My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires

My Favorite Fangs: The Story of the Von Trapp Family Vampires

Alan Goldsher

Literature & Fiction / Humor / Sports

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE...WITH THE SOUND OF SUCKING!Maria von Trapp is sweet, innocent, and can sing like an a ngel. Oh, and she's also a bloodthirsty vampire.When Maria is kicked out of the zombie-infested Abbey where she's been residing for the past 612 years, she's forced to take care of the family von Trapp, a rowdy clan in need of some serious discipline...or vampirification. After Maria turns the von Trapp children into children of the night and marries the von Trapp patriarch, the family seems destined for eternal (really, really eternal) bliss. But the Nazi Undeath Squads are on the march, intent on ridding Europe of bloodsuckers. And Maria will have to do everything in her power -- supernatural or otherwise -- to save her vampire brood.Review"Goldsher (Paul Is Undead) has devised the perfect book for readers who believe that The Sound of Music needed more caustic vomit, lesbian vampire sex, Nazi Undeath Squads, the ghost of John Coltrane, and copious lashings of gross-out humor."-Publishers Weekly"Goldsher delivers knowing commentary on genre conventions. Every scene is either a romp of PG-13 double-entendres or a blood bath."-Kirkus ReviewsPraise for Paul is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion"Bloody brilliant." —Parade"Goldsher imbues his broad, over-the-top, gleefully gore-flecked horror with nuance. A gag-per-minute pace." —NPRAbout the AuthorALAN GOLDSHER is the author of 11 books, including that acclaimed Beatles/horror/comedy mashup Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion. As a ghostwriter, he has collaborated with numerous celebrities and public figures. For more information, please visit AlanGoldsher.com.
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Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion

Paul Is Undead: The British Zombie Invasion

Alan Goldsher

Literature & Fiction / Humor / Sports

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO REALLY MEET THE BEATLES.For John Lennon, a young, idealistic zombie guitarist with dreams of global domination, Liverpool seems the ideal place to form a band that could take over the world. In an inspired act, Lennon kills and reanimates local rocker Paul McCartney, kicking off an unstoppable partnership. With the addition of newly zombified guitarist George Harrison and drummer/Seventh Level Ninja Lord Ringo Starr, the Beatles soon cut a swath of bloody good music and bloody violent mayhem across Europe, America, and the entire planet.In this searing oral history, discover how the Fab Four climbed to the Toppermost of the Poppermost while stealing the hearts, ears, and brains of smitten teenage girls. Learn the tale behind a spiritual journey that resulted in the dismemberment of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Marvel at the seemingly indestructible quartet’s survival of a fierce attack by Eighth Level Ninja Lord Yoko Ono. And find out how the boys escaped eternal death at the hands of England’s greatest zombie hunter, Mick Jagger.Through all this, one mystery remains: Can the Beatles sublimate their hunger for gray matter, remain on top of the charts, and stay together for all eternity? After all, three of the Fab Four are zombies, and zombies live forever. . . .
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