Unintentional Virgin, page 1
About the Author
Copyright 2013 A.J. Bennett Published by A.J. Bennett
All rights reserved.
This book is protected under the copyright laws of the Unit- ed States of America. Any reproduction or other unauthorized use of the material or artwork herein is prohibited. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without prior written permission of the author.
This novel is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events; to real people, living or dead; or to real locales are intended only to give the fiction a sense of reality and authenticity. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author?s imagination or are used fictitiously, and their resemblance, if any, to real-life counterparts is entirely coincidental.
Cover Art by Eden Crane Design
Editing by Allison Potter & Christine LePorte
To Lizzy Ford for your guidance and support.
“Karma Points, get your ass down here right now!”
Seriously? Karma groaned and threw the comforter off her. She tossed her long legs to the side and grabbed hold of her bedpost, pulling herself to standing. What the hell did her father want now? He was really ticking her off these days. Now that she was over eighteen, he was always holding it over her head that he didn’t have to allow her to live in his house.
Why couldn’t she just stay in bed all day? She hated mornings. Pissed off, she yanked her robe off the back of the chair, causing the chair to tumble to the hardwood floor with a loud thud. She glared at the collapsed chair, but didn’t bother to pick it up. Ugh! She wrapped the white fluffy robe snug around her waist and stepped over the piles of clothes on the floor, nearly tripping when her foot got tangled in her backpack strap. She kicked her foot loose and made her way out the door.
Half asleep, she stumbled down the long spiral staircase and into the kitchen. The bright light from the large open window caused her to blink a couple of times until her eyes adjusted.
“What?” Karma demanded, still rubbing the sleep from her blurry eyes. She flicked her eyes to the clock on the microwave. Ten forty-five, aka, way too damn early. It should be against the law to wake before noon.
“I missed you too,” her father said sarcastically before launching into his lecture.
“You’re a God damn slob, Karma. Clean up this mess now or start looking for a new place to live. This has gotten ridiculous.”
Karma looked around the kitchen at the stacks of dishes piled high, pizza boxes strewn across the table, and finally down at her ugly pug, Princess, who stared up at her with its beady little eyes and its slobbery tongue wagging out the corner of its mouth. She hated that freaking dog. Who the hell named a pug Princess? Oh yeah, her crazy-ass-mother, that’s who. “Sorry,” she mumbled under her breath, tucking her unruly hair behind her ear.
“Jesus, I leave you for four days and come home to a disaster. It looks like a damn cyclone tore through the house.”
Karma grunted and rolled her eyes. Her father was so dramatic. It wasn’t that bad…was it?
Besides, if he was that worried about it he should hire a maid. It’s not like he didn’t have the money for it; that man was just a damn tightwad. Well, that wasn’t really true, he just didn’t like strangers touching his stuff. He was meticulous about everything. Karma’s dad was for sure borderline OCD; Karma was virtually his polar opposite.
Not meeting his eyes, she flipped open one of the discarded pizza boxes and snagged a slice. She was starving, and her head throbbed.
Her father’s nose scrunched up in disdain. “That’s disgusting, how long has it been sitting on the table?”
“Yeah, well, your shirt is ugly.” Karma took a big bite and leaned against the kitchen counter trying to hide her smile. Her father was so predictable.
He glanced down at his bright blue and orange shirt and back at her with apprehension. “You really think it’s ugly? Matt bought it for me. I wasn’t sure if the colors worked, but he insisted it brought out my eyes.”
She swallowed the cold pizza. “It really doesn’t. Matt needs to have his own eyes examined, and that shirt needs to go to Goodwill.” Karma took another bite. She knew talking about his clothes would distract him from the mess. She’d been using that technique ever since she was little and had figured out fashion was something he took very seriously.
He’d been threatening to kick her out for a while now, and Karma was starting to get concerned that he would actually go through with it. Most girls her age were dying to get out on their own. Not her—she was going to mooch off her father as long as he allowed it. She really wasn’t ready to grow up quite yet. And most of the time her father was pretty cool. Actually, her father was pretty amazing. She just liked to give him a hard time, especially this time of day; she was clearly not a morning person.
“Have you talked to your mother?” her father asked as he swiped a pile of trash off the table and into the garbage can.
Karma walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a can of soda, popping the top. “She called the other day. She won’t be able to make it for my birthday—big surprise.”
Next week, Karma would be twenty, and to her own dismay, she had still not been accepted to any of the colleges she applied to over the summer. This meant she was still living with her dad and his boy toy, Matt. And on top of that, she had to attend her second year at a local community college while all her friends were enjoying life at prestigious universities, or had recently finished up a gap year backpacking through Europe. Although the idea of lugging around a heavy bag on her shoulders, and rarely showering, was not her idea of a good time, even if she did get to see the world. They could keep it. Of course, none of her so-called friends had much to do with her these days. Whatever.
Her father’s demeanor softened. “What’s her excuse this time?”
“Apparently, she’s decided to check herself into rehab—again.” Karma rolled her eyes. Her mother was a basket case. A beautiful, selfish, controlling nut job.
A frown creased his forehead as her father flipped on the coffee pot. Almost instantly the wonderful, rich aroma of coffee flooded the room and she inhaled deeply. She wasn’t crazy about the taste, but she loved the smell.
“That woman is a poor excuse for a mother,” her father said, sighing.
Karma waggled her finger at her dad with a smile. “Dad, rule number one—no talking badly about Mom. Remember?” Karma had been in therapy for as long as she could recall; at her mother’s insistence, of course.
“That’s because that woman is bat-shit crazy. I don’t even know what you ever saw in her.” Karma plopped on the bar stool, wrapping her feet around the wood, and watched her father as he continued to pick up her mess. She should offer to help—hell, she’d made the mess, she should be cleaning it all by herself—but she really was tired.
“Well, she gave me you, the only good thing that came out of that disaster of a relationship.”
“I don’t even know why you tried to fight your attraction to men,” Karma said, resting her chin on her hand. “Although I guess if you hadn’t I wouldn’t have been born. But seriously, what were you thinking?”
Her father smiled sadly. “Your mom made me believe anything was possible. However, mostly it was the partying and the fact that your mom’s a knockout. If anyone could set me straight it was her. Obviously, that didn’t work out too well.”
He was right about one thing. Her mother was a knockout—even in her forties, she still turned heads. Karma still to this day had to see her mom half naked on billboards. It was not an easy thing to grow up with a lingerie model for a mother. Unfortunately, Karma hadn’t inherited her mother’s good looks. She was more of a plain Jane. Her nose was a bit too large, her eyes too wide set, and her hair was a mousy brown wavy mess that frizzed up with even the slightest temperature rise. Sure, she was pretty if you’re into the girl-next-door look, but she was not a head turner. This was fine with her. At least, that’s what her shrink tried to convince her.
But seriously, her mom was a nut job. Really, who named their child Karma Points? It was beyond cruel. Absurdly, her mother thought it was cute, saying she must have earned enough karma points to get a gay man to give her a wonderful daughter. How lame could you get? And if Karma was so wonderful, why was her mother never around?
Thanks to her mother’s cruelty, she’d been teased her whole life about her damn name. They didn’t even give her a middle name, claiming it would mess up the flow. Seriously, you couldn’t make this shit up. No matter how many times she begged her father to change her name, he would not budge. She was old enough that she could do it herself now, but—though she’d never admit it to her parents—the name had kind of grown on her over the years.
“I’m sorry she’s not coming, honey. We’ll do something fun for your birthday.” Her father gave up on cleaning and sat down next to her.
“You’re a great dad,” Karma said, and she really meant it. She’d been living with him since she was four and really couldn’t imagine her crazy life any other way.
Her mother, Isabella, swept in and out of her life when the mood struck her, a free spirit. Karma rolled her eyes. Free spirit my ass. More like a selfish bitch that cared more about herself than anyone else, and didn’t want the responsibility of having a child.
“I’ll make your favorite, lasagna. We’ll rent movies and stay up all night.”
“Sounds good. Just like every year.” Karma forced a smile. The idea of turning twenty was not appealing in the slightest.
What Karma really couldn’t believe was the fact that she was about to turn twenty and she was still a freaking virgin. What the hell was that all about? It wasn’t for lack of trying, that’s for sure. She just had really bad luck and horrible taste in guys.
“I really am sorry about the mess, Dad.” Karma scooted her stool closer and leaned over, laying her head on his shoulder.
“I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I just had a long weekend and expected to come home to a clean house. You really do need to get more organized. It only takes a second to throw something away.”
“You’re right. I’ll try to be better about it. You’re not really going to kick me out, are you?”
“Of course not, you can stay as long as you want. Although I really hope you want to fly the coop at some point. It’s not natural for you to want to stay with me forever, you know.”
Karma sighed. She knew he was right, but she didn’t feel ready. She’d have to bring it up with her shrink at her next appointment. Maybe.
That evening, the doorbell rang and Karma barreled down the steps, nearly tripping over the shoes her father had left for her, and pulled the door open.
“It’s about time,” Karma huffed.
Eva didn’t even bother to respond. She was habitually late, and never bothered to apologize. Karma took in her friend’s attire. She was one of those girls who could make geeky look hot. Her black hair was cropped short, and she wore thick black glasses, black skinny jeans, and a tight black T-shirt that read Bring Back Firefly. With her mocha skin, hazel eyes, and high cheekbones, she could be a model. Once, Karma had made the mistake of asking what the hell Firefly was and had to watch the whole series in one sitting. Granted, the series was only one season, but still… Secretly, she loved it, but she didn’t tell Eva that. She’d never let her live it down.
“Are you going to let me in or what?” Eva demanded, her hand on her narrow hip.
Karma rolled her eyes and stepped back as Eva brushed past her and kicked off her shoes, placing them on the shoe rack.
She’d met Eva last year in a sociology class at the community college, and the two had become fast friends. Eva was so different from the stuck-up preppy girls she went to high school with. She didn’t care what others thought about her and didn’t take shit from anyone. Which was a welcome change in Karma’s life, where fake and plastic was the norm.
“Where’s your dad and Matt?” Eva glanced around the living room and peeked into the large open kitchen.
“They went out.” It was so annoying that all her friends loved her father. Seriously, you’d think they’d never met a gay dad before. They were always asking his advice on fashion and their love lives. She told him he should start an online column. “Why?” Karma asked, narrowing her eyes.
Eva shrugged. “Just wanted to ask Matt about a coding issue I’m having. It’s not a big deal.”
Karma rolled her eyes. Matt was a computer genius. He was basically a hacker on the government’s payroll. Karma had to endure way too many boring conversations between him and Eva. It was like they were speaking another language. A very boring language at that.
“I’ll let him know.” Karma dropped into the couch and Eva sank into the leather chair. Princess’s nails clicked loudly on the hardwood floor. She tried to jump onto the couch and failed; finally on the third attempt she made it, pulling her little fat body up and laying her head on Karma’s lap. Instinctively, Karma ran her hand down the short coarse fur. Okay, so maybe she didn’t really hate the dog, but Princess really was ugly as sin. That was the cold hard truth.
“Do you want to do anything special for your birthday?” Eva asked, grabbing a fashion magazine off the coffee table and flipping through it.
“Besides get laid?” Karma frowned and instantly wished she could take the words back.
Eva burst out laughing. “Umm, what?”
“Never mind, you wouldn’t get it.” Karma kicked her feet up on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles. Her father would have a conniption fit if he was home.
“Get what?” Eva shut the magazine and dropped it back on the table, turning her attention to Karma. Curiosity lit her hazel eyes—today they looked more green than brown.
Karma looked away. “It’s embarrassing.”
Eva’s eyes widened and a slow smile spread across her face. “Get out of here! You are not a virgin. Are you?”
Karma groaned and laid her head on the armrest. “You might as well know the truth. Your friend is a total loser.”
“You’re not a total loser, Karma. What, are you waiting till you get married?” Eva raised an eyebrow.
“Hell no! I just can’t get a guy to have sex with me.”
“Don’t bother. It may be ridiculous, but it’s true.”
Eva leaned forward and propped her elbow on the arm of the chair. “How did I not know this fact about you? So what, you’ve never had a boyfriend?”
“It’s not something I want to advertise to the world and I’ve had plenty of boyfriends. It’s just anytime it was about to happen something goes wrong. I swear I’m cursed to be a virgin for life. Even though I firmly believe you should try out the merchandise before purchasing for life.”
“Or it’s bad Karma. Get it? Karma?” Eva was clearly pleased with the turn of phrase.
“I get it,” Karma said, rolling her eyes. “Maybe it is. Something else I can talk to my shrink about. I might need an extra-long session this week.”
Eva ignored the shrink remark. Eva wasn’t a fan of therapists. She always told Karma a long run outdoors was better than any therapy session. Too bad Karma and sweat didn’t get along too well. “There has to be a good story in here. Tell me about some of the failed attempts. But first, want a drink?” Eva scrambled to her feet.
“Yeah, grab me a soda. I don’t know if I want to relive the embarrassment.”
A couple of minutes later Eva padded through the room with soda cans and a bag of sour cream and onion chips.
“Spill,” Eva said with a grin as she settled back into her seat.
“Fine! The first time was Kevin Carlson. God, he was so hot. You know, in that awkward sixteen-year-old skinny hot?”
Eva nodded and grabbed a handful of chips.
“Anyway, we dated for about four months, so of course we fooled around a little, but one day his parents went out for the evening, so we were at his house alone—condoms purchased and everything. We were making out all hot and heavy on the couch. My shirt was off. Kevin was down to his boxers and standing at attention, if you get what I mean…”
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