A Nightingale for the Lonely Duke, page 16
‘Perhaps that is the best solution, Miss Goodwin,’ the Duke replied firmly, standing slowly to match her position. ‘You will serve a week’s notice and then I would prefer that you vacate the manor.’
‘Certainly, my lord,’ Alina replied coldly. ‘May I now be excused?’
‘Indeed, Miss Goodwin. You are excused.’
Chapter 18
Rebecca had taken the news badly, which came as no surprise to Alina. Since informing her of her departure, now several days ago, Rebecca’s usual vivacious personality had been replaced with a cloud of pessimism, making it nearly impossible to get any work done during her lessons. When the young lady sang, her voice was lacklustre, and she made more than the usual number of mistakes in her piano playing.
Whilst Alina tried her very best to remain professional, it was difficult not to allow her overwhelming feelings to swallow her mood. Not only did she have to struggle to keep her own disposition elevated, but she was also exhausted with the added pressure of supporting Rebecca in her melancholy.
It had crossed Alina’s mind, at the beginning, not to tell her until later on in the week, and yet, she realised that would be entirely selfish and unfair. Her reasons for doing so would have been so as not to cause Rebecca any upset, but beneath that, was her acknowledgement that it would be she, that would have to deal with the younger woman’s emotions. A weight that would be difficult to carry, and yet, a necessity to help Rebecca come to terms with what must occur.
Rebecca deserved to know, and as Alina now counted her as more of a friend than a student, she felt it only fair that Rebecca was given an opportunity to deal with her loss whilst Alina was still there to be able to support her through it. She certainly would receive no comfort from the Duke, for he had made his feelings clear and had made no attempt to speak to Alina again since their conversation, and the idea that Lady Richardson would assist her was more than laughable.
In fact, Lady Richardson had hardly stopped gloating since she had discovered the outcome of the interview with her soon-to-be husband. On several occasions, she had mentioned, within hearing range of Alina, but not speaking to her directly, that ‘people ought not to tell lies to secure employment’, and that, ‘one ought to keep their sights on men in their own class instead of attempting to reach past their station’. Rebecca of course, had come to Alina’s defence, but Alina had dissuaded her from doing so, for it was entirely pointless.
Lady Richardson had shown her colours since she had arrived, and had not even tried to hide her ugliness in the way in which she had treated people. It had since come to Alina’s knowledge that it had been Lady Richardson who had discovered her past and it had been by her own mouth, that the rumours had spread like an uncontrollable fire throughout the ballroom on that fateful night. Clearly, that had been her intent all along and the reason she had been so adamant to discover Alina’s past. The only way to be rid of her, for evidently, she saw Alina as some form of competition, was to discredit her as a person. If only Mr Guzman had not lied, for it was his lie that had caused all this mess in the first place.
Rebecca had once more, stopped playing her piano music during her lessons that morning and began a rant about the dreadful woman who was soon to become her sister-in-law. Yet, Alina had stopped her before Rebecca caused too much of a fuss.
‘There is little point, Lady Rebecca,’ Alina stated wearily, for it had been a particularly difficult session with neither of them being in any form either to learn or to teach. ‘I am afraid there are people whose minds have been made up, and there is nothing anyone can do to change them now.’
‘You are talking about my brother, Miss Alina.’
‘It matters little who I am talking about, my lady. Sometimes, things just do not work out. Perhaps, it is all for the best.’
‘How can it all be for the best?’ Rebecca retorted with a look of disbelief. ‘How is me not being able to have you teach me any longer, for the best? I have learned more with you than I could have with any other, and my brother knows that well enough. And what of you and your own situation? You and your mother will have no income now. How will you survive?’
‘There are many people far worse off than myself and my mother, my lady. Please, I do not wish you to worry about me. I will find something, for I am educated enough that a position will become available.’
‘I do not want you to leave, Miss Alina, please,’ Rebecca now begged. ‘Surely, I can reason with my brother, and I can convince him to let you stay. I am certain, if he knows how I feel, he will allow it.’
‘I do not want to stay, my lady. Not because of you, for I have been very fortunate in that I now see you as a friend more than a student and I will miss you dearly. It is simply because…’ Alina felt a lump press hard against her throat, and the more she tried to suppress her emotion, the more intense the pain became at either side of her neck. The tears had already welled in her eyes, and it took all her strength to try and control herself.
‘Is it because you love my brother, Miss Alina?’ Rebecca said gently.
Alina could not hold back any longer. Perhaps it was because the words had been said out loud. Perhaps it was because it was the first time she was truly acknowledging what could have been. Whatever it was, it did not matter, for she was not able to control her emotions and she suddenly found her shoulders shaking as she broke down and wept openly with no ability to stop herself.
Warm arms slid around her shoulders as Rebecca pulled her toward her in a consoling embrace. For such a young woman, she seemed to have a mature sense of what was needed, for she did not speak, but simply allowed Alina to grieve. The heartfelt sobs flowed from her body, the jerking spasms taking over her as all the pain she had supressed, rose to her awareness and out of her like some strange exorcism.
It was so much more than her having to leave because of hers and her mother’s circumstances now. Whereas before, that had been her main concern, Alina could not find the point where that line had been marred by her affection for Rebecca and her feelings for the Duke. Of course, she did not want to leave Rebecca, for the young woman had worked so hard to achieve all that she had accomplished so far, and she would miss her more deeply than she could express. Yet, her grief was far deeper than that.
With a mixture of shame and anguish that the Duke had thought she had lied, she had also trusted and respected him. Even after he had made overtures toward her when he was betrothed to another. She had understood his circumstances and had felt for his situation, feeling sorry for the predicament he had found himself in. Trapped, with seemingly no way out. Yet, all those emotions of affection and dare she say it, love, had gone to waste.
They had danced together less than a week ago and she had seen clearly in his gaze, how he felt about her. The following morning however, she had received the complete opposite from him, for he had regarded her with suspicion and looked upon her as a liar and a manipulator. Was it that knowledge that caused her the most pain, or the fact that the small hope that had started as a flicker and had grown over the weeks to a strong flame, had suddenly been doused as though a torrent had extinguished it?
What did it really matter now? It was over, and in a few more days, she would say goodbye to her friend and any hope of spending her life with a man she had fallen in love with, forever.
Alina did not even care what might become of her in that moment, for her despair was so overwhelming that a sense of indifference ran through her body. Even the thought of prison did not appear to be as bad as the feeling she currently experienced. Of course, she knew that was not true, but for now, fleetingly as it might be, that is truly how she felt in the moment.
***
The following days seemed to pass in the blink of an eye, until Alina found herself in her bedchamber, packing the little possessions she owned into a luggage bag. It was only a single bag that could be easily carried, for there was not much that she had brought with her. She had only really needed a regular change of clothes and some small toiletries.
Her hands worked automatically as she folded the last few items, for her mind did not seem to want to consider what she would have to do now. It was only the sound of a small tap on her bedchamber door, that seemed to bring her out of her mindless reverie.
‘Miss Alina, may I come in?’ Rebecca’s voice carried through the solid wooden barrier between them.
‘Yes, my lady.’
The door opened and Rebecca timidly walked through it, closing it quietly behind her. Her eyes flicked from Alina to the bag on the bed and back toward Alina. For a long moment she did not speak, as though she was unsure what she wished to say and, in that hesitation, Alina knew well, how difficult this goodbye was going to be for the both of them.
‘What will happen now, Miss Alina? Where will you go?’ she asked eventually, a look of concern lining her brow.
‘Oh, I do not know, my lady...’
‘Please, Miss Alina. We are all alone, you can call me Rebecca.’
‘Rebecca.’ Alina nodded with a soft smile. ‘We will have to leave our house in the town, for we certainly can no longer afford to live there. Perhaps mother and I can find modest accommodations in the outskirts, or even the country. The residences there are cheaper, and a smaller house will be easier to manage anyway.’
‘You will not end up on the streets, will you? Or in the workhouse?’
‘No, Rebecca.’ Alina smiled sadly, though at this point, she could not know that for certain. She would hunt and beg to find more work wherever she could, and she was determined that they would not end up in such dire circumstances, but at that moment, Rebecca needed to be assured.
‘I will find more work. I am certain of it.’
‘I wish you could stay.’
‘I know.’
‘Will you write to me, perhaps, when you find your new home?’
‘Of course, I will write to you, for I will wish to know how your singing and your piano lessons are coming along.’
‘And I will wish to know that you are well and that you are happy in your new employment.’
‘We will send many letters and tell each other all sorts of things about our lives, Rebecca. However, now it is time for me to leave.’
After a second’s hesitation, Rebecca took a step forward and practically threw herself at Alina, hugging her tightly as though she were some sort of life line. Alina could do little but wrap her arms around Rebecca and embrace her with the same intensity. She would miss this young lady very much, but if she did not leave soon, she knew she would find herself in tears once more.
‘Come now.’ Alina patted her gently. ‘Walk me down to my carriage, for I know there is one waiting upon me.’
The two women were descending the stairs, when a movement in the hallway below caught Alina’s attention. Swiftly she looked up, a strange hope in her heart that perhaps, the Duke had come to say goodbye also. Yet, as she took the last few steps of the staircase, she was sorely disappointed.
Lady Richardson stood with her arms across her chest like some washer-woman, sneering at Alina as she continued toward the door.
‘Well, it is about time that we were rid of the riff raff,’ she sneered derisively.
‘How dare you speak to Miss Alina in such a way,’ Rebecca retorted. ‘You have no right…’
‘It is all right, my lady,’ Alina said, not changing her pace as she headed toward the open front door. She did not stop, for she could not wait to be out of the nasty woman’s sight and could not say she was not relieved to see the carriage waiting on her.
Rebecca followed her out. ‘She cannot speak to you in such a way, Miss Alina. It is utterly abhorrent.’
Alina placed her bag down on the floor, and though she did not pay attention to him, was aware of the driver picking it up and taking it to the rear of the carriage.
Turning toward Rebecca, she smiled sadly. ‘Now, my lady. You must not fret about her behaviour. There is little point, for she will soon be your sister-in-law.’
‘Well, it has not happened yet,’ she replied adamantly. ‘And I have some doubt that it ever will.’
Alina frowned at her comment for her curiosity begged to know why Rebecca would make such a statement. Yet, she did not ask her the meaning of her words. It was not her concern now. It never would be and never was. She was leaving the manor and Rebecca and the Duke behind her. It was now time for her to concentrate on where her life would take her next.
After another long embrace, the women parted with Alina promising to write to Rebecca as soon as she had secured further accommodation. There was little point in giving her current address, for Alina knew well, they would simply not be able to stay there for very long, now that she had lost the only income herself and her mother previously had.
With her future unknown, she waved goodbye to her friend and gave a final glance toward the manor as the carriage pulled away. Sitting back in the carriage, it was not relief that she felt, but an overwhelming sadness that completely enveloped her.
Chapter 19
He had watched the carriage roll out of the courtyard unnoticed, for whilst Miss Goodwin had glanced back at the manor as the carriage began its departure, she could not have seen him watching her through his study window. The strangeness Frederick experienced was difficult to name, for whilst he felt justified in his decision to dismiss her, there was something else that opposed that feeling, initiating a conflict within himself.
A yearning in his heart caused a disturbing sensation that he struggled to shake and though he was not ignorant of the feelings he once had for her, it nearly annoyed him that his emotions seemed to control him. Try as he might, he could not shift the persistent sensation for some time, to the point that it caused him some doubt in his judgement as he considered his actions of the previous week.
Surely, he had made the right decision, for he could not tolerate a woman who would use lies and deceit. It had been the specificity of the lies in particular that had irked him, for when he had discovered that her cover story included her father dying in the war, he could not see that as anything other than manipulation. With a little background knowledge of his own service, it would not have been difficult for her to convince Mr Guzman to spin such a story knowing that he may be more inclined to employ her out of sympathy for her plight.
What he could not reconcile was her adamance in her denial. Even when he had displayed her deceit clearly before her, she had still been defiant that that she had not deceived him. Perhaps, that is what had annoyed him the most. Once found out, it would have been better for her to at least admit to her crime, for her continued refusal had not helped her position.
He had to admit, perhaps she would do better in the theatre, for her skills at convincing people that she was something she was not, were quite persuasive. However, he was not so gullible as to be taken in. There was no doubt that Miss Goodwin had skills. She could play beautifully on the piano and her voice was indeed, something he had never heard before, yet one did not have to be an aristocrat to be able to do such. Though, he could not deny how well she had taught Rebecca. Out of all that had occurred, that had been the only positive that had resulted.
His best course of action now, was to forget about Miss Goodwin entirely. Whilst he thought he had experienced some affection for her, how could he know that the person she had pretended to be, was indeed, her true self? Everything he had grown to know and admire about her, could all have been part of her act to remain employed at the manor. In that way, his affection could well have grown for a person that did not exist, like some ghostlike being that disappeared when one attempted to grasp it. Besides, he had other problems he had to deal with.
Lady Richardson, whilst bringing Miss Goodwin’s deceit to his attention, had gone about it in such a way, that it hardly befitted a lady. The gossip had run rampant throughout the ball that night. Not only had her whisperings caused quite a disturbance, it had also made him look like rather a fool. If she had news of Miss Goodwin’s deception, she ought to have come to him directly so it could have been dealt with behind closed doors, rather than having all his guests consumed with the knowledge of his private business.
