Stonehill Series Collection, page 121
She searched his eyes as if seeking some kind of truth. He wasn’t sure if she found what she was looking for, but she leaned in and kissed him lightly. Taking his hand, she led him from the cramped dance back to their table, where she grabbed her coat from the back of her chair. Aiden helped her slide the down-stuffed material up her arms and then followed her outside.
“I think we’ve gotten old, Megumi,” he said as he draped his arm over her shoulders.
“Speak for yourself, Doctor.”
“Were you having fun?”
She grinned. “Not as much as I used to.” Stopping in front of her car, she turned and rolled her head back to see his face. “If I invite you to my place to enjoy a drink without the crowd and the noise, are you going to take that the wrong way?”
He shook his head. “Nope.”
“Are you going to expect more than just a drink?”
He shook his head again. “Nope.”
“Okay. Then you may follow me home.”
Aiden resisted the urge to give her a fist bump. Being alone with her was all he’d wanted in the first place. He ran to his SUV and reminded himself the entire drive to keep his desire for her in check. He didn’t want to push or make her feel uncomfortable. He needed to be patient and let her set the pace, even though part of him just wanted to scoop her up and take her to his house. He wanted to set her down on his threshold and tell her that’s where she belonged and that’s where he needed her to be. And that’s where she needed to stay. Right there with him.
Somehow he didn’t think she’d appreciate that kind of archaic approach. Meg was too smart and independent for that kind of thing. He’d have to bide his time until she walked into his house and said that was where she belonged. He just hoped she didn’t wait too long. They’d already wasted so much time. No, not they. He. He had wasted so much time.
At her apartment complex, he parked in the spot next to her car and jumped out of his SUV, eager to get back to her. She met him as he rounded the front of his vehicle and led him to the secure door of her apartment building. As they climbed to the second floor, he took her hand and entwined their fingers. His need to touch her grew by the minute.
The atmosphere inside her apartment grew tense as they discarded their jackets and hung them on the hooks by the door. Aiden sat on the couch and watched Meg move to the kitchen and grab two bottles from the fridge. When she sat down, she sat close enough that their knees touched. Such a basic touch shouldn’t have thrilled him like it did.
He stared at the amber-colored bottle she handed him for several long seconds before setting it on the table. “If I drink, I can’t drive, remember?”
The sly grin on her face returned. “I remember.”
Was that her subtle way of asking him to stay? He eyed her, waiting for clarification, as his heart pounded in his chest. Excitement, anticipation, fear. He didn’t know which emotion was driving the increase of adrenaline, and he didn’t care. All he knew was that no other woman had ever made his pulse race like Meg.
“I have a couch,” she whispered. “You’ve slept on it before and we both came out unscathed.”
“That was…before.”
“Before?”
“Before I kissed you. And you kissed me.”
She nodded. “Yes, but I feel quite confident that we could manage sleeping in the same apartment without crossing lines we shouldn’t cross. Unless…you find me so irresistible that you can’t be trusted.”
He considered her words for a moment before saying. “I should go.”
She didn’t argue, so he stood and took the few steps to the door.
“Don’t go,” she said.
He looked back, but she was picking at the label on her bottle.
Finally, she looked at him. “Not yet. Just stay for a little longer. I have soda if you prefer.”
His heart did a funny jump in his chest. At the same time, his stomach dropped to his feet.
“I want you to sit here and talk to me.”
“Okay.” He resumed his seat. “What would you like to talk about?”
She giggled. “I don’t know. I didn’t make a meeting agenda. If you give me a minute, I’m sure I can scribble something down.”
Aiden laughed as he leaned back. “I’d like to suggest that we discuss how I was trying to be responsible and leave.”
“You can’t be responsible if you stay?”
“It will be a hell of a lot more challenging,” he admitted.
She grinned, and the urge to kiss her almost overtook him. Damn it. She was playing with him. She was toying with him and loving it.
Aiden exhaled loudly. “Gastroenterology.”
Meg stared blankly. “What?”
“You wanted to talk. Let’s talk. Topic: gastroenterology.”
“You want to discuss digestive issues?”
“I want to discuss that I’ve been considering that I should have become a specialist instead of a general practitioner. I’ve always been fascinated with the digestive system. Now that I’m taking time to think about our future—”
“Our future?” she asked.
“I have been giving specialized medicine more thought,” he finished without acknowledging her question.
“You want to go back to school?”
“I wouldn’t have to. I just have to do a fellowship. I’m sure I could find one in the city.”
“Have you checked?”
“No,” he said, realizing that was something he probably should have done before sharing his rambling thoughts with her. “Well, not yet, I haven’t. I’m not going to be doing this right now. Not anytime soon, actually, but once I get settled I think I should narrow down my specialty.”
“Which you want to be…”
“Gastroenterology,” he stated with a confident nod.
She blinked at him several times before that slow grin spread across her face. “Aiden?”
“Hmm?”
“Am I making you nervous?”
He looked at his hands before he realized she’d asked that because he was rambling like a fool. “Maybe a little.”
“I don’t bite,” Meg said in a teasing tone.
Aiden smirked. “Really? You used to.”
She grabbed a decorative pillow from beside her and hit him with it as she laughed. He grabbed it and pulled it against his stomach. He wasn’t joking, which was what made the comment even funnier. Meg took a drink before setting the bottle on the table and sitting back. She pulled her feet up and sat with her legs crisscrossed as she faced him. She rested her head in her hand and propped her elbow against the back of the couch to hold her up.
“What was she like?”
Aiden creased his brow. “Who?”
“Whoever you dated after me?”
He thought back. “This feels like a trap.”
“It’s not. I’ve been curious about the woman who took my place when you moved.”
He sighed. “She was reckless. Inattentive. Carefree. Not even remotely interested in something long-term.”
“She was perfect for you.”
“She was there,” he clarified, “when I wanted her. And gone when I didn’t.”
“She was perfect for you.”
He chuckled. “Yeah, this definitely feels like a trap.”
“I dated this guy whose nickname was Madman,” she said with a wistful smile.
Aiden pressed his lips together so he didn’t laugh. “Madman?”
She nodded. “He was a total badass. Tattoos all up and down his arms. Long hair, full beard.”
“You’re lying,” he said.
“Nope. We met in a bar. He was impressed by how many tequila shots I could do. He said my petite body shouldn’t have been able to handle that kind of liquor. I pointed out that I’m Japanese. I have saké in my veins.”
He did laugh then. “Bullshit. You don’t even like saké.”
“Then I dated this guy that used to cry all the time. At the movies, at weddings, anywhere, anytime. He was sweet and all, but I couldn’t handle that. I dated a few other guys here and there, but as Mallory likes to point out, I sabotaged them all.”
“I can’t imagine why you’d ever want to end things with Madman,” he said with sarcastic curiosity.
She playfully glared at him before her face softened. “Because none of them were you. That’s why. I think in I knew deep down, or at least I hoped, that you’d come home some day and we’d end up here. Trying to figure out what the hell happened and if we wanted to get it back.”
“I want it back,” he said, not giving her a moment to doubt that.
She lowered her gaze, and a sense of dread knotted in his gut. Whatever she was about to say to him was not good. He hoped she wasn’t about to shoot him down, but if she did, he had to admit he deserved it. He deserved her rejection.
“I need to tell you what happened after you left.”
His fear of rejection turned into something else. The racing of his heart was no longer because of her close proximity but because the nervous energy rolling off her pierced his skin and set him on edge. “What?” he whispered.
“I don’t want you to feel like it was your fault. I think everything was coming to a head before you left, I just didn’t understand what was happening.”
He grabbed her hand. “Meg?”
“I crashed, Aiden. I mean…the bottom fell out and I fell with it. I couldn’t get out of bed. I couldn’t go to class. I couldn’t do anything. I quit going to work and paying rent. I got evicted and had to stay with a friend, but it wasn’t long before she got fed up with me sitting on her couch doing nothing. She kicked me out, so I moved in with someone else. When I met Madman, he was reckless and wild and didn’t care about anything. He was perfect for me at the time.”
Aiden’s stomach tightened so hard he could feel the acid rising. “Depression?”
She nodded. “I answered an ad for some college girl looking for a roommate. That’s how I met Mallory. She saw what I was going through. She recognized it and started pushing me to talk to her.” Meg grinned. “Man, I trashed you so much. My life had fallen apart, and I blamed you. My parents blamed you. Everyone blamed you because I was Megumi Tanaka, brilliant and focused and studious. Until I wasn’t. And that happened right after you left, so it was easy to pin it on you.”
“I should have seen it,” he whispered.
Meg shook her head hard. “No. Aiden, I didn’t even see it.”
He clung to her hands. “But I should have. Hell, maybe I did.” The admission hit him hard. He’d always assumed her quiet, introverted nature was just how she was. “You used to work so hard at school, and then sometimes you’d just stay home night after night, and I justified it as you needing to recharge.”
“I did. I still do. I push myself to keep going. I’m on antidepressants, and some days I still struggle to get out of bed, but now that I know, it’s a bit easier to fight the demons that try to keep me down.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “It explains a lot, you know. Why I could never stand up to my parents. Why it was so much easier to just get walked over by everyone instead of standing up for myself.”
“Everyone including me.” That familiar feeling of guilt and shame returned. “I’m sorry, Meg.”
“You don’t need to be.”
“Mallory saw it. She got you the help that you needed. It should have been me, but I was too blind, too self-centered.”
Meg tightened her hold on his hands. “I think it was a frog in boiling water situation, Aiden. You didn’t see it because you watched it slowly build. Mallory saw it because by the time she met me, I was completely unraveling. She couldn’t ignore what was happening because when she walked into my life, it was already a disaster.”
“Are you in therapy?”
“Not anymore. I’ve learned my triggers and I try to avoid them.”
“And then I come back and shake everything up.”
She laughed, but he saw the sudden sheen of tears in her eyes. “That was…unexpected.”
He used his hold on her hands to pull her to him. She practically rolled across the couch and into his lap. Hugging her tight, he wished he could go back and make things right. Make everything right, including seeing what he’d been too immature to see. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m going to do better this time. I swear.”
Just like she’d done a thousand times in the past, Meg curled against him. The meaning was different now. Years ago, he thought she was a bit too clingy at times. Now he felt the need to protect her and heal the wounds he couldn’t see. He bundled her up, kissed her head, and vowed to never let her feel alone again.
Chapter 14
Aiden looked at the little Valentine’s Day gift box he was planning to give Meg. The silver bracelet wasn’t fancy, but he thought it was enough to let her know that he was serious about starting over with her. He just had to decide when to give it to her. When he picked her up? Over dinner? When he took her home? He couldn’t quite decide the proper etiquette for giving his not-quite-girlfriend a present.
He put potatoes in the oven to bake and set the table for two. He set the box on her plate. Then removed it. Then put it back. Standing back, he stared at it, started to remove it again, and then laughed at himself, debating if that was the best way to give her the gift he’d selected for her. He was still having that internal debate when she called out to him.
“In here,” he answered.
She smiled at him as she appeared from the entryway. His desire for her intensified. She’d worn a short flowy dress and heels that, despite being sexy as hell, seemed like a serious hazard. One wrong move, and he’d be taking her in to have her ankle X-rayed. He wasn’t going to complain, though. She looked amazing.
“I thought you made reservations,” she said as he moved into the kitchen.
He dropped two steaks on the preheated pan. They sizzled and the scent of his marinade instantly wafted through the air. “I reserved this night for you. That’s the same thing. Kind of.”
She bit her lip. “Aiden?”
Suddenly, his grand gesture seemed wrong. She didn’t seem as excited as he had hoped. “I wanted to be alone with you. All the restaurants are going to be bustling and loud. I didn’t want that. Are you mad?” he asked, hearing the uncertainty in his voice.
Her smile grew as she shook her head. The tenderness in her eyes answered for her, but she said, “No. This is probably the sweetest thing you’ve ever done. It’s wonderful.”
Relief rolled through him. “Maybe not the sweetest thing. But probably in the top ten. I stopped at the store on the way home and grabbed steaks, potatoes, and a bagged salad. Sound good?”
Rounding the counter, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “It’s perfect.”
“I hope so.”
She kissed him lightly. “What can I do to help?”
“Pour the wine.”
She grabbed the bottle of cabernet sauvignon and filled the two glasses sitting next to it. He couldn’t help but watch the way her lips caressed the glass and her tongue darted over her lips. Damn it. He was in so much trouble with this woman. The good kind of trouble. The kind of trouble he’d been scared of the last time they were together but was happy to embrace now.
“Very nice,” she said after taking a sip.
He was about to agree before he realized she meant the wine. He smiled, more because he was so amused with his inability to think straight when Meg was so close to him. “You like that?”
She held her glass to him to let him have a sip, but he ignored her offering and slid his arm around her waist to pull her to him. He placed a light kiss on her lips and sighed with contentment.
“Delicious,” he whispered.
Meg giggled, and the sound rolled through him.
“What else can I do?” she asked, looking around.
“Give me more of those.”
Meg easily slid into his arms as he kissed her. Their kiss excited him in a way that convinced him there could be a lot more of that going on before the night ended. Her hair was swept into a loose bun, as if to deliberately tempt him to release the single clip holding it in place. The way she leaned into him made him think she had the exact same hopes for their evening.
Lust was in the air, and not just his. But before things got too heated between them, he had dinner to finish cooking. “Medium on the steak, right?”
“Yes, please. Want me to serve the salad?”
Aiden grinned at her, feeling a little shy. As soon as she walked to the table, she’d see the white box with the red ribbon sitting on her plate. “Um, yeah. If you don’t mind.”
She got out two bowls from the cabinet and filled them with bagged salad and then looked at the dressing options he had bought. “You know me too well. This herb and garlic infused oil is perfect.”
He was pleased he’d gotten the right thing. “I admit that I had to think about that for a few minutes. I couldn’t quite remember which was your favorite.”
“This is perfect.” She closed the fridge and tore the bag open.
His anticipation grew as she filled the bowls and carried them, along with the bottle of dressing, to the table. He knew the moment she saw the box; she slowed her stride and looked back at him.
“Aiden,” she said with a sweet little coo. “I didn’t think we were doing presents. I didn’t get you anything.” She put the bowls and dressing on the table. Picking up the box, she turned and pouted. “I feel bad.”
“No…” He crossed the kitchen to her. “Do not feel bad. I wasn’t expecting anything. I got this for you because I wanted to.”
She gave him a soft smile, but then it spread. “Can I open it?” she whispered.
“Please do. I’ve been so anxious about this all day.”
Meg put her fingertips to his cheek and kissed him softly. “Don’t be anxious. Whatever it is, I’m sure it’s wonderful.”
“Only one way to know,” he said.
She plucked the ribbon free and then eased the top off. He watched her face, taking in her reaction as she moved the thin paper aside and exposed a silver bracelet with a little heart-shaped charm.
