I Keep Thinking It's Tuesday

I Keep Thinking It's Tuesday

BarnaWilde

BarnaWilde

Tom Fletcher sometimes sees people as donuts and uses Exchange and Mart as his guide through a life populated by topless dancers and hippopotami.Frogs, pizzas, water beds, pygmies, licorice flavoured condoms and an ostrich all have key parts to play in this murder mystery; or perhaps it's a love story; or is it just a tale about a man who doesn't own a decent jacket?… and who is Geoffrey?Tom Fletcher is a worried man. Middle aged and balding, he hasn't sold a house in weeks and his job is on the line. His wife is cheating on him and he is falling in love with his secretary.He is bewildered by the world. Animate and inanimate objects take on personalities and behaviours in his fertile imagination which make even the commonplace events of daily life into battlegrounds where misunderstanding and confusion reign.All he asks is to be loved, -- but not by the intimidating Carole who contrives and schemes to get him into her bed.In his mind there is a simple solution. Kill his wife and marry his secretary. But where to get the gun?Pausing only to reflect on topology and the meaning of life, Tom pursues a single minded route through a minefield populated by topless dancers and hippopotami, only slightly phased by a tendency to see people as donuts, and use Exchange and Mart as his guide.Frogs, Pizzas, Water Beds, Pygmies, Licorice Flavoured Condoms and an Ostrich all have key parts to play in this drama of everyday folk.This is a love story, or perhaps a murder story, or maybe it's just a tale about a man who doesn't own a decent jacket..... and in the background lurks the mysterious Geoffrey, without whom the story would be incomplete.
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Flowers for Mercedes

Flowers for Mercedes

BarnaWilde

BarnaWilde

A girl on a motorbike, a hit and run, a detective called Flowers, a warehouse robbery, a train derailment, a missing cat, arson, kidnap and more in three complete stories about Mercedes Drew which, together, form the first part of the Mercedes Drew mysteries.Will Mercedes Drew ever find true love? Will Detective Inspector Flowers solve the mystery of the missing cat? Who is stealing the covers off the drains? Why won't Mr Chatterjee say who set fire to his restaurant? Who is Dogtooth? Where is the lead from St Stephen's Church roof?Answers to these questions and more in Flowers for Mercedes (volume one)
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Not at all Rhinocerus

Not at all Rhinocerus

BarnaWilde

BarnaWilde

A collection of quirky verse by Barnaby Wilde which is not at all rhinoceros. (Well, maybe just a little bit, at the end).A miscellany of verses full of weak puns, old jokes and a sense of the ridiculous.A collection of quirky verse by Barnaby Wilde which is not at all rhinoceros. (Well, maybe just a little bit, at the end). A miscellany of verses full of weak puns, old jokes and a sense of the ridiculous, including 'A pyschiatrist's guide to empathetic garden design', 'Two flies walking on a bald man's head', and 'Acupuncture is a jab well done' amongst others.And absolutely no mention of rhinoceros (OK. perhaps a very little bit at the end).
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Barnaby's Shorts (Volume One)

Barnaby's Shorts (Volume One)

BarnaWilde

BarnaWilde

Ten short stories, including The Monkey Faced Boy, The Holey Oak, The Accidental Bank Job,The Horse that ran with the Wind and others. A mixed bag of tales ideal for reading on a plane or in a train. Gentle humour, a touch or sci fi, and a twist at the end.Presley is a troubled teenager who lives in the sleepy rural small Midwestern town of Lock Springs, Missouri. She has a myriad of family problems. Her father is dead and her mother is a selfish alcoholic who leaves Presley to fend for herself. With a lack of guidance and support she turns to her popular but narcissistic boyfriend, Tyler, to find love. Desperate for love and affection she struggles with his blatant unfaithfulness. Presley finds solace in writing music and playing her guitar. She uses her music as an outlet to express her complex teenage emotions as she tries to make sense of her life. Presley is confused and depressed until she visits a mystical place in another dimension far away from home. She encounters spirits and ghosts including many that want her dead. She meets spiritually advanced beings from another world and from another time. In this other world she meets Jesse, a guy that falls madly in love with her. Confused by his impulsive love, he helps her to unlock the mysteries of her secretive past that open her mind to endless possibilities about her world. This paranormal tale is full of mystic adventure along with a deep spiritual love story filled with passion that will connect with young girls and young women. Just as Presley begins to unravel her startling past she is faced with a heart wrenching decision. She could go back home to her lonesome life or she could stay in this other world with Jesse- along with the evil spirits who want her soul. It’s full of twists and turns that will keep the reader intrigued until the end.
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Animalia

Animalia

BarnaWilde

BarnaWilde

Quirky verses with a loosely animal related theme, including armadillos, camels, stick insects, elephants and dodos, but not necessarily in that order.Rain Phillipa has always been an adventurous teenager, but when her adventures get her in hot water with the authorities as well as her family, she feels her only option is to run away. Soon finding herself in the heart of Kansas City, Rain is taken in by a secretive criminal operation who show her the life she's always wanted; drugs, parties, and violence quickly encapsulate her world. But when her family's search for her continues gaining volunteers and media attention and the secrecy of the criminal organization is directly endangered Rain can't help but wonder if this life of adventure and excess can really last forever. Delicate Rain contains some mature content, guidance advised.
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