The Lair tf-2, page 37
part #2 of The Farm Series
Was this how it began? The long, horrible slide into being a true vampire. Into being a creature so selfish and self-indulgent that I was willing to kill half the world to get what I wanted?
I felt Carter’s hand on my leg. He looked at me, concerned, almost as if he knew exactly what I was thinking. “I don’t know what’s true,” he said, “but I can tell you this. If there is a cure out there, we’ll find it. Whether Sebastian had it or Roberto had it, we’ll find it. We’ll find it ourselves. As for who made the virus in the first place, who knows? If I’ve learned anything from this, it’s that you can’t ever trust a vampire to tell you the truth.” A bitter laugh escapes from his lips. “You can’t trust vampires at all.”
His words pierce something deep inside of me. Yeah, he doesn’t mean them. Not like that. I guess he doesn’t really think of me as a vampire yet. But then, he doesn’t know the things I’ve done.
For a while, neither of us speaks. Carter just drives through the seemingly endless night. After a while, I’m afraid that he does realize what he’s said. That he knows how much he’s hurt me and is trying to think of how to apologize. I couldn’t stand that. I can’t hear him say that he knows I’ll be different. That he believes I’ll be able to control myself. After all, vampires aren’t the only ones who can lie.
To avoid that conversation, I say, “He could make it.”
Carter doesn’t ask who I mean. We both know that there’s a good chance Sebastian is still alive.
As pissed as I am, as completely furious, as tired as I am of his endless manipulation and lies, I am strangely torn. When I stabbed him through the heart, I wanted him dead. I wanted it with every cell of my body. With my human heart and my vampire soul. I wanted him dead. Completely destroyed.
And yet . . .
And yet, some part of me misses him already. He had been a vicious teacher. He’d been brutal and hard and had never once let up on me. I had hated him for it. And loved it, too. All my life I’d been coddled. I’d been taken care of. Sebastian was the only person, ever, who had treated me like I was capable of taking care of myself. Of just functioning. And he’d done it even before he’d changed me into a vampire. As much as I wanted him dead, as much as I wanted to hate him, how could I?
Maybe he was dead. Maybe I would never see him again. But maybe he wasn’t and maybe I would.
“If he is alive,” I said aloud, “he’s going to be pissed.” Oddly, I think he’d be most angry that we killed Roberto ourselves, rather than that I’d stabbed him. “He’s not the kind of man to let us walk away. He’ll come after us.”
Carter’s eyes didn’t flicker away from the road. His hand tightened slightly on the steering wheel. “Let him come. We’ll be ready.”
Praise for The Farm
“Equal parts Resident Evil and Hunger Games—and just as thrilling . . . A gripping dystopian tale . . . a web of vampires, love, sacrifice, and survival.”
—Chloe Neill, New York Times bestselling author of Biting Cold
“A gritty, white-knuckle ride . . . fresh, fraught, and super scary.”
—Veronica Wolff, national bestselling author of Sierra Falls
“An intense read . . . the kind of book you can’t put down.”
—C. C. Hunter, New York Times bestselling author of Taken at Dusk
“Be prepared to stay up all night.”
—Marie V. Snyder, New York Times bestselling author of Touch of Power
“McKay’s phenomenally crafted characters—the true highlight of the book—will keep you waiting for the sequel.”
—RT Book Reviews
“The Farm is a tightly wound atmospheric thriller . . . A very solid read that leaves you wanting more.”
—Fiction State of Mind
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Emily Mckay, The Lair tf-2
