Unbearable undescribable, p.1

Unbearable (Undescribable), page 1


Unbearable (Undescribable)

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Unbearable (Undescribable)




  Copyright © 2013 by Shantel Tessier

  All rights reserved.

  Editing by Jennifer Roberts-Hall

  Cover design by Sarah Hansen of Okaycreations

  Formatted by Biblio/Tech

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission of the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.


  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One



  About the Author

  I want to dedicate this book to all of my friends and family. Thank you for all of your support and love.



  Not able to be endured or tolerated


  I lie awake looking at the only colorless surface in this room: the ceiling. I have an arm wrapped around Angel, and my other arm is resting against the pillow above my head. I can’t seem to stay asleep, and it’s not from lack of being tired. I’m fucking exhausted. As soon as I close my eyes, she moves or makes some little noise that makes me think she is going to wake up. She’s restless, and it’s driving me crazy. I know she is having a hard time with everything that has happened since her mother called. All I can do is hold her tight and let her feel me, so she knows I’m here for her.

  I’ve stayed as still as I possibly can. My arm actually went numb hours ago, but I don’t dare move it, in fear of waking her. The lack of feeling in my arm is nothing compared to what I feel when I see tears run down her face. They fucking kill me, knowing I can’t do anything to stop them. Her mother is gone and left behind a ton of unanswered questions. Nothing I can say or do will help her with that.

  After she told me she loved me, I held her in my arms until she fell asleep. She once again cried into my chest, and there was a point when I could no longer tell if the tears were from the loss of her mother or the fact that she finally told me how she felt. I couldn’t even keep count of how many times I told her I loved her. It was all I could say, but it didn’t matter, not even those words had calmed her.

  My entire body stiffens as I hear my phone ringing again. That’s about the tenth time since she’s fallen asleep. Thank God the sound is muffled from being inside the pocket of my jeans, lying on the floor. She has slept through all of them because I haven’t felt like getting up and letting go of her. Whoever it is, I will call them later.

  I can’t decide if this breakthrough she had was good or bad. I mean, I’ve known for a while that she loves me, and that she was just scared to admit it. Now there’s not a doubt in my mind, but I wonder if she only told me because her mom passed? She lost someone she loved. I hope she didn’t feel pressured to say she loved me. I hope that she wasn’t thinking I was going to leave her as well. I was telling her the truth when I said I would have waited a lifetime to hear those words from her. Not one person or thing could take me away from her.

  I hear the front door open and close, followed by a car start up. Courtney must have decided to go on home. I never did go back downstairs after I brought Angel her soup. Soup that she didn’t even touch.

  I bring my arm from above my head and wrap it around her small body, pulling her tighter to me. Closing my eyes, I try to think about getting some sleep. I’m going to need the rest. I have a feeling today will be a long day for Angel, making arrangements for her mom’s funeral. I move ever so slightly, turning onto my side and taking in a deep breath. I snuggle into her, holding her close against me, the scent of strawberries filling my nose.

  I hear a few hushed voices coming from downstairs as I open my eyes. It’s still dark in the bedroom, but through her window, I can see that the sun is starting to shine. I look down and Angel is still sleeping. Trying my luck, I pull out from under her as slowly as possible, stand, and grab my clothes.

  Once dressed, I pull my phone out of my pocket and notice there are fifteen missed calls and over twenty texts. Who the fuck could have called me that much? I scroll through and notice it was mainly my mom and Holly, a few from my brother and Josh. Opening a couple of messages, I see they all contain their worries about Angel. I haven’t called a single person since Josh informed me that her mother had passed, and that Angel was here in Tulsa. I also forgot that she busted her phone, which must be the reason everyone is blowing up mine. I need to add that to my to-do list for today.

  I leave the room quietly so I don’t wake her and walk down the hallway to the stairs. As I get to the main floor, I hear a familiar voice. I shake my head. There is no way that my mother is here.

  I take off towards the kitchen and come to a halt.

  “What are all of you guys doing here?” I say, eyes darting from my dad to Micah, then to Holly and my mother.

  “We came for Sam.”

  I turn to look at the table. I didn’t even notice Josh sitting there with Courtney on his lap.

  “Good morning, hun,” my mother greets, ignoring my shock.

  She walks around the kitchen and gives me a hug. “Is Samantha sleeping?” she asks as she pulls away.

  I nod my head. “How did you guys get here?” I wonder aloud, still astonished that they are all standing in Marie’s kitchen.

  “Well, we have been calling and texting you.” My mom places a hand on her hip. “But you have been ignoring us.”

  “I wasn’t ignoring you.” I run a hand over my hair. “I was trying—”

  “It’s okay, we understand,” Holly tells me sadly. “We were able to get a hold of Courtney and she came to the airport to pick us up.”

  “How long are you guys staying?” My days have been all bunched together and it takes me a few seconds to figure out it is Wednesday.

  “We are staying until Saturday,” my dad answers as he takes a sip of his coffee. “We have a late flight out that night.”

  “Saturday? How are you guys missing that much work?”

  My father shrugs. “We wanted to be here for Samantha. I have someone covering the office. Work will be there for us when we return.”

  I stand there watching him in a daze. My dad never misses work. I don’t think the man has ever even taken a sick day. “Well thank you, I know she will appreciate it.”

  “Do you know her plans for her mother?” my mom asks as she goes back to frying some bacon.

  I wa
lk over to the table and sit across from Josh and Courtney. “No, she hasn’t told me anything yet. I still don’t know how she even found out.” I rub a hand over my stubble. The past twenty-four hours have been crazy. I haven’t even had a chance to shave.

  “Well, someone must have called her. You could check her phone,” Micah suggests as he eats chocolate chip cookies out of a polka dotted cookie jar.

  “No, I can’t. She broke her phone when she threw it.”

  “Poor Samantha,” my mom says, laying down a plate of bacon in front of me.

  Josh and I both grab a piece and we start stuffing our mouths. “Yeah, I should probably go wake her. See if she’s hungry. She didn’t eat dinner last night.”

  I shove another piece of bacon in my mouth as I get up from the table. I walk up the stairs and enter her bedroom. Ambling over to the bed, I pull the covers back and lie down next to her.

  “Angel.” I rub her bare shoulder with my hand.

  She shifts her body a little bit, trying to wake up. “Angel,” I whisper next to her ear.


  “Are you hungry, baby?” I ask, bending down to kiss her shoulder.

  “No,” she mumbles.

  “You need to eat something,” I encourage.

  She rolls over to face me but leaves her eyes closed. She drapes her arm over my side and her eyes spring open, giving me a breathtaking view of their bright green intensity.

  “Why are you dressed?” She frowns.

  I push some brown strands of hair off her face. “Because it’s daytime.”

  “Get up, get undressed and then lie back down with me.” She smiles.

  I’m having trouble gauging her mood. She seems generally happy and I hate to admit that it confuses me. That was the last thing I expected her to feel after the way she slept. Is this because of the step we took last night or because reality of her mother hasn’t hit yet? Less than 24 hours ago, she had a breakdown in my arms. So why does she seem so happy?

  I lift my hand and run my fingers through her soft hair, it’s still damp from the bath I gave her before bed. “Are you okay?”

  Her smile drops off her face. “Yes,” she answers quietly.

  “Angel, you can talk to me.” I brush my hand over her cheek.

  She shakes her head. “I’m okay, Slade,” she says firmly as her green eyes stare into mine. “I promise. I just want to lie in bed with you all day. Just you and me. Alone. Naked.” She bites her bottom lip seductively as her hand makes its way down the covers. I hiss in a long breath as she presses her palm against my zipper. I feel my dick getting hard but I fight to ignore it.

  “Angel, I don’t think—”

  “Please Slade,” she urges.

  I search her features for a few seconds. The closer I look at her the more I think she is about to start crying. She’s trying to smile and look happy, but I know her too well. Her green eyes look shiny, and they have a lost look to them. Like maybe she’s grasping at straws to stay sane. I hear the soft sound of my zipper before I feel her hand seek out my hard cock.

  I lose all self-control at the feel of her soft hand wrapped around me. I pull away, leaning up, and take my shirt off. I lay back down beside her as I lift my hips, sliding my jeans and boxers down my legs.

  “See, isn’t this better?” She drags her hand up over my chest as I settle myself on top of her and look down.

  “This is perfect,” I whisper as I lean my head down to hers.

  She closes her eyes for a second and it brings me a moment of clarity. What the fuck am I doing on top of her naked? Didn’t I just tell myself this was not a good idea? While I’m trying to gauge her emotions, she slides her hand between us and grabs my cock roughly. I have to hold back another moan, fuck she drives me crazy. I just want to flip her over, putting her ass in the air, and grab a handful of her hair. I want to hear her gasps and whimpers. I want so badly to slip my fingers into her and see how wet she is for me. Just to see if she really wants to fuck.

  As I continue with my mental battle, she starts to rub my cock against her pussy. I can’t take it anymore. I reach down, taking her hands away, and then pin them both beside her head.

  I swallow as I feel a small line of sweat form on my forehead. Fuck, I love the way her body feels under me, especially when I know she is pinned down and at my mercy. “We really shouldn’t.” My voice is shaky.

  I’ve always known that Angel is strong, but she’s only that way because she thinks that’s how she needs to be. I feel like we are back to when we first met, and I wanted her to open up to me. I need her to be herself with me, to let her guard down. I don’t want her to think that I’m only with her for sex. Even though I enjoy showing her how much I love her physically, it’s not the only reason why I am with her. I’m going to stand by her side and hold her hand for as long as she needs me to.

  “Is this a test?” Her voice gets my attention and she lifts an eyebrow. “You want to see how well I can beg?”

  Fuck! Please don’t beg.

  She licks her lips and I tighten my hold on her wrists, trying to keep my control. “Please, Slade. I need you.”

  She has told me that before, but the only time I can remember right now is when she sat on the end of this bed with tears rolling down her face. That’s the only thing missing right now: tears. It’s like a nightmare that keeps playing through my mind on repeat.

  “Angel—” I’m about to tell her no, when she arches her back and leans her head back.

  “Slade,” she pleads, “I need you to fuck me.”

  I have always had one weakness, my dick! Then I met Angel. Put the two together and I’m just fucked! I’m a child who is being offered the sweetest candy in the world. How can I say no to that? I’ve never been good with temptation.

  I lean down and kiss her neck, eliciting a moan. I let go of her wrists and tangle my hands in her hair, tugging her neck back even further. I want to hear her scream like I know she can. She whimpers as I pull her head to the side and nibble my way up to her ear.

  “What do you want, Angel?” I rasp into her ear, making her shiver.

  “You. I want you inside of me.”

  My cock jerks and I can’t hold out any longer. I lean up on my elbow as I run one hand between us. I just slide a finger into her wet and waiting pussy when we get interrupted.


  Angel squeals as she crawls underneath my body and the sheets. I turn my head to look at Micah standing in her bedroom doorway with his hands covering his eyes.

  “What the fuck are you doing in here?” I laugh, because this is too funny, and not the first time for him to walk in on me with a woman. He’s lucky she is covered, because I have no problem punching him in the face.

  “Holly told me the bathroom was up here on the right,” he says as he turns his back to us.

  “It’s the last on the left,” Angel calls out from below me.

  “Uh, I’m so sorry,” Micah stutters as he shuts the door.

  I smile down at Angel under me hiding. “Why was Micah just standing in my bedroom doorway?”

  “Well.” I chuckle. “That was why I came up here to wake you in the first place. Everyone is here.”

  Her bright green eyes widen. “What do you mean everyone?” she asks slowly.

  “My family came to see you. They just informed me they are staying until Saturday.”

  “Slade,” she hisses, “why didn’t you tell me?” She scoots her way back up my body and pushes on my chest.

  I roll off her and onto my side, letting her get up.

  “I had no idea that they were coming. I went downstairs and they were in your mother’s kitchen.” I see the slight flinch of her body at the mention of her mother. “I’m sorry.” I jump up, pushing the covers off myself.

  “For what?” she asks, pulling on her jeans.

  I walk up behind her, wrapping my arms around her. I bend down so my lips are at her ear. “I shouldn’t have said that.”

It’s fine. I’m fine.” She shakes me off.

  I stand back from her, running a hand through my hair, confused. I don’t know how to take her right now. She was just begging me to fuck her, now she is pushing me away.

  Should she be lying on the floor crying, clinging to me for dear life? If I know my Angel, she is regretting the moment of weakness that she had exhibited. I want her to know that I love her, all of her. No matter how she feels or how much her mother’s death will change her, I’m not going to leave her.

  She throws on her shirt and opens the door, leaving the bedroom without even a backward glance.

  Great! I feel as if I’m in one of those situations where I would have lost either way. Sex or no sex, she would have been pissed at me. I release a sigh as I stand up and throw my clothes back on, trying to think of anything but her lying beneath me, so my dick will go down before following after her.

  I run down the stairs, heading toward the kitchen, trying to calm my body. My heart is still pounding from the heart attack I almost had when Micah walked in on us. And my body is screaming to go back upstairs and rip Slade’s clothes off and make him give me the release that I need. I don’t know why he was taking his sweet ass time to give me what I know we both wanted.

  I mentally give myself a little shake before I round the corner and smile. “This is a wonderful surprise,” I say, walking to the coffee pot. I don’t even make it to the counter when arms pull me into a hug.

  “I’m so sorry, Sam,” Holly whispers as she squeezes me a bit tighter.

  “It’s okay,” I assure her when she pulls away from me.

  “How are you feeling, honey?” Vivian asks as she walks over, also giving me a hug.

  “I’m fine.” I give her a small smile, wondering how many times I am going to have to repeat those words.

  After she releases me from a long hug, I finish my walk over to the coffee pot. I pour some into a mug and then face everyone. It is eerily quiet in this room that is holding eight people. I give a weak smile as I take a sip and everyone watches me as if I’m on display. It makes me nervous.

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