Take Me Away, page 9
She turned to leave but I wasn’t ready to let her go yet. “Wait?”
“What?”
I scrambled to think of something that would keep her here. “You should be careful. I hear snow is on the way.”
“Seriously? This early?”
“Supposed to be a bad storm. You shouldn’t be going out, your car doesn’t have snow tires.”
“Would you stop spying on me?”
“How is it spying on you to say you don’t have snow tires? It’s obvious.”
“Whatever, leave me alone. Go back to my house.”
She slammed the door behind her. I rocked back on my heels and looked to the heavens for some kind of guidance but all I saw were the dark clouds gathering in the west.
Chapter Twenty
Aria
I shut the door behind me and stifled an infuriated scream.
What the hell was he up to? Spying? Hacking? Secret early morning pickups by men in black Beemers?
The black-hat antics were one thing. But his nonchalant attitude made me want to claw his eyes out. “I should call the cops,” I said out loud to the empty house. “He’s up to something and it isn’t good.”
The sting of his betrayal, of his outright manipulation, was still ricocheting through my body a week later.
I hated that he knew.
Not about the bruises or the fact they weren’t the first ones I’d tried to keep hidden.
I hated that he knew I hadn’t been enough.
That my adoration, devotion and tolerance for pain still wasn’t enough to keep my man faithful.
It was humiliating. And it was even more humiliating when I remembered how I’d thrown myself at Derek at the falls.
He’d pulled back, claiming it was because he’d wronged me.
But what if he’d realized I wasn’t worth it?
What did that say about me?
Was I that impossible to love?
I’d thought I was loved, once. I thought the screaming fights proved our passion. I thought the force of Killian’s anger proved the force of his love.
And withstanding his anger proved the force of mine.
To find out that I was wrong… that his anger proved nothing… that his violence came from disdain, not adoration… that I’d endured it for nothing.
That broke me.
But when I found out that Derek knew before me… Derek, who I’d believed when he said I was safe with him…
I wasn’t broken. I was enraged.
I wanted him gone.
I’d called a lawyer, searching for loophole in my Grandpa’s will that would allow me to throw him out of the carriage house. But the law was not on my side.
But if he was doing something illegal…
Then it would be.
I realized I was chewing on my nails, pulled my hand away, then remembered I didn’t have to hide my bad habits any more and chomped down in earnest.
If I could find out what Derek was really up to - why he was really hiding up here - and expose his crimes, then I could be rid of him once and for all.
Was that what I wanted?
Part of me was so angry that I relished the thought of him being led away in handcuffs.
But the other part - the part that still felt foreign to me - wondered just how happy I could be without him.
Hours later, I still hadn’t come to a decision.
I was saved from pacing a hole in the carpet by the buzzing of my text message alert.
Thanks to Derek, I no longer feared what I would see on the screen. I rushed over to it eagerly.
Xavier: What the hell kind of question is that?
I grinned. This morning I’d left him a voicemail letting him know I was in town and did he want to get together? I figured he’d make me stew a few days, that he’d have too much going on in his busy life to be interrupted by his terrible friend.
Me: Does that mean you want to see me?
Xavier: You say you’re in town? Then I should be looking at you right now
Maybe he didn’t have too much going on. Or think I was a terrible friend.
I glanced out the window again, searching the carriage house for any clue about Derek’s crimes.
I was going crazy. I needed to get out of here.
Me: Whenever is good
Xavier: Now is good
A delighted squeal squeaked past my lips.
Me: Really?
Xavier: I’m buried under contractors and I can’t get away. But if you get your ass over here right now, I promise to feed you.
Me: Brunch?
Xavier: Is there any other meal?
Me: Should I bring something?
Xavier: Charlie Hunnam and a bottle of baby oil, but if you can’t get your hands on that quick enough, that your own fine self is perfect. Hurry up, Kitten
I grabbed my bag and rushed out the door.
Xavier Tully was flamboyant, sarcastic and my saving grace growing up. We bonded over a shared love of all things dramatic, spending hours telling each other all of the great things we were going to do once we broke free of this “hellhole.” We’d spend hours together, hashing out our detailed plans for fame and fortune.
“For sure you’ll be famous,” he’d say as he used eyelash glue to carefully attach a line of sequins under my brow bone. “I mean, how could you not be?”
“I know, right?” I’d preen. Then we’d use black Sharpies to color in our fingernails and listen to our favorite songs on repeat until his mom showed up in the station wagon to take him home. He’d call me as soon as he walked in the door, and we’d stay connected that way until one or both of us fell asleep.
He’d been the most important person in my life. And then we went to that concert and I met Killian and I never saw him again.
Would he even recognize me? Would I recognize him?
As I sat behind the wheel of my crappy little hatchback, I nearly let those worries drive me back into the house. The old Abbott place was on the eastern ridge, after all. Violet’s accident had happened on the highway two miles south of there. My parents never drove the eastern ridge roads for that reason, so I never had either. Plus the sky was getting grayer and grayer. Fat clouds sat on the horizon, heavy with the promise of snow.
Maybe it would be better if I didn’t go.
Before that thought could grip me tighter, I turned the key. I couldn’t let fear take hold. I had to keep moving. First, I had to ease down the driveway. Then I just had to keep going.
I glanced mournfully back up the drive to the carriage house. Then swore at myself.
I wasn’t scared. I could do this.
I didn’t need Derek.
Right?
As quickly as I thought that, I remembered that the only reason I’d contacted Xavier was because Derek made it possible for me.
How did he make me feel so safe and yet horribly vulnerable all at the same time?
He’d sent that email. I still hated him for it. But if he hadn’t where would I be now?
Not driving myself along the twisting highways to visit my best friend. Not writing music on my grandfather’s piano. Not waking with the sun, wearing my hair the way I liked or biting my nails without worrying about getting yelled at.
No, I’d be with Killian, trying to convince myself that today would be different. And then, when it inevitably wasn’t, I’d lie awake next to him and try to convince myself that I was leaving tomorrow.
If Derek hadn’t sent that email, nothing would have changed.
I would have never broken free.
I stopped at a red light and glanced in the rear-view mirror. My eyes were shining, bright with fear and excitement. My cheeks were flushed, in anger but also with daring.
I barely recognized myself, but I looked an awful lot like the girl I remembered. The girl I was trying to be again.
When I pulled up in front of the Abbott House, the front door swung open immediately.
I stepped out of the car and met the eyes of my best friend.
“Hi,” I said shyly. “Remember me?”
Chapter Twenty-One
Aria
I sopped up the last bite of crepe, swirling it in the strawberry syrup before popping it in my mouth. “Wow,” I mumbled through a mouthful of food, “you really can cook.”
Xavier leaned back in his chair. “You think?” he asked anxiously. “We’re putting them on the menu.”
I scraped my fork across my plate. “Absolutely.” I decided to dispense with decorum and lifted the plate to my lips, then scraped the last bits directly into my open mouth.
Xavier laughed. “Well, if the biggest deal to come out of this town likes my cooking, then I’m happy.”
I grimaced and reached for my water glass. “I’m still getting used to the fact that people here knew where I was.”
Xavier arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow. “I mean, I kept your secret for you, Kitten, Scout’s honor. But honey, you weren’t exactly hiding there up on stage. All those interviews and magazine covers, and those guest vocals you did for that rock band… what was their name? Toothless? Anyway, I even started a little scrapbook until I realized that was just too precious for words.”
I laughed and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “I’m glad I’m back.”
“Me too, Kitten. We have a lot of catching up to do. But first, tell me the truth. You really like my crepes?”
“I had no idea you could cook like this. You held out on me back in the day.”
“It’s all Stevie,” Xavier sighed. “The man brings out my domestic side, what can I say?” He shifted in his chair. “So I feel like a giant tool asking this but, will you write an endorsement for our website?”
“For you? Absolutely.” I leaned back and struck a pose. “Here’s your quote. ‘The biggest deal to come out of Reckless Falls since Jane Doe is definitely Xavier Tully’s crepes.’”
He laughed. “Love it. But you’ve got me thinking I need to beg for another quote, too. You’ve got competition for the biggest deal to come out of Reckless Falls, you know.”
I pulled my face into a mock frown. “Who dares usurp my throne?” I loved this. People I knew. People that knew me. I felt myself sliding into small town life and gossip.
He narrowed his eyes conspiratorially. “Harper McCabe just won some fancy children’s book award.”
“That’s cool.”
“She’s been flying all over the place. I wonder if she’s going to make it to her family’s Christmas party.” He clapped his hand to his mouth. “Wait. Tell me you’re going.”
“What Christmas party? What?”
Xavier waved his hands. “Right, you left before they could legally invite you.”
“You’re saying it’s a booze-fest?”
He nodded solemnly. “The booziest.”
I bit my lip and wondered why I was suddenly thinking of Derek. “Why would I want to come?”
“Kitten, it’s the social event of the year.”
“Is it now? A family Christmas party?”
“No, no. You got it all wrong. I mean, yes, it’s a family party. But practically the whole town shows up now they’ve got that big place up on the hill. And it’s always, always, a giant scandal.”
“What? What kinds of scandal are we talking here?”
He mimed zipping his lips. “I’ll never tell. But, rest assured, I promise you scandal and scandal I shall deliver if you come. I don’t even understand how it happens either, since Mrs. McCabe is the sweetest thing since June Cleaver. I think she might be blind.” He nodded. “Yup. Has to be, since she doesn’t seem to notice how both Callum Reese and Grayson Abbott are in love with her daughter.”
“What?” He was right. I was scandalized. “Are they still friends with Everett?”
“Total BFFs.”
“So how does that work?”
“Just like you’d expect with Everett. He pretends not to notice.”
I laughed.
“I don’t think he wants to think too hard about how his best friends want his baby sister.” Xavier wrinkled his nose. “Plus he’s in love with Callum’s sister so he really can’t say much, maybe? I don’t know. I’m not up on the gossip.”
“You seem pretty up on it to me!”
He looked pleased. “Okay well maybe a little. Did you hear about Autumn Melton and Cole Granger getting back together?”
At the mention of Derek’s brother, I jumped a little. But my best friend had already launched into an emphatic monologue about that particular piece of gossip and didn’t seem to notice. I leaned back and smiled as I listened, patting my happily full tummy.
All around us was the sound of renovation. The transformation of the Abbott house into a fancy bed and breakfast was well underway. I heard voices in the hallway as Xavier’s husband Steve talked with a contractor about something. I still hadn’t met the guy, he’d been held up with remodeling stuff for nearly the whole of my visit, but from the glow in Xavier’s eyes, I could tell he was half-mad with love. I couldn’t be happier for the man who’d been the most important person to me growing up.
“So by spring Cole says he’s supposed to have the first stage done,” Xavier was saying. “I’ve seen the plans, it’s going to be a great little park. Something for the whole town.” He rubbed his hands together. “It’s going to be good for business. Or at least I hope.”
“Things are going really well, Xavier,” I told him. “Your plans are coming together.”
He raised the other eyebrow. “What about your plans, Kitten?”
I sighed. “Stop reading my mind. You know I’m never good at seeing out further than my own nose.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Why am I not believing you?”
“What?”
“You’ve got something up your sleeve!’
I sat up straighter. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“I tell him that all the time.” A tall, rail-thin, quirkily handsome man strode into the kitchen as he said this.
When he saw him, Xavier’s eyes lit up. “Baby, you take forever,” he pouted.
Steve glanced a kiss across Xavier’s forehead. “I’m a perfectionist.”
“Don’t I know it,” Xavier grumped happily. Then he looked at me. “Stevie G., this is Aria Jane. My Kitten. ”
“Of course I know who you are!” Steve effused. “You are an icon.”
“Thanks,” I said shyly. I ignored the praise, since I was feeling decidedly non-iconic at the moment, and focused instead on the softening at the edges of Xavier’s eyes.
The way he looked at Steve made something twist around in my stomach. I knew what that look was.
A week ago, with the rush of the falls in my ears, I saw that same look on Derek’s face.
“Are we all set for the windows?” Xavier asked Steve.
“Honey, why are you pretending to care about the windows?” Steve teased.
“Because you care about the windows.”
“Someone needs to.”
I grinned as they went round and round, lightly teasing each other. Killian had never teased me. He’d criticize me, then back off when I got angry, claiming to be joking. “Stop being so sensitive,” he’d say, throwing up his hands. “It was just a joke.”
“Kitten?” Xavier said, breaking into my thoughts. I realized he must have been asking me something. “You lost in thought over there?”
“You know I don’t think,” I said lightly.
“Well, I still maintain you’re hiding things from me. Spill it. What’s your next move?”
I tapped my fingers on the tabletop in the shape of a tune I’d been working out on the piano in my grandfather’s atrium. “A solo album,” I declared. It was the first time I was saying those words out loud and I sat up straighter just in the telling. “I’ve been wanting to get these songs out for ten years. Now is the perfect time.”
Xavier pressed his hand to his heart. “I want details. Demos. I want to sing backup, no, shit, I want to play an instrument!” He waved his hands excitedly. “I don’t care how you use me, just promise you will, please Kitten? Remember how we were going to be in a band together back in high school?”
I nodded, trying not to tear up. “We were. And there’s still time. I’m not going anywhere.”
He took a deep breath and nodded. “I’m so glad you’re staying.” Then he glanced over my shoulder. “But, um, maybe you shouldn’t stay here, huh?”
I twisted around to the window behind me and gasped out loud. Outside of it was a wall of white.
“Shit,” I exhaled. “That was fast.”
Xavier nodded. “If you’re planning on heading out, now is probably the time to do it.”
“Are you kicking me out?”
“I’m not kicking. Just gently, but firmly nudging you to the door. We’re installing the cabinets today and it’s going to get messy in here. No place for a fabulous creature such as yourself. Plus I don’t want you to leave too late and end up in some ditch out there.” He suddenly clapped his hands in glee. “Oh my God, I cannot believe it is snowing this early in the season! We need to hurry up and open so we can catch the skiers!” He pressed his fingertips to his lips and looked at Steve wide-eyed.
“That’s a great idea, babe,” Steve said, giving him an affectionate squeeze on the butt. “I’ll get to work.”
Xavier leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “I’ll see you soon about the solo album, Kitten, right? And text me when you get back to your Grandpa’s. I’ll be worried sick until you do, okay?”
I grinned. “I’ll be fine. I’m a native, remember? I know how to drive in a little snow. It’s the old men who have the heart attacks trying to shovel that have to be careful.”
As soon as I said it, my heart jumped in my throat. “Have you seen my parents lately?”
“Not in a while.”
I tapped my fingernail on my teeth. “Dad always refused to buy a snowblower. Hopefully he has a plow service. He has too, right?”
“Of course.” Xavier kissed my cheek. “I’ll see you soon, right?”
