Haven house, p.16
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Haven House, page 16

 

Haven House
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  “The other girls thought her haughty, and she was dismissive of them, though I believe she was simply wary. It took time. We talked as I cleaned her suite, and we became friendly. Junior had just returned from several days away, and he was bombastic, full of his self-importance. Crueller than he’d been before, though, and he demanded her attendance at the meal. She refused.”

  I rubbed my brow, trying to squeeze everything from the memory, give him what he needed for the safety of the five children sheltering upstairs.

  “After the meal, he went up there, to the consort’s suite, which was hers. They fought. It was loud. Then she screamed.” My guts curled and quivered with remembered terror, those sounds shredding my nerves again as I reheard the shrieks. I looked at Nobel. “Then there was silence.”

  He paled.

  “Junior found me, demanded I clean immediately. It wasn’t straight after. Some time had passed, but there was blood. So much. It covered the floors, the bed, and even the ceiling. I scrubbed until my hands bled. The bedding was incinerated. Junior left soon after. When he returned the next morning, it was like nothing had occurred. He had her things sent to the attics and took a new wife. He moved her into the consort’s suite next to Master’s, and no one questioned it. That’s how it was in Haven House.”

  Hot tears burned my cheeks, but I watched the man opposite me. His bottom lip quivered. “I give my word. Find my daughter, and you will have my support and friendship.” Nobel stood. “I will return to my ship but will contact you in the morning.”

  He turned and left the room, his guards following, but I was frozen in place. The horror of what I’d seen, heard, and been forced to do was unwilling to be banished.

  Damien squatted beside me. “You did what you had to do to survive, Ammy.”

  I nodded. “Yes.”

  He sighed. “You should come and eat.”

  The thought of food soured my stomach. “No. I wish to bathe and go to bed.” I was exhausted. Emotionally wrung out, and with nothing more to give, I rose. “Goodnight.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I heard the door open, knew Damien came to me, but I lay still, gaze on the open window, welcoming the breeze because it dried the tears on my cheeks.

  “I know you’re awake.” The bed moved beneath me as he settled behind me.

  “I couldn’t face food or anyone, Damien. It was horrible, and remembering… Each time, I see and hear more. The scents and sounds.”

  He gently touched my shoulder. “I can’t share that burden with you, much as I’d take it on, Ammy.”

  I turned. “Eldora and the others were pawns. Just like I was. Dispensable and disposable.”

  “Yes.”

  “We have to find Junior and Master. Make them pay for their sins. Find Eldora, or her remains, and send them back.” My mind whirled. “We have to go back to Haven.”

  “Yes.”

  “The children…” I didn’t want to take them back. There was nothing but terrible memories and hardship there for them. Nothing for me either. I’d pledged myself to Damien, and his home was not there. Deep inside me, I felt encased in ice, fragile and off balance.

  “We’ll leave them here, with guards. I should ask Adam Nobel to post some as well. They’ll be safer here. Far enough away that it will be far too difficult for the others to track them down. Junior and Master don’t have the funds, and now the connections are drying up too.”

  If only sloughing off my fear was that simple. I needed a connection to remind me I was still alive, untainted by Haven and everything that had happened in my life. “Will you love me, Damien?”

  “I’m not sure that’s what you need,” he said, and the well of anguish inside me changed into a flaming-hot mass of fury.

  “I know what I want. You.” I tugged the sheet away and threw myself from the bed, the nightgown my only covering. In my anger, I tore it, gripping the cloth so it pulled taut, then shredding the material down the centre. “I won’t beg, Damien,” I growled and advanced.

  His gaze narrowed. “I will not treat you as an object, Ammy.”

  “No,” I spat, “just withhold what I ask for. What I need.”

  He waited in silence as I moved forward, and I bared my teeth in a facsimile of a smile. “I’m here. Available. Naked. Take me.”

  His eyes jerked down and back up. “Yes, you’re naked and beautiful. But you’re also upset and—”

  “Don’t tell me what I am!” I shrieked.

  He reached out and grabbed me, hauled me close as tears stung my eyes.

  I railed and battered at him, my hands crashing against his back again and again. A furious rage engulfed me.

  Damien held me until the emotions buffeting me bled away, and I slumped and sobbed in his embrace. “Why? Why did they do that to us? Use us? Sell us? Make us into nothing?”

  “I don’t know,” he muttered. “But for all that, you made yourself into a courageous woman. Someone who cares and feels. Willing to take on children who aren’t yours and protect them like a tigress.”

  I dug my fingers into his shirt and down to the flesh. I held on, needing him like a ship needed a rudder. “I don’t want to remember.”

  “I know, Ammy. I’d take those memories if I could. I’d spare you the pain, but I can’t.”

  “Is that why you won’t love me?” I whispered.

  His brow settled against mine. “No. I won’t take advantage of you. You’re struggling, and I… I love you far too much to cheapen what’s between us. I’ll hold you tonight, if you wish. But I need to talk to you.”

  My gut clenched. I’d almost forgotten that he’d said we needed to talk. I looked down at my ruined gown and hauled it close around me. “I’m sorry. Let me change and—”

  He stopped my words with a soft kiss. “No. Not that. Stay. Back under the covers and I’ll explain.”

  “But my gown…” I bit my lip as a single tear escaped my lids.

  “Take it off. Then under the covers.”

  I crawled under, and he tucked me in like a child. It felt odd to realise we’d been intimate so few times, yet I was unconcerned about my nudity with him. I’d have to reflect on that later, when my brain was capable of coherent thought.

  “My people have been in touch. They think they know where Junior is. Master has returned to Haven. Going back presents its challenges, though I agree it’s where we need to go next. We need to find Eldora, but we also need to interrogate Master, see what he knows.”

  “That’s what you had to tell me?” I turned, shocked that it wasn’t some big, bad, terrible thing.

  “Yes… and no. They broke the perimeter barricade at the house. It’s not destroyed but badly damaged. I have my people salvaging what they can, but…”

  “What, Damien?”

  “All my life, enforcement was what I wanted to do. My mother followed the path that was right for her, and I always thought that’s what I was doing too. Now I wonder. When Adam Nobel said they had enforcement officers…” He sucked in an unsteady breath.

  “Not the same as you,” I added.

  Damien nodded. “No, not the same, but still. If they’re in his pocket, they’ve trampled their oath to humanity and justice.”

  I understood his dilemma. “And?”

  “I need to contact the governor, explain what I’ve learned.”

  “Your superiors?”

  He smiled now. “I don’t have any actual superiors, Ammy. Did you look closely at my badge?”

  I shook my head.

  “I’m sheriff, yes, but more than that. The governor is who I report to. But both Andrew and I belong to a society of people who investigate and help those facing harm. We are not your average investigators. We carry all the same rights and authorities that local justice carry, but more as well. My mother was one of the first women to become members of the Extraordinary Judicial Enforcers.”

  I jerked upright. “What?”

  “We’re a covert arm of the government. My mother was recruited early because of her work as a physiotraducere. I joined once I left the rangers unit. I had the knowledge, skills, and connections after my mother’s death. Andrew joined more recently. Most of us have family members affected by violence brought upon them by those who are enhanced.”

  “You mean with replacement limbs?”

  “Yes, or eyes or any other part of themselves. Haven came to our notice through you and your brother. He was the first to work out that Haven was recruiting those with replacement limbs and amassing wives to build an army. After Eldora, we realised things were becoming unstable. It’s why I came to Haven.”

  I swiped my hand over my eyes, weighing up everything he was saying. Haven wasn’t the only place. “How many others?”

  He shook his head. “We don’t know. There aren’t enough of us to police everywhere. We go where we’re needed, though married members remain close to home.”

  “You need more. People with inside experience.” My mind played with scenarios and ideas. “I could join—”

  “No, Ammy. It’s too dangerous.” His gaze narrowed.

  “Your mother knew. Who else? Gloriana?”

  Damien winced, answering my question.

  So, Gloriana was a member, yet I wasn’t supposed to step up as well? Did he think me weak? “How do I join?” A hint of belligerence infused my question.

  “Ammy…” he growled.

  I waved an arm to stop him. “If you don’t tell me, I’ll ask Andrew or Gloriana.”

  His sigh, long and laboured, filled the air. “You have to meet the governor. He makes the determination.”

  “Fine. Then when this is settled, you’ll make the introduction.” I nestled down in the bed. “Now, come join me.”

  “Not…” Damien waved his arm.

  “No, but perhaps in the morning. When you’re feeling a little more settled.”

  The glint in his eyes took on a burning glow, but he shucked off his clothes, crawled naked into the bed, and hauled me close. “We’ll discuss this in the morning.”

  He could discuss it till the cows came home, but I’d made my decision.

  I snuggled in and closed my eyes, letting my body relax until I fell asleep.

  The twitch of something hard against my skin woke me. I turned quietly, noting that Damien was still asleep, but the poking was the result of his erection.

  I smiled.

  Sliding my hand slowly beneath the covers, I found hot skin, a smattering of hair, and firm muscles. My hand continued to move as I gloried in the feel of the man beside me. I wanted to kiss the bared flesh, but he was still asleep, so I controlled myself, though just barely. I found the deep dip of his navel, circled it, then continued my pleasurable examination until my hand found an appendage. I slid my hand down its length, steel covered with velvet with a bulbed head. His cock was ready for action, with moisture beading the tip. I swallowed my gasp as my body heated and melted in reaction.

  A sound rather like a soft grunt met my ears, and I looked up.

  “I love you, Ammy,” Damien whispered. During my short exploration, he’d woken, and I hadn’t noticed, fully engrossed in exploring his body.

  With careful moves, I straddled him. I’d heard wives talking of this form of congress, the pleasure it elicited for both members. With him, it felt right.

  My legs rested on either side of his hips as I levered up. “I…”

  He gripped my waist. “By all means,” he said, eyes hot with wolfish pleasure.

  I slid down, taking him inside me, feeling the stretching and filling.

  “Damien,” I moaned as he nudged at me.

  “Control me, Ammy.”

  And I did, rising a little, then plunging down. The friction and caress of air against my now engorged nipples, the faint hint of coolness in direct counterpoint to the heat that amassed between my thighs.

  “I love you, Damien.” My head dropped back, boneless as I rode and undulated, taking and giving, needing and urging.

  I’d been slick when I’d mounted him. Now I was wet and hot, melting and needing, and the only one who could make me whole was Damien.

  My husband.

  My lover.

  He gripped my breasts, cupping them with gentle but eager movements, plucking at the nipples. The sensation shot through me, like lightning cracking through the sky.

  The bed creaked as Damien urged our passion to fan hotter and flare brighter, and I cried out because it was beautiful and honest.

  My body wound tight until I was there, hanging on the precipice of pleasure. Then I plunged, letting myself fall into the well where my body took control.

  I knew when he’d climaxed, heard the groan of satisfaction and felt the hot spray of semen deep within. I gloried in it.

  Then I slumped down, sated and so replete.

  He wound his arms around me, holding us in that ultimate moment of oneness. He was still inside me, and I let the tears fall.

  “Ammy? Did I hurt you?” His voice was thick with fear. Tension hardened his muscles, and he shoved at me.

  I held on, needing him to stay where he was for a moment or two longer, unwilling to release him from the carnal embrace. “No. But it was beautiful. Like the perfection of the world is here, between us. No one else could possibly feel such pleasure,” I whispered, trying to explain, though it was clumsy.

  Damien relaxed once more. “Perfection is always you,” he whispered as we kissed.

  I laughed, a wet, snotty sound. “You have a way with words, Damien.”

  He wiped the tears from my face with unsteady fingers. “Only ever for you, Amaryllis Coultihan-Whitmore.”

  I snuggled down in the embrace. “I hadn’t thought of that before. When we have children, we should call them that.”

  “If that’s your wish, I am more than happy to assume the name.”

  I rose and looked at him. He smiled.

  “Why?”

  “Because I love you. If that’s your wish, I would give in to it. I can’t promise I’d give on everything, but that’s a small, simple way of showing the wider world just how much I respect you. Who you are.”

  I wasn’t sure that was what I wanted, but instead of worrying, I would think on it. Later.

  I dozed, and when I woke, Damien was already gone.

  Chapter Sixteen

  The air held a nip, so I tugged my shawl close around me. The dirigible moved through the air, cutting a path quickly back to Haven. We’d left men and automative dogs behind, and while I didn’t quite trust Adam Nobel, or his weird views on women and the world, he’d promised to watch over the children.

  I turned to Andrew. “How much longer?”

  He rolled his eyes. “We’ll be in Haven tonight.”

  It wasn’t quite an exact time, but for now I’d make do.

  I marched to the end of the deck and glanced over the side. It was a long way down, and dizziness assailed me. I gripped the wooden rails and jerked away from the whoosh whoosh whoosh of the propeller. I’d already demanded an escorted examination of the control room and engineering bay. It was truly a wonder of modern technology, but it was the contents of the cargo bay that most captured my attention.

  Within the cargo bay, I noted the rows of attack dogs and more than one highly fortified carriage. “What are they for?”

  “If we’re under attack, we can move at-risk subjects with speed,” Andrew informed me, his face tight.

  Some were pitted, and I realised for the first time that my brother had been involved in a few situations. He was obviously someone I really didn’t know very well.

  In a secured bay, I noted bandoliers, munitions, and weapons. Some made little sense, such as the wide snub-nosed rifle. I’d have to learn more.

  We moved up to the main decks, which housed the men. They weren’t luxurious, but bunks were neatly lined up with thick bedding ensuring their comfort, while tiny curtains gave them privacy. I noted the bathing rooms interspersing the larger rooms, with deep baths and new-fangled showers, where the water was forced into a low-slung head and jetted over the men below.

  Traversing forward, I found a galley and dining room. “How many men have you transported on this?”

  “Enough,” he answered, and tempted though I was to roll my eyes at the non-answer, I kept it to myself.

  On a higher deck were offices, his personal cabin, and two smaller ones, each with a private bathing room. There were also working areas and seating areas, though none could be described as large.

  I’d counted around thirty men and only two other women aboard, but the ship seemed capable of housing many more. A cramped yet well-appointed medical bay rounded out the deck, and I shared my appreciation with Gloriana, who smiled. “Andrew is quite proud of his craft. It’s still small, our fleet, but we’re working to grow it.”

  I thought back to the small passenger transport he’d lost and was jolted by the knowledge that he was not just an inventor and transport-company mogul. That was simply the shell he allowed others to see. My brother, like my husband, was a man of layers.

  “No wonder they seem to be good friends,” I muttered.

  “What was that, Ammy?” Gloriana asked.

  I shook my head. “I don’t see how they met. I mean, I can see why they’re friends, but…”

  “You know about Damien’s mother, and the accident that killed his father. Your father was driven to ensure Andrew looked at the whole person when dealing with issues. He was ahead of his time, from what I understand. When Damien’s father was killed, Andrew befriended him. They attended college together.”

  Still, there was so much I didn’t know. Would I ever make my way through the many facets? Did I need to? I knew Damien on such an instinctive level already that maybe I didn’t need to know it all.

  “You should come inside now. Gloriana has arranged a meal for the four of us.” Damien’s hand snaked around my waist, and I threw off the memories.

 
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