Brilliantly observed as always, family, teachers, pupils and the dreaded school inspector all leap to life in this wonderfully warm and witty, brand new, poetry collection from bestseller Gervase Phinn. New kids, disobedient deputy heads, school reports and fireworks, daydreamers and embarrassing mums all make an appearance. And if read on you might even just discover the whereabouts of Colin's confiscated conkers - just don't tell the teacher!

Bad Becky is cheeky (but charming), opinionated and always in some kind of trouble. But you can't help loving her! I mean wouldn't you rather hear a story about a princess who gets gobbled up by the dragon rather than another soppy one wher the prince saves the princess? And if a magician at a party was rubbish wouldn't you point it out? And who wants their horrible Great Aunt Mildred visiting? So really, Becky is just doing everyone a favour...A wickedly funny new series for readers gaining confidence. Bad Becky's got attitude!

For eleven-year old James Joseph Johnson (or Jimmy for short) life is not always straightforward. In fact, things can be quite complicated, and don't always turn out as he'd planned...Born in 1946, Jimmy lives with his Mum and Dad in a shiny red brick terraced house in South Yorkshire near the steel works. Sometimes the air is thick and metallic tasting, with bits of soot floating around like little black snowflakes. Despite all this, Jimmy wouldn't want to live anywhere else.His very best friend, Ignatius Plunkett, is a scrawny boy with a sharp beak of a nose, ears like jug handles and a mop of jet black hair. Micky is his rather 'posh' friend from the big houses down the road. The boys get into a few scrapes in the year leading up to the eleven-plus exams, but will they come out on top in the end?Will Jimmy survive a week looking after Butch, the temperamental, barrel-bodied bull terrier? Will the truth about the trip to buy Dad's tripe ever come out? What really...

The second book in the delightful BARTON-IN-THE-DALE series which began with THE LITTLE VILLAGE SCHOOL.Elisabeth Devine certainly rocked the boat when she arrived in Barton-in-the-Dale to take over as head teacher of the little primary school. Now it's a new term, and after winning over the wary locals, she can finally settle in to her role. Or so she thinks . . . For the school is hit by a brand-new bombshell: it's to be merged with its arch rival, and Elisabeth has to fight for the headship with Urebank's ruthless and calculating headmaster. She has her work cut out for her.But add in some gossip and a helping of scandal, not to mention various newcomers bringing good things and bad to Barton, and that's not the only trouble that's brewing in the village.

A unique look into the childhood experiences of Gervase Phinn in Road to the Dales.Gervase tells of a life full of happiness, conversation, music and books shared with his three siblings, mother and father. This book is a snapshot of growing up in Yorkshire in the 1950s - reminisce with Gervase, and share in his personal journey - of school days and holidays as well as his tentative steps into the adult world. Devour numerous uproarious stories including the incident involving a broken greenhouse, crashing his brother's newly restored bike as well as secrets about his first dates, adventures at summer camp, family trips to Blackpool and many other captivating tales.With a wicked ear for the comical, and a sharp eye for detail, Road to the Dales visits poignant moments, significant events and precious memories from a boy called Gervase Phinn.Gervase Phinn is an author and educator from...

Even with a huge problem to worry about, Father McKenzie still manages to see the good in everyone. His job is made more difficult by his nosy housekeeper and the gossips from the shop down the road. Will they succeed in spoiling things, or will Father McKenzie's advice win the day?This charming tale shows the ups and downs of everyday life in a truly heart-warming way. It will have you laughing out loud and shedding a tear -- both at the same time.

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars is the second delightful collection of stories and poems from Gervase Phinn.Following on from the terrific success of A Wayne in a Manger, Gervase Phinn has collected together from his bestselling Dales books his favourite stories about children, and included some poems from his popular Puffin poetry books. In this humorously illustrated book, the stories have one thing in common - the wonderfully funny (and usually innocent) things that children say. What makes Naomi's granny wobble? What's the secret ingredient in Richard's jam tarts? What is Billy's unconventional method for making babies?Whether they are stories about children who cannot read very well but know the names of many breeds of sheep or children who are more privileged (coming to school in a Wolls-Woyce), they are simply delightful. Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars is a heart-warming book will enchant you, as Gervase...

Head Over Heels in the Dales is the third volume in Gervase Phinn's bestselling Dales Series'Could you tell me how to spell "sex" please?'Gervase Phinn thinks he's heard just about everything in his two years as a school inspector, but a surprising enquiry from an angelic six-year-old reminds him never to take children for granted.This year Gervase has lots of important things on his mind - his impending marriage to Christine Bentley (the prettiest headteacher for miles around), finding somewhere idyllic to live in the Yorkshire Dales, and the chance of a promotion. All of which generate their fair share of excitement, aided and abetted as usual by his colleagues in the office.In Head Over Hells in the Dales, join Gervase Phinn in the classroom where he faces his greatest challenge: keeping a straight face as teachers and children alike conspire to have him laughing out...

Gervase Phinn is back with his tales of life as a schools inspector in Yorkshire.His colourful cast of characters have now become firm favourites - the mostly mad staff at County Hall as well as the children themselves who find ways of embarrassing the school inspectors with innocent ease. We reconvene with Christine Bentley, head teacher of Winnery Nook School and now Gervase's wife and mother of their son, the well-named Mrs Savage and not forgetting the Queen of Clean -- Connie.Gervase Phinn has an extraordinary talent to entertain, and the latest instalment to the Dale Series is heart-warming, wry and will make you laugh out loud.

Gervase Phinn reveals his early experiences as a school inspector in The Other Side of the Dale.As the newly appointed County Inspector of Schools in North Yorkshire, Gervase Phinn reveals in this warm and wonderfully humorous account, the experiences of his first year in the job - and what an education it was!He quickly learns that he must slow his pace and appreciate the beautiful countryside - 'Are tha'comin' in then, mester, or are tha' stoppin' out theer all day admirin' t'view?' He encounters some larger-than-life characters, from farmers and lords of the manor to teaching nuns and eccentric caretakers. And, best of all, he discovers the delightful and enchanting qualities of the Dales children, including the small boy, who, when told he's not very talkative, answers: 'If I've got owt to say I says it, and if I've got owt to ask I asks it.'With his keen ear for the absurd and sharp eye for the ludicrous, Gervase...

Bad Becky is cheeky, opinionated and always in some kind of trouble. But you can't help loving her! I mean wouldn't you rather hear a story about a princess who gets gobbled up by the dragon rather than another soppy one where the prince saves the Princess? And if a magician at a party was rubbish wouldn't you point it out? And who wants their horrible Great Aunt Mildred visiting? So really, Becky is just doing everyone a favour...The first book in a wickedly funny new series for readers gaining confidence. Bad Becky's got attitude!

Up and Down in the Dales is the fourth volume in Gervase Phinn's bestselling Dales SeriesWhat's your name? I asked the child.'Tequila,' she replied. I'm named after a drink.''Tequila Sunrise,' I murmured.'No,' pouted the child. 'Tequila Braithwaite.'Now in his fourth year as an Inspector for English in the Yorkshire Dales, Gervase Phinn still relishes visiting the schools - whether an inner-city comprehensive fraught with difficulties or a small Dales Primary school where the main danger is one of closure. With endless good humour, he copes with the little surprises that occur round every corner.Some things never change: Mrs Savage roars, Connie rants, and Gervase's colleague in the office play verbal ping-pong. But all this can be put behind him each day when he returns home to his lovely wife, Christine, who is expecting their...

A second collection of poems based on familiar themes.....

For Gervase Phinn growing old is not about a leisurely walk to the pub for a game of dominoes or snoozing in his favourite armchair. As this sparkling collection of his very best humorous writing shows, he may be 'out of the woods' but he is certainly not 'over the hill'. Looking back over more than sixty years of family life, teaching, inspecting schools, writing and public speaking, Gervase never fails to unearth humour, character, warmth and wisdom from the most diverse of experiences, whether they be growing up in Rotherham with the most un-Yorkshirelike of names or describing why loud mobile phone users get his goat. Brimming with nostalgia, gently mocking life's absurdities, never shy of an opinion, this is Gervase Phinn at his wittiest, twinkly-eyed best.

Over Hill and Dale is the second volume in Gervase Phinn's bestselling Dales series.'Miss, who's that funny man at the back of the classroom?So begins school-inspector Gervase Phinn's second year among the frankly spoken pupils and teachers of North Yorkshire - the sight of Gervase with his notebook and pen provokes unexpected reactions from the children and adults alike.But Gervase is far from daunted - he is ready to brave the steely glare of the officious Mrs Savage, and even feels up to helping Dr Gore organize a gathering of the Feofees - just as soon as someone tells him what they are! He is still in pursuit of the lovely headteacher Christine Bentley, but will she feel the same?This is a delectable second helping of hilarious tales from the man who has been dubbed 'the James Herriot of schools'. In Over Hill and Dale, Gervase Phinn will have you laughing out...