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Illicit desires the illi.., p.15

Illicit Desires (The Illicit Series Book 1), page 15


Illicit Desires (The Illicit Series Book 1)

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  "Me too, thank you so much." I smiled shyly and looked away.

  He tugged on my hands a little, pulling me toward him, and I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest somehow. Just as our lips were an inch away from each other's, I heard the door opening abruptly.

  Adrian stood under the doorframe, eyes bloodshot and face flushed. I got worried about him for a second – he looked as if he was sick or something – but it was just for a second, then I realized he wasn't sick or anything, he was madly angry.

  His eyes were fixed on Ian's hands in mine, then turned to glare at him. If looks could kill, Ian would have been a dead man right then. "Get inside!" he roared, his eyes still on Ian, though I knew he meant the words for me, of course.

  "Hey, Ad—"

  "Shut the fuck up, dickhead," Adrian interrupted him. "I'll deal with you later. Get inside, Lily!"

  It was the first time I had ever feared Adrian. It was like he wasn't himself, like he was drunk or high, and the only emotion he could show was rage.

  "Uh, can you give us a minute, please?" Ian asked.


  "You'll leave my fucking house right the fuck now if you want to keep your fucking dick attached to your fucking body."

  "What is yo—"

  "Ian," I interrupted, "It's okay, we'll talk tomorrow, okay?" I tried to minimize the damage.

  "But, Lily—"

  "Please?" I begged. "Please."

  Ian huffed, nodded once, and left.

  We watched him as he got back to his car and drove away. Abruptly, Adrian grabbed me by the arm and dragged me inside the house, then closed the door. I winced when my back hit the closed door as he shoved me against it.

  "What the fuck has he done with you?" he growled; his voice was somehow scarily low.

  I didn't reply to him. I was frozen with shock and fear.

  "Did he fuck you already?" His eyes would be shooting fire if they could. "Answer me." He shoved me again.

  "Ow!" I knew I could defend myself, I knew I could push him away, and I knew I should at least reply. But I didn't.

  I felt so bad for the way he looked, knowing that it was all me. I had caused it.


  "What is that noise down there?" It was Dad. "Adrian! What the heck are you doing? Get your hands off of your sister!"

  In just one moment my Dad was behind Adrian, trying to move him away from me. Adrian wasn't snapping out of it, and he wouldn't pull away.

  "Adrian! Let go of your sister, right now!"

  Eventually, my Dad was able to make Adrian lose his grip on my shoulders, and he shoved him with one hand to the wall beside me. I winced because of the sight and because the blood was rushing back to where his hands had left, and it hurt.

  Dad hugged me with his free arm. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

  I nodded, and looked down.

  "What the heck is wrong with you, Adrian? Have you lost your frigging mind?"

  "Ask her the same question, Dad." he replied angrily. "She didn't even tell me!"

  "Tell you what? What on earth is going on here?"

  "She went out with that douchebag and I had no fucking idea about it!"

  "Watch your language, Adrian!" Dad warned. "And what's that? You want her to get your permission before she goes out or something?"

  "I would've told her he's not a good guy."

  "Your best friend is not a good guy? What's does that say about you?"

  "Exactly! He's my best friend and I know him better! He's a fucking manwhore, Dad!" I flinched at the sound of his voice and his words as well.

  "I'm not telling you again to watch your tongue, Adrian. And it's not any of your business to tell her who she can and cannot go out with. She's old enough to make her own decisions."

  "He's fucked every fucking girl in our school except for our sisters and Emma! And now he's messing around with my own fucking sister?"

  "That's it! You're grounded."

  "Whatever!" He shoved my dad's hand that was still on his chest away.

  "Apologize to your sister," Dad ordered.

  "In your dreams." he said as he walked away.

  "Adrian!" Dad yelled, but he was only met by the sound of Adrian's door being closed roughly.

  He sighed and rubbed my shoulder as I sobbed in his arms.

  "Are you okay?" he asked me again.

  I nodded into his chest.

  "I'm sorry about that," he apologized. "Ian is a good kid, your brother is just being overprotective of you. Do you want to talk about it?"

  I shook my head no.

  "Okay. Go get some rest, and maybe we can talk about it in the morning, okay, sweetie?"

  I nodded again, unable to say anything. As I walked into my room, I wondered where Mom had been all of that time, but figured it might be one of those nights when she couldn't sleep except with her sleeping pills.

  I needed to cry a little on her shoulder…

  That night, I cried myself to sleep, Adrian's words echoing back in my mind over and over again.

  It wasn't like I didn't know how Ian was, but I liked him, and I knew he liked me, too. I knew he could be different, and it wasn't like he was cheating on me with those girls or anything. The way Adrian reacted was another story.

  Will it always be like that?

  Breakfast was something really stupid, no one was talking. I only spoke when Mom asked if I wanted to talk to her – of course Dad had told her. I politely declined her offer and just went to school, not bothering to even look to see if Adrian was following behind me with his car like every other day.

  We didn't talk at all during classes. I had one class with Sandra and I did my best not to show how upset I was. I knew that I wouldn't see Ian except at lunch, and I was anxiously waiting for it. I wanted to see if he was okay, and if Adrian had said or done anything to him.

  I spotted Emma and Julia as I carried my tray while I was dragged by Sandra. I didn't want to go to them, but Sandra left me no choice. The guys were nowhere to be found though; I figured they were out for a smoke or something.

  Emma had a pink nose, and silent tears were streaming down her face as she talked with Julia. She looked so upset.

  "What's wrong?" I asked, because it was the thing I was supposed to say.

  "What's wrong?" Julia repeated angrily. "Your son of a bitch of a brother is what's wrong. He's been treating her like trash and this has to stop!" Her hands were flying everywhere as she ranted.

  Sandra gasped.

  I pressed my lips together. "You do realize that that bitch you're talking about is my mother?"

  "Whatever!" Julia huffed and looked away.

  "Julia!" Sandra warned.

  "It's okay, Sandra. I'm going."

  I wasn't in the mood to deal with Julia. She could be tough, but I knew she had a kind heart. She'd come around. I threw my food tray with all of the untouched food on it into the trashcan and left to get some fresh air.

  A few minutes later, I felt a nudge on my shoulder as I was sitting on one of the seats outside.

  It was Julia. "I'm sorry."

  I offered her a small smile, patting the hand that was on my shoulder, but didn't say anything.

  She sat beside me. "Emma is really important to me, Lily. You know that, right?"

  I nodded.

  "She's been with me in my darkest days. I don't know what I would've done without her. I want to be there for her, too." She went on and on about how much she loved Emma. I really didn't need to hear it, but I just nodded and assured her that I wasn't upset with her and I just came outside because I needed some time alone.

  She took the hint and left.

  "Hey, beautiful," I heard Ian saying from behind me.

  I smiled. "Hey."

  "Do you want to go for a walk?”

  I nodded and took his hand. We walked hand in hand around the school. We did that often, though it was different this time.

  "Have you seen Adrian yet?"

p; He sighed. "Something like that."

  "Did he say anything about us?"

  "Well, he's not happy about it."

  "Yeah… I know he isn't," I huffed. "I'm sorry," I said after a moment.

  "For what? I already knew he wouldn't take it lightly. I know how overprotective he is when it comes to you." He moved a hand down my cheek, as we were now standing by a tree.

  I nodded and looked down, blushing.

  "Look, Lily, if you have second thoughts abo—"

  "I don’t," I interrupted. "It's just… I know he won't let us be, he won't go easy on you."

  "It's okay. You're worth it." His thumb rubbed my cheek softly. "There is something I've wanted to do for a very long time." His thumb brushed my lips. I hummed softly and closed my eyes.

  His lips captured mine, and he kissed me ever so softly. It was nice and tender, warm and wet, and he made sure to make me feel how much he liked me in that kiss.

  When he pulled back and smiled, I knew that it meant a lot to him, and I wasn't just someone he wanted to mess around with like my brother had said. It was more.

  I also knew one more thing after Ian kissed me…

  Adrian had ruined me for any other guy.

  DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! The asshole is fucking dead!

  "Adrian!" I heard Mom call after me as I abruptly left the dining table. "Where are you going?" She yelled her question, but I ignored her; I couldn't find it in me to reply.

  "Adrian!" I didn't reply to Dad either, I just got in my car and roamed the streets, not really knowing where I was going.

  I tried calling her cell phone, but it went straight to voicemail. I tried the asshole's – same thing. I spent God only knows how much time going from this cinema to the other, trying this restaurant, or McDonald's, or maybe they went to the mall? I tried every-fucking-where I knew, trying to get a hold of her, to know where she was. Nothing!

  The next thing I knew, I was sitting in my car, punching the wheel and cursing the air, scaring the shit out of any passersby.

  How could she? And with Ian of all people? God! God! God!

  The thoughts of what he might be doing with her haunted me like a fucking ghost. Everything I knew about Ian screamed at me that he'd try anything imaginable with her.

  I felt my heart burning from the inside; I was choking! Breathing was so hard, I gasped and choked on air, then gasped some more. The mental image of them being intimate together was strangling me unmercifully.

  Everything after that was hazy. I remember a police officer returning me to my house, talking with my dad, and Dad telling me that it was a panic attack.

  The fuck do I care!

  He was trying so hard to get me to talk to him about what was bothering me, but I fucking didn't say a word. Seriously, what could I say? I shrugged him off and told him to leave me alone. He said that he'd be awake for a while if I needed anything.

  Just fuck off already!

  I paced my fucking room back and forth, waiting for her majesty to come back home. She took too fucking long. It passed ten o'clock and she still wasn't there; it was a fucking school night for fuck's sake! I thought I was going to go bald from all of the hair gripping I was doing. I was fucking dying with frustration, worry and anger.

  I'll kill the motherfucker. I swear I'll kill him.

  At eleven o'clock I heard a car approaching our front yard.

  She's here! My heart pounded hard in my chest.

  I didn't kill Ian that night after all; I scheduled it for later. Though I really messed up with Lily, I couldn't help it, I couldn't control myself. I was really mad and I didn't know what I was saying or doing.

  My parents paid me a visit in my room the next morning, scowling at me about what I had done, telling me I was grounded. The fuck do I care. I simply rolled my eyes at them and went downstairs to the kitchen, arguing with myself and fighting really hard not to flip them off.

  Emma was annoyingly all over me at school. I had told her I wasn't feeling well more than one time, yet she kept bugging me, talking nonsense. I had to tell her to fuck off. That made her shut the fuck up at last.

  Not very nice, I know, but I was anxiously waiting for the fucker to show up so I could give him a piece of my mind. And I did.

  Let's just say it was ugly – not as ugly as I wanted it to be since his pretty face was still unharmed, but it was something anyway. The dickhead dared to tell me that it wasn't any of my business when I demanded that he stay away from my sister.

  Fucking douche!

  I never saw them kissing, thank fuck for that. I don't know what would I do if I ever witnessed something like that. Though the fucking holding hands and the side glances and the fucking blushes and the asshole's winks were driving me crazy.

  Every time I saw something like that, I just wanted to break something. Or Ian's nose. Fucker.

  I was kept late after practice doing some pushups the coach required as punishment for punching Ian in the stomach again as we passed the ball to each other, so the asshole and Elliot were already in the changing room when I got there.

  "But you seem to be head over heels for Lily. Am I right, or am I right?" Elliot's words stopped me in my tracks.

  They were talking about my sister! I stepped back so I could hear what the asshole was saying, without them knowing I was there listening.

  "Are you kidding? I think I passed the head over heels thing with levels, man!" Ian answered.

  "Whoa! That's new!"

  "Yeah … " Asshole sighed. "It feels so different with her. I only know that it feels like the sun coming out after a rainy day every time I see her smiling."

  The fuck?!


  "Yeah, I'm officially whipped!"

  "I noticed," Elliot said. "Well, at least you're not pussy-whipped! That's something!"

  "How can you tell?"

  "I just know …"

  "Seriously, how do you know we haven't had sex yet?"

  Oh! Thank God! Even though I already knew they hadn't, it felt good to have that confirmed.

  "Okay, but if Sandra finds out I told you anything, I'll be a dead man – but I'll kill you first!"


  "Sandra and Lily made this virginity pact thing together. They decided to lose it the same night. So since I'm not getting any – you're not either."

  Oh! Better not be getting any anytime soon then, you dick!

  "Oh! That's …" Asshole said, then stopped.


  "I don't know, man. It's been eighteen long ass days since the last time I had sex, do you know what that means for me? Sex is like my oxygen!"

  "So you're basically suffocating!"

  "Exactly!" Asshole chuckled and Elliot joined him.

  I couldn't stand there anymore and listen, no matter how much I wanted to stay. I went to the showers without even bringing my towel with me, which was why I'd gone there in the first place.

  Asshole was gonna die real soon.

  DEAD! DEAD! DEAD! The asshole is fucking dead!

  Another fucking date! She went on another fucking date! And still she told me nothing. Fucking nothing!

  He was no doubt going to sleep with her this time. I was sure of it. Why would he wait any longer? I felt my blood running cold, then I felt it boiling inside me. Everything around me was spinning; everything around me was foggy.

  He can't touch her. He just can't. She's mine. Mine! Mine! Mine!

  Elliot and Sandra. Yes! Fuck! How could I forget? If they weren't out together, then my girl was safe.

  "Hey, it's Elliot, you know what to d-" The fucker didn't answer; it went straight to fucking voicemail.



  "Hey, Adrian."

  "Are you with Elliot?"

  "Um, yeah!" Oh, fuck! "Look, it's not a really good tim-"

  "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

  "Is everything okay, Adrian?"

  I hung up.

  They were going to do it tonight! Or alre
ady had done it, for all I knew. I went to Asshole's house, but he wasn't there. It was the only place I could think of. I didn't know where else I could search.

  He wouldn't take her in his car, would he? God! God! I felt so much pain, it fucking hurt!

  It felt like someone was taking my soul away from me, ever so slowly, and I had no control over it, or any power to stop it. Yes, my soul. Lily is my soul. And she was slipping out of my fingers.

  "Hey, baby!" Emma answered on the second ring. I called her, only because I didn't know anyone else to call.

  "Where are your parents?"

  "Uh, they're still outside. Is ever-"

  "Good! I'm coming over. You'd better be fucking wet and ready." I don't know how I got to her house, or how I made it to her room, but I knew it took me less than five minutes to make it there.

  "Hey, are you okay?” she gasped. “Oh my God, are you crying?"

  I'm not crying, what the fuck is she talking about?!

  "Bend over!" I said as I slipped off my jacket and started working on my belt.

  "What's wrong, Adrian?" She looked all confused and worried, and her fucking annoying questions were driving me crazy.

  I huffed.

  "Okay, can we just kiss first, at least?" she came closer and her hands touched my chest, "Let's make out, touch me."

  "I said bend the fuck over, Emma!"

  She didn't say anything else. She just did as I told her and went to her bed, then posed on all fours, facing away from me.

  I yanked her shorts down and left them hanging by her knees, then I stroked myself a few times before I put on the condom and put my dick on her entrance.

  "Ow!" she winced.

  "I thought I told you to be fucking wet!" I spat in my hand and tried to lubricate her before I thrust into her again. .


  Would the asshole be doing this now?! Would he fuck her hard? Would he take her innocence and pureness?

  "Ah, Adrian, slow down a bit!"

  Would he taste how sweet her skin is? Would he feel her tits and how perfect they are? Would he make her come?

  "Adrian, please!"

  Will she moan his fucking name?

  "Adrian! Please, stop! You're going to hurt me!" Emma cried.

  I froze.

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