
8. Jonah
9. Avery
10. Jonah
11. Avery
12. Jonah
13. Avery
14. Jonah
15. Avery
16. Jonah
17. Avery
18. Jonah
19. Avery
20. Jonah
Epilogue: Avery
Also By A.L. DeRose
Chapter one
Avery
“Hey lady, I’ll have another!”
“Yeah, just a sec,” I hollered over the noisy music in the bar.
“Miss, miss. I’m still waiting for my order,” another whiny voice rose above the din.
“Sorry, it’ll be just a couple more minutes. I’m going as fast as I can,” I called.
“Avery, let’s step it up here; we’re getting backed up,” yelled my manager.
I loaded up my tray with the next batch of beers and drinks, sucking in a deep breath as I hefted up the heavy tray. Tonight was chaotic, to say the least, and I was starting to get seriously overwhelmed. There were moments when there were enough people screaming at me that I really had to fight the urge to just walk out, but I needed this job and I made really good tips so beggars couldn’t be choosers, right?
The night was hot, and I was breaking a sweat toting all these drinks around. I hated the way my shirt clung to me, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t get me more tips. I made pretty decent tips despite this being a college town, but I’d been warned to get work at a bar far from campus if I had any hope of making any decent money. This suited me fine. When I’d said I wanted the college experience, I really had been talking about learning and setting up my future- not hanging around drunk, cheap, frat boys.
As I worked my way around the tables, I thought about what led me to the bar, to the city, and to this place in my life. I should have already graduated by now. I should have my degree and be out there chasing my career. But all of that went down the drain the moment I laid eyes on Aaron Lancaster.
I was a promising student in high school, but I didn’t come from much. My parents did their best, but we were living paycheck to paycheck. They always told me, though, that if I buckled down and studied really hard in school, I might be able to get enough scholarships to go to college. Through hard work and determination, I did just that.
In my senior year of high school, I was accepted into several prestigious colleges. My parents were more excited than I was that their daughter had the pick of the litter. That was about the time that I met Aaron.
Aaron and I met working at a Dairy Queen not too far from my neighborhood. I knew I needed to save as much money as possible to help with textbooks and gas, so most days after school, I went straight to work. Aaron was a couple of years older than me, but we instantly hit it off. He was cute and funny and the first guy to really pay me that kind of attention. It wasn’t long until we proclaimed our love for one another and promised that we would always stay together.
My parents warned me to slow down. They told me that if our love was true, then it would survive me going to school. When I looked at Aaron, though, I just saw my knight in shining armor, and there was nothing that was going to keep me from him – not my parents, not a fancy college, not the promise of a bright future. As far as I was concerned, he was my future, and we couldn’t wait to start our lives together. Days after my high school graduation, we packed up everything we owned and moved across the country. I was so excited, but I still remember the way my mother sobbed as we drove away. At the time I thought it was just her missing her baby, but now I wonder if she sensed something more sinister in Aaron that she didn’t have the heart to say.
For the first few weeks that Aaron and I were together out west, it was like a fairytale. We were kids playing at being grownups, really, but soon enough the real grown-up times would hit when the money ran out. Aaron came from serious money, but he’d told me that his parents had cut him off when he said he was moving across the country, and at the time I’d believed him. I’d picked up a job pretty quickly as soon as we got out there, but Aaron said he was having trouble finding any place to work. We had our first big fight when I got frustrated by being the only one that was working and told him that I didn’t think he was trying hard enough to get a job. That was the first time he hit me.
After that, him hitting me became all too common. It’s funny how easily and how desperately you’ll get into the habit of explaining away that kind of behavior when you love somebody. I had given up a lot to be with this guy, and now he was tossing me around like a ragdoll. I was ashamed and embarrassed, and I did not know what to do. I knew that if I needed to, I could call my parents and get help but I wasn’t ready to admit it. It took me much too long to finally pick up that phone, but once I did, things moved quickly.
My parents had arranged for a flight home and while Aaron thought I was going out to get groceries, I was actually boarding a plane home. Aaron would find the dear John letter I left beneath his pillow eventually. I was worried at first that he would follow me home, but my parents and neighbors were on high alert and it wasn’t like he wouldn’t be noticeable- he only ever drove the latest model year luxury car and such a thing was obvious in our working-class neighborhood. Plus, I didn’t go anywhere without backup. My dad hired me to answer phones at his construction site so he could keep an eye on me and I took online classes at the local community college. As much as I appreciated their help and protection after a year I knew it was time to start over fresh and get back on my own feet.
I applied to a few schools, some of which I knew I would get into fairly easily, others I knew were a long shot but I had to try anyway. When I got into one of those more difficult schools, Boston College, I took it as a sign that it was time to start over somewhere new. Boston was a big enough city after all, it would take someone like Aaron a long time to find me. Even knowing that, I still remained vigilant.
I finished delivering my tray of drinks and headed back to the bar, resisting the urge to reach into my apron pocket and count how much money I’d made. My pocket felt fat already, so I was pretty sure it was going to be a good night. I didn’t mind helping out when things got slammed out on the floor, but I breathed a sigh of relief when I got back behind the bar. This was my territory- my space. Behind that bar I not only made better tips but I could also keep a watchful eye of my patrons as well as anyone new walking through the door, it was the perfect set-up for me.
As I dumped off my empty tray at the window that fed back into the kitchen, one of the waitresses, Patrice sidled up next to me. “Looks like your favorite is here,” she commented as she grabbed a tray full of food from the order-out window. My head swiveled to look towards the opposite corner of the bar, and sure enough, there he was, his book open in front of him as he nursed a lager and his eyes trained on me. Patrice’s words pulled my attention back to her, “I can’t decide if the way he looks at you is sexy or if it’s scary.”
“Scary?” I asked because that was most definitely not a word I would use to describe Jonah, or as some of the waitstaff not-so-affectionately referred to him, “Jerky Jonah.” Jonah was older, maybe late thirties, I would guess, and he was gorgeous… and perennially grumpy. I was warned about him by some of the other girls when I started at the bar a few months before. Apparently several had tried flirting with the sexy professor but they claimed he was rude and dismissive. In the months since I’d been working at the bar, that hadn’t been my experience. Jonah just wasn’t like the other guys that hung around the bar to flirt and pick up women. He came two or three times a week and sat at the end of the bar where he would either grade papers or read a book. This was deemed “weird” by many around him but I had to give the guy credit, he did what he wanted and didn’t seem to care what others thought.
“Yeah, he looks like he’s got you tied up in his head. The question is: does he have you mentally tied to his bed? Or in his basement?” Patrice pondered before walking off with her full tray.
“I think you’re watching too many true crime documentaries again,” I called after her. I glanced over at Jonah who’d returned his attention to the book in front of him and ignored the little thrilled tingle I felt at the prospect that he was watching me. I’d caught Jonah looking at me like that before but neither one of us ever acknowledged it. I’d ask him about whatever book he was reading and sometimes this would inspire some literary lecture but mostly it just got me non-committal grunts in response.
When I looked back towards Jonah, he was staring at his book again, but I couldn’t shake the sensation that he had been looking at me milliseconds before. My attraction to Jonah was confusing for me. I wasn’t confused about why I was attracted to him. I mean, the man was gorgeous: tall, light brown hair, a jawline any male model would kill for. But even more desirable than all of those traits was the very evident intelligence in his eyes. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Professor Jonah did not miss much. I knew that m
I didn’t trust those feelings because I didn’t trust myself anymore. Not too surprising considering everything that Aaron had put me through. Honestly, after that whole ordeal, I thought for a while that I was just never being in another relationship again. There was a part of me that understood that was silly, and that I shouldn’t take that possibility away from myself but most of me just thought that was smart. At the very least, I knew it would be a long time before I would feel safe enough or comfortable enough to try having a relationship with somebody else again. At least that’s what I told myself, sometimes it scared me that I had such a difficult time picturing that ever happening for me. That’s what abuse does to you though.
Jonah inspired some feelings in me though that I hadn’t expected to feel so soon after Aaron. It’s not like it was even all that soon, I was closing in on two years since I had snuck away from my abusive ex. There was just something in Jonah’s eyes that elicited feelings I had never really felt before. I had been in love with Aaron, sure. When things were good, we’d had fun together, but Aaron was more of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. When he was in a good place he was the life of the party and fun to be around and always good for a joke, but when he was struggling, it’s like that other person didn’t even exist and there was no trace of him to be found.
With Jonah, I got the sense that what you saw was what you got. He was definitely a bit of a grump, or according to the other waitresses, a lot of a grump, but for some reason, I liked this about him. You would never catch Jonah trying to be something he wasn’t or faking it just to make somebody comfortable, and I guessed after all of the manipulation and the subterfuge with Aaron, it was refreshing to deal with a man who didn’t have it in him to fake anything. Which is what made the way Jonah looked at me all the more poignant. Jonah wasn’t generally a flirt, but every once in a while he tried flirting with me. It was a little clunky and forward, but I liked it.
I thought about what Patrice had jokingly suggested, and I felt my face grow warm. I definitely did not think this was a man that would tie me up in a basement, thank God, but I wasn’t so sure about excluding being tied to a bed. The thoughts and images I sometimes had about Jonah were made all the more confusing by the fact that I fantasized about him being a little rough and controlling with me. I know to an outside observer that might seem strange, considering what I have been through with my ex, but that’s not really how we did things sexually when we were together and looking back I had never felt safe enough with Aaron to express some of my fantasies, which as it turned out, was a good thing because giving Aaron that kind of control would have ended in disastrous results. Jonah, however, was so unerringly stable, I couldn’t help but wonder if he would take on the role of sexually domineering professor all too well.
Tonight however, I was feeling restless and a need that was making itself more and more known around Jonah which had the unexpected side effect of making me feel a little bolder. I had lived a fairly sheltered existence because of my ex, now I was wondering what it would be like to just walk up to someone I found attractive and start openly flirting. What would happen if I was the type of woman to just tell him what I wanted?
I was intercepted before I got to him by another customer wanting a drink. As I was pouring a cold one for the woman in front of me, I felt eyes on me. Surreptitiously, I looked out of my peripheral vision to see Jonah’s eyes glued to me. There was that look again. God what I wouldn’t give to see him give me that intense stare elsewhere… alone… and naked.
Maybe it was just because I’d gone so long without the touch of a man, or maybe it was the erotic images of Jonah that had been popping up in my mind more and more lately but my restlessness was getting the better of me. Feeling a courage I never had before, I approached Jonah as soon as I finished with the customer that had been in front of me. “Can I get you a refill Professor?” I asked him.
He looked a little disgruntled, like I had interrupted his thought process somehow. “You’re not one of my students Avery, so why do you insist on calling me Professor?” he asked, his voice deep and rich much like the Jack Daniels he sometimes threw back on nights when he seemed to be feeling especially adventurous.
I gave him what I hoped was a sexy smile, “maybe I just like the sound of it.”
He swallowed hard before taking another sip then answering, “don’t tell me you’re one of those women that has a fantasy about professors,” he said in a gruff voice.
I leaned my elbow on the bar closer to him and said in a soft voice, “no, I just have one of one professor.” I felt a trill of excitement and nerves race through me.
Had I just said that out loud? Well, it was too late now, it was out in the open.
He looked up at me sharply, his eyes dark and searching, his brow furrowed. And while I worried that I had just made a total ass out of myself, I still couldn’t help but be affected by the intensity in his gaze. After a long pause, he answered and the words that came out of his mouth turned my legs to jelly. It was a miracle I had the bar to hold me up, “you know Avery, every week I come in here, and I sit in the same spot, and I order the same thing, and I watch you when you’re not looking. I realize that might sound a little creepy, but I can’t seem to take my eyes off of you. I imagine all the ways I’d like to touch you and make you come… But we have a problem because I don’t get into relationships with students,” he finished flatly.
The whiplash of his statement had me reeling. I felt a flicker of irritation rise in me and I would have thought that he was just trying to give me the brush off if it wasn’t for the way that his eyes kept falling to my mouth. It may have been a long time since I have been intimate with anyone, but Jonah was not subtle about how he felt, another thing that I really liked about him. There was no guessing what he was thinking, he would let you know. This may have turned off a lot of people, but it was exactly what I needed right about now in my life.”Well, that’s good because as you said before, I’m not your student, and I don’t do relationships, period.”
Even in the dim light I could see his eyes dilate and I would be lying if I said I didn’t get a thrill from seeing this. I affected him and I was intensely curious to what he would look like if we were to do more. He opened his mouth to say something then stopped himself. His brow furrowed a little more tightly and then he reached down and pulled his wallet from his pocket and threw down a few bills next to his drink. He then shut his book and slipped off of his stool. He gave me one last long look that traveled from my mouth and lingered around my chest before being cut off from where I was leaning against the bar. He met my eyes again, “you don’t know what you’re asking for Avery,” he said then turned on his heel and walked out.
I felt a hot wave of embarrassment crash over me. I had basically thrown myself at this guy, and he had been so unnerved by it that he had to leave. I quickly busied myself with cleaning up the bar and disposing of the drink that he had left behind, hoping that the movement would help to dilute the acidic swirl in the bottom of my belly.
I tried to put the incident in the back of my mind as the night wore on, and I wavered between being completely mortified and being angry. He could have just let me down easy, he didn’t have to make a fool out of me… even though, a voice reminded me, he hadn’t made a fool out of me really. It’s not like anybody else had heard the exchange between us.
As we neared closing time, the bar emptied out. I didn’t typically have to shoo away too many customers during the weekdays, the weekends, however, were a whole other story. The last customer left with a few minutes to spare before official closing time. I rushed to clean up the tables because the quicker they got cleaned and everything got shut down the quicker I could get out of there, rush home and lock myself in and properly chastise myself for such an embarrassing blunder. I was thinking this was going to be a Golden Girls marathon and Ben & Jerry’s kind of the night. I was bringing out the big guns, but I was pretty sure I was going to need it to get my mind off one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I wasn’t even ready to ponder yet how I would face Jonah again after this. Maybe he was so insulted by the whole situation he wouldn’t come back. Part of me kind of hoped that would be the case. Then the other part of me felt an instant pang of loss at the thought of not seeing him again.
