The Changeling, page 20
He chirruped in agreement, and I hoped I wasn’t right.
I flung back the covers. Molly! Finally, I could contact Molly! I no longer had a mobile phone—I must get a new one—but I did have a land line. I dialed her number before even using the bathroom.
“Moll!”
“Oh, hi mum.”
She sounded remarkably casual.
“Just ringing to let you know I’m back.” And that I’m now The High Queen of Ireland.
“That’s good. Did you have a nice time?”
“Um. Yes. I’m sorry I didn’t contact you for so long.”
“That’s alright. It’s only been three days and you called me right before you went on your retreat thingy.”
“Three days!”
“Er, yes.”
“What day is it?”
“Tuesday the 28th. Are you okay?”
My stunned silence was her only response.
“Mum?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just thought I was away for longer, that’s all.”
“It must have been very relaxing then.”
“Yes, that must be it. Three days felt like… almost two weeks…” I trailed off.
We chatted about inconsequential things for a while, then as soon as I hung up, I automatically looked around for my mobile phone to check the date. Drat! I kept forgetting. I must take Zoe for a spin to the village today and buy a new one. In the meantime, I switched on breakfast TV. Yep. Tuesday the 28th. Three days since we’d initially left. Hadn’t someone said something about The Great Highway existing out of time? But I was still The High Queen. Hmm. I wonder what the High Queen felt like eating for breakfast today. Would her majesty like porridge? Or muesli? Muesli was quicker. And would her majesty like soy milk on that or ordinary…
There was a knock on the front door. Who could that be? It was still early. Maybe the postman had an exciting package for me. I opened the door. Nobody there. I was about to close it again when I was startled by the sound of someone clearing their throat. I looked down to see an extraordinary-looking man standing on my doorstep. He came up to the top of my thigh.
“Oh. Hello.”
“Top of the morning to you, your majesty.”
“What did you say?”
“I said ‘top of the…”
“I heard what you said. No one talks like that anymore.”
“I know. But it’s what people expect when you’re a leprechaun.”
“You’re having me on. Leprechauns don’t exist.”
“I beg to differ.”
“But you don’t have a beard.”
“I find them too itchy.”
“And you’re not even wearing green.”
He had on a pint-sized leather jacket.
“See what I mean about meeting people’s expectations?”
“Oh. I guess so. What can I do for you?”
“I’ve come to propose.”
“Propose what? Oh, you mean…”
He suddenly went down on one knee and bent his head. “Your majesty.”
“What? No! I mean, thank you, but we’ve never even met before.”
“Our alliance could be a strong one.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I really don’t…”
“You’ll regret it if you say no. We leprechaun men know how to satisfy our women.”
I realized he was staring lasciviously at my crotch, with which he was at eye level.
“Oh my God, stop that! No! Go away. I’m trying to have my breakfast.”
I slammed the door in his face. Was this going to keep happening? Weird and unsuitable suitors showing up at my door willy nilly? I hoped not. I was going out before I had any more visitors.
It was good to drive Zoe again. I had longed for her many times on The Great Highway, and I certainly didn’t feel like walking to The Village today, what with all the blisters I still had on my feet, which helped prove to me that the walk had been closer to two weeks than three days. On the way, I drove past Peggy’s house. The greenish grey smoke puffing from the chimney showed me she was back home, too. Could that mean…?
When I got to The Village, I bypassed the phone shop and the bakery and went directly to the outer boundary wall where a certain someone lived in the converted watch tower. I rang the bell four times, each time my hope fading and my heart sinking lower. He wasn’t back. It was true: Finn had joined The Fianna. I walked the short distance to the bakery and entered to find Bridget, looking extra floury, standing behind the counter. She held her arms out to me.
“Rosaleen!”
We hugged.
“How are you?” she said.
“In urgent need of a coffee slice.”
“I hear you, girl. Sit yourself down over there and I’ll bring over the biggest, stickiest one I can find.”
I took a seat in a booth by the window, staring gloomily out at village life as it went by. It had started to drizzle, which only added to my despair, knowing that Finn didn’t live here anymore. The only reason to come to the village from now on was for Bridget’s cakes. She sat down opposite me with a coffee slice and a cup of tea.
“Tell me all about it.”
“You heard about Finn, I suppose?”
“We did. Brian’s lost without his homey. He’s taken to his bed. Next thing I know, he’ll be announcing he’s joining The Fianna too.”
“He’d never do that to you and the kids.”
“He’d better not or I’ll hunt him down myself. He’d have more than The Morrigan to worry about.”
I sipped my tea and smiled as I imagined the scenario.
“But,” Bridget gave me a sympathetic look, “how are you about it all?”
I shrugged. “Okay, I guess. I’m High Queen of Ireland now, you know.”
“You’re joking me? Really? You don’t look any different.”
I watched her scanning me up and down. I was wearing a sweatshirt and yoga pants and I’d barely brushed my hair.
“I know. I don’t feel any different either.”
“Do I have to curtsy every time I see you?”
“Yes.” I smiled at her.
“Feck off!” She smiled back.
“But seriously, do you have new powers?”
“I don’t know yet. It’s all very… vague…”
“Didn’t you ask Peggy?”
“I did. She was vague too.”
“Figures.”
I took a bite of the cake. “Hot damn, woman! What did you do with this cake?”
Bridget grinned. “I added an extra layer of jam.”
“It rocks.”
Just at that moment, Barra and Brendan walked in. Or rather, Barra walked in, dragging his brother along in a head lock. There was a bizarre millisecond when mine and Barra’s eyes met, and I got the strangest feeling of recognition. Then the moment was over, and he was back to pummeling his brother’s head. I didn’t say anything to his mother. I was probably just imagining things, still weary from my journey and overwhelmed by my recent adventures. But it did leave me with an ominous sensation.
I bought a new phone, picked up a few groceries, and headed back home. I was so happy I didn’t have to live on The Hill of Tara now, on account of being queen. But my satisfaction was to be short-lived. Because outside my house was an assorted group of males, all oddly dressed and of various shapes and sizes. I groaned. Oh God, not more suitors. Oreo sat on one pillar, hissing at them and refusing to let them past the gate. Ozzy stood on the other pillar, flapping his wings, and trying to look threatening. The assembled bunch rushed to my car as I got out. One of them held out a fancy-looking necklace.
“Sorry lads.” I shielded myself with my hand and avoided eye contact. “I’m too busy right now.”
I rushed by as if they were charity muggers on the high street and closed the front door gratefully between me and them. Then I got into bed and binge watched the first half of series three of The Great British Bake Off.
CHAPTER 43
It was three days later, and there was another knock on the door.
“Oh, for God’s sake, this is getting ridiculous.”
I flung the door open. “No, I will not marry you! Oh. Hello.”
It was Angus. He grinned at me.
“My dear Rosaleen, are you finding your new role as High Queen to be a tad stressful?”
“It would be fine if all these gobshites would stop bothering me. Come in—unless you’re planning to propose too.”
He strolled in through the open door, his hands behind his back, an amused look on his face. “It wasn’t on my agenda for today.”
“Good.”
He looked different, I decided. Was it his hair? He was growing it longer and it was slicked back behind his ears, emphasizing his incredible bone structure.
“Would you like a cup of tea?”
“I could kill for a goblet of mead.”
“I’ve only got tea.”
“Is it Lyons?”
“Yes.”
“Very well.”
Angus sat on the couch, or rather, he reclined, his lengthy arm stretched out along the back of it and his long legs crossed elegantly. I leaned against the kitchen counter while the kettle boiled, my arms folded across my chest.
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, your mother is a piece of work.”
“Don’t I know it.”
“Did you also know she tried to drown me and Peggy?”
“That’s strange, because the version I heard was that she saved your life.”
“Okay, fair enough, she did save my life, but only after trying to drown me first.”
I turned and dunked the tea bags angrily into the mugs.
“I believe you have lost some padding. Your posterior appears to be reduced in size.”
“Do you really think so? It must have been all that walking.” I spun around in delight. “Hey! Stop looking at me like that.”
“My apologies.”
I ran to the bathroom to check out my butt. He was right! I hadn’t realized as I rarely looked at myself from this angle. It seemed walking The Great Highway had been worth it after all, although there must be simpler weight loss plans available. I went back in to finish the tea, smiling at Angus for the first time since he’d arrived.
“I don’t know why you’re so happy. I like your padding.”
“Well, I don’t.”
I handed him his tea with some biscuits on a plate, knowing for a fact he wouldn’t eat them. I could have them after he left, now that I’d lost so much weight… I sat on the armchair opposite him.
“So.” He leaned forward. “How do you like being The High Queen of Ireland?”
I took a gulp of tea and sighed. “To be honest, Angus, it’s a bit of a letdown.”
“How so?”
“Well, nothing’s really changed. I still have to make my own lunch and clean my own toilet, and I didn’t even get to keep the crown. I mean, I keep expecting something to happen, to get some guidance or discover a new ability, but… nada. Nothing but a succession of idiots showing up at my front door.”
Angus continued to regard me with an entertained look on his face.
“You know,” I said, “you look different, too. And it’s not just your hair. You’re so much more…” I searched for the word, “relaxed.”
He grinned again and I knew that was just what it was. The lines on his forehead had vanished, his body language was less tense, and I realized for the first time that he didn’t have any guards with him.
“Are you annoyed with your mother for pretending she was dying for six months?”
He shrugged. “She’s done worse.”
I believed him.
“Don’t worry, Rosaleen O’Connor, for you will grow into your new role, I am sure of it.”
He got up to leave.
“Are you going already? You haven’t even finished your tea.”
“We will meet again presently; of that I have no doubt.” He executed a little bow.
Then he was gone.
Always leave them wanting more.
CHAPTER 44
He called again the next day.
And the next.
Just for tea.
On the third day, he even drank some of it, after which he strolled casually around the house, picking up trinkets and examining them.
“Where did you get this?”
He lifted a bowl and turned it around with his long, elegant fingers.
“Ikea.”
“Is that one of those new countries in Eastern Europe?”
“It is.”
“Hmm. I like it. And I like your house, Rosaleen O’Connor, even though I keep hitting my head on the door frame.”
I laughed. He did. On the same spot every time.
“Would you like to perambulate around the garden and beyond? For the day is clement and it might save me from further injury.”
“Why not.” I pulled my shawl around my shoulders because, although it was a nice day, I knew how the Atlantic wind would bite.
My hair whipped wildly about my head, obscuring my vision. I tried to contain it under my shawl, to no avail. Angus, in comparison, walked head high and upright as if the gale was nonexistent, not a hair out of place. He must have packed on a serious amount of hair gel… or… magic. Hold on. I was a witch. Maybe I could come up with a spell to tame my tresses…
“I hear Finn has gone away.”
I looked up at Angus’s profile. His tone was carefully casual, but the tension in his jawline didn’t go unnoticed by me.
“He didn’t go away, he just stayed where he was.”
“You mean he failed to come home?”
I shrugged, starting to feel irritated.
“And is it correct that he has joined The Fianna?”
“You seem to know an awful lot about him, Angus. I don’t know why you need to ask me questions.” I couldn’t keep the snap out of my voice.
Angus was looking at me now, his expression annoyingly smug.
“My dear Rosaleen, I’m merely concerned for you. You were accustomed to having him around all the time…”
“He wasn’t around all the time.”
“Performing services for you.”
I stopped walking and turned to face Angus, my arms crossed tightly, feeling really annoyed now.
“What are you insinuating?”
“I insinuate nothing. I would like to offer my own services in lieu of those of the werewolf.”
“So, what, you want to fix my cat flap now?”
“If that’s what the young people are calling it nowadays…”
I tugged my shawl tighter around my shoulders and stormed off angrily.
“Where are you going?” Angus called.
“Home.”
“Can I come?”
“No, you cannot.”
“Shall I call on you tomorrow?”
“No, I’ll be out.”
The nerve of him! It seemed Fae men were just as bad as their human counterparts.
I didn’t go straight home after all, feeling I had a lot of pent-up energy to get rid of. Instead, I decided to circumnavigate the sacred wood. I wouldn’t go into it, in case I bumped into Cernunnos and his great big hairy man crack. I just wasn’t in the mood. So, I walked, and I walked, and after a while, I came across the most extraordinary flowering shrub I’d ever seen. It looked completely incongruous, the only one of its kind, right at the edge of the trees and not all that far, I realized, from my cottage. The leaves were a delicate silvery-green and appeared to be forever in motion, but the flowers were what really caught the eye; jet black and trumpet shaped, heads bowed like bells, looking as if they belonged in a tropical rain forest instead of the Irish countryside. What were they? I found myself captivated by the smell, which was cloying yet somehow… addictive. There was something vaguely familiar about these flowers, like I’d seen them somewhere before, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it… put my finger on it… I really wanted to put my finger on it and touch one of the blooms. I was just on the verge of doing so when something spooked me and I leaped backwards as if I’d just got a jump scare in a movie, but there was nothing and nobody there. Turning, I ran back to the cottage, locking the door behind me. I was relieved to find Oreo in, kneading a cushion on the couch with his massive front paws. I sat down and gathered him onto my lap and cuddled him until I felt normal again.
CHAPTER 45
Angus chose not to go home directly, either. He was disappointed his visit with Rosaleen had been cut short. He had only been jesting with her, but it seemed the female of the human species was more sensitive than he’d understood. No matter. He would inveigle himself back into her good books again, for few could resist the charms of The Fae Prince.
He circumvented the sacred woods too, going in the opposite direction to Rosaleen, the longer route, hoping he’d bump into her again, accidentally on purpose. But he did not. Instead, he came across the most unusual looking plant. The flowers were like nothing he’d ever seen before and, as for the scent—so intoxicating. Without giving the matter a second thought, Angus bent his head low, lifted a bloom to his nose and sniffed long and hard. Oh yes! Magnifique! Chanel number five had nothing on this flower. And as he sniffed, the pollen went up his nose, entered his respiratory system and became part of him.
My sleep that night was disturbed by strange dreams. I seemed to be overtaken by a thousand flapping wings… I woke with a fright and sat upright. Oreo immediately began to purr loudly from his spot at the end of the bed.
“Was it you that woke me up?” I said to him. “You’re sounding like a pneumatic drill.”
I got up and made myself a mug of warm milk. I stood looking out of the window as I drank it. Nothing looked untoward. The branches of the twisted oak swayed in the breeze, with Ozzy perched on one of them on sentry duty. He swiveled his head to look at me, blinked his black eyes twice, then continued to stare straight ahead once more. His presence was a comfort of sorts, but I couldn’t quite shake the feeling of foreboding that came from nowhere and threatened to overwhelm. I knew better than to ignore it. I sighed. If only life could be boring, just for a little while.
