Mouse: A Steel Paragons MC Novel (The Coast: Book 7), page 22
As she ran her dainty, soft fingers over my skin, my eyes drifted closed. All too slowly, her hands made their way down my chest and abs. She toyed with the waistband of my pants and I couldn’t tell if she was doing it because she was trying to tease me or because she was nervous.
We’d had sex but she’d never seen me naked. I’d never seen her naked, either. I regretted it but at the same time, I wouldn’t take that night back. No way in hell.
I was vibrating inside knowing it wouldn’t be long now.
One button at a time, she undid my jeans. Her chest rose and fell and there was a tint of pink on her cheeks. I couldn’t look away from her eyes. My pants pooled around my ankles and one leg at a time, I freed them completely.
Her fingers explored every inch of my torso, gliding up over my chest and shoulders and back down again. Her eyes followed her touch as she took in all the ink that covered my arm and then back up to the one over my chest. Then she softly traced over the letters and then the club insignia that was there, permanently etched into my skin like the club was to my soul. I leaned forward, my hands resting on the edge of the counter as I caged her in my arms. Only the sounds of our breaths filled the air as she brought her eyes back to mine. Then her fingers were lightly gliding down my back until she met the band of my boxers.
I sucked in a breath through my clenched teeth when her hands slipped into my boxers and her warm palms followed the curve of my ass. The upturn at the corner of her lips told me she liked what she was doing to me.
I was finding it harder and harder not to close the six-inch gap between our lips.
My boxers dropped to the ground with a soft plop and I moved to free them as well.
To my surprise, she didn’t take her eyes off of mine. I found myself kind of liking it.
I was seconds away from ripping that dress off of her when her shaky fingers reached for the button at the top. One by one she slowly released them from their holes, revealing her smooth skin inch by torturous inch.
I wasn’t as strong as her and my eyes were locked on her movements as she made her way down.
A few more buttons and her arms dropped to her sides. With a couple of shakes of her shoulders, the dress floated to the floor.
I could no longer keep my hands off of her.
I pressed my body into hers as I took her lips, hard. My fingers released the clasp of her bra and I felt her move as she tossed it carelessly to the side. Her hard nipples pressed into my chest and I let out a growl as I shoved her panties down over her ass. Then my hands were kneading and palming her perky globes as if they had a mind of their own.
Her arms went around my shoulders and I lifted her up onto the top of the counter. We both frantically worked to get her panties the rest of the way down her legs.
Then I was there, pressing my body as close to hers as I could.
“Now,” she begged as I kissed my way down her neck. “Now, Malcolm. I can’t wait anymore.”
I straightened and reached out to open the cabinet over the sink. A minute later, I had my cock covered and she opened her legs wider for me.
We both watched as I took my cock in my hand and glided myself into her slowly. I was torn between wanting to watch myself take her and needing to see her eyes.
“That’s so…” she said almost sounding like she was in awe of the sight. The longer we watched, the wetter she became and damn, if it wasn’t so fucking hot.
Shocking me, she reached down and her fingers split at the entrance of her pussy. The extra touch had my balls tingling up.
“Shit, Ingram. Not going to last.” I panted out and my toes curled up as I tried to hold back for dear life.
Her back arched and her head fell back. Her hips began to frantically work in rhythm with my thrusts. My eyes were glued to her perfect mouth as tiny moans slipped past them.
Her nipples pointed out begging for me to taste them. A second later, my mouth covered one while my hand went to the other. Her moans sped up and I could tell she was trying her hardest to stay quiet.
“Yes. Malcolm. It feels so good.”
I felt her clench tight around me and I knew she was as close as me. I pumped into her harder, but didn’t pick up speed.
“Yes. Yes,” she chanted out.
I pinched her nipple as I sucked hard on the other one. Her body vibrated and then she came hard, her tiny nails biting into my shoulders. I followed right after her, planting myself deep, as I spilled everything I had into the condom.
My hand went to her hair and I cradled her into my body as we came down. I loved the way her head fit in the crook of my neck and her lips rested right against my skin.
“We really need to shower now,” she said with a little giggle.
I chuckled then planted a quick kiss on her lips before I slipped away from her tight heat.
If I wasn’t tired before, I sure as hell was now.
It was all I could do to get my legs to work enough to get me into the shower.
Luckily, I had Ingram there to help me wash everything. I’d never turn down an excuse to have her hands on me.
“I don’t have anything to wear,” she said wrapping the towel around her.
I darted out of the bathroom and went to my dresser. Digging around my shirt drawer, I pulled out my favorite shirt. I’d had it for years and it was extra soft. I didn’t wear it much anymore, hence the reason I had to dig to find it, but I still kept it around. Then a snagged a pair of boxers with a shrug.
I couldn’t recall a time when I’d seen Ingram in anything that wasn’t a dress. I didn’t have the first clue what she wore to bed or if she would be okay wearing my boxers. But it was the best I had.
Strange as it was, I didn’t even have any of Amber’s old clothes here because she never left anything behind. That should have been another clue that things weren’t right with her. Not that I would ever think of suggesting Ingram wear Amber’s left behind things even if there were any. I was smart enough to know that was not a good idea.
“Here,” I said as I handed her the items.
She took them with a smile and didn’t hesitate to let the towel fall away right before she put them on.
I left her in the bathroom with a clean toothbrush and went to get myself dressed.
I smiled when I slipped into the bathroom after she was done and saw her toothbrush sitting right there next to mine in the holder.
And that smile only grew when I walked out of the bathroom to find her already in my bed with the covers pulled down enough on the empty side for me to get in.
“Goodnight, Malcolm,” she said as she settled her head on the pillow.
That wasn’t going to work for me. So I hooked my arm under her neck and dragged her body close to mine. I told her goodnight and placed a kiss on her temple. With her head resting on my shoulder and her hand over my heart, I drifted off to sleep with ease.
Waking up to Mouse was… I didn’t have the words for how wonderful and amazing it was. The smile on my face was permanent.
Sparrow only woke once after we’d gone to bed.
I fed her and changed her and then she was out like a light again.
Poor Mouse must have been so tired because he barely stirred.
I knew all too well what it was like to do it alone so I understood how he must have been feeling. But then again, both of us did have a huge extended family that would gladly step in and help out. I imagined they were the reason for all of the baby items in the room.
“Good morning,” he said once his eyes opened and looked into mine.
“Good morning,” I parroted with the smile still on my face.
His arms went out in different directions and he grunted as he stretched. It was sexy. I never imagined that I would think someone stretching was sexy. I must have been out of my mind.
His head turned to look over at Sparrow. She was still out and I wondered how much longer that would last.
Without a word, he kissed me long and sweetly. Now, this was the kind of wake up greeting a girl could get used to.
“Fuck,” he blew out once he pulled away and buried his face in the crook of my neck.
His nose lightly brushed along my skin as he inhaled my scent causing goosebumps to prickle my skin all over. A giggle worked up my throat because it tickled but I kept my mouth clamped shut so it wouldn’t be so loud.
“I need this in my life every day, Ingram.” He pulled back to look at me. I was glad the sheet wasn’t dark and the light of the day filtered through a little. The look on his face made my insides quiver with happiness. “I know this is crazy and I really am trying to go slow here with you, but I feel complete when you’re near me. Now that I know what it’s like to wake up to you, I don’t know if I can go back.”
My hands came up to cup his face. I tried to speak but he wasn’t done.
“I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I would love the chance to work for it. If you’ll let me. We’ll take this at whatever pace you need to and I promise to never push you. I just… I know it might be too much but I can’t hold myself back with you.”
“Let’s move forward, okay?” I asked but it wasn’t really a question. I was making a decision for myself as much as for him. I knew that holding onto everything that we’d been through would only cause damage to our relationship in the end. “I want to figure out the future together and not let the past hang over us. You hurt me, I think you get that by now. And I truly believe that you will work hard to not do it again.”
He kissed me again, taking his time to explore my mouth. It was all the answer I needed.
“Thank you,” he whispered against my lips as he pulled away and I smiled up at him.
I hated that he stopped but it was probably the smart thing. I was seconds away from turning into a panting, desperate fool. I would have probably started rocking my pelvis against him and begging him to touch me more.
Besides, I really needed to get back home. I was missing Chry and I was sure he was wondering where I was.
“I know you’ve got to go,” he said softly understanding my thoughts even if I didn’t say anything. “Give that little guy a hug for me.”
Sparrow started to squirm just as we got out of bed. In the fully lit room, Mouse looked much better. His dark circles were still there but significantly less noticeable now.
I dressed, throwing my bra and dress back on but leaving his boxers because the thought of putting dirty underwear back on made me cringe.
“Are you working today?” he asked.
He was already settled on the bed holding Sparrow as she greedily gulped down her bottle.
“Yes. I’m off at seven.”
“Who’s watching Chry?”
“Chris and Ky have him covered today. Their schedules are basically opposite,” I told him.
“Okay,” he said and I sensed a hint of disappointment in his tone.
“I’ll bring him by tomorrow.”
“Yeah?” His eyes lit up with excitement.
“I promise.” I leaned over and kissed him goodbye. “I’ll see you later. I’m here if you need anything.”
“Thank you, Ingram,” he said.
I brushed my finger over Sparrow’s soft hair then headed for the door.
Once I was in my car, the world began to spin.
I wondered if this had anything to do with that feeling I got when Chris was about to fill out the paperwork for the condo. That would be really strange but oddly, it also made sense in my mind.
If Mouse and I did get a place together, we would need more than two bedrooms.
Oh, wow. I had gone off the deep end. Was I crazy for thinking those kinds of things? And even if he wanted to move in together right away, would it really be a smart idea? What was I thinking?!
This was way too new to be having such heavy thoughts and wants. Only it felt kind of right which didn’t make it seem insane at all.
By the time I returned to the beach house, I had decided that I would sort of look for places in silence. I convinced myself that it was only to get an idea of what was out there. Except, I wasn’t really fooling myself.
I found Chris and Chry hanging out on the floor in the living room. There was a tower of blocks and a bunch of cars sprawled out on the carpet. Chris was currently on all fours making the bridge over the block city that Chry was driving the cars on.
I laughed uncontrollably at the sight and wished that I’d thought fast enough to pull out my phone. I really would have loved a picture of that.
“Mommy!” Chry squealed and came running over to me as Chris collapsed on the ground beside the town of blocks.
“How long have you been like that?” I asked, noticing his face was a nice shade of red.
“Probably like ten minutes. Every time I tried to move, he got under me. I didn’t want to crush him so I had no choice but to stay like that.”
We laughed and I loved how Chris could get pushed around by a two-year-old. That was love right there.
Chris put on a movie for Chry and after he was settled on the couch, we moved to the kitchen. I got out a yogurt while Chris made me a cup of coffee.
“Alright, talk,” he said after we sat down at the island.
“Where do I even start?” I blew out a harsh breath. “How much do you know?”
His eyes shifted to the side and I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me.
“Okay, don’t hate me,” he started and I sat up straight and looked at him. “Mouse came here a few days ago. He looked so lost, Ingram. I think he really needed to talk to someone.”
“He came here?! But he wasn’t looking for me, was he? He was here for you.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think it was intentional,” he rushed to say.
I wanted to be mad but I knew Chris was the best person to talk to when stuff was going sideways. So a huge part of me understood it.
“Go on,” I told him and then opened my yogurt.
“I know a good amount of it. What I don’t know, is what is going on with you. How are you feeling about all of this?”
“Oh, with the feelings again,” I said and rolled my eyes as I momentarily got thrown back to Dr. Walsher’s office. “I think I’m actually okay.”
“Did you guys talk?”
I hummed my reply as I pulled the spoon from my mouth. I waited until after I’d swallowed the yogurt down before I spoke.
“I want all the things with Mouse,” I told him truthfully.
There was more, I knew it. But in my mind, it was the only thing that mattered right now.
“Wants all the things too. I know it’s not going to be easy but nothing easy turns out to be worthwhile.”
“You are so wise beyond your years, Ingram. You amaze me.” He shot me a smile.
“On the drive back here I just kept thinking about needing to find a place with three bedrooms. I see this life with him and Chry and Sparrow. And this image I have in my head, well, it’s nothing short of beautiful.”
I drifted off in my thoughts for a moment and Chris sat there patiently waiting while I did so.
“She’s so adorable, Chris. I think I loved her the moment I laid eyes on her.”
“You have a big heart. I always knew that.”
“Come on, give me the rational big brother speech. I’m sure you and Ky talked about it some last night. How mad was he that I stayed over there?”
Chris’ head fell back as he barked out a laugh.
“He forgot all about it once I took him upstairs.”
It was my turn to laugh as I tried not to dive too deeply into those thoughts.
“We did talk about it for a little while though,” he said turning serious. “Of
“And?” I urged him on.
“We support whatever you decide. I think you know that. We will worry because that’s what we do. But I think you’ve got your head on pretty damn straight enough to make decisions like this on your own. We can’t hold you back for following your heart.”
He raised a brow at me and I picked up on what he wasn’t saying. Their journey hadn’t exactly been easy. Especially, since Ky refused to listen to his heart for a long time.
“Then tell me, oh, wise one, what is the next smart, logical step?” I asked because I was trying to do this right.
“Well, Mouse needs a place of his own,” he said with ease. “He will go crazy keeping the two of them in that room. And the compound can be… loud sometimes. I suggest you help get him to that step. I’m here too, you know. And if you happen to find a place that has enough room for all of you and maybe it feels right, I say think about it.”
“It’s not too fast?”
“The heart doesn’t run on time.”
Well, as silly as it sounded, he was kind of right.
“If that’s the way you go, we still want to help you out,” he added with sweetness in his tone.
I sighed knowing that it wasn’t much of a request. I knew Chris and Ky would sleep better at night if they knew I was taken care of. Not that he was saying that Mouse and I couldn’t handle it on our own.
I figured this was a battle I was going to have to purposely lose.
“Thank you,” I told him sincerely.
The next week I juggled my time between work, looking for a place, and checking in on Mouse when I wasn’t taking care of Chry. Most of the time I went to the compound, I brought Chry with me. He was instantly taken with Sparrow and it was so adorable.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t spent the night with Mouse again. It was just too much. I hated leaving Chry for the night and there wasn’t enough room for all of us in Mouse’s room. It was a little crazy even thinking about it. And there was no way either one of us was going to think about asking Ky if Mouse could come and stay at the beach house. That would have been too awkward for all of us.