Life's a drag, and nobody knows that better than Bert. Bert wants to write. Healso wants to kill himself. He has composed a brilliant suicide note, but so farhis attempt at a brilliant suicide is as devoid of success as his writing career.Not wanting to die wondering if his mother will fully comprehend hisnote, Bert sets out to explain himself – in a footnote. A footnote that keepsgrowing and growing like a monster wave.Bert carries on living, for now, recounting his string of doomed relationships,and bemoaning his dead-end job in a printing shop, and the fact thathe's 34 and still living with his mother.But into the shop walks the mysterious Lelani Balt – Lightning Bolt – andsparks begin to fly. Bert might finally have something to write about.