I'm Nothing (The Family Book 2), page 10
“We’re supposed to take over, marry who we’re ordered to marry. We’re trained to fight to the death. My father also took great pleasure in torture in case I ever got taken. Our secrets are our greatest asset. It’s what our enemies would like to know in here.” He pressed a finger to his head. “It’s what makes us valuable. Our contacts, our suppliers, all of it. They’d kill for that. Even the law would kill for it, but it stays trapped up there.”
“He trained you to be tortured.”
“Yep. He went as far as he was able to. I still have all my fingernails and toenails.”
“You just got beat to a bloody pulp.”
“All for a good cause.”
She went to her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck, and holding onto him. “That’s all over now, and you don’t need to worry about it again.” She kissed his cheek. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”
“Baby, you’re not going to be able to stop it.”
No, she wouldn’t accept that. “Then remember, I’ve got your back. I’ll always have your back, and I’ll do whatever is needed to protect you. Always.” She cupped his cheek, turning him to face her.
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“This isn’t about doing what is owed. This is about doing what is right. You’re a good person, Tonio. You have the right to be taken care of. To be protected, and if no one is prepared to do that, you’ve got me.”
“When you leave?” he asked.
She saw the pain in his eyes and heard it in his voice.
“Tonio, you’re not getting rid of me. Are you scared yet? I like you, and if you’re happy for me to stick around, I’m not going anywhere.”
He cupped her cheek, stroking his finger against her skin. “What are you doing to me?”
“I’m hoping that I’m making you hard for me again.”
Tonio took hold of her hand and pressed it against his swelling cock. “What do you think?”
“I think I could get used to playing games with you.”
She gripped his cock at the base and started to work up to the tip, then back down again.
“You’re hard again.”
“You’re completely naked. What do you expect? And the answer to your questions, no, you’re not scaring me, not one bit. Secondly, I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay.”
“Really? Are you sure? I’m a pretty scary person.”
He laughed. “I’m not afraid.” He cupped her cheeks and pressed his lips against hers. She closed her eyes, basking in the pressure of his mouth, loving the feel of his lips against hers. He pressed his tongue to her lips, and she opened up. “Kiss me back,” he said.
She worked his cock with her hand, and at the same time, she followed his lead with the kiss, touching her tongue to his.
“I think it’s time I taught you something else,” he said.
“Actually, there’s something I want to do, and I’ve watched on those porn programs, and I’m kind of curious about it.”
“You are? What is it?”
Climbing off the bed, she sank down to her knees, gripping his thighs. “Do you need another clue?”
She touched her tongue to the tip of his cock and gave it a gentle lick. His pre-cum tasted a little salty. Zara did the action again, watching him the whole time.
“Fuck, that feels good.”
“I want to do this to you, to give you something good to remember.”
“I’m not going to stop you, baby.”
She smiled up at him and gripped his cock in her fist. Holding him steady, she glided her tongue down the vein, before taking the tip of his dick into her mouth. He was a big man, but she took as much of him to the back of her throat as she could. When she was going to gag on the length, she pulled away, and let go of his shaft with a pop.
“Are you going to tell me what you like?” she asked.
“I wasn’t going to complain with my dick in your mouth. You can do what you like.”
Zara chuckled. “So, I can get all the information out of you that I want. This could be my kind of torture.” Before he could say another word, she sucked on him hard, and he cursed. His hands moved to the back of her head, and one of his hands wrapped in the length of her hair, tugging on the strands.
“How did I get so fucking lucky?” he asked.
“You did something good, and you’re being rewarded for it.” She released his dick long enough to speak, and then went about showing him exactly how much she wanted to learn.
“Gifts?” Tonio asked.
“Our families are all built on greed. A party for adults, offering pretty much every sin that comes to mind was far too tempting for them to resist,” Luiz said. “Of course they don’t know that drugs and women won’t be there. Alcohol will be of course and food. The other luxuries they can do without.”
They were sat inside Donnie’s large house. Sharon, Paige’s mother, had left to go on vacation, and also because Donnie wanted her out of the way. Tonio didn’t like Sharon. She had willingly put her own daughter in harm’s way just to have a life luxury. He’d never let that happen. Even now he had people that he trusted guarding Zara. She was back at the apartment with Paige and Charlene.
“Where’s the party going to be?” Jake asked.
“Here of course. There’s nothing screams a dead beat party than at my father’s old home. It’s rather … poetic.” Donnie looked around the large extravagant house.
“Will you be bringing Paige?” Tonio asked.
“No. She can’t be here. She’s due to give birth any day now, and I’m not going to risk anything happening to her.”
Tonio stared at his friend, seeing the concern and love for Paige. “Aren’t you afraid?”
“Of what?” Donnie asked.
“Well, apart from Jake, our fathers treated us like shit—”
“Actually, my father was exactly the same. I didn’t have to grow up with the pressure of a title within The Family, but I had to grow up with the strengths of a soldier. I still had to have my training. The only difference between us was how my training was handled.” Jake looked at all of them. “We all have a past.”
“Yeah, and don’t you think it would make us bad fathers?” Tonio asked. He’d been thinking about it a lot. The Family was a lot to take on, but for the most part they’d been training all of their lives for this. Fatherhood, that was a whole different thing. Tonio didn’t know if he’d be a good father. He didn’t know how to be, and he couldn’t even keep Zara safe.
“I know what my father did, and I know it was wrong. This is where I make a choice, Tonio. I choose to be like my father, or I fight what he did. He was wrong in everything. I love Paige with my whole heart. She’s terrified of having a baby, and I am as well. We’re young. Too young to be having kids, and too fucking young to be okay with killing people. Yet here we are, killing people, and making babies. Life is about choices, Tonio. To live or die, to be good or bad. Each day we make a new choice. I’m going to be a good father. I’m going to be everything my father wasn’t, and I’m going to prove that you can live with this life, and still be good to those you love. This is what we planned for. We planned for a future that would make us happy, that would make our sisters safe. I’m still fighting for that. What about you guys?”
“Our fathers don’t define us, Tonio. We define who we are. They fucked us up along the way, but we can make a choice as well,” Luiz said.
Tonio nodded. In that brief moment, he recalled the beatings, the insults, all of it.
You’re nothing, boy.
Piece of worthless shit.
They were all words.
“When all of this is over, Zara is remaining with me. I’ve already arranged for college for her. I want her to have the chances that were taken from her.” He’d been looking into colleges. Tonio secretly hoped she picked the
“Oh, do you lo-ove her,” Luiz asked.
Laughing, Tonio shook his head. “Why did I know one of you would start that?”
“What? Our life is serious all the time. What’s wrong with having some fun?” Jake asked. They all stood in the dining room, each at a different part of the table. Donnie at the head, Tonio at the foot, with Luiz and Jake either side.
“If we pull this off, our lives could be our own. We could make the change that we’ve been planning for, hoping for.”
“I think it’s possible,” Luiz said.
“Has Lucien accepted the invite?” Tonio asked.
“All of our enemies have taken the invite. It will be like a ripple effect. Once we kill the ones closest to us, their sources will come to us,” Donnie said. “No one wants to mess with The Family.”
“We show them we mean business,” Jake said.
“How are you feeling?” Tonio asked.
“Strangely excited. When we saved my dad the last time, I couldn’t help but be a little … concerned. He’d been part of the life from birth. He’d been a soldier, and I didn’t know if he’d ever be able to handle change. I guess when it all came down to it, he really couldn’t,” Jake said.
“Are we sick fucks that none of us care that our fathers are gone?” Tonio asked.
“The world is a better place for it,” Luiz said. “Let’s face it, our fathers always knew how to hit where it hurts. If Donnie’s dad was alive, Paige would be dead, or the kid she is carrying would be. Mysterious things always happened, and it was also messages to those who had something to lose. This time, it’s not going to happen.”
“When is the party being held?” Tonio asked.
“A week from Saturday. Everyone is invited. Of course, kids are not seeing as this is an adult only party. All people with kids will be turned away,” Luiz said.
“I’m not bringing Zara.”
“Our fathers used to go to parties alone, and pick up women. I think us going without our respective women will look like we’re cut from the same cloth as our parents,” Donnie said. “It always freaked me out when I saw Dad with a new woman. I hated it, but at the same time, it meant he’d leave Mom alone.”
“We’ve all got our memories,” Tonio said.
All of them turned to him. “Yes, we do.”
Silence fell on the room. Tonio wanted to tell them the truth right there, but he didn’t want to risk spoiling it by his past. It was bad enough he lived it. The thought of his friends being repulsed by him was too much to bear.
“Come on then, are you in love with Zara?” Luiz asked, changing the subject, and making Tonio feel relief.
“I think I do. She’s not like anyone else I’ve ever been with.” He smiled. “She makes me smile, and it’s fun, you know?”
“Paige drives me crazy, but I wouldn’t have her any other way. With her being pregnant she’s worried I don’t want her anymore, but I just laugh. That’s never going to change. She’s my world, and I will love her for the rest of my life.”
“Have you heard these sappy boys?” Luiz asked.
“I don’t know. I’d rather be sappy than be alone.”
“What about you and Charlene? You’ve gotten close,” Donnie asked.
“It’s not going to work out. She doesn’t like men. At least that is what she told me. Your father ruined her for all men.” Jake shrugged. “I’ll be there to care for her, and for your little sister. Love for me is not on the cards. What about you, Luiz?”
“I’m free as a bird.”
“I always thought you were gay.”
“Please, you just wanted me,” Luiz said, running a hand down his body and batting his eyes. “Anyone who is anyone wants this body.”
Rolling his eyes, Tonio glanced down at the time.
“The cameras have all been installed, and we have the footage we’re going to unleash when everyone is here. The soldiers who swore loyalty to us have been given their instructions. When the last guest arrives, they will seal everyone inside. No one leaves without our instruction. Pack your weapons, and make sure you’re protected. It will get bloody,” Donnie said.
“Anything else?” Tonio asked.
“Yeah, let’s try and have fun. If this goes according to plan, we may have the rest of our lives to look forward to.”
“So, you and Tonio?” Paige asked the moment the guys were gone.
Zara chuckled. She was standing in the kitchen, baking up a fresh batch of bread. Even though for her own safety she was confined to the apartment room, she liked to make herself useful. She baked for herself and Tonio and delivered bread to Paige, Charlene, Jake, and Luiz. That work alone kept her busy. She never made pizza though. She wanted to forget about the scent of pizza, the way it looked, and just the entire process.
“I had to wonder about Tonio. He always looked sad,” Charlene said.
“There is something sad about him,” Paige said. “All of the guys have been through so much. It’s amazing that they can actually function at times. It makes me angry at how their parents got away with it.”
“They had all the right people in their pocket,” Charlene said. “So are you and Tonio a couple?”
“We’re a couple.” She gave a little squeal. “A real couple. We’ve not admitted that we love each other, but we do like each other.”
“Do you love him?” Paige asked.
“Yes. I do. He’s … I was always fascinated with him in high school, you know? There was just something about him, and now, getting to know him. Yeah, I love him. I won’t tell him though, not yet. He could run at the moment, and think I’m a crazy person.”
“You are a crazy person,” Paige said. “Okay, so you’re with Tonio. Now, Charlene, what about you and Jake?”
“Nothing is going on between Jake and me. We’re friends.”
“He likes you.”
Zara saw the sadness in Charlene’s eyes. “I’m just not … attracted to him, you know? I don’t want anything with any men. I didn’t even like Anthony. He forced himself on me, and I’ve never fancied men.”
“You’re a lesbian?” Paige asked.
“Yeah, I am. Growing up I knew I was attracted to girls, and that has never changed. If anything, it has only gotten stronger.”
“I’m so sorry,” Zara said.
“Do you find one of us attractive?” Paige asked.
“No, you’re both safe. I don’t have a thing for women who are already taken.”
“Damn, and here I was hoping to spice things up,” Zara said. She hadn’t been a virgin for three days, and Tonio was making good on his promise to show her better than porn. At night if he was out late on business, she’d purposefully leave a porn film running so that he’d wake her up. She loved teasing him.
She loved everything about him, and hoped one day he would trust her enough to open up about his past with his father. His nightmares had lessened, and when he did have them, she’d welcome him into her arms and body. Zara couldn’t turn him away. She didn’t want to.
“I never expected to have kids, and I’ve got a daughter. I’m not going to go looking for romance. It wouldn’t be fair on Donnie.”
“You’ve got to learn to have some fun for you as well. This bad stuff happened to you, but remember Donnie said he’d be there for you, honey. If you want to look for the right woman, then look. We’re not going to stop you,” Paige said.
“What about his thoughts? I’m gay, Paige. Not many people can handle that.”
“Donnie’s different, and don’t worry about a thing. I can handle my husband.”
Zara spread some tomato paste on the center of the bread, followed with a sprinkle of parmesan. She rolled the bread up like a sausage, and crossed the bread over in the pan.
“It will taste even better once it has proofed and then baked.” Zara covered the bread, and placed it in a warm place to rise.
“Where did you learn to bake and to cook?” Charlene asked.
“It’s fun, isn’t it?” Paige asked.
“Yes. I love it. I always feel close to my dad when I do. I feel like if I copy his recipes, I’m remembering him, and he’s still alive. Does that sound crazy?” she asked.
“No, not at all.” This was from Charlene.
“I do have a question,” Paige said.
“What?” Zara took a sip of her water before clearing away the extra flour on the counter.
“You want to keep your father’s memory alive, and that is great, but you won’t talk to your mother. How come?”
Washing her hands, Zara turned to face her friends. They had all become close during her stay at the apartment.
“She had a choice to tell me. When Dad died, she lied to me. Dad never said anything, so I guess in a weird kind of way, I always figured he wasn’t lying to me. Mom, she made my life hell. I wasn’t allowed to go away to college, or do anything. I had to stay and pay off this debt. Lucien fucked with her, and in turn she fucked with me. Some things are harder to forgive.”
“Will you ever go and see her?” Charlene asked.
“One day. Just not today, and probably not tomorrow. It’s bitchy I know, but imagine spending your entire life in a pizza shop, working all day every day, trying to make ends meet, with the stress, and it’s all because of a lie. How would you feel?”
“I’m with Zara on this one. I don’t talk to my mother for the same problem. She chose a life of luxury over my protection. I’m not helping her ass anymore than I have to.” Paige touched her stomach. “She’s not coming near my baby either.”
“I find it funny. We’ve all been fucked some way or the other by parents and by people close to us,” Charlene said.
“It couldn’t be that bad. We’ve found friendships here,” Paige said. “I consider both of you my friends.”
“Same here, and you being gay doesn’t bother me,” Zara said.
“You guys are sweet.”