Haven house, p.12
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Haven House, page 12

 

Haven House
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  Damien

  * * *

  Now I wanted to scream. Clearly my decision last night had wreaked more damage than I could have suspected if he was now refusing to talk to me.

  Hot tears wanted to leak from my eyes, but I fought them back. “No good ever came from feeling sorry for yourself,” I murmured, then opened the door and entered the suite.

  It was curiously empty. “Francesca?”

  Her head peeked around the corner of the door. She was pale yet composed.

  I beckoned her closer. “Is Jessie attending to the children?”

  She glanced at me, eyes narrowed. “You have news?”

  “Tell Jessie we won’t be long, then join me.” I know she was attempting to read my thoughts, but she quickly removed herself from view, then returned. I grabbed a shawl, and together we left the room.

  Wordlessly, we ascended the steps onto the deck. I steered her to the back, where there was no chance of being spied on. “I received news this morning, Francesca. I’m so sorry, but your mother succumbed last night.”

  I felt the blaze of heat before she broke apart, sobs ripping through her. I wound my arms around her and held her close, absorbing every move and wishing I could fix it for her.

  Finally, her wild sobs subsided. “I n-need…” she stuttered.

  “I can tell the boys, if you like.”

  Francesca shook her head. “No, it should be me.”

  I had half expected she’d say that. Before she could move away, ready to undertake the ghastly task, I stopped her. “Wait. We’re expecting to make landfall today. We need to keep the children in the suite, where they’re safe.”

  She turned her blotchy face toward me, lost and looking very young. “Why?”

  “Come, sit down a moment. Let me explain.” We settled on the small stairs leading up to the top decks. “We don’t know who has created this mess. The dirigible you came to us on was blown up. We have some information, but not enough. The house was breached too, not long after we left, and we’re hiding. We don’t know for sure that no one knows where we are, so we need to hide until assured of safety.”

  “But they’re not after us, are they?”

  I shrugged because I honestly didn’t know. If they were after me, it made no sense. I was of little value. The boys hidden in the cabin below had more worth than any of us females. Yet I couldn’t quite discount anything, given the way Damien and I had been hunted after our arrival, so I shared as much as I knew because she deserved that and so much more. “I don’t understand what’s happening, Francesca. None of this makes sense to me.”

  She nodded. “We should suspend classes today.” She turned in my direction. “I’ll keep them inside today. Let me know when we should prepare for… whatever.”

  Francesca tugged the shawl closer around her and, with her head drooped, headed within.

  Dissatisfaction ate at me as I glanced out at the sea. Blue and wild. Free. What would that be like?

  The thud of footsteps caught my attention, and I looked up.

  Damien headed toward me. “You’ve received my notes?”

  “Yes. Thank you, Sheriff.” Formality would give us distance, I reasoned. Then I’d be able to think clearly. Not be so emotionally involved with him.

  He scowled. “Damien. My name is Damien.”

  I opened my mouth and closed it again. Gave a terse nod.

  “Angry with me? I’m sorry I didn’t come down to tell you in person. We’ve received news that I had to deal with.” He hunkered down onto the step beside me.

  I bit my lip. “Is something wrong?”

  “Yes. My manufacturing plant was broken into last night. My men are looking into it.”

  I reached out and grabbed his hands. “I’m sorry. Is this my fault? Have I somehow brought these disasters with me?”

  He cupped my cheek. “No, Ammy. You didn’t. You’ve done nothing wrong. I just don’t see how all these bits fit together yet. What the connections are.” He seethed with frustration.

  “I wish I could help you.”

  “You are. The children?”

  “Francesca is telling them. She’ll keep them in the suite until you tell us what you need.”

  He nodded and gazed out the back. “I had never seen the sea before I was twenty-three. Never had a hankering. Then one day, I was sent to the coast. Had to investigate the death of a small-town sheriff. Since then, I’ve loved the water.”

  “It’s calming, isn’t it? And yet it’s wild and free at the same time.”

  Damien laughed. “Best description I’ve heard in a long time.”

  I turned to him. “What next?”

  “I don’t know. We make sure it’s safe. Get you and the children on shore and settled. Then we dig deep and fast.”

  It wasn’t really enough, but for now, it would do.

  Chapter Twelve

  I followed Damien down the gangplank, the structure jouncing beneath my feet. “Is this safe?”

  “Absolutely.”

  I didn’t feel satisfied until my feet were on the ground once more.

  We headed to the small warehouse and entered the dimness. “Mr Forster?” Damien called.

  A little grizzled man with white hair and a heavy stoop stepped forward.

  “Damien Whitmore. I gave instructions for the house to be ready. Have you made it so?”

  The man nodded. “Good to meet you, Mr Whitmore. The house is ready for your family. This must be Mrs Whitmore? I believe you’re travelling with another young woman and your family?”

  I jerked sharply in the man’s direction, but Damien took my hand. “Uh, yes. We’ve brought the educational items you requested too.”

  “Excellent. I’ll have Maddison arrange the cart for your family, but if you’d like to look it over?” Mr Forster snapped his fingers, and a youngster scurried forward with a large metal key. It was old-fashioned and heavy, the insignia on the end of an intricate F embedded with curlicues. “It was my family home, but I have no children to carry on. I’ve moved into the small house beside the warehouse here. Better to attend to business, and not quite so many stairs.”

  His laugh echoed, but no one smiled or laughed.

  Damien thanked him for his help and gave directions for the cargo to be unloaded, then ushered me outside.

  High on a hill, not a great distance from the wharf, stood a house, sturdy and imposing, and I followed Damien as we walked toward it.

  “You didn’t correct him,” I said once we’d made it some distance from the buildings, finally sure no one would hear us.

  “No. You’re a single woman, and I’m a single man. Your reputation would be shredded if anyone knew, Ammy.”

  “But it doesn’t change the truth. I’m still a spinster, and you’re still a single man. We’ll be staying in a house together. Francesca and the children aren’t considered adequate chaperones, are they? Questions will be asked at some point.” What a nightmare this could become. None of these issues had crossed my mind before.

  He spun around, eyes glowing. “You’re quite right, Ammy. There’s only one way forward, if you’re concerned. Marry me and it settles the issue.”

  That stopped me. Marriage. Forever.

  “I…” I floundered. Right now, part of me wanted the promise in his silky words. Another part said he’d regret it eventually and neither of us would have a way out. My gut moved with a lurch.

  “Ammy?” He cupped my chin. “Marry me, Ammy. I know you’re not sure. I know you’re frightened, and nothing has been resolved. I’d give you more time, but you’re right. Questions will be asked. This way, you’re protected, and if anything happened, you’d have my name. That’s no small protection.”

  I blinked. “But who…?”

  He smiled as if he’d won some kind of game.

  “There’s a pastor here. He could arrange the ceremony.”

  I gripped his hand, knowing I squeezed hard. Too much. Too fast. But what other option was there? My name was all that was left to me. That too would be gone if I married him. Life had stripped away everything else and left me ashes. Would this be the same?

  “I…” I blinked, blinded for an instant. “Yes. You’re right, of course.”

  He tugged me close, and I burrowed in, letting his words fill the empty bits of me. “I’ll have the pastor come to the house tonight. We won’t wait any longer. Your reputation must remain unsullied.”

  Moments passed before he pulled away. “We should get to the house, inspect it, and return to the ship. The others will wait for us.”

  I let him pull me along, allowing my brain to fill with hope and excitement, because focusing on what I feared, that he might use me, hurt me, and rebuff me, was too scary to consider.

  The house itself was nice enough. Large airy rooms, the furniture old and dusty, but more than that, it was sturdy.

  We chose rooms for the children. Jessie would take a room in the nursery, while Frank and Aloysius would bunk down in the attic’s servants’ quarters. The main bedroom, a generously sized area, took up a large portion of the front first floor, complete with bathing chamber and dressing rooms. Its sitting area would have been lush some twenty years ago. Now it simply resembled an old room in need of care. I didn’t enter the space, and Damien stared at me, a question in his eyes.

  “Ammy?”

  “Yes, it’s fine,” I whispered and retreated from the doorway. “The boys will need a schoolroom,” I muttered and then fled.

  He let me be, and I was thankful for the mercy he showed. I thudded up the stairs to the second floor and stopped, simply allowing myself to breathe. I clapped my hand over my mouth to stifle the sounds of fear, whimpers that reminded me I was choosing to accept this situation.

  I’d run away from Haven House, from a fate I had no choice over, and here I was about to step into the same situation. “It’s different,” I said, the words echoing in the emptiness.

  Is it? Really? My brain teased me with that question, and I shoved it aside with great effort.

  The rooms up here weren’t as spacious or well appointed. One contained suitcases and dressing equipment, while another held boxes of books, plus tables and chairs. In the corner, I spied a box of toys and tugged it forward.

  I retreated to the room I’d seen earlier and sank to my knees before an old sea trunk. It opened with a creak, and I saw the lavender bag first.

  I pulled it away until I found a gown, yellowed with age, the material velvety soft.

  Now I stood, pulling the gown with me. Lush, though in need of a clean, its long sleeves were decorated with fragile lace, the bodice high enough to not offend but intricately layered.

  Even as I slid it to the floor, a bag caught my eye. It was bulky, and I carefully untied the strings. Inside were shoes, matching the gown but so delicate. With care, I removed one of my bulky boots and slipped it off with a thud. My foot fit perfectly in the shoe.

  The seed of an idea rose.

  Tonight.

  Not enough time to clean and dry the gown, but I would see if it fit and anything else within.

  I turned my attention to another trunk. Dresses filled it to the brim. Light fabrics, sprigged cotton, and I thought of Francesca.

  “Yes, once we’re settled, I’ll bring her up here.” Perhaps we’d even find the tools for her to refashion them to suit herself.

  The echo of feet on the stairs caught my attention, and I stuffed the ivory gown back into the first trunk. The lid had only just closed when I turned to meet Damien’s eyes.

  “You’ve found something?”

  “Clothing treasures.” I set about dusting myself off.

  “We should return to the ship, Ammy.” He reached out a hand, and I took it, because I wanted to.

  At the bottom of the stairs, I stopped and glanced back up. “Eldora would have loved this house. She said where she came from, there were verandas and wide-open spaces.” I shrugged. “Will you have time to arrange the pastor? Or should we wait until tomorrow?”

  “I don’t want to wait, Ammy. Do you?” His voice was dark with promise, and I shivered.

  “No. Not really.” Waiting meant time to reconsider. To change my mind. A dangerous prospect. “I want to… tonight.” The word emerged, strangled, and he stopped me with a hand on my shoulder.

  “If you’re not sure—”

  “Damien, I’m not sure I’m ever going to be completely ready. But I won’t let Haven take anything more from me. My name and reputation are all that’s left. They will not set the direction of my life. I’ve said yes. I gave my word, and I’ll stand by that. By you.”

  The uncertainty on his face hurt, cutting deeply at me, but I needed him to understand.

  “I want what I feel, and to be alive. I don’t want fear clouding my thinking. I know you’re a good man. You’ll be honest with me. What I want most of all is to be close to a person. To know that person is committed to me and me alone. With you, I know that’s more than just a chance, and I’m willing to control my fear to take it.” It didn’t stop the quaking or the terror, but it curtailed the wild desire to run away, because I leashed it.

  “I will stand by you. I’m not like the men from Haven, Amaryllis.” He jutted his jaw forward, as if daring me to disagree.

  In that instant, the fear melted, replaced by a curious peace. “And so we wed, tonight.” I rose onto my toes and kissed him. “Forgive me my fears. I spent so long there that I don’t know how to live in a world like this.”

  He dropped his forehead against mine. “We’ll work through this, Ammy. Together. You and me.”

  The kiss he planted on my lips was soft, and it curled my toes up.

  “We should head back now. Make the arrangements.”

  His fingers twined around mine, and we walked in silence together.

  I stood in the gown I’d found in the chest, it had been hurriedly cleaned by Francesca, Jessie, and myself. My brushed-out hair was twined into an elaborate coil thanks to Jessie and Francesca, and now we gathered in the front room of the pastor’s house.

  The light of the candles glowed, and the children watched, hushed, as Damien and I made our promises.

  Then, taking Constance into my arms, Damien following suit with Faith, and Francesca herding the boys, we headed to the house on the hill.

  Lights glowed, welcoming us home.

  It wasn’t large and overwhelming, like Damien’s house or Andrew’s. It didn’t terrify me like Haven House. I wondered at the portent of my thoughts.

  We’d eaten before the ceremony aboard the ship, so tonight we would simply usher the children up the stairs to their beds before taking some time to ourselves. Jessie, having acted as witness along with Aloysius, now marched them all up the stairs, including Francesca.

  The weight of the ring Damien slid onto my finger reminded me that I’d taken a step that couldn’t be undone.

  We moved to the veranda, and Frank emerged with a tray, glasses of wine and a bottle resting in a cooler.

  “We need to let Andrew know,” I murmured.

  “Tomorrow. We can take time for that then. Tonight is for us.”

  Frank disappeared back inside, and the intimacy of the two of us, alone in the night air, left me shivering with reaction.

  “Your family should have been there, Ammy. I regret that it’s not the romantic event most women look forward to.”

  The gravity of his words, the concern on his brow, had me turning toward him.

  “I never dreamed of a wedding, Damien. I’m not sure I know what’s normal there. In Haven, the women were bound to the man, a ring placed on the finger, and a dinner, before he took her off and—” I stopped, because the term that rose to mind seemed eminently wrong tonight.

  “What?” he urged.

  “No. Not tonight, Damien.” I stared into the darkness, wondering if I was ready for what came next, though. Intercourse. The word floated through my mind. Knowledge of what it was, what it meant had me biting my lip.

  “Ammy? If you’re not ready, we don’t have to do anything. Not until you’re ready.”

  The oxygen in my lungs escaped with a whoosh. “I don’t know what I’m ready for just yet, Damien.”

  “Then we can wait. Take it at a pace you’re ready for.”

  I drank my wine, letting the bubbles tickle the back of my throat as I considered what he’d said. The offer reinforced the differences between him and the men of Haven.

  I finished the wine, set down my glass. “I’m tired.”

  “Then we shall retire.” My husband—how strange that term was—scooped up the tray, and I followed him to the kitchen.

  He took my hand, and together we made our way up the staircase to the main bedroom.

  “You bathe first. I’ll make up the couch.”

  I shook my head. Just because I wasn’t yet ready for any more didn’t mean he shouldn’t be comfortable. “No, share the bed. I mean, it’s large enough.”

  His gaze burned me, but I refused to turn away like a coward.

  “I’m not sure…”

  I smiled. “I am. Now, I’ll go bathe and change.”

  On quick feet, I scurried away, nightgown in hand. The lights glowed, and I wondered once more at the change in circumstances. When I re-entered the bedroom, my shawl firmly wound around my shoulders, I headed for the bed, pulling back the covers. “It’s a good thing Mr Forster could arrange women to come in and clean so quickly.”

  Damien grunted, peering over the tiny communicase he held.

  “Is something wrong?”

  He glanced up. “The damage to my house is worse than I expected. They also tried to interrogate my men.”

  He slumped down to the bed, and I crawled toward him, placing my hand on his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Damien. If I hadn’t—”

  He whirled and grabbed at my shoulders. “No. It’s not your fault, Ammy. Don’t say that.” Damien surged up, away from me, and stalked to the end of the bed. “Go to sleep. I’ll bathe and be back shortly.”

  I felt the loss of him like a cold wave washing over me, and it stung. Here I’d given him a promise, the same as he’d done to me, but when it got tough, he’d left to work through it alone. I realised now that was also how I coped.

 
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