Beat the Band

      Don Calame

Beat the Band

Get ready for riffs on hot girls, health class, and social hell! The outrageously funny boys from Swim the Fly return to rock their sophomore year. In this hilarious sequel to Swim the Fly, told from Coop's point of view, it's the beginning of the school year, and the tenth-grade health class must work in pairs on semester-long projects. Matt and Sean get partnered up (the jerks), but Coop is matched with the infamous "Hot Dog" Helen for a presentation on safe sex. Everybody's laughing, except for Coop, who's convinced that the only way to escape this social death sentence is to win "The Battle of the Bands" with their group, Arnold Murphy's Bologna Dare. There's just one problem: none of the guys actually plays an instrument. Will Coop regain his "cool" before it's too late? Or will the forced one-on-one time with Helen teach him a lesson about social status he never saw coming? With ribald humor and a few sweet notes, screenwriter-turned-novelist Don Calame...

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    Call the Shots

      Don Calame

Call the Shots

And . . . action! As the uproarious trio returns, sensitive Sean takes the spotlight — scripting a low-low-budget film while fielding unexpected female fans. Coop is cooking up another sure-misfire scheme (big surprise), and this time the comedy plays out from Sean’s point of view. What’s the new master plan? Making a cheapo horror movie guaranteed to make Coop, Sean, and Matt filthy rich! It’s a terrible idea, and Sean knows it. But he actually is desperate for cash — and for a way to wipe that big fat L off his girlfriend-less forehead. But when he agrees to write a script about the attack of zombie-vampire humanzees, he has no idea just how powerful a chick magnet this movie will be. Suddenly Sean is juggling not one but three interested ladies. There’s his accidental-girlfriend-turned-psychotic-stalker, Evelyn. There’s the wicked hot actress from drama class, Leyna, who seems willing to do anything to land the starring role. And even his twin sister’s gothed-out best friend, Nessa, is looking at Sean in a whole new way. Will any of them wind up as Sean’s true leading lady? Will Sean stop being a doormat and finally start calling the shots?

Review

Fearlessly foul, this consistently comical series should be required reading for all teenage boys and anyone else with a strong stomach and highly sensitive funny bone.
—Kirkus Reviews (starred review)

About the Author

Don Calame is the author of the YA novels Swim the Fly and Beat the Band. A screenwriter whose film projects include Employee of the Month and Hounded, he lives in British Columbia.

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