Ugly perfect, p.1

Ugly, Perfect, page 1


Ugly, Perfect

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Ugly, Perfect

  Ugly, Perfect


  Melanie Walker

  Copyright © 2017 by Melanie Walker

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof

  may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever

  without the express written permission of the publisher

  except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Printed in the United States of America

  First Printing, 2017


  For Dave,

  For all he took from my world, but also all he gave to it.

  You are my greatest friend and my sometimes soul mate.

  I didn't think it was possible to save one another, the way we saved one another, but through Mallory and Dante, I hope I have explained the true connection we share.

  Thank you for loving me in my darkest hour, when love forced me to hate.

  Thank you for trusting me within your darkest hours, when trust was a vacant thought inside of you.

  I love you D. It is a simple, yet complex love that has spanned thousands of miles over the years.

  You won't move on. Love doesn’t work like that. You'll get closure and acceptance and you'll grow. With growth comes change. You cannot love without hate, and you cannot hate without love. It is in those two profound emotions that you'll find peace. Melanie Walker

  Song List

  In order of chapter

  Romeo and Juliet (The Killerz version)

  River of Deceit (Mad Season)

  Hold on (Shel and Garreth Dunlop)

  I miss you (Blink 182)

  No ordinary love ( You + Me)

  I found ( Amber Run)

  Say it (Blue October)

  Round Here (Counting Crows)

  Would (Alice in Chains)

  You Don't Know ( Katelyn Tarver)

  5AM (Amber Run)

  Black ( Aaron Lewis)

  Innocent (Fuel)

  After Midnight (Blink 182)

  Let It Go (James Bay)

  Set fire to the 3rd bar (Snow Patrol)

  What do you want from me ( Adam Lambert)

  Always Midnight ( Pat Monohan)

  Let him fly (Patty Griffin)

  Everything Changes (Staind)

  Oceans (Seafret)

  Unsteady (The X Ambassadors)

  Looking to closely (Fink)

  Elegia (New Order, full version)

  Helium (Sia)

  Holocene (Bon Iver)

  The Gift (Seether)

  Part One

  The Beginning

  Chapter One

  Summer 2007

  Friday Harbor ,WA


  I walked through the sand of Jackson Beach and looked for my best friend Kyra as Miranda Lamberts, Famous in a small town blasted from one of the car stereo's. I had turned eighteen last week and was officially ready to leave this town behind for the University of Colorado Boulder.

  I had lived in Friday Harbor all of my eighteen years, and to say stuck in your hometown was an understatement. You couldn’t get off our little island without a ferry and honestly the neighboring cities didn't offer much more than Friday did.

  Currently however, I would gladly hop a ferry and never look back. "Kyra!" I yell, my tear soaked cheeks burning as I search for my bff.

  "Mal, wait!" My boyfriend Kendal was hot on my heels as I searched for Kyra, desperate to leave. "Mal, stop for a fucking minute!" Kendal grabbed my arm stopping my search as he spun me around to face him.

  "Let me go Ken. Now!" I spit the words out, but he isn't listening.

  "No, stop Mal. I need you to listen to me." Kendal and I had been together for a year. Up until five minutes ago, I had assumed I was as much his world as he was mine. Apparently though, Brittany Pike was his world. At least when he was having sex with her, not two-hundred yards from where the party we attended together, was still in swing. He had disappeared about an hour ago and I had been looking. I also found him, between nasty Brittany Pike's thighs!

  "Fuck you Ken!" I yell and yank my arm free of him. We are creating a scene, not like I care. Everyone in this town will know by morning that Ken was fucking Brittany Pike behind my back. There were no secrets here in Friday, I was just hoping to save face and not have my pain on display. "Kyra!" I yell and rush toward my best friend who is standing with two guys I have never met, and our friend Jesse.

  "Mal, what's wrong?" She asks, but her death glare is fixed on Kendal as he walks toward me with purpose.

  "Stay out of it Kyra!" He demands and reaches to take my arm again when one of the guys I don't know intercepts Kendal's arm and smacks it away from me.

  "I think you need to give her some space." The unknown says, his scary hazel eyes pinned on Ken. He sounds stern, but polite, though I feel like it wouldn’t take much to push this guy into not nice territory.

  "Who the fuck are you?" Ken sneers and brushes off the unknowns suggestion and reaches for me again. I step back this time, closer to the unknown with amazing hazel eyes. I feel an overwhelming sense of safety with him, though he is a stranger.

  "Don't matter who I am if you go away." The unknown says, but then steps forward and all his seriousness is on display for Kendal. "Don't go away, you'll learn real quick who the fuck I am."

  Holy shit!

  Seriously, holy shit who is this bad ass? I look to Kyra now for answers, but she is too fascinated by the show of male alpha-hottness before her.

  Easy target my Kyra.

  "Dude, get out of here. This isn't your business." Kendal dismissed the unknown and looked at me as if I asked this guy to butt in. I didn't, but I wasn't against his input anymore.

  "First off, I'm not your dude. Second, I am not asking again. Back up and walk away, or I am gonna make you." Unknown had taken on a very sinister vibe and it was radiating through the crowd that had gathered. Every syllable he uttered was laced in threat and I knew, without any thought or reason, I knew he wasn't playing. He was willing to take a chunk out of Kendal for even looking at me.

  Kendal would never fight for me or defend me. He was a rich entitled kid, like the many on Friday Harbor. Saving face was more important than doing what was right. No matter who or what it was, Ken would save face and scold me later for embarrassing him.

  Kendal looked to me for help and I looked to him like he lost his mind. "Ken just go, I can't even look at you after the eye full of you and Brittany."

  I knew I wasn't being nice, calling Brittany and Kendal both out in front of everyone, but I don't care. He cheated on me and with a girl who knows damn well we are an item. Everyone knows, it’s a small fucking town.

  Just then, Brittany came out of the crowd in a full blown tantrum. "What the hell Kendal?"

  Unknown laughed as Brittany stood there, hand on her hip glaring at Kendal who wasn't paying her any attention. "Yeah Kendal," Unknown said his name with the enthusiasm of one cleaning dog shit off their shoe. "What the hell?"

  Unknown folded his arms and waited on Ken's reply. It was eerily quiet as we all waited on Kendal's response. It was in that silence I took in the height and sexiness of unknown. He was over six feet and built. Not like the muscle mongers, but built tough. If he was even our age, he had spent those formidable eighteen years working hard to get the body of a grown man, that he had.

  "Bro, I'm not telling you again to butt the fuck out!" Kendal had made a move to step up to unknowns face, but unknown took one step, gripped Ken by the back of his neck and started forcing him to walk, away from the beach.

  I followed of course, as did the fifty or so of us all watching with apt attention. "Nick, follow me out with the trash!" Unknown yelled over his shoulder to his friend, who was named Nick and carried the same sinister vibe as unkno
wn did.

  Who the hell were these guys?

  I wanted to know unknowns name more than anything right now.

  He was gorgeous. A few tattoos on his arms, a black bandana over his head of long brown hair and worn out blue jeans paired with a leather jacket that screamed Hells Angels danger.

  I watched as unknowns friend Nick linked arms with Brittany and followed unknown. The crowd laughed when we all caught on that the trash unknown was referring to was Brittany. In any other situation I would be offended and feel bad for her, but she is trash. She has known for the last year that Kendal and I were in a committed relationship. I am humiliated by both Brittany and Kendal's lack of decency and respect as they fucked behind my back, so my give a damn is broken at the moment.

  And if I am honest, I won't justify shit. Brittany is a bitch.

  I followed the crowd and the drama all the way to the spot everyone parked and watched as Kendal was pushed to the gravel. "I am not your dude, bro or pal. You even think of coming back to that bonfire I'll beat your ass."

  "Oh, I'll be back you asshole. I'll be back with a few friends since you think you can outnumber me." Kendal took Brittany's hand as Nick gently release her arm in a nudge toward Ken.

  "Bring all the friends you want to fuck face, I will still beat your ass." Unknown didn't bother looking at Kendal or the rest of us gawking as he made his way back to the fire with his friend Nick and Kyra. I could hear the whispers of my former classmates as everyone tried to figure out who they were and where they came from.


  I look up at the guy who wants to save me, unsure and dead in my tracks on what to think of what just happened.

  Sooooo not my type, but good looking.

  He looked like any girls bad boy fantasy, biker vest and big black ass beatin' boots and all. My type or not he was beautiful in a wrong way. This guy oozed confidence that left you gut-checked. Kyra was already talking up Unknowns friend Nick and realize that Unknown had said something.

  "I'm sorry." I feel a blush on my cheeks but know it is dark enough that he wouldn’t see it. "I'm still taken back by everything tonight. You asked me something?"

  He smiles and gives a slight chuckle. "I was just saying my name is Dante. Figured you might be curious." He shrugs his shoulders and drinks from a red plastic cup. "Small towns tend to eyeball a stranger."

  I nod and swipe my hand on my jeans. "I'm Mallory Wayne, but everyone calls me Mal." He takes my hand and shakes it, way too formal for teens. I am not even sure if this guy is a teen. He looks to be in his twenties. "How old are you?"

  "Twenty four." He says and I try to hide my shock. I'm not much for speaking out of turn or I would ask what the hell he was doing with a bunch of teens.

  He starts laughing and shakes his head. "Just say whatever it is your thinking Mal."

  I love the sound of his voice saying my name.

  It's besides the point though, because this guy is a man, not a boy. "I just was wondering why someone your age wants to hang with a bunch of teens at a bonfire?" I pause as I drink from my beer, scared he might be a cop.

  "You're not like, a cop or something are you?" The more I think it the more it makes sense. He wasn't scared of Kendal coming back. He was stern, but not irrational.

  Oh fuck! I was going to get arrested.

  Before I was in a full blown panic and thinking up what I would tell my parents when I got my one phone call, he laughed.

  "Calm down Luv." He laughs and drinks from his cup again. "I'm not a narc."

  I take a deep breath and look him over, more dread piling on as creepiness takes over. "You're not, like, required to register in all fifty states are you?"

  This time he spits his drink and drops his glass laughing. "Holy shit you're funny and totally fucking crazy you know that? Fuck no, I'm no Cho Mo."

  I have no idea what a Cho Mo is so I stay on guard trying to find Kyra. Who once again has drifted off. "I am here on an errand and visiting Nick's aunt at the same time."

  I cross my arms over my chest, palming the bottom of my cup of beer and stare him down. "Who is his aunt?"

  "Keri Fairfield."

  Suddenly I feel foolish. The Fairfield's were the richest family in Friday Harbor and not the family anyone would want to ignore. "Wow, the Fairfield's." I let out a light whistle. "They are a big deal here in Friday. Everyone knows them and everyone wants to be them."

  "Yeah?" He asks and looks off in the distance. "Everyone should fear them as much as they admire."

  I wasn't sure I heard him right because nobody would think for a minute that the Fairfield's could be anything but the pride and joy of Friday Harbor. "So, how long are you visiting?"

  I don't know how to explain this guy. He is enigmatic and fierce. I am drawn to him in a way that words can't define. It is deeper than blood and bone and I want nothing more than for him to stay in Friday Harbor. I am eighteen and I am so much younger than him in years, but I don't care about that difference. I mean, when I am twenty he will be twenty-six and that way it doesn’t seem as wrong.

  The thoughts in my mind I let drift away because he isn't staying and I most likely will never see him again because I am leaving in a few months and never coming back.

  "You need a friend Mal?" He asks me and the question stumps me.

  "I have a lot of friends… er D." I have forgotten Unknowns name.


  "D?" He asks and laughs. "It's Dante."

  Not willing to lose face with him I smile my best flirty smile hoping it isn't obvious I suck at flirting. "I know that Dante." I draw his name out and giggle. "I have chosen to call you D. I figure you are mysterious and so for the sake of anonymity, D will do."

  "Okay M." He says and tosses his cup in the nearby garbage.

  "M sounds lame. I prefer Mal or Mallory."

  We both laugh when he agrees that D sounds better and more logical than M. "Well, now wait a minute. We might get it to work. What's your middle initial?" He asks me as we make our way to closer to the shore. The moon is lighting the beach up and the surf feels amazing in the humid night air.

  "June. It's boring."

  "I like it, Mallory June. It’s a beautiful name." He has this deep voice that is unlike any boy I have ever talked to. I have never spent time alone with a man though, and D was all man. "I think I'll call you Emjay. Like your initials, but spelled out like E-m-j-a-y."

  The fact this gorgeous guy wanted to gift me with a nickname gave me butterflies. I needed to get a grip, seriously. He was leaving in the morning.

  "You are over thinking this D. You won't remember me as Mallory, M or even Emjay come tomorrow." I hated how bitter that truth tasted on my lips.

  "Oh, I don't know about all that Emjay. You seem unforgettable to me." His voice held a note of sincerity that sent chills down my arms.

  What was happening to me? I am a creature of logic and I am rational. I was raised by two lawyers who raised my sister and I to the real ways of the world. There was no Santa Clause, no Tooth Fairy and sure as shit no love at first sight.

  But, even in all the logic I could muster there was no explaining the pull to this man.

  "And, we are friends. Right?" He looks at me questioning me the same way I am him. I can feel it. Regardless though, I hated the idea of being just friends with D.

  "Friends?" I ask and it sounds as bad as I feel.

  "Well," He says and rests his tattooed arm on his knee as he sits beside me, now facing me. Leaning in close to my ear. "I can tell by the look in your eye you might need a friend."

  "As lines go, that's pathetic." I say and laugh, but he doesn’t and I am scared I might have offended him with my lame joke.

  "It's not a line though luv. I'm only here for a few more hours and we come through Friday Harbor a lot. It's nice when you know people." He shrugs and actually looks sincere.

  "I don't need another attachment to this place." I say and look out over the water.

  I look back at him and he is w
atching me closely. When he finally does speak I am scared he will question me relentlessly. What he says though, calms me. "Nobody is too good for a new friend."

  He is trying to be charming, but he isn't pulling it off and though I appreciate his not digging into my response I can't help but want to laugh. It is hard to take him serious when he looks like he would kill for cash. He had tattooed arms that I refused to look at and try to decipher. He wore jeans that were perfectly worn on purpose, a black shirt and a bandanna with crosses all over it around his head like a sweat band. There was no doubt in my mind he was some outlaw biker that would use me and lose me. Either way, for some unknown reason that only a therapist would understand, I trusted him. Implicitly.

  "Maybe I just want to feel a little freedom." I say and sip from my beer, peering at the rim of my cup from under my lashes.

  I felt calloused fingers on my shoulder and looked up into those intense eyes of this mysterious man. His eyes are amazing and easy to get lost in. They may be hazel, or green… they are gorgeous. He tucks his shoulder length hair behind his ear and smiles at me. "Look, I'm not looking to get in your panties here luv. My boy here is looking for fun, so is your friend. I just don't want to sit miserable and uncomfortable all night because you think I want pussy. I can get it anywhere, so sit with me and let's be friends. One night friends."

  I decide I can be his BFF for a night to avoid the nightmare and uncomfortable aftermath of Kyra taking his friend home.

  I roll to my hip and stretch my legs. "Bff's it is D. So tell me all about Dante."

  We talked all night until I could see the purple glow of the sun that would rise soon. He told me how he loves to sing, he loves the Comic, Punisher and he loves to draw and paint. He showed me pictures of the paintings he's done.

  Then he told me about his biggest passion. He is the Sergeant at Arms for his MC; The Knights of Thunder. I immediately went into it thinking of Jax Teller and all the crazy shit on Sons of Anarchy and he laughs. "No luv, we do charities. We just love to ride."

  "So no porn factories and drug and gun deals with the IRA?" I ask, laughing now.

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