A River of Golden Bones, page 17
I fisted my hands in Grae’s tunic as I wrung out my grief, clinging to him with desperation—the anchor in my storm.
“I’ve got you,” he whispered, arms tightening around me. That tenderness broke me further. “I’m here.”
I allowed myself to fall apart in his arms, knowing he would hang on to me. I purged that sorrow from me, that festering pain that threatened to swallow me whole, some of it building within me my whole life. My sobs slowly morphed into sniffles, riding over the sharp cliff of pain and tumbling down into exhaustion. The tension in my body eased and finally I could take a deep breath.
With each slower breath, I saw the road ahead with new clarity. I’d defeat Sawyn and spend the rest of my life making it up to them. No more people would risk their lives fleeing my kingdom. I’d give them something I’d never truly felt myself—home.
“How long have you two been together?”
I lifted my eyes to meet Malou’s assessing silver gaze. Grae bristled beside me, sitting a little straighter at the question. The back of the wagon was packed with the twins and Navin on one bench and all four of us Wolves across from them.
“It depends when you’re counting from,” Grae said. “Some might say we’ve been together our whole lives.”
Mina smiled dreamily. “That’s so romantic.”
I coughed, trying to cover my laugh. She seemed more besotted with my mate than I did at that moment. My eyes scanned down her satin half-shirt, a sheer top over it revealing the peeks of skin on her shoulders and belly. It tucked into a pink pleated skirt, the fabric billowing at her feet. The garment was designed for hot Rikeshi summers, not the brisk air of Taigos, but she didn’t seem to mind, her long thick hair wrapping around her back like a shawl.
I’d always wondered how people knew what to wear. The colors and patterns Mina wore now suited her perfectly—everything from the way she styled her hair to the golden rings on her fingers to the hue of her painted lips. I wished I could feel that way—so steady in my appearance. My clothes never looked right on my body, the shade of the fabric, the cut—it was always just off, as if my clothing was as confused about what I was trying to be as the rest of my soul.
“Where’s your ring?” Malou nodded to my hand and I folded my arms.
“Lost,” Grae and I both started at once.
Sadie and Hector snickered, and Grae gave them a look like a tutor scolding children.
“Are you going to get her a new one?” Malou looked between the two of us.
“It depends,” Grae said.
I twisted toward him before he could carry on that sentence, worried he’d reveal something about who we were. I placed my hand on his knee and that seemed to catch him off guard.
“Shall we go ring shopping in Taigoska?” I cocked my head, putting on a honeyed tone that I knew he’d know was fake.
He dropped his hand on top of mine, holding it there, calling my bluff.
“Splendid,” he said with equal charm. He leaned in and kissed my cheek, whispering, “Why haven’t you looked at me all morning? Are we back to that?”
I blushed, pretending what he had said was a sweet nothing murmured in my ear. I batted him away playfully, but forcefully. “Oh you,” I tittered, trying to sound like Briar. I had no clue how to play these cat and mouse games.
His observation cut, though. I hadn’t been able to meet his gaze after our shared moment in the tent. That storm within me was too raw to relive in the daylight. I couldn’t look at him without falling apart all over again. He probably thought it was directed toward him, but it was me I was protecting. That moment was too delicate to touch without it falling to pieces.
“I can’t believe it’s summer in Damrienn, and look.” Sadie tipped her head to the half-moon window at the back of the wagon.
Flurries of snow danced in through the open window, melting before reaching the ground. With the insulated walls and press of so many occupants, they’d needed to open the window even in the blizzard. Galen den’ Mora seemed to flex with each changing season, contort to the weather and the temperature, as if the magic applied not only to the oxen and the wheels but to the comfort of the occupants inside. I, for one, was grateful.
“Are you cold?” Navin asked, standing and turning to the bench before Sadie could object. He flipped up the wooden seat to reveal a compartment filled with pillows and blankets. “Here.” He opened a blanket and leaned over to place it on Sadie’s legs, but Hector snatched the corner, pulling it over both of them.
“Thanks,” he said, covering his and his sister’s legs with it. I pressed my lips together. Now he was just being childish. “Will we reach Taigoska tonight?” he asked, clearly having paid little attention to our many conversations about our travel plans.
“We’re stopping in Hengreave,” Malou replied. “We’re scheduled to play for the Lord. We’ll spend the night there and leave for the capital the following day.”
Navin looked at Hector’s pinched expression. “How long did you expect it would take to traverse an entire kingdom?”
“I don’t know,” Hector murmured, his shoulders rising to his ears as he stared. I could almost see his Wolf in the way he looked at Navin—hackles raised, snarling maw, vicious golden eyes. But, to Navin’s credit, he kept his unwavering, open, kind face as he stared back.
“He’s just eager to see Olmdere.” Sadie covered for her brother, shifting her weight in front of him to break their stare down.
“It’s a big climb into the Stormcrest Ranges, even for magical oxen,” Malou said.
It felt like time we didn’t have, yet the choice seemed out of our hands. Not with King Nero’s hounds and Sawyn’s Rooks out there looking for us.
Thinking of Nero, I released my hand off Grae’s leg as if it were burning me, suddenly regretting the weakness that I showed him. I shouldn’t have let myself go like that—shouldn’t have cried in his arms. A life with him would mean being under King Nero’s control, whether Grae wanted it that way or not. And if he promised me he’d stand up to his father this time, I still wouldn’t believe him. There was just too much evidence to make me feel otherwise. And that little seed of doubt in his promises and actions was enough to undo any hope rising in my heart. I couldn’t be happy with someone I didn’t trust.
Grae cleared his throat as though trying to ignore my action. He lifted his arm and rested it across the back of the bench.
“There’s not much to do in Hengreave,” Malou said. “The tavern’s halfway decent if you need somewhere to entertain yourselves while we’re rehearsing, but . . .”
“We might hike the crater,” Grae said. “Rumors say its waters have magical healing properties.” He tipped his head toward me, and I felt keenly aware of the bruises on my face. “Worth a try.”
“You’ve been to Hengreave before?”
“A few times,” Grae hedged.
I’d imagined Wolves had invited him to all the important houses and towns in neighboring kingdoms as an ambassador. But Hengreave was a human town, ruled by a human Lord . . . it wouldn’t make sense for the heir of Damrienn to be visiting there.
“I wouldn’t hike up that crater for a thousand griftas,” Malou said. “But suit yourself.”
“It’ll probably take you all day.” Navin stretched his fingers out in front of him. “And that’s if you’re fast.”
With a sudden rock of the wagon, my chest moved forward and slammed back into the unyielding wood bench. Grae’s hand slipped from the backrest and caught my head just before it smacked into the wood.
“Esh! Fast reflexes there,” Navin said.
I glowered at Grae. He should’ve just let me take the knock. It would’ve been fine, maybe the smallest bruise on my body at that point. My spine still ached from being stomped on by the Rooks, though Grae’s salve had helped. It’s the longest I’d ever remained wounded for, but I still didn’t want to risk shifting.
“Maybe you should go lie down,” Mina suggested.
Exhaustion hit me as though she had conjured it into being with her words. My limbs felt heavy, my head fuzzy, and I knew all of my energy was going into healing the many injuries covering my body.
“Good idea,” I murmured, rising on shaking legs.
The wagon rocked again and I tumbled to the side. Grae’s hands shot out, grabbing my hips and steadying me.
“I’m fine,” I snarled, shoving his hands away when he didn’t let go. No one seemed to notice the way I pushed him away, or, at the very least, didn’t find it strange. I was too tired to act like his wife.
He just said “Mmhmm,” and the next thing I knew Grae was standing before he scooped one arm under my legs and the other under my back. He lifted me with ease, climbing the steps up to the second level.
“They’re adorable.” Malou’s voice dripped with sarcasm.
“Put me down,” I hissed.
“You’re not used to being this injured,” Grae whispered back, echoing my own thoughts. The warmth of his chest radiated into my cheek. My limbs betrayed me as they wrapped around him, hypnotized by his warmth. “The last thing we need is you falling and cracking your head open. Plus, I’m supposed to be your doting husband, remember?”
“Fine,” I snapped, and he chuckled.
We reached my bunk and Grae gently set me down. He pulled away only an inch, his warm breath skirting over my cheek.
His eyes stormed with intensity as he said, “You must be tired.”
“Why?” I breathed.
His hand slid up my arm toward my fingers, still wrapped around his neck. “You can let go of me now.”
“Right.” My cheeks set on fire. I hastily released him and turned away.
“Sweet dreams, little fox,” he whispered.
“Thank the Moon we don’t have to sleep on that wagon again.” Hector shucked his boots and set them beside the roaring fire. The rocky ride had taken its toll on him and he still looked peakish.
I stared out the window, chill seeping from the pane. Below, the village of Hengreave was buried in snow. Mounds of grimy brown ice lined the streets, the steep rooftops dusted in white. How deep was the town submerged? I couldn’t see the cobbles or the bottom steps that led down from the raised houses.
“You should ride up front with Ora,” Sadie said, swinging her feet from the top bunk.
Grae had bought out the entire room, so we didn’t have to share with travelers. Two bunks, a seating area, and a giant clothes rack around a hearth to dry snow-sodden clothes. I was grateful that he hadn’t tried to get a suite for just the two of us. I didn’t think I could handle another night alone with him.
“I’ve got to keep an eye on you,” Hector replied, tilting his head and staring up at his sister. His shortly cropped hair was growing long enough to stick up at odd angles now and he brushed down his stubbly hair.
“I don’t need you to keep an eye on me,” Sadie retorted.
“I’ve seen the way that human looks at you.” Hector glanced at Grae. “Right?”
Grae laughed and continued unpacking his bag. “I’m staying out of this.”
“He doesn’t look at me like anything, and his name is Navin, not that human,” Sadie growled.
“It wouldn’t work out, Sadie.” Hector stretched out on his bed, placing his hands behind his head. “He’s not one of us.”
“I know—”
“Enough,” I snapped, my breath fogging the glass. “She gets it, Hector. Back off.”
“Not all halflings have cheerful stories like Lord Hengreave,” Hector muttered. “If the Silver Wolf pack hasn’t disowned us already, this would definitely do it.”
“Wait—” I whirled. “Lord Hengreave is a halfling?”
“You didn’t know?”
“I can’t imagine gossip was a part of her lesson plans,” Grae noted, laying his jacket over the wooden slats of the clothes rack.
“It’s one of those things that everyone knows, but no one talks about,” Sadie said, combing her fingers through her hair. “Lord Hengreave is the illegitimate son of the late Taigosi king and half-brother of the current queen.”
“What?” My eyes widened. “I didn’t think it was possible to conceive a half-wolf.”
“It’s possible,” Hector muttered, tucking his hands under his head. “But rare.”
“The Taigosi king gave his son a lordship out here, away from the city and the Ice Wolf pack.” Sadie shook her head. “The late Queen was none too pleased.”
Vellia had taught us all about the different royal families, but I’d never heard this part of the Taigosi history before.
“Don’t get too comfortable,” Grae said, switching the subject. “We’re hiking up the crater today.”
“Do we have to?” Sadie groaned.
“No one will be up there.” Grae kept his back to us, laying his gear across the top bunk. He’d brought a slew of weapons with him and an extensive kit of elixirs and remedies. No wonder his bag dropped like a stone whenever he set it down. “We need to shift.”
“We don’t need to shift.” Sadie raked her fingers through her bangs, pointing her foot at me. “She does.”
“I’m fine,” I said with little conviction. I’d slept the rest of the day and through the night in the wagon and still didn’t feel fully revived. Sleep seemed like the only thing I could do, and it wasn’t enough. “I’m healing.”
“At the pace of a human.” Hector looked me over. “That wound on your chin hasn’t even fully scabbed over yet.” He pretended to gag and I scowled at him. “How the humans handle it, I have no idea.”
“I’ll survive,” I muttered, narrowing my eyes at him. I unlaced the leather strapping holding my pack closed and pulled out the tincture Ora gave me.
“And if we suddenly get attacked by Rooks again?” Hector asked. “Is that salve going to help us fight a mob? Think like a soldier, Calla.”
Grae nodded. “Exactly.”
I groaned as I sat beside my bag and rested my head against the peeling wallpaper. “I have been thinking.”
Sadie unsheathed her knife from her belt and twisted it in her hands. “That’s not ominous at all.”
“If you two turn back now—”
“No,” the siblings said in unison.
“I’ve already tried, little fox,” Grae said, selecting a dagger to add to his belt. “They may squabble endlessly, but on this they agree.”
“You could blame us,” I pleaded. “Say that we made you and you had no other choice.”
“King Nero would still skin us alive,” Hector said. “We disobeyed him. And to disobey him is to turn our backs on the pack.”
I ground my teeth until my jaw muscles ached. “That’s a stupid rule.”
“It’s one your ancestors benefited greatly from,” Hector reminded, crossing his legs and staring at the slates above him. “The Wolves became Gods to the humans, and the Kings became Gods to the Wolves.”
“Even without Grae,” Sadie cut in, “we’d still have come. Maez is like our sister. She’s our family. And if Princess Briar is still alive, that means Maez is still alive, too, and I won’t let her rot away in a dungeon, even if it means being killed for saving her.”
I rubbed my hand down my face, grimacing as my fingers skated over my bruised jaw. “I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t put us in this position, Calla,” Hector said. “But maybe when you’re Queen of Olmdere, you can pardon us.”
My eyes darted to Grae. “You told them?”
“That’s your story to tell.” Grae shook his head. “But they guessed it.”
“It seemed far more likely than that faery finding another random Gold Wolf pup the exact same age as the princess and deciding to raise them together,” Hector said, tipping over the side of his bed to look at me. “They say the Marriels had green eyes and red hair. Your sister got the red hair and you the green eyes.”
“And then you and Briar both finding fated mates on the same full moon. It’s so obvious now that I think of it.” Sadie chuckled. “I don’t know why we hadn’t guessed it before.”
“No wonder King Nero didn’t want us to rescue Maez,” Hector said. “He traded one Gold Wolf Princess for another, and the mate of his son, no less. He doesn’t need Briar anymore.”
“That’s all we’re good for,” I snarled. “Being married off to princes.”
Grae’s fingers stilled on the laces of his boots, but he didn’t reply.
“I’ve been thinking,” Hector said, no subtlety in his change of subject. “We should try to find some nitehock while we’re in the capital.”
“Stealing poisons?” Sadie leaned over to look down at her brother. “You can’t be serious.”
“They’re said to nullify dark magic.” Hector glared back at her. “And we honestly need all the options we can think of. Does anyone else have a better plan? How are we meant to kill Sawyn with her full power turned on us? You saw what she did in Highwick.”
“If a few more Wolves tried to fight her off, it could’ve gone differently,” I noted, and Hector had the good sense to look ashamed. They’d been there and they did nothing.
“But there won’t be a few more Wolves,” Hector countered. “Just us four, maybe five if we free Maez and she’s in a good enough condition to fight . . . that’s not exactly an army.”
“We won’t find nitehock in the human quarter, not prepared at least,” I said. “Maybe the seeds, but even then we’d have to find an illegal trader. And it’s too risky to go near the Ice Wolves.”
“They wouldn’t look twice at us if we were with the humans. We could slip in and out of the palace through the servants’ quarters undetected. Wouldn’t you feel better storming into your castle knowing you had a weapon that could actually defeat the sorceress?” Hector looked between Sadie and Grae for support, but neither of them looked convinced. “Galen den’ Mora is playing in the capital in two days’ time. We could go with them. It’s the perfect cover.”
“I’m with Calla,” Sadie said, laying back in her bunk. “It’s too dangerous.”
