If love were by design, p.24

If Love Were By Design, page 24


If Love Were By Design

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  “I promised you that I would soon. I have to think of how.” He said.

  “I don’t want a huge production. Pick a date and ask me so we can do this already!” She said.

  “Okay, now I know you’re not serious.” He said, exasperated and irritated. She protested saying she was. “Let’s drop this, and go to the mall. I’m betting you have Christmas shopping to do.”

  Veronica took a deep breath. “Fine. Let’s go. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, anyway. You won’t budge. You’re the most stubborn person in the world.” She snapped.

  “I can think of another.” He said, smiling.

  She rolled her eyes playfully and agreed with him. They called a truce and he changed the subject saying, “Nora and girls are in Texas, spending Christmas with my parents. I thought we could have Christmas at my place. We could bring Hope over for a few days until they get back.”

  “When do they get back?” She asked.

  “After New Year’s Day. She isn’t sure when.” He said.

  “Oh, and they’re down there now?” She asked.

  “They left this last weekend. I told you, but you were working. I guess you didn’t hear me. Anyway, do you want to come over to my condo, or stay here for Christmas?” He asked.

  “I’d love to spend Christmas at your place.” She said. “I haven’t had time to decorate. I imagine Nora did that with the girls.”

  “She did, and it looks very festive.” He smiled. “So, what are you getting Kimmy?”

  “A purse of some kind. She’s in love with purses.” Veronica said. “What are you getting me?”

  “I already got it, and I’m not telling you. But it’s not a cat, so don’t get your hopes up.” He teased her. “Let’s go.”


  “Morning! Merry Christmas, Veronica.” William kissed to waken her. She slowly opened her eyes, stretched, and yawned.

  She stifled a yawn. She bolted upright, instantly awake when she realized what day it was. “Merry Christmas! Where’s Hope?”

  “I don’t know.” He said. “Not on my pillow. But I put her new toy under the tree last night. I almost forgot. You were asleep or I would have done it with you. Do you want me to wake you next time?” She nodded.

  “I want to get her and open it.” She said and started to get out of bed.

  William pressed her back into the bed with a passionate kiss. “Nice red PJ’s—very Christmassy. And a turn on.”

  “Thanks, my boyfriend bought them; he wants me to have more cleavage–showing clothes.” She said and laughed. She watched him untie the string that held fabric over her breasts.

  “I didn’t say that.” He smiled.

  “You didn’t have to. I see my bellybutton when I look down. I got the point.” She grinned.

  “Speaking of your bellybutton.” He lifted her shirt, and gave her a raspberry. She screamed out loud and pushed him off her. He let her push him away, and picked up two perfectly–wrapped gifts. One she recognized because she wrapped it herself. “Here!” He said, and gave Veronica her gift. “Merry Christmas.”

  Her heart fluttered quickly. She had thought about this moment even before they officially started dating. Now that she was holding a small box in her hand she could hardly breathe. It was the perfect way to give it to her. He didn’t make a big deal of it, but romantically surprised her so there wasn’t any pressure. She bit a smile and tore into it. All she could think about was how much she loved him. She was ready! It was exactly what she wanted, and there was nothing scary about the idea of being engaged to him. She glanced at him seeing his eyes flash of excitement. She giggled. In seconds the paper littered the floor. Then with shaking fingers, she opened the box. She squealed with excitement, and then her smile twitched. Inside was an impressive heart shaped necklace, but no ring. Her heart sank like a heavy stone.

  Thankfully William didn’t notice. He had his gift unwrapped in seconds, and already open. He laughed, and then stared. He was looking at the sketch she had drawn of his one–of–a–kind shoes. She noticed he had kept it and took it. She autographed it before having it professionally framed with a brass plaque that read: “If Love Were By Design.” After all, it was that sketch that got them spending time together. “Veronica.” He looked at her, “You’re the most romantic person in the world. This is the most thoughtful gift. I love it! I love you!” He swooped down to kiss her. “I love you so much.” Veronica kissed him back. She tried not to feel the bitter sting of not getting a ring. It was all she could do to close her eyes, kiss him, and not cry. She felt rejected, and it hurt. He threw his arms around her, and told her he loved her again. If she spoke she knew she would cry, but not saying it wasn’t an option, either. She said it shakily.

  He stopped kissing her, and his previous excitement vanished. He pushed himself up enough to look at her and then his smile fell. “You hate what I got you.”

  “No. I love it!” She said, but her lip quivered.

  “So, you’re happy?” He asked her, sounding confused and unsure.

  “Yeah.” She said.

  “Okay.” He said slowly. “Should we turn on the parade, and start making the turkey? Or have Hope play with her new toy?”

  “Sure.” She said. He kissed her, got up, and then asked her which one she wanted to do first. “I’m going to take a nap.” It was her excuse so she could be alone. She pulled the covers up over her, pinched her eyes closed, and despite trying not to, she began to cry. She hoped he would leave the room, but he didn’t.

  It didn’t take him more than a few seconds to say, “Babe! You’re crying.”

  “No.” She lied.

  “You’re a terrible liar. You feel too strongly to lie convincingly. Come here.” He softly uttered. He pulled back the covers, crawled into the bed, and then tried to roll her over to face him. She resisted. “What’s wrong? Did you hate what I got you? Is it too big? Is it the newspaper articles again, and you’re worried what people will say, because I can get you something smaller?” His question only made her cry more. “I didn’t know you were this upset about it.”

  “William.” She took a deep breath. “I . . . I don’t want to fight, but I don’t want the jewelry.” She didn’t want it if it wasn’t a wedding ring.

  “Why?” He asked sounding hurt. “I’ll get you something smaller!”

  “Be honest with me. Do you really love me? Or do you like us being together because it makes sense?” She asked. “I mean we’re both designers. We get along . . . .”

  “Babe, of course I love you, and want to be with you.” He interrupted her. He wiped her tears and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Where is this coming from?”

  “I’m starting to think you don’t love me! Not enough to marry me, anyway!” She said.

  “You thought I was going to give you a ring . . . you wanted me to ask . . . you were serious about not being afraid . . . .” He was silent for a moment as he wiped another tear from her cheek. “I’m sorry.” He apologized, kissed her tenderly, and then slipped out of the bed before leaving the room.

  It only made her cry harder. She rolled over onto her stomach and buried her face in his pillow. Her heart hurt. She didn’t know what to think about him apologizing and then leaving the room. But at least he finally left her alone so she could cry it out of her system. If he wasn’t ready to ask her to marry him, like she had suspected, then he was being sensible. She couldn’t blame him. He shouldn’t be apologizing for being smart and not wanting to jump into an engagement. He was right not to. Eight months isn’t long enough. If anyone should apologize it should be her. She had to try to forget about it, shut up, and wait. Everyone hated pressure. She of all people knew pressure killed any kind of joy. What was she thinking believing he would want to marry her after such a short time?

  She heard him come back into the room, and then felt him lay back in the bed. She didn’t want him to apologize before her, so she quickly said, “I’m sorry. I’m crazy.”

; “I can’t understand you; you’re mumbling into the pillow.” He said. He rolled her toward him. “Come here.” Embarrassed, she cried into her hands, but she let him pull her hands away. “Babe.” He paused, “Babe! Don’t cry. I’m an idiot! Open your eyes, Veronica. Look at me.”

  “No, I’m embarrassed.” She quickly added, “I’m being an overly emotional girl. Of course, you don’t want to marry me. It’s too soon. I get that. I’m the idiot for . . .”

  “Please, don’t.” He said. “I honestly didn’t think you wanted me to propose.”

  “I’m crazy! I’m worse than Aurora.” She said.

  “Don’t bring her up.” He said quickly.

  “I told you, I’m obsessive. I want to be alone for a few minutes and then we can pretend I never said anything. I’m over it. I don’t actually want to marry you so soon.” She tried not to cry as he wiped away her tears. They were managing to fall from her closed eyes in a steady stream.

  “Oh, good, right I can tell.” He said. There was a smile in his voice. He added, “I love you.”

  “I obviously love you, too.” She said.

  “I know. It’s sweet.” He said.

  “Please, don’t tease me! I’m already embarrassed enough!” She snapped. She opened her eyes so she could glare at him, but when she did, she saw a closed box on the pillow between them.

  He wiped away another tear. Then he glanced at the box as an invitation for her to open it. She smiled, laughed, cried, laughed again and then told him she loved him. “I was going to ask you on Valentine’s Day. I still will! I thought I needed to wait until then. I’m so scared of scaring you half the time . . . ,” he added, “But I do want to marry you. I want you to be my fiancée. More than anything.”

  She jumped on him. Flung her arms around his neck and she straddled him as she kissed him. She held his face with her hands as she opened her mouth and slowly entered to lick his tongue. Then he sucked on her bottom lip. She moaned. He broke the kiss long enough to say, “Are you going to look at the ring?”

  “It’s my sports car! What else do I need to know?” She laughed. “I would much rather make love to my fiancé.”

  He laughed. “One second.” He took the box, opened it, and then put the ring on her finger. “It’s not a sports car. It’s a couple of them.”

  “William! It’s a heart!” She giggled excitedly. “I love it! I love you!” She looked at it again to say she loved it.

  “It goes with your necklace.” He explained. “I got them at the same time.”

  “I love it!” She said.

  “I love you!” He said.

  “You know, I love you, too!” She said.

  He made a joke about her being off the market. They laughed, but the moment he stopped he was suddenly serious. He swallowed, looked into her eyes, and as if the sight of her readiness excited him he whispered, “I want to make love to you. But will you lie to me if it hurts?” He paused. “Ask me to finish and I’ll know, but don’t say it.” She promised. He continued to look into her eyes. His breathing quickened. He flashed a small seductive smile, and a moment later he began undressing them both. “It’s insane how much I want this.” He said. He lay his naked body over hers and then kissed her neck.

  He kissed a trail down her throat and chest. The months of foreplay were more than either could bear. They were both quick to need each other. By the time he reached the swell of her breast with wet kisses, she could feel his erection. He was pumping his hips to rub the outside of her. She moaned softly with each exhale and with each rock of his hips. He felt so good. She was growing more impatient by the second. It wasn’t enough. She wanted him inside of her. She arched her back pressing her breast upward, and into his mouth. He took it. She shivered, and moaned loudly by the wet touch of his tongue. He rolled her nipple with his tongue.

  “Please, William. You’re torturing me. Make love to me.” She pleaded in a lustful whine.

  She felt his shaft press against her and she begged him to be inside of her. She gasped when he entered her. “Veronica.” He said, and looked in her eyes. “Babe.” He searched her face trying to see if she was in pain. She smiled.

  “Please!” She said while inhaling.

  He pressed into her slowly, as he rocked her. “You feel so good.” He whispered. He had to close his eyes and calm down. A moment later he asked her if it hurt.

  “No. I promise.” She assured him, surprised he was right about it not hurting if they eased their way into making love the first time. “Please!” She begged, asking him to move again.

  He smiled. His hips pressed forward. She could feel him slide deeper yet, and the sensation of him separating her was felt down to her toes. He touched the deepest part of her. She moaned and inhaled sharply. “Look at me.” He whispered to her. He wanted all of her, even her attention. She looked into his eyes. He smiled and they held eye contact as they made love. He held her hand, and squeezed it tight as if letting go of her hand would mean he lost her eye contact as well. He wanted both. Possessively he held it even tighter.

  He told her he loved her and wrapped his other arm around her so her head rest on it. She felt a pleasurable tremor each time he tapped deep inside of her. Nothing ever felt so good. He took his time, making love to her as long as he could. “You feel so good, Veronica.” He stopped moving, smiled and confessed, “Too good!” He momentarily let go of her hand to cup her face and kiss her. He then tucked her hair behind her ear. “I haven’t done this in a long time, and you’re . . . for the lack of a better word—tight. I’m not going to last much longer. But I could pull out and give you an orgasm before I finish making love to you.”

  “No, don’t leave me. We have all weekend to make love.” She said.

  “You’re not on birth control.” He stated.

  “No.” She concurred.

  “I can pull out when I finish.” He purposed. She shook her head and told him he didn’t have to. “Veronica!” He suddenly burst into a movement. She felt him release inside her. He squeezed her hand tightly, and moaned. Veronica inhaled and felt dangerously close to an orgasm, but then he slowed to a stop. “I’m so sorry, but I was sure you would say yes, and then when you said no . . . it turned me on.” He smiled his confession. He kissed her. “It still turns me on.” He laughed under his breath. “I can keep going.” He told her and rocked deeper into her to prove it. He kissed her and whispered in her ear. “Let me make love to you until you climax. I want to see you peak with me inside you. I’ll go until you do.”

  They watched their bodies as they made love, and the sight of it excited her; she liked him taking possession of her. Even how he pressed her hand into the bed as if he was possessively taking her, thrilled her. It pushed her into an intense arousal. Veronica closed her eyes and felt everything intensify. He felt amazing, and she told him he did. She gripped his arms when she felt herself begin to approach her climax. With each push of his rocking hips she reached closer and closer. He whispered into her ear and his words drove her to the edge. She begged him not to stop.

  She pinched her eyes tightly and inhaled quickly. Her body shivered as she peaked. He was encouraged to keep his perfect pace when she called out his name breathlessly. Her toes curled, and she felt a burst of pleasure. She screamed while gripping his arms tighter. Veronica moaned, and then slowly, very slowly, released his arms. Her toes uncurled. Suddenly she was relaxed, and sunk comfortably into the bed. She looked into William’s green eyes. She had never loved him more than she did at that moment. “I love you.” She sounded emotional. It was hard to ignore that she was emotional. She was so in love with him. Never more so than she was at that exact moment.

  “I love you so much!” He declared. He lay over her and wrapped his arms around her, and remained inside of her.

  “If I knew it was going to feel that good . . .” She said and shook her head. It was amazing. “I can’t believe we could have been doing that all along.” She added, “You’re very good at it. I don’t want to k
now where you learned how to do that so well, so don’t tell me. I’ll get jealous.” It wasn’t the first time she had noticed him being light–years ahead of her when it came to lovemaking. He knew things about sex and relationships that she knew nothing of. It was a painful sting to think he’d touched other women before like he had touched her. It was too painful to dwell on it, and she decided to leave her jealous thoughts alone.

  “I’m not a great lover.” He said.

  “You’re amazing with me.” She refuted.

  He smiled, “I’ll agree that we’re amazing together.” He added, “And when we’re more comfortable we can have fun. I want you to always tell me what you want, okay? I tell you what I want, and you tell me what you want. Then we’ll always be amazing together.”

  “Okay. I want you to go get a towel.” She said and smiled.

  He laughed. “Exactly.” He kissed her and then got up out of bed. He disappeared into the bathroom and came out with a large bath towel. “Do you want to take a shower?”

  “I need to.” She said. “Making love is,” she laughed, “messy.”

  “Uh, yeah, it is.” He said and helped her out of bed. “We’ll take a shower together, and then I’ll run to the store for condoms. There has to be some place open. You can come with if you want.”

  “I do.” She said.


  “Okay. Seriously! What’s up? Are you mad at me or something?” Kimmy asked Veronica over the phone.

  “No, Kim!” Veronica said. “Why would you even ask that?”

  “Because you have hardly talked to me this last month.” Kimmy explained. “You only return maybe half my phone calls—if that. And you keep telling me you can’t go do stuff because you’re ‘busy’. I haven’t seen you since your birthday! You can’t possibly be that busy. I bet William has seen you. Hasn’t he?”

  Veronica quickly defended herself saying, “It’s not like that. I mean he’s come over, but I was so busy . . .”

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