Sue, page 5
Sue shook her head. She didn’t want to give the idea up. But she had to at least appear to agree. “Yes. It’s just I was so certain.”
“I understand. But how about from here on out you leave the detective work to…well, to the detectives?” Sanders smiled to relieve the sting of her words. “Now, I’ll see you out if you’ll come this way.”
“Can I have my papers?” Sue asked, slipping her arms into her coat.
Detective Sanders hesitated.
“I can just print them off again when I get home,” Sue said softly.
Sanders frowned, but walked to her desk and brought them back. “Here you go.” She ushered Sue to the door. Shaking her head, Sanders walked back inside.
After Sue left the police station, she drove around aimlessly, angry and frustrated. She had known for sure that she was on the right track. Now she had to keep searching.
As she sat at a stoplight, a maroon van with a dark-haired driver passed in front of her, fishtailing a little on the snowy streets. Sue’s heart almost stopped. Zeke! She stepped on the gas, making a right turn and cutting off a delivery truck whose driver responded with a long horn blast. Sue was oblivious. She could see the van two cars in front of her and kept her eyes glued to the vehicle. She followed.
They were close to Re-books and Sue gasped. Surely he hasn’t gone back to his old job. But no, the van drove on past, finally turning into the parking lot of a busy shopping center. Sue trailed behind as the vehicle slowed and pulled into a space in front of the Lolly Pa-Looza Candy Shop.
Sue slammed on the brakes in the center of an aisle. Cars honked behind her but she remained frozen as the driver’s door opened and a man stepped out. It wasn’t Zeke. The man’s only resemblance was his dark hair. He sauntered around the van, opened the back door, and helped a little boy in a puffy blue snowsuit from his car seat. Both man and child turned curious eyes toward the commotion. Insistent car horns behind her finally jolted Sue into awareness and turned her attention back to the road. She eased into an empty slot near a mound of snow dumped by the plows and dropped her head in her hands. She was losing it. Sue sobbed for several very long minutes.
“I can’t keep doing this to myself. And lord. What did I think I was going to do if it had been Zeke? Get out and what? Kick him? Yell at him?” She sat in the idling car for a few minutes and worked to bring her emotions under control. Finally, she took note of her surroundings. Realizing she was near Will’s office, Sue drove directly there. She’d arrange to get Melvin back; plus, she needed someone to talk to.
Moments later, she pulled up in front of a white Cape Cod with black trim that had been remodeled to accommodate a couple of businesses. She stepped up on the wide porch and glanced at the sign posted near the door. Will’s office was straight ahead on the ground floor.
Sue entered the attractively decorated foyer. Lamps painted with lighthouse scenes sat on low tables between guest chairs. The walls held several seascape prints by a local artist. A small counter divided the rear offices from the front. Bells pealed softly as the door drifted closed behind her. Will’s voice called out, “I’ll be right with you.” He appeared almost at once.
“Sue. What brings you here?” Will’s voice was cheerful until he got near enough to see her tear-streaked face. “Are you alright?” His obvious concern sent Sue into another crying streak. “Are you hurt?”
She shook her head. “I’m just really upset.”
Will wore a look of panic. “Stay right there. Don’t move.” He darted into an office toward the end of the hall. A whispered conversation issued from the room and then Will’s partner, Roxie, came out. Will hurriedly introduced the two and disappeared into his own office. The door closed behind him.
If Sue hadn’t been in such anguish she might have found the situation comical. Roxie’s face was sympathetic as she slipped an arm around Sue’s shoulders. “Men just don’t know what to do with a crying female!” She led Sue to a chair in her office and closed the door behind them. “Poor Will. I think you scared him.”
Sue sniffed and tried on a weak smile as she glanced around the cozy room. A healthy potted plant soaked up weak sunlight from the ledge of a bay window that looked out over a snow-covered yard. Roxie swept around her desk, grabbed a tissue box from an end table next to an old-fashioned settee, and placed it into Sue’s hand. She moved her small trash can nearer to Sue, pulled the other chair up next to the young woman, and patted her back comfortingly. “Want to tell me what happened?”
Sue got a handle on her crying and wiped her cheeks and nose. Turning sideways, she looked at Roxie and saw compassionate green eyes gazing back at her. She dug the papers from her purse and handed them over. While Roxie read, Sue haltingly told her about searching the news reports on the internet, her trip to the police station, and her subsequent pursuit of the maroon van.
Roxie cupped her chin in one hand and chewed thoughtfully on her lip. “What were you planning to do if it had been Zeke?” She handed the print-outs back to Sue.
“I don’t know,” Sue said miserably. “I asked myself that same question. I feel so helpless, so foolish.” She slipped the articles back into her purse.
“That’s because you’re unprepared for a confrontation. Not that anyone can really be ready for something like that, but...” Roxie paused and rose suddenly, her emerald dress jacket swishing as she stood. She crossed her arms, and leaned comfortably against her desk. “I know something that’s helped me.” She pulled out a phone book and started flipping through the pages. “Have you ever considered taking self-defense classes? Learning how to protect yourself?”
Sue shook her head but her eyes now held a spark of interest.
“I highly recommend it. In my line of work, I need to feel capable of handling intense situations if they arise. I think you could benefit from a course like that also. Wouldn’t you feel safer if you knew how to respond in a crisis?”
“I guess I hadn’t thought about it.” Sue stared at Roxie as if the woman were handing her a lifeline. “I’ve always just kind of rolled along, taking whatever life handed me. But I like the idea of learning to fight back.”
“Good. I like the idea too.” Roxie sat in her desk chair and wrote something on a post-it note. “Okay. Here’s the phone number for the center where I take my self-defense course. Call them and set up an appointment. I’d go with you, but we wouldn’t be in the same class. Now, let’s talk about this search you’re doing. I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
Sue looked down. “It’s just something I have to do. I’m tired of being afraid.”
“Afraid he’ll come after you?”
“Yes. Plus, I’m afraid he’ll hurt someone else.”
“And that’s all? You want him found so he can be brought to justice?”
Sue let her eyes slide away as she answered. “Of course.”
Roxie gave her a shrewd look but only said, “Well, that’s understandable. But I think you should leave the search for Zeke to the authorities.” Sue started to protest and Roxie held up a hand. “Think about it Sue. I know you’re upset right now, but if you did find him, what would you do?”
Sue heaved a sigh. “I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far ahead. But maybe you’re right; maybe I should let it go.” Changing the subject, Sue asked, “Is Melvin here?”
Roxie looked surprised. “No, he has classes most of the day. Why?”
“I just wanted to see if I could convince him to start taking me around again. I’m not ready to go around alone. Today proved that.”
Roxie crossed her arms. “Will didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Sue clutched her purse, certain she was going to receive bad news.
“Melvin already agreed to escort you once more. All you have to do is call us when you need to go somewhere and if it fits in with his class schedule, he’ll be there.”
“Thank you, I feel a lot better now.” Sue stood.
Roxie walked her out, telling her a little something about the self-defense instructor. Sue absorbed all this information and added an idea of her own. She needed a firearm, and the training to use it.
Chapter 10
The following week Melvin showed up at her door and acted as if nothing unpleasant had ever happened between them. His usual cheerful disposition was back and it immediately got on Sue’s nerves, but she held back the retorts.
In one gloved hand, he held an insulated mug that proudly proclaimed: My job is so top secret, even I don’t know what I’m doing.
“Cute.” Sue gestured toward the cup. “Where’d you get that?”
“Baxter got it for me. Friend of mine. Baxter’s actually his last name.”
She pulled on her coat and they walked outside. “Let’s take your car. It’s already warmed up.”
“Okay.” They trudged through the snow and Melvin opened the door for her before tromping around the front to slide into the driver’s side. He situated his drink in the cup holder and started the engine. “Us Against the World” by Coldplay blasted from the stereo. Melvin reached out and turned it off.
“What’s his first name?”
“Who?”
“Baxter!” With barely contained annoyance, she jabbed her thumb toward the cup.
“Oh, him.” Melvin kept a straight face. “His first name’s also Baxter.”
Sue’s brows drew together. He’d almost made her smile, and she didn’t appreciate it. “Baxter Baxter? You’re lying.”
“That’s true; I am.” Melvin grinned, then noticed the look on her face and let the smile fade. “His first name’s Perry, but everyone just calls him Baxter.”
Sue lifted her shoulders in an indifferent shrug. Melvin didn’t take the hint. “I wasn’t the most popular kid in school, but I had a couple of good friends. Besides Baxter, there was Steve Hall. Steve works at the paper mill; his dad’s a foreman. Baxter’s in the Coast Guard now. Last I heard, he was in Alaska. I don’t know when I’ll see him again.” He took a quick sip of his drink and slowed to allow a woman to cross the street. Her arms were loaded with packages. Once she’d cleared the curb, Melvin accelerated slowly. “These days, I don’t have much time for hanging out with friends anyway. What about you? Tell me about your friends.”
“Well, that’s none of your business, now is it?” Sue looked out the window and then turned back and smiled to take the sting out of her words. “Besides, you’re the detective; you should already know all that.”
“Detective, not psychic,” Melvin remarked dryly. He signaled to turn and then returned to the subject of his friends. “We used to have so much fun. In the summertime we’d camp out, go fishing, explore Kettle Creek. A day like this, we’d be freezing our butts off, racing down Maple Hill on our sleds.”
“I used to do that,” Sue said softly. “With some of the neighborhood kids. I’d forgotten.”
“It’s a blast, isn’t it? We ought to go sometime, Sue.”
She shook herself loose from the memory. “I’m too old for that kind of stuff now.”
He pulled into the parking lot, turned off the engine, and looked over at her. “You’re kidding, right? I’m older than you and I still enjoy it.”
“Whatever.” Sue got out of the car and walked quickly toward the building.
Melvin had to hurry to catch up.
Once settled in Dr. Camden’s office, Sue discussed her animosity toward Melvin.
“He’s not Zeke,” she said. “I shouldn’t take out my anger on him. I don’t even know why I feel like snapping at him all the time.”
“At the heart of anger is fear,” Dr. Camden said. “What is it you fear from Melvin?”
“Fear?” Sue scoffed. “I don’t fear anything from him. Believe me, he’s nothing to be afraid of. I just don’t want him to get the wrong idea about me.”
“What idea is that?”
“You know. That I’m a certain kind of woman. I don’t want him thinking I’ll fall into bed with him just because of what I’ve been through. I don’t want him thinking he can try something with me. I guess I’m afraid he thinks I’m easy.”
“Afraid? Like in fear?” Dr. Camden’s smile was gentle.
Sue blushed. “You tricked that out of me. Okay, so I’m afraid of what he thinks.”
“Not only that,” Dr. Camden explained. “But, you are also overcompensating. You are not only making sure he won’t get the wrong idea, you are making damned sure he won’t.”
Sue’s head shot up. Did she just hear her therapist swear? Sue was liking this woman more with every appointment. She wasn’t stuffy and unreachable. “So, why would I do that?”
“Why do you think you’re doing it?”
“If I knew that, I wouldn’t be here asking you,” Sue quipped, then turned serious. “I don’t know why. I just don’t know how to act around him.”
“Is it just Melvin, or all men?”
“Well, I haven’t really been around that many guys since I’ve been home; but I don’t like it when men look at me.”
“Who’s been looking at you?”
“I don’t know; people in stores, in the mall, that kind of thing.”
“Well, I’ll tell you what I think. Your boundaries were blurred from your time with Zeke, the things that happened. So now you overshoot. You’ll get things back in balance.”
“I’m not sure that explains why I get so annoyed with Melvin.”
“Sounds to me like you’re testing your limits, seeing how far you can push him. Can you think of any reason why you might go out of your way to provoke him?”
“No.” Sue looked away, throat suddenly tight. Maybe I want to know if he has a short fuse, if he might hit me or something.
“One thing is clear. Whether you realize it or not, his opinion is important to you.”
“Hardly,” Sue countered. “Other than making sure he doesn’t get out of line, why would I care about his opinion?”
The doctor gave her a level look. “Because you like him.”
“What?” Sue jumped to her feet. “I don’t!”
“Yes, you do.”
Sue sank slowly into the seat again as shifting emotions played over her face. “He’s not my type,” she finally said. “Not even close.”
“You have a particular type of person you will accept as a friend?”
“You know what I mean. I didn’t think we were talking friendship here.”
“Why not? Isn’t friendship the best basis upon which to build any relationship?” Dr. Camden studied her before making a note on her pad.
“I’ll have to give some thought to all this.” Sue picked at her fingernail.
“Fair enough,” Dr. Camden said. “Did you bring your journal?”
Sue gave the doctor an apologetic smile. “No. I don’t have much in it yet.”
“Okay. But Sue, I really believe writing about your experience could be therapeutic. I’m hopeful you will bring it with you to your next appointment. I expect you to take an active role in your recovery; be involved in the process. This is something we’re doing as a team. Do you think you can do this?”
“It’s hard, but I’ll try.” Sue spoke hesitantly.
“Sue, this is for your benefit. I expect to see the journal at your next appointment.” The doctor’s tone was firm. “Now, tell me how you’re doing today.”
Sue filled the rest of her appointment time with her plans for taking self-defense courses. The doctor encouraged this pursuit and suggested some books she could read for emotional empowerment as well. “Don’t neglect your psyche,” she advised. “It’s all part of the equation.”
By the time Sue met Melvin in the waiting room she was excited to start on her plans to rebuild her life. To remake herself. To become strong.
On the ride home, she found herself chatting and was surprised to discover Melvin was actually pretty easy to talk to.
As they moved down
Main Street, Sue spotted the coffee shop where she used to meet Joyce. Clearing her voice she asked, “Would you like to get something to drink?” Glancing sideways at Sue, Melvin stuttered, “Uh, um, sure. That sounds like a good idea.” A car pulled out of a parking spot and Melvin snagged it. They walked in silence to the shop.
“What do you want?” Melvin asked. “My treat.” When Sue started to protest, Melvin held up a hand. “If we ever come again, you can buy.” He blushed as a certain awkwardness crept over the situation.
“That’s okay. I’d rather pay for my own,” Sue said quietly in a tone she hoped wouldn’t hurt his feelings; she didn’t want him thinking this was a date or anything.
She caught a trace of mocha in the air and almost gagged reflexively. Her hand went to her mouth. With difficulty, she fought the urge, swallowed hard, and the feeling slowly passed. No one seemed to notice her small private struggle.
Once at their table, Melvin added three heaping teaspoons of sugar to his coffee and Sue sipped her soda as the two searched for something to talk about. She finally decided to bring up the self-defense courses she was scheduled to start tomorrow.
“Self defense? That’s really cool.”
“Yeah, well, it was actually Roxie’s idea. She’s a nice lady.”
Smiling broadly, Melvin agreed. “She is that. She and Will are like family to me. They’ve pretty much taken me under their wings; they give me research jobs and they let me work around my college schedule.”
“What are you studying?”
“Criminal Justice to start with. I’m not sure about later.”
“Wow, really. That’s interesting.”
Conversation stalled for a minute before Melvin broke the silence. “You know, you could add firearms training along with your self-defense classes.”
“Firearms training?” Sue pretended to mull over the idea as if it hadn’t occurred to her already. “I think maybe that’s a good idea. Can a person carry a weapon in Maine?”
