Ruining Me: The Insidious Seven MC, Book Two, page 31
So now, with this bright shining spot in my darkness cuddled safely in my arms, I decide to stop fighting this connection we have and start fighting to keep it, to strengthen it. I think I decided the first moment I pulled her lip behind my teeth and marked her as mine; it’s just taken the rest of me this long to catch up with my heart.
She may be my exact opposite in every conceivable way, but I’ve finally figured out that I don’t want a life without her in it. I need her lighting my way and driving me fucking crazy with her smart mouth for the rest of my existence.
It’s getting late, and I need to wake her now. I take one last deep breath against her, allowing my favorite scent to fill my lungs. I’ve delayed waking her for long enough. She’ll have my balls if I let her sleep any longer and make her late for work.
Squeezing her close to me, I gently roll us until she’s on her back. I hover over her as she stretches beneath me, the move reminding me of a black cat. Her dark eyelashes flutter sleepily as she grins up at me. My breath catches in my throat as I take in that small smile meant only for me.
Turns out, I don’t need any damn flowers afterall.
I graze my fingers down her side as she raises her hands above my head before wrapping them around my shoulders. My stomach clenches as she plays with the hair at the nape of my neck.
“You’re still here,” she mumbles, sleep thickening her words. I lean down and trail my nose from the hollow of her throat up until my lips hover over hers. I lightly graze them against hers and relish the way she sighs and softens under me.
I’m not going anywhere either.
“I didn’t want to wake you,” I murmur against her lips. “But you have to be at work soon,” I say before leaning in further and pressing my lips against hers. I take my time as I lavish her with kisses. She moans into my mouth as her nipples pucker between us. My cock hardens as she opens like a book, eager to be devoured by the reader. Our tongues slowly dance together, each new lick sending zaps of arousal down my spine.
Before I get too swept up in her, I force myself to pull away. Her eyes shine up at me as she searches my gaze. A small frown creases her brows as she swallows thickly. Is she thinking I’m about to run again? I can’t say that I blame her; I've never given her any reason to believe I’m capable of anything other than fleeing.
It’s time to right that wrong.
Quickly, before I change my mind and tie her up so she can never leave me again, I give her one final peck and roll off of her. Turning away, I grab my discarded pair of jeans and stand.
“Besides,” I say, turning to face her, nearly losing my thoughts as I memorize the way she looks right now—disheveled and gloriously naked. “I need to go find Liam,” I say while shoving my foot through one side of my jeans. I raise my brows and glance up at her through my lashes. She mirrors my expression with wide eyes.
“Liam?” she balks as she leans up on her elbows. I suppress my urge to grin as I shove my other foot into my jeans and pull them up. “Why do you need to go find my brother?”
Carefully, I grab my dick and catch Sofee’s eye before tucking it into my jeans. Her nostrils flare as a red stain crawls up her chest. I’ve lost track of how many orgasms I’ve given her today, but she proves just how insatiable she truly is with that one ravenous stare. It seems that at the first sign of my stiff length, she’s ready to eat me alive. And if it weren’t for my pressing need to truly claim her as mine, I’d gladly settle myself between her splayed thighs and find my home once more.
But, I need to do this the right way.
It’s bad enough I already fucked his sister in deplorably delicious, downright filthy ways. If I’m actually going to do this, if I’m going to make Sofee mine, I have to ensure Liam's okay with it. Even if the likelihood of him blaming her is minuscule, I can’t risk any backlash raining on her head. I don’t want to make her regret this any more than she might already.
I zip and button my jeans, taking away her fun entirely before crouching in front of her. Grabbing her chin, I pull her closer until she is forced to sit upright. “So I can tell him about us,” I confess, brushing my lips against hers.
She inhales sharply before pulling away from me. Her lips open and close like a fish out of water as she searches for her words. I cut her off before she has a chance to find them as I grab her hands and stand, pulling her up with me. I gather her in my arms, letting my hands find her ass before pulling her flush against my front. She cranes her neck to look up at me.
“I need to do this, La Mia Alba,” I murmur, noticing her hooded glaze at my words. “I’ve tried ignoring you. Tried pushing you away and making you hate me.” Her lips part on a breath as I raise my hands to her lower back and higher still. “I’ve tried shoving down everything I feel for you by avoiding you and running in the opposite direction,” I say as my hands reach the back of her neck and then her hair. Leaning towards her, I bring her forehead to mine as I finally speak my truth. “I don’t want to run and hide anymore, Sofee. I’m tired of ignoring whatever this is between us. I want to be with you more than I want my next breath,” I confess.
Her eyes glisten with barely restrained emotion as she stares up at me. Her lips part into a small smile that grows by the second. I feel her delicate hands as they find my forearms. I pull her lips to mine, her smile never faltering as I kiss her again.
But before it can get too deep, I pull away and kiss the tip of her nose before tucking her against me. I hug her as the smell of rose petals surrounds us, and a sense of peace flows over me.
“So, I’m going to talk to your brother, and you’re going to get ready for work. When you get home tonight, I’ll be here waiting for you.”
“You’re not running?” she asks, causing me to chuckle softly. She squeezes me around my middle as she nuzzles my chest.
I reluctantly pull her away from me and meet her stare. “I’m done running,” I promise. She smiles up at me, showcasing her brilliant light that I will never fully deserve. Stooping down, I pick up my shirt along with her tank top. After handing it to her, I quickly pull my shirt over my head and back away toward the door.
“Now I just have to figure out if your brother is going to let me live long enough to stand still,” I say as a shiver of trepidation snakes down my spine. I catch her snort of laughter as she covers her perfect tits with her top and starts searching for her scrub pants.
I grip the door handle as she glances back at me. Twisting it, I step into the hallway and take her in one last time. Her smile is softer than I’ve ever seen it. Worry clear from her expression for the first time as she stares at me with something unrecognizable glittering in her chocolate eyes. I memorize her in this moment so I can call upon it the next time I feel unworthy of love. If a creature as brilliant and wonderful as her can look at me with pure adoration in her eyes, I can find it in me to give myself the same amount of grace next time I need it.
“See you soon, Brat,” I promise before closing the door with a soft click. Maybe I shouldn’t feel this unburdened before all the cards have been laid on the table. But for the first time in years, the ever-present daunting weight on my shoulders feels lighter as I close the door to my secret obsession and embrace my new mission of revealing her to my world.
TWENTY-FIVE
SOFEE
Just as I spot my pants on the floor, the roar of an engine pulls my attention, making me think that perhaps fate had always intended this for me and Declan. Maybe all this time, we have been too blind to see what was right in front of our faces, allowing our stubbornness to render us both sightless to our future.
Quickly, I grab my scrubs and hastily shove my feet inside the stretchy fabric. The loud rattling exhaust quiets to an idle as I hop toward the window while pulling the maroon scrubs over my hips. Once my gaze snags on the metallic purple Harley Davidson rumbling in the parking lot, I have no doubt that this was written in my destiny. How else would you explain my brother coming back from his ride with Tatum at the exact moment Declan left to speak with him?
My heart threatens to climb out of my throat as I see him shoving out the door just below where I’m standing. I hear nothing from inside the building as the door slams shut behind him and I smile to myself. He did a good job of soundproofing this place. It’s much quieter here than it is in my current living quarters, which is a good thing. If we are really going to attempt this relationship, it would be best if my brother isn’t able to hear us fucking just down the hall from him.
That, and it will be nice not to hear the biker bar directly beneath my bed. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve fallen asleep to the soothing vocal renditions of Nikki Sixx as he sings about his favorite exotic dancers.
I can’t tell if it’s a thrill of excitement or trepidation that snakes down my spine as I watch Declan walk across the parking lot with determination in each step. He draws nearer as the couple slowly stands from the motorcycle. Tatum removes her helmet and shakes out her long, wet-looking, purple locks before glancing up at Liam. His smile is so bright for her that I have no issue seeing his pearly whites even at this distance.
Look your fill now. That smile is about to disappear.
The thought makes my breath catch in my throat as Declan strides toward the couple next to the bike. I see the moment Liam spots him and sends him a short wave. His footfalls never falter as his stride remains steady. Too bad I can’t say the same about my heartbeat. The feeling of a thousand drums beating inside my chest has me checking my smartwatch to track my heart rate. This must be what a heart attack feels like.
No, this is a panic attack, girly pop. You might not want to watch this next part.
But I can’t force myself to stop watching as Declan steps up to Liam right as Tate steps away. Her mostly wet hair flies behind her as she walks my way with a bounce in her stride. The easy smile on her lips is so at odds with the anxious feeling in my gut as my eyes find my brother again. He still has a small grin on his lips as he pulls his eyes from Tatum’s backside and meets Declan’s as he begins to speak. My stomach drops as if I’m in free fall.
“Oh, God. I’m gonna hurl,” I mumble to myself before bending at the waist and grabbing my knees, trying my hardest to keep the contents in my stomach at bay even as I refuse to take my eyes off the men.
Told you to look away—
“Just shut the fuck up already,” I say to the invisible voice inside my head and then bite back a nervous snort of laughter, remembering what Declan said about me always mumbling to myself like a fucking lunatic. For some reason, the thought calms my stomach and even lowers my heart rate.
I slowly stand back to my full height as I recall all the other things Declan admitted to me in this room. All the little things that he has noticed about me over the years. With each revelation I recall, I become calmer than ever before. My chest loosens, and the knot in my gut shrinks. I feel like I can breathe normally again, even as my gaze lingers on Declan’s back as he and Li start to walk into the clubhouse. As they disappear inside, I push away from the window, feeling lighter than I have in days. Weeks even.
The truth is, I don’t know if this was always fate’s plan for me. But finally discovering how Declan has truly felt about me for all this time has made things feel more settled. Declan may call himself obsessed with me, but I only see a man who took the time to learn about the woman he’s interested in. He picked up on all the little things, unlike most others would have. He actually took the time to learn about me—my preferences and needs. And it’s a breath of fresh air.
So, instead of having a panic attack about how my brother is going to handle all of this, I’m choosing to leave it up to fate. Because at the end of the day, I haven’t the slightest inkling as to how this will end for Declan and me. He could shatter me, break my heart into such tiny pieces I wouldn’t have a prayer at reassembling it. Total devastation could very well be the only thing I discover at the end of this road. But I could also find everything I’ve been looking for. And that knowledge alone makes the risk worth it.
So, with that solidifying notion, I straighten my spine and step away from the window. Whatever happens, I’m going along for the ride. Because it’s better to be on the bike than to be dragged behind it.
I really should be a part of this conversation with Liam. But one quick glance at my watch has me scanning the floor in search of my scrub top. I’m supposed to be receiving report in about twenty minutes. I’ll be lucky to make it to work on time with traffic. Maybe I put it in the kitchenette.
“Hey, you heading to the bar?”
The softly muffled words coming out of nowhere make my steps falter. I glance toward the closed and locked door that leads to the hallway in search of the voice. Furrowing my brows, I listen as another soft voice speaks, but it’s not coming from the hallway.
“Yeah, I’m just changing my top really quick. I don’t think Li was expecting the sudden change in weather we ran into, and I’m soaked.”
I flick my gaze toward the bathroom where Tatum’s voice sounds like a beacon to my ears. My feet move on their own as if someone is pulling my strings. Wracking my brain, I step past the open door and glance around the mostly empty room.
“Can we talk? I want to run a job by you.”
Max’s voice, coming from a phone resting on the vanity, has me crinkling my brows together. I step into the bathroom and pick up the black phone. The screen is dark, but by the sounds of it, an app is running in the background. Is this Declan’s phone?
“Yeah, give me a f—” A loud rustling sound comes from the speaker. “What is this doing in here?”
Tatum’s voice suddenly sounds louder and clearer over the speaker, startling me into dropping the phone. I fumble to grab it, hitting the button on the side and lighting up the phone as I do. Glancing down at the screen, I squint at the illuminated display, trying to figure out what I’m looking at.
Confusion thrashes me like a stiff breeze as a security feed fills the screen. Multiple camera angles, at least fifteen, all clustered together on the small display. My breath trembles in my lungs as I start to vaguely recognize the scenes before me. My fingers shake as I reach out and press one. The surveillance feed fills the screen, and my heart leaps to my throat, trying to claw its way out.
The video feed appears to be from a hospital waiting room. But not just any waiting room, my hospital waiting room. I tap the screen, searching for a pause or play button. But when nothing appears except for all the other feeds, I realize this isn’t a recording. It's a live feed. Why does Declan have this on his phone?
“Why is Sofee’s scrub top in here?”
Tatum’s question is almost drowned out by the high-pitched ringing that starts in the back of my skull and creeps forward until it’s consuming my eardrums. I frantically click through screen after screen, exploring every possible angle that the app has available. Each view displays various perspectives from the security feed in the hospital. I notice my coworkers on the screen, some of whom I am scheduled to work with tonight and others who are clocking out at this very moment.
My hands are trembling so hard I fear I may never be able to steady them again as I swipe out of the app. And when I read the bold letters in the small app icon, all the breath is knocked from me. Tears spring to my eyes as the letters “TSA” become imprinted in my brain, along with the small words below.
The Sofee App.
Gasping, I drop the phone as if it burned my hand and back away from the vanity. The phone clatters around the sink before finally coming to rest, taunting me by remaining on. My chest feels like it's about to cave in and explode at the same time. Emotion swamps me, burning my nose and the back of my throat as if I’ve swallowed hellfire. I pull in a ragged breath before clamping my hands over my mouth and squeezing my nose with my fingers, holding my breath until my eyes feel like they’re about to bulge out of my skull.
“Wasn’t she in here earlier?”
Max’s voice echoes around the sink as my vision becomes watery, and realization settles into my bones. Pulling my hands away from my face, I try to take a calming breath even as hot tears continue to leak from my eyes. My hands are wet as I grab for the phone again and turn toward the door in a rush.
“Yeah, but—”
Tatum’s response fades away, ending with a soft gasp just as I grip the door handle and yank it open. Nearly bouncing off the doorframe in my haste, I rush out into the hallway to catch the live-action version of their conversation. How could he do this to me?
“Fuck, she left her badge here.”
Her words are echoed with a half-second delay as I hear them coming from her apartment and my hand. I never slow my stride as I step past the open door and spot Max and Tatum next to the window seating area. Both of their eyes snap to me as I barrel down on them. Tate faces me fully with raised brows as if I’ve caught her by surprise.
That makes two of us then.
“Sofee,” she says. Her eyes widen as her voice reverberates around the room from my hand. “Shit,” she breathes and holds her hands up toward me, my matching scrub top dangling from her hand. And with that one word, I realize that she has known what was happening right under my nose this whole time.
A raging inferno takes root in my gut and bleeds hotly into my veins, scorching me from the inside out. Hardening my jaw, I step up to her and yank the top out of her hand. My fingers fumble with the badge until I get a good grip on the hard plastic. The soft fabric rips before the clasp gives way, releasing my ID. Dropping the ruined garment, I hold the badge up to my face and scowl at the picture of myself before turning it to Tatum.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Max chants beside her, her words echoing around the room. Her panicked words proving that she’s also involved in this elaborate invasion of privacy, as she agitatedly threads her fingers through her short-cropped hair.
I barely manage to swallow around the enormous lump in my throat as I stare between the two girls I just accepted as friends. That old hurt rears its ugly head as the betrayal swells thickly between us in a river of deceit.
