Denali Dreams, page 23
Those green eyes looked up at him. “You’re welcome. See you soon.”
“Yeah, see ya.” The door couldn’t swallow him up fast enough. Did he really just thank her for taking his paperwork? He needed more than sleep. Maybe he could get a brain transplant before he saw her again.
Deanna watched Josh walk away. For the first time in fifteen years, she found herself interested in a guy. At the age of twelve, Deanna made a vow to never allow herself to be attracted to or fall in love with a man. Her sister’s stalker and murderer could take the credit for that.
Now at the ripe old age of twenty-seven, she couldn’t keep that vow. At least the attraction part. She wasn’t in love. Yet. But her heart had other ideas. Josh Richards pulled her in like a magnet.
She’d watched him with the other rangers. Eager to learn, not overly cocky, though he knew his stuff. Whenever he came around her, he stumbled over his words. She’d never say it aloud, but his nervousness endeared him to her heart. Josh never had trouble speaking to anyone else. Which told her one thing—he liked her. And for some strange and wonderful reason, she wanted him to.
But it could never be. She’d hold the attraction deep in her heart and treasure all the memories she could make with the handsome ranger. And that would be the end of it. No attachments. She nodded to emphasize her point.
For seven years, she’d worked at the Talkeetna Ranger Station. Everyone knew who she was. And yet no one knew who she really was.
Depression clawed its way up and threatened to take over. How she longed for a real life. A loving relationship. Friends she could confide in.
But that was just a dream. One that could never be.
John, the head ranger, dropped by her desk. “Hey, Deanna, thanks for all your work on that last project. Your spreadsheet was incredibly helpful. The guys were able to see everything plain as day. I know that took a lot of extra work.”
“You’re welcome.” She gave John her classic I’m-always-happy-to-do-whatever-needs-to-be-done smile.
“You’re a trouper. I don’t know why you enjoy paperwork so much, but the other rangers appreciate it.” John tapped her desk and walked away.
Most of the others would be gone soon. She’d lock up the building and head to her small two-bedroom house, shut the blinds, bolt the door, and eat her dinner. Alone.
When Missy waved good-bye, Deanna sat down at her desk, her thoughts returning to Josh. Memories of her past tumbled in. What would he think if he knew the truth?
She’d arrived in the small Alaska town a fresh graduate from college. Young and eager to learn, she knew how to avoid people prying too much into her history. From their perspective, she was just getting started in her life anyway, right? Everyone thought she was an orphan, loved Alaska and mountaineering. They were correct, in that much at least.
The truth—the real truth, buried under layers of lies and years—was horrific. After her sister’s murder, her parents were stalked by the murderer. During her junior high years, the most insecure time in her life, they changed her last name and sent Deanna away to boarding school in an attempt to hide her from the madman. For a year her parents stayed on the run. The FBI told her it was for her safety. But that wasn’t how it felt to a young girl about to become a teen.
In reality, her parents had been prey. They’d been hunted. Until one day, her father couldn’t take the hiding or running anymore. He drove their car off the highway into a ravine. With himself and her mother inside.
Deanna had been taken into protective custody and placed with an unfeeling police couple to hide her true identity. Her teen years were filled with schooling, but love and laughter weren’t part of the equation. The officers kept their emotional distance.
The killer had never been caught. But every once in a while, the FBI received a note or tip.
And so she’d hidden all these years. From everyone, even God. Never allowing anyone to penetrate her walls.
Every few months her mind took this path and wounded her heart anew. The memories were so vivid, the pain still fresh. The childhood she could never get back.
She slumped over her workspace as the grief tore through her yet again. A few tears escaped her own prescribed barrier and dropped onto the file folder on her desk.
Josh’s file.
Loneliness ripped her protective walls to shreds. In the silence of the moment, her heart ached for what could never be.
Chapter 2
Snow was coming. Deanna could feel it in the air.
A slow smile stretched across her face as she finished her five-mile walk around town and the flakes began to fly. The guys would hate her for sure.
It took a good three-hour pity party to put herself to rights last night, but her confidence and shield were back in place. She’d done this a long time. Her will was strong.
By the time she reached her house, a half inch stuck to the ground. Oh, she was good.
An hour later, Deanna walked into the ranger station’s conference room and poured herself a cup of coffee. “Morning, guys!”
“Morning, Dee.” Zack handed her a fax. “Looks like the reports are correct, termination dust in Anchorage for three days. And an inch on the ground here already. You know what that means.”
“It means I win the pool again, doesn’t it?” She teased and held out her palm to the other rangers at the table. “Pay up.”
Dollar bills were smacked into the middle of the table and her palm. “How do you do that?” Logan gave her his dollar.
She grinned. “I smell it.”
“Well, your uncanny ability has won the past four years.” David shook his head. “I’m beginning to think I’ve lost my touch.”
David Whiteeagle had been the long-standing winner of the rangers’ pool before Deanna arrived. The massive guy was intimidating, but once you got to know him, he was more of a ginormous teddy bear.
Deanna gave him a gentle pat on the arm. “It’s okay, David. I’m sure Jolie still loves you.”
The guys guffawed around the table.
Missy giggled. “Seriously, girl, I don’t know how you do it. You name a date. The guys in Anchorage confirm the termination dust, and then it snows here. Every time.”
“Yeah, and we all thought we had a chance this year, since you picked an early date.” Kyle stuck out his bottom lip. “It’s not fair.”
“You just don’t like being beat.” Deanna laughed along. “But I’m sorry—it’s time to pay up. And I don’t just mean your dollar bills. You know what you have to do, boys.”
Josh jogged into the room, out of breath. “Sorry, guys. I, uh, forgot to set my alarm.”
John welcomed him. “No problem, you didn’t have to be here today anyway. But you just missed Deanna winning the pool.”
“Stinking termination dust.” Zack held up the fax. “Had to go and prove her right. Again.”
“Wait a sec,” Josh piped up. “What’s termination dust?”
Laughter rounded the table again. Deanna smiled, enjoying the camaraderie of the station.
“Hey, take pity on the guy, would ya?” Zack wrapped an arm around Josh’s shoulders. “He’s from the lower forty-eight.”
More laughter. Deanna watched Josh from across the room. She took a slow sip of her coffee. He took the banter all in stride.
Logan pulled a tattered book off one of the shelves. “We save this book for all the non-Alaskans who come up here.” He showed the spine to Josh. “The Dictionary of Alaskan English
by Russell Tabbert.” Logan cleared his voice and turned pages. “ ‘Termination dust—an Anchorage area term for the end-of-summer snows that fall on the surrounding mountains and hills, signaling that the traditional construction season is about over and that workers will be terminated soon.’
“And Deanna here bases her guess for our first real—meaning it sticks to the ground—snowfall on their termination dust.”
Josh met her eyes. “Ah, so the lady has won.” With people around, he always seemed to have more confidence to talk to her. She found it charming. Like everything else about him.
She loved the admiration shining in his eyes. If only she could do something about it. Deanna cleared her throat.
“Again.” The cheer came from Missy. “And she deserves it because she puts up with all of us.” Her friend winked at her.
Logan tossed the book in front of Josh. “Here ya go. This might help you out.”
More laughter.
Josh nodded and flipped through the pages, receiving all the slaps on the back with a smile.
Deanna couldn’t help it, her eyes went back to Josh’s only to find his steady gaze. “Well”—she attempted to break the connection—“it just goes to show that none of you should mess with me. I mean business.” She pointed a finger at each one of them but couldn’t keep a straight face.
Balls of paper, napkins, and coffee straws flew across the table.
John stood at the head of the table. “All right, you guys have had your fun. You can bow to her and kiss her feet later. And anything else you might owe her for winning—I’m sure chocolate is involved somehow.” He winked at her. “But right now, it’s back to business. There’s a lot of debriefing that needs to be done. We’ve had a doozy of a season.”
Josh leaned back in his chair and threw the Nerf basketball at the hoop on the door. It missed and bounced onto David’s desk. “Sorry, man.”
“I would say, just go talk to her. But this is Deanna we’re talking about.” His fellow ranger turned pages in the new mountaineering guide they were proofreading.
“What do you mean?” Josh tossed the Nerf again. Missed. “Deanna’s like the sweetest person around.”
“Nobody’s saying she’s not, dude. But she’s been here a long time, and there’s little to nothing any of us know about her.” Another page turned.
That seemed odd. Deanna’s bubbly personality made everyone feel welcome. She was the encourager, the go-getter, the glue that held them all together. And her people skills far exceeded his. “I don’t get it.”
“And you probably never will. It’s like an unwritten rule around here. Nobody can get too close.” David shrugged. “I’m not trying to discourage you, but lots of guys have tried and failed. And those of us around here who know her, or just want to know her better as a friend, have tried and failed as well. Don’t get me wrong. We all love Deanna. But there’s a wall—no, make that a force field—around that woman that I don’t think anyone can penetrate.”
Josh shot the ball again. This time it went in. What if he was the one to make it past her defenses? Or maybe David was right and he was just trying to save him some heartache. One thing he’d learned working with everyone here these past six months—they stuck together. They encouraged each other. Even when they were teasing, they were looking out for the best interests of their fellow rangers.
This was the first time he’d heard one of the guys discourage another about a relationship. Had he not been here long enough to earn their trust? What was it about Deanna? Or was it him?
The auburn-haired ranger made him feel things he’d never felt before. Could she be the one for him?
If only he could convince Deanna.
Chapter 3
Snow boots laced up, Deanna headed out the door to brave the wind and snow. A simple walk to the post office would calm her crazy thoughts, but maybe it wasn’t the brightest idea. Ever since the snow had started two days ago, it hadn’t stopped.
All the rangers razzed her. It was obviously her fault the snow came so early. At the moment, she wasn’t too happy with her prediction, but snow was always good. At least in her point of view. It meant the end of tourist season. Less people.
And less people meant less chance of a stranger entering the area without her knowing.
The habits she’d developed over the years had protected her. They’d been her constant companion.
Stomping her feet outside the door, she turned the knob and entered. Deanna waved at Mrs. Malcolm behind the counter and headed for her P.O. box. She pulled off her gloves and inserted the key.
The stack was larger than she’d expected. Bill, bill, bill, bill, advertisement, and at the bottom, a handwritten letter. She turned it over. Hmm. Postmarked from Fairbanks. Who did she know in Fairbanks that would have her box number? A moment of fear passed over her. She shook it off.
Her curiosity won out and she opened the letter on her way out the door. Nothing could have prepared her for what she read.
The words struck at the secret places inside. Tears burned her eyes. Her heart caught in her throat. No. No! This couldn’t be happening.
Fear crept in. She pulled her sunglasses down from the perch atop her head and forced her eyes to search every door, every nook, every alley around her.
The first instinct was to flee. Her feet started running before she even realized she needed to get home. Run as fast and far as she could.
The house came into view. She ran around the structure and checked all the windows and doors from the outside. Checked the garage. She intentionally never left anything outside that could hide someone. No trash cans. No shrubs. No storage containers.
When she thought it was safe, she unlocked the front door and put a cautious step forward. Nothing seemed amiss. Everything was just as she’d left it. Dropping the mail onto the coffee table, she scanned the room. She picked up the baseball bat she kept by the door with her umbrella. Raised it with both hands. Calm down. If she gave herself a heart attack, he’d win. And she couldn’t allow that to happen.
The safe was upstairs. Deanna closed her eyes and counted slowly to catch her breath and climbed the stairs. Checked each of the rooms. She unlocked the closet and approached the safe. After entering the combination, the door popped open and she pulled out the satellite phone. Turning it on, she prayed for God’s peace. For safety. Then she punched in the number and codes she had memorized.
“Hello.”
“He found me,” she croaked, her emotions spilling out. “I’ve been compromised.”
“Understood. Stay calm. Wait for instructions. I’ll call back in less than fifteen.”
The phone slipped out of her hand and she crumpled to the floor.
When every tear was spent, Deanna uncurled her limbs and wiped at her face.
A new realization hit her in the gut. This wasn’t her. This fear. This frail human being. She’d allowed him to take control, and that wasn’t acceptable.
On wobbly legs, she rose to her feet, picked up the phone, and headed back downstairs.
The letter lay on the table where she’d thrown the mail after locking the door. With a steadying breath, she straightened her shoulders and walked over to it.
Her fingers shook as she reached for it.
Little Girl,
You thought you could run.
But I’ve found you.
There’s nowhere to hide.
Surprise.
The note sickened her. She jutted her chin out, refusing to give him any power over her. She could do this. Closing her eyes, she prayed again. Lord, You’re the only One who really knows what’s going on. I need help. I need protection. Please, God. Don’t let him get to me.
Minutes felt like hours as Deanna waited. Busyness didn’t help. Nothing helped but prayer. In the dark, she drank her third hot chocolate, trying to ward off the chill invading her body. She watched every shadow and light as cars and people passed her window. She prayed some more. As much as she’d made herself not call this place home, she’d been lying to herself. It was home. She was comfortable here. Had felt safe up until now.
She clutched the phone to her chest. Waiting stunk. What would she do? Where could she go? How would she say good-bye? Again.
Josh’s face flooded her mind. Tears streamed down her cheeks for the second time that evening. The sobs overtook her. She’d always be alone. For the rest of her life.
The beep jolted her. A call came in. She sucked in a breath and clicked Talk. “Hello?”
“We’ve got an agent on the way to you now. Stay put. We’ve got a plan.”
“Should I pack?”
“That remains to be seen.”
“How long?”
“Three hours at most. Use the passwords. Don’t let anyone in without them.”
The beep on the line confirmed the call had ended.
Three hours. Seemed like an eternity.
Watching her windows from across the street made him antsy. After all these years, she was still alive. The thought excited him.
She was smarter than he’d anticipated. Her job kept her surrounded by people. Stayed hidden for a long time. But here, in this small town, he’d found her. Finally.
The FBI thought they had him, but it had been far too easy setting someone else up to take the fall.
A chuckle rippled through him as he took a long drag on the cigar. Revenge would be sweet.
Even after fifteen years.
Josh didn’t know what kept him up so late. He was bone tired. But the thought nagged him that something wasn’t right. His mom would tell him to pray when he felt these proddings. Maybe he should. Faith was strong in him, but he had a hard time showing any outward evidence of it. Maybe it had been his time in the Army, or just the simple fact that his dad disliked his mom and her “religion.”
He folded his hands behind his head and looked to the ceiling. God, I know You’re listening and I haven’t been the best talker, but I feel this urgency in my heart. You’re the only One who can help in a time like this. You know what’s going on. I don’t even know who I’m praying for, but You do.
A simple peace flowed through him then, but the urgency stayed. With sleep miles away, he decided to go for a late run. Maybe the brisk air would clear his head and help him sleep.
The road disappeared beneath his sturdy shoes. Long strides worked out the stress and worry in his muscles. He probably just needed to decompress. The upper mountain rotation was a tough one, and add to that David’s words about Deanna. No wonder he was feeling uneasy.
