Love Square, page 6
“You were…,” I pause to add to the anticipation, “and then I came.” I say bluntly. I want him to know the affect he has on me.
“Mmm… the thought of you coming apart for me is definitely intriguing. When did you say we can be together?”
“Almost two weeks. I can sneak away next Saturday for a few hours in the afternoon.” I cross my fingers that Saturday will work for him. It’s the only time I think I’ll have and I really don’t want to wait a whole other week to see him.
“Saturday is perfect. You could come to my condo in the city and maybe order in some takeout.”
I start to panic. I don’t think I can go to his condo. It seems too personal. Right now I’m enjoying living in a fantasy of great sex and great company. “I was thinking we could get a hotel room. I always wanted to try the Loews Madison.”
He seems a little offended when he says, “Okay, sure if you don’t want to come to my place I get it.”
“Jacob, please don’t read into this. I’m just not ready for that level of intimacy with you. Please try and be patient.”
“Of course,” he sighs into the phone. “I’d do anything for you, baby. Let’s meet up at three. Does that sound good?”
After agreeing on when to meet, we proceeded to talk for hours about anything and everything. He entertained me with details of his niece’s latest shenanigans, making him wear a feather boa and putting clips in his hair while the other one took pictures. He asked me how my book signings were going. He also admitted to reading both my books and liking them, which made me blush.
It felt effortless and natural to be talking with him. I couldn’t believe how quickly we were able to fall back into step with each other. There was no awkwardness. Even the silences felt easy and comfortable.
Deep down I feel like another person. I don’t feel like the uptight, boring Samantha Parker. I feel like the new and improved Sam Monroe. Somewhere along the way I started second guessing myself and not opening up to Aiden. Our sex life isn’t bad, but it’s not adventurous either. I know what to expect with him. He always makes sure to satisfy me, but the thrill isn’t there anymore. With Jacob, though, I can feel myself opening up like a flower – slowly but surely, more layers are being exposed and I feel liberated and self-assured. Expressing my deep desires to him doesn’t feel tawdry. Instead it feels like they have to be released. That the only way to be truly happy right now is to put myself in Jacob’s hands.
Chapter Six
The room at the Loews Madison Hotel is lush. The walls are covered with gray and white striped wallpaper. Off to the right is a gray velvet couch. Across from that is a king size bed with luxurious white and gray bedding. It’s so opulent and serene. This is the perfect setting to put my nerves at ease.
There was no way I could have gone to Jacob’s condo for this. I needed neutral territory to keep things in perspective. I can’t risk feeling anything more for him than strong sexual desires. The man puts my stomach in knots and makes me hotter than I’ve been in a long time. I keep telling myself that this is just about scratching an itch, but the way I’ve been consumed with him lately is starting to prove me wrong.
The last two weeks have been wonderful. Jacob and I have spoken or texted every day. We’ve really gotten a chance to get to know each other better. Flying back last night, I was excited that the time had finally come for us to consummate this new found thing between us.
When I got home Aiden was lying on the big, white sectional in the family room watching baseball. I sat down to watch a few innings with him but there was no closeness there. It was like we were just old buds sitting around enjoying the game, not husband and wife. After not seeing me for two weeks, you’d think he would have been more excited to see me. The fact that he was aloof and distant makes it hard to feel guilty about what I’ve been doing. Jacob makes me feel sexy and important. If you get beaten down enough, you’ll start to look other places to feel good again. Granted an affair is not exactly moral high ground, but I could be out doing drugs or drinking all the time looking to escape my despair. Although, I can’t deny that Jacob could be considered another form of addiction.
I text Jacob the room number before walking into the all-white marble bathroom that has what I’m sure is a luxurious soaking tub. Too bad soaking is not why I came here today. Digging through my Frederick’s of Hollywood bag, I get out the items I bought on my way into D.C. Aiden never cared if I wore lingerie. In the beginning of our relationship, I put a lot of effort into wearing stuff that I knew would make his heart race and his dick hard. After I while, I stopped trying so hard, all he ultimately wanted was me naked anyhow. It just made more sense to get to the final product sooner.
I make quick work of taking off my clothes and fastening up the red halter corset with attached garter. It’s a jacquard print accented with Venice lace and has a matching red thong. I complete what I hope is an irresistible, sexy look with black nylons and black stilettoes. This is essentially the outfit I described to him when we first started emailing each other. I hope I look as good as he imagined I would.
Staring at myself in the bathroom mirror, I start to feel a panic attack coming on. I’m beginning to hyperventilate and can’t believe I’m really about to do this. If I allow myself to over think this, I’m most definitely going to lose my nerve. Texting and emailing is one thing, but once Jacob walks through that door I am officially a cheater. There’s no way to rationalize my behavior once the deed is done.
I find myself rationalizing now, though. I wouldn’t be doing this with just anyone. As long as Jacob was around, I have always wanted him. I’m drawn to him like a moth to flame. Somewhere in the back of mind I’ve often wondered “what if.” Now is my chance to pursue that “what if” – if I’m being completely honest with myself. Continually feeding myself a line of bullshit about keeping things completely sexual is my way of hiding the fact that I secretly wish Jacob would ride in and sweep me off my feet. I know leaving Aiden should have been first on my agenda, but I got caught up in the excitement of being with Jacob and am still not ready to make that big of a decision yet.
Just as I get my breathing in check and start to calm down, there’s a knock on the door. I move slowly, hoping to psyche myself up and take a deep breath before opening the door, placing my hand over my stomach to try and calm the butterflies there. Once the door is open, I do my most provocative pose. Right arm stretched up the length of the door and hip subtly cocked out. “I’m ready for my interview officer”, I purr.
He visibly swallows and his gaze rakes over me, starting at my face and slowly moving down to my feet and then back up. The smile on his face is full of lust and his eyes sparkle with excitement. I take this moment to study him myself. He’s wearing faded jeans that sit on his hips just right and his black t-shirt is tight, showcasing the spoils of his well spent time at the gym. His hair is tousled and I just want to run my fingers through it and pull him to me.
Before I can say anything else he pounces, pushing me up against the wall. His mouth crashes down on mine and the kiss he delivers is hard and demanding. We’re both breathless when he finally pulls away. “Damn. What you do to me, Sam. Are you sure you want to go through with this? Because once I start, I won’t be able to stop. Not with you looking this damn sexy.”
Damn sexy? He just called me damn sexy! It’s been so long since I felt that way. But I don’t want to talk. That’s not what this is about. This is about feeling wanted and anything other than lost and miserable. I don’t want to be able to think about the consequences of my actions.
I murmur yes against his lips before pressing mine back to his. I suck his bottom lip into my mouth and it’s like unleashing a beast. All of the sexual tension that has been building between us has officially snapped. Jacob takes the kiss deeper and runs his hands down my sides, over my bare ass. He slips a finger under the tiny scrap of fabric of my thong and through my slick folds.
“So wet,” he murmurs his approval. “Are you always this wet, baby, or is it just for me?” Oh god. It’s been so long, I feel a climax already starting to build as he spreads my wetness. A whimper escapes my lips as he circles my clit and all I can do is nod. It feels way too good.
He picks me up and lays me down on the bed. Before joining me on the bed, he reaches over his head and pulls his t-shirt off in the sexy way that guys do so well. As his weight settles over me, I can feel the heat radiating off him. His hard body pressed against my soft body is driving me insane. Judging from the rather large bulge pressed to my thigh, I’d say he’s excited to see me as well. A giggle threatens to escape at the thought that I can do this to him even after all this time.
I run my fingers down his chest and over his six-pack, stopping at the button on his jeans. The grin on his face turns into a full blown smile at the promise of what’s coming next. Reaching in, my hand grips his thick, hard cock and starts to pump up and down its length. He’s slightly thicker than Aiden and I can’t wait for him to be inside me. His eyes roll in the back of his head at the contact and his breath starts coming out in pants. He grabs my hands and pins them down over my head, effectively stopping my ministrations. “Not yet, baby. This will be over way sooner than I’d like if you keep doing that. I want to undress you first and see if you still make those sexy little moans you used to make right before you come.” Well then. Who am I to complain about that?
He kisses first my forehead, then each eyelid, down my cheek to my jaw. His kisses are hot, wet and loving. Loving? No. I must be thinking way too much about this. There’s no way he feels that way about me. This is just about sex – plain and simple. Shaking off those thoughts, I decide its best to focus on what his lips are doing. And what they’re doing should be illegal. His tongue runs across my collarbone, over the curve at the top of my breasts. He runs a finger under each side of the corset, baring my breasts so that the corset pushes them up and displays them for him.
His tongue circles first my right nipple, then my left. They pucker even tighter and he takes turns sucking them deeply into his mouth. It’s like an electric current straight to my pussy. “Your pretty, pink tits are perfect. I could suck them all day.”
I’m not sure I can get any wetter at this point. I’m squirming underneath him with need. We really have to get this show on the road. I’m not sure I can stand much more foreplay.
Finally, he releases my breasts and removes my corset before kissing his way down my body. He hooks his fingers in each side of my panties and slides them down my legs. There’s a momentary pause while he stares down at my bare pussy he just revealed. But it’s only momentary because then his tongue licks along my slit and I’m lost in the sensations. Completely and utterly lost to the feel of his hands spreading me open, his hair brushing against my skin, his tongue in me, and his mouth sucking me. I feel like a bomb ready to explode.
My head falls back onto the bed and I scream, “Oh God! Jake! Jake, please!”
I’m not even sure what I’m begging for at this point, for him to fuck me? For him to continue what he’s doing? This is absolutely glorious. His mouth continues to work my clit as he inserts two fingers into my pussy. I grab his hair and hold him to me. I’m not going to last much longer. He groans as my fingers twist tightly in his hair and next thing I know I’m coming harder than I ever have before.
My body slowly stops shaking and convulsing while his fingers wring out the last of my orgasm. I open my eyes to see him smiling and crawling back up my body. “Jacob, please. I need to feel you inside me,” I beg as I push his jeans and boxers the rest of the way down his body. He really does have a magnificent body.
Our tongues tangle in a sensual kiss full of naughty promises. He’s fucking my mouth with his tongue and taking complete possession of my body. He breaks away panting, resting his forehead against mine as he positions himself and slowly slides into me. My legs fall further apart to accommodate him. I feel so full, it’s the most delicious feeling. His moan of pleasure gives me a mini-aftershock-orgasm. He stares into my eyes as he slowly rocks in and out of me. I can feel every inch of him, but it’s not enough.
“Faster. I need it faster,” I plead with him.
His pace picks up. Each time he plunges into me, my body is jolted with sensation. That familiar knot starts to coil deep in my stomach. I can’t believe I’m going to come again so quickly. He laces our fingers above my body so that there is barely an inch of space between us and continues to give me what I so desperately need.
His rhythm becomes a little ragged and I know he’s getting close. I close my eyes and wrap my legs around his waist so he’s even deeper. God, I didn’t think it could possibly feel any better, but it does.
“I need you to come with me, baby. Give it to me. It’s all mine,” he growls at me and reaches down between us to put pressure on my clit, making me explode into a thousand pieces. I’m vaguely aware when he pushes into me one, two, three more times before finding his own release.
His body settles fully on me while we both struggle to calm our sex-ravaged bodies. My hands drift up and down his back, while a hum of contentment escapes from my throat.
Once our breathing settles, he rolls off me and pulls me over so my head is on his chest and my arm is around his stomach. He lazily draws patterns on my hip with his index finger.
After what feels like forever, he softly kisses my head and whispers, “That was amazing, Sam. It was everything I hoped it would be. I want you to know I would have waited another sixteen years to be able to feel that with you again.” His words are almost my undoing, but my body is so sated and his finger is lulling me into sleep. I decide to let it go for now, and drift off into slumber.
*****
I awake and slowly blink the sleep out of my eyes. The sun is fading, casting dark shadows in the room. I turn my head to see I’m alone in the bed. Lying on my stomach, staring non-seeing into the room, I remember how exquisitely fucked I was just a few hours ago.
The feel of his hard body over mine and his cock moving in and out of me, the sweat dripping off him as we both came. I feel myself getting turned on all over again, and he isn’t even here touching me. Then I remember his muted words spoken right before I fell asleep.
I want you to know I would have waited another sixteen years to be able to feel that with you again.
I’m finding it hard to believe that Jacob could rescue me from the prison I’ve put myself in over the years, living the life of someone other than whom I feel I should be. Even if that is my true wish, wishes don’t always come true.
The hotel room door opens and Jacob walks in carrying a couple bottles of water from a vending machine, setting them on a side table. He looks yummy as he walks to the bed with a wide smile on his face. Sitting next to me on the edge of the bed, he bends down and kisses my shoulder and then down my naked spine, stopping where the sheet lies just above my ass.
“Hey, sleepyhead,” he murmurs in between those drugging kisses. My legs start to stir beneath the sheet and I’m tempted to take another ride before I have to leave.
“Hey. If you keep doing that, you’re not going to be able to stop me from having my wicked way with you again and I need to leave soon.” I sigh with frustration.
“Maybe that’s exactly what I want.” Running a finger up and down my spine, he stretches out next to me.
“I’m sure it is, but I have stuff to get done before I’m back on the road in a few days. I warned you I didn’t have much time, but I would do my best to make this work,” I reply, trying to fight the affect his touch is having on my willpower.
“It feels like I just got you back, and now you have to go away again. I’d much rather see your beautiful face, instead of dreaming of it. Will you have time to sneak away again before you fly out?”
“I’m not sure. We’ll have to play it by ear. I don’t know how much I have to give you, Jacob. And I’m not just talking about my time either. I’ve been going down this lonely path for a while now and I’m not sure where it’s left me. Regardless of what we did today, I am still a married woman with commitments and responsibilities.” I hate bringing up this fact, but I need the reminder out there that this isn’t a fairytale. Its real life, and its messy.
He leans over and thoroughly kisses me before murmuring, “I know. And I’ll take whatever I can get with you. It’s better than having none of you.”
With that parting blow, he kisses me one last time, grabs his keys and heads out. “Text me later, baby. I’ll be waiting.”
I sure hope I know what I’m doing, because it feels as though things are going to get extremely complicated.
*****
The rest of the weekend was uneventful. Aiden and I continued to dance around each other. He did kiss me goodbye as I was leaving to go to the airport though. I was a little shocked at his affection considering he barely paid attention to me after I got home the other night. He didn’t even greet me with a kiss.
I tried to find time to see Jacob again but it just wasn’t possible, which makes my leaving right now suck even more. Being with him felt incredible and I still can’t understand how something so wrong could feel so unbelievably right. I have to be careful though. I can easily see myself falling for him and that just can’t happen while I’m still tied to Aiden. Regardless of how he treats me, I still love him. I just wish I understood what went wrong.
Boarding the plane, I get a text from Jacob telling me to have a safe flight. He is so attentive. It makes me feel so good inside. I really do wonder if I would have been reduced to a pile of mush at his feet had my marriage been in a better place though. I mentally shake those thoughts from my head before they can get the better of me. I text him back a thank you with an XO, shut my phone off and put it in my purse before turning towards Michelle, who decided to grace me with her presence on this trip.
“I’m really not sure why you decided New York was the state you wanted to tour with me. It doesn’t seem very noteworthy compared to some of the other places I’m booked for, especially Vegas.” I love teasing her even though I’m grateful for her always supporting me.
